


Falling Star, Shooting Star

by Scriberat



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Sex, College AU, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oral Sex, coffee shop AU, color sight soulmate au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-08-29 21:34:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 136,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8506288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scriberat/pseuds/Scriberat
Summary: Saeran hadn't expected anything more from that day than a good cup of coffee, mediocre classes, and nagging from his brother to find someone. He hadn't expected to find his soulmate, or to discover what color was. He certainly didn't think that he would find violet to be such a lovely color.





	1. Color in a Spark

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Saeran groaned as his alarm went off, blaring on the table next to his bed. He raised his head off his pillow and gave the alarm clock his signature death glare. It didn’t work. Alarm clocks don’t get scared.

Saeran moved across the bed, the movement forcing him to wake up. It was a tactic he had started using after almost missing class in the first week. It was his own fault. He was the one who signed up for an 8am class. The clock said it was 6:32. He dragged himself out of bed, wandered over to the bathroom, and got ready for the day. When he left, it was about seven. That reminded him that his brother needed to wake up.

“Saeyoung! Get up!” he shouted, banging on his brother’s door. Then he left for class, or rather, attempted to. Just as he was opening the front door, his sister-in-law snuck up behind him and gave him a hug. He scowled.

“Have a good day in class today,” she said.

“And get a datemate!” called Saeyoung.

“Shut up!” Saeran shouted back. He growled and walked out the door. Sometimes his brother really annoyed him. He had just woken up less than an hour ago, and already the moron was talking about love. It put him in a sour mood.

The door opened again, and he heard his brother say, “I hope you can see how green your eyes are when you get home!” Saeran whipped around and charged the door. Saeyoung yelped and shut it quickly.

“Stupid brother,” Saeran grumbled. He stalked off toward the coffee shop owned by one of his brother’s friends, a place he visited every day. As much as moving across the bed woke him up in the morning, nothing got him ready for a shitty day like a cup of coffee.

He had heard people describe the color of coffee as “brown”, though he didn’t actually know what that color was. Everything was painted in grays, like it would be until he met his soulmate, whoever that was. Most people met theirs when they were young, and got to live with color for years. There had been girls in high school who had dressed in colors, making weird outfits that just looked like interestingly shaded gray blobs. Some of them had approached him over the years. He always glared them away, perfecting the technique as time went on.

All through high school, no one dated the Choi twins.

It wasn’t Saeyoung’s fault he appeared like a comet and attracted people, then disappeared to do some coding or something. It was his fault, as Saeran had mentioned it several  
times, that he never dealt with people who mistook one twin for the other. That was what led most people to approach him. Those moments in high school where people tried to get close also led to him bleaching his hair. He didn’t look like his brother anymore, at least. No more “red” hair like his brother’s.

His brother, Saeyoung, was gifted. He had learned how to code at a young age, and only gotten better since then. How many times had he gone onto the school website and messed around with it in subtle ways? How many times had he hacked into official websites for fun? It didn’t matter. His activity was enough that he had gotten a job with a secret agency, which Saeran never mentioned to anyone.

Saeran, for his part, had nothing to show in coding skills. He was good, sure, but not as good as his brother. He could never quite get past Saeyoung’s firewalls, or override his security, and he certainly couldn’t mess with random things. That was why he was getting a degree in computer science. At least his skills in coding and technology wouldn’t be a complete waste with this.

If it weren’t for the fact that the class he had to go to was required for his degree, he wouldn’t bother going. But it was required, so he did go. That led him to the street for his favorite coffee shop (he would never tell anyone, but he genuinely liked Saeyoung’s friend, Jaehee.) He walked down toward it, planning to get his coffee quickly and go to class.

As he opened the door, a thought struck him. What if he didn’t go to class today? What if he just… hung around here for a while? He had his laptop. He could do some coding, maybe finish a playable version of the game he’d been working on. Yeah, that sounded good. Saeran was going to skip today.

“Can I get a medium black?” he asked the barista, reaching into his jacket pocket for his wallet.

“Sure thing,” the barista replied. He was Saeyoung’s best friend, Yoosung, some cheery, peppy kid who attended the same university. Since Saeran was skipping class, he figured he could at least afford Yoosung a quick glance as he thanked him. He never did, no matter how many times he ordered coffee here.

“Congratulations, by the way! You get a gift card for a free coffee of your choice, since you’re our most loyal customer,” Yoosung said, handing Saeran his coffee and a card. Saeran took the card, looking at it briefly before shoving it into his wallet. He stuck his card into the chip reader.

“Thank you,” he said, looking at Yoosung and oh. Oh wow. In the instant that their eyes met, his vision changed dramatically. Gray wasn’t the predominant color, anymore. Instead, there were a hundred colors, and he couldn’t identify any of them.

“You--” he murmured.

“You’re...” Yoosung breathed. How could this be? Hadn’t they been in this situation before? Had he really never looked Yoosung in the eye, with all the times he bought coffee, and all the times Saeyoung invited the “blond” to his house? Saeran gaped, opening and closing his mouth, trying to find words to say. He thought of how Saeyoung had mentioned getting a datemate earlier.

“I--” he started.

“Yeah?” Yoosung asked. He was looking all around, admiring the colors that decorated the place.

“I need you to fake date so my brother won’t bother me anymore,” Saeran said. That was dumb. That was stupid. If they were seeing color because of each other, then that meant they were soulmates. There was no need to fake date. But Saeyoung might throw a fit if he found out that his brother and best friend were destined to be together. This was safe, for now. Even so, it was too sudden. He needed time to think.

“Fake date? If we’re soulmates --- hey! Saeran, where are you going?” Yoosung leaned over the counter, concern etched on his face as Saeran ran out of the building, coffee in hand.

 

He ended up in class ten minutes early, a new record for him. The room was dark, but there were still some colors around. He sat down in his usual spot in the corner, trying not to seem frazzled. Most of the other students didn’t care that he had shown up. One or two looked up, attracted by movement. Saeran pulled out his laptop, mouse, and headphones, set himself up, then opened his browser and started learning about colors.

Fire was “red,” and red was a bright color, unless it was dark? This seemed odd. Saeran decided to take an online course in color theory. He’d heard of other people taking it when they found color, to understand it better. The ocean was “blue,” which wasn’t as bright, unless it was lighter… He opened another tab to look up online color theory classes, and successfully identified the link color as “blue.”

The professor entered the room, setting things down on his desk before turning to the assembled class. Saeran pulled his headphones off.

The chalkboard was green. The metal holder was silver. The wall was white. His professor was extremely brown. How did someone wear so much brown? Saeran realized he had no idea what he looked like in color. That was a problem for another time. How awkward would it be if he suddenly started looking down at himself? Saeyoung had said his eyes were green. What shade of green? There were tons!

The professor was writing on the board, discussing the next part of their curriculum. Saeran had already gotten a head start on learning this stuff. It was mostly coding this semester, which he was good at. They were learning a new language, one which wasn’t used often, save for specific instances. Saeran did need the practice with this one. He opened his coding program, looking at the colors in front of him. They were so beautiful. Certain commands appeared in different colors, like purple, red, and orange. He suddenly felt like he was making art as he wrote the code.

Practice that day was supposed to be slight variations on proven code, changing variables that wouldn’t break everything. Saeran did that, and then started going further. He coded in a bunch of colors, looked up different colors he could put in, and started experimenting. Some of them looked better with each other than others. He fixed them so that everything looked nice, but the end result seemed too loud, like the outfits that the girls wore in high school. He changed it up, remembering how the coffee shop had looked, in shades of brown that complimented each other.

Did that mean his professor was dressed like coffee? Saeran looked at his cup and grimaced. He shook it to judge its contents, and, finding it thankfully empty, threw it across the room into the trash.

“What’s up with all those colors? You find your soulmate this morning?” asked one of Saeran’s classmates. He shot the intruder his glare, satisfied at the resulting withering of confidence on the other’s part. Then he went back to coding.

Now that he had color, he could implement it into his game. He had been doing so already, choosing colors at random, since they didn’t actually mean anything. With the color theory class he planned to enroll in, it would be a lot easier, and they wouldn’t clash horribly like they probably did.

The professor was busy at his desk, so Saeran decided, since he had meant to skip class that morning, to goof off and go back to coding his game. He pulled it up, a simple 8bit shooter he’d been working on the past couple days, and found that he wasn’t so bad at choosing nice shades of gray. The colors didn’t work well together, but it wasn’t a total eyesore. He fixed the worst of the colors, bringing everything into harmony, then enrolled in that online class. Saeran spent the rest of the time learning about color theory.

At the end of class, Saeran found himself looking at the obnoxious classmate from earlier, who wiggled their eyebrows at him, smirking. Saeran rolled his eyes and left, going to the library to chill for a while before his next class.

He had been settled in for a while when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and glared at them, but his glare softened immediately when he saw Yoosung.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“We go to the same university,” Yoosung replied, chortling. “Besides, you forgot your card when you paid for your coffee this morning.” He handed Saeran’s card back to him.

“Oh. Thank you.” Saeran looked Yoosung in the eyes again, startled by the vibrancy in them. Was this purple? If so, purple was officially his favorite color.

“So, uh… what are you up to?” Yoosung asked nervously. He was blushing, red covering his cheeks.

“I’m coding a game.”

“That’s so cool! Can I see?”

“Sure. It’s not done yet, though.” Saeran turned his laptop a bit so Yoosung could see it better.

“Oh, wow! Those colors are so pretty! I don’t know their names, but I like them!”

“Well, that one’s orange, and that’s red...” Saeran continued to explain the names of all the colors he had used. He looked through his coding to find the names he had forgotten. Yoosung paid close attention.

“So that means your eyes are… green? Right?”

“That’s what my brother said.” He still hadn’t taken a proper look at himself yet. Yoosung thought for a moment, then smiled with an idea and pulled out his phone.

“Smile!” he sang, taking a picture. Saeran immediately scowled, but Yoosung was too preoccupied bringing up the picture he’d taken to notice.

“There. You probably haven’t seen yourself yet, have you?”

“No, not yet.” He could see himself now. His hair was gray, almost silver, and there was pink in some of the tips and Saeyoung had told him he got all the red out the jerk. His eyes were a light shade of green. His shirt was a dark red.

“You look really nice,” Yoosung said.

“So do you. I like your eyes,” Saeran replied, handing back the phone. Yoosung stared at him, gorgeous eyes wide with surpise. He had messed up. He had said something wrong, and now Yoosung hated him, and didn’t it just figure that, upon finally meeting his soulmate, he fucked everything up? But then Yoosung cracked a wide smile, bigger and brighter than Saeran had ever seen before, save on his sister-in-law, when Saeyoung managed to not be a moron.

“Thank you so much! Oh, but, what did you mean earlier, when you said you wanted to fake date? Wouldn’t it make more sense to date for real?”

“Yeah, but if my brother finds out his best friend is my soulmate, he’s going to flip. I want to avoid that.” Saeran didn’t know if it was the bizarreness of the day so far, or if he really did feel comfortable around Yoosung, but he felt like he could honestly talk to the boy for hours.

“Alright,” Yoosung said quietly. Then he perked up. “Do you want to come over to my house later? Or maybe we can go out somewhere? I-I mean, if you’re okay with that. I don’t want to push you into doing anything...”

“No, it’s fine. Maybe...” Saeran thought for a moment, realizing that he was kind of hungry. “Maybe we could go for ice cream?” It was selfish and indulgent, but he wanted something tasty, and it was the sort of thing a couple would do, right?

“That sounds great! Do you like ice cream?” Yoosung’s eyes were filled with curiosity. Saeran blushed and turned his head away.

“A-a bit. It’s pretty convenient for a first date, and all.”

“Yeah, it is. Then, let’s get ice cream together after class, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’ll meet you in front of the library at four,” Yoosung said, getting up.

“Sounds good,” Saeran replied. He turned back to his computer just in time to realize that he needed to get to his next class, too. He packed his things and left.

Time passed slowly, inching along from 2:00 to 2:05, and then slowing even further trying to get to 2:06. Saeran stared at the clock, not really paying attention to the lesson. He just wanted it to be four already, but that was forever away.

On top of that, he wasn’t really sure what to do on this date that may or may not be fake. He wasn’t really sure. Was it real? They were soulmates, after all. But, he didn’t want his brother getting involved. If Saeyoung thought that Yoosung was just going on a pity date with Saeran, then there wouldn’t be a problem. If the “redheaded” twin knew that the two of them were destined for each other, then there would be absolute mayhem. Saeran could see his brother getting way too into the whole idea of celebrating his brother no longer being forever alone. There would be a party with all of their friends, all of whom had found their soulmates, even the ice cold Jumin Han. As it turned out, someone had been able to melt his heart, though no one was sure when or how or what happened to them, because they certainly weren’t in the picture now.

Saeran suspected it was his cat, Elizabeth the 3rd.

Couples usually talk about stuff, right? He had his laptop, and access to the internet. Saeran opened a tab, looking up what to do on a first date. There was something about “shared experience.” Well, that was going to be the whole thing, so it wasn’t terribly helpful. Most sites seemed geared toward women. He read them anyway, figuring that any amount of help would be good.

Pick a place or food, was the first tip on a 10 tips article. He had already chosen ice cream. Did Yoosung even like ice cream? Why hadn’t he asked!? The date hadn’t even started and he was already messing everything up. It was okay, though, right? First dates are to get to know each other better, so messing up and not being perfect are okay. At least, he hoped.

Smile. Women are into that. But Yoosung wasn’t a woman. Did this stuff still apply? Miyoung had said that smiling showed friendliness and made people trust you more. Saeran decided to smile, like the tips said, since it wouldn’t hurt.

Body language. Don’t be too open or too closed, it sends the wrong message. Then what was he supposed to do? What did “sit up straight” even mean? Saeran tried pulling himself up. It opened him, but not as bad as the article seemed to suggest was annoying. He suddenly realized that sitting with one’s body sprawled all over was something he’d seen his brother do. It indicated laziness. Saeran snorted.

The next two, ask questions and listen, were pretty obvious. Even so, Saeran committed himself to succeeding at both. It occurred to him that he was neither listening to nor asking questions about the lesson. Oh well. Priorities had shifted.

Flattery was a good thing, according to women. Saeran wondered if it would work. Flattery was like compliments, right? Everyone likes them, even him, though he’d never admit it. If people thought he was soft, they’d get all up in his personal space. Yoosung would definitely like compliments. He was basically the definition of soft.

Act right. What? The explanation mentioned insecurity, and mental illness like they were quirks. That rankled the gray-hair. He happened to suffer from both, and they weren’t just something that could be hidden. Besides, if you’re going to be with someone, you should know what you’re getting into! He realized, of course, that showing off mental illness was a bad idea. Maybe he could just… mention them? Like, “hey, Yoosung. I’ve got depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Date me.” That was dumb. That was really dumb.

He admitted that the article had a point there, but he couldn’t keep that part of himself hidden forever.

Don’t touch inappropriately. Obviously. It was a first date, he didn’t want to mess it up. And holding hands? Definitely seemed like a third or fourth date thing. Or maybe fifth? He didn’t know. It was something that came later.

Pay. So, he needed to pay for the ice cream? He didn’t really have any money, but he figured he could pilfer something from Saeyoung. Except he couldn’t because that meant having to go home and face his brother’s annoying questions about love. It also meant admitting directly to Yoosung that he didn’t have the funds for a date, despite drinking coffee every morning, and that rankled him.

Say goodnight was the last tip on the list. If they stayed out that long, then he would. He wasn’t supposed to just leave, he had to do something. But the things listed weren’t anywhere remotely in the zone of comfortable. Handshakes were awkward, especially for a “good night” kind of thing. Hugging was out of the question, and hand holding again? That was still very much a third date deal. Or fourth.

Saeran sighed, and turned his attention to the board. It was covered in something important. He really only registered the chalk.

Eternity passed, and it was 3:30. He had a half hour to get to the library. That was nowhere near enough time to get home and back with a trip to his brother’s wallet. He sighed, and pulled his own out. There was hardly any cash in there, since he never felt the need to use it. It didn’t look like enough to buy two ice cream cones. He hoped that the person selling the ice cream would take a card.

Then he remembered that there was an ATM by the cafeteria. Saeran ran to it as quickly as he could. When he made it, he thought a silent prayer to God for it being in working order and also not currently being used. But would you look at that, someone wanted to use it before him. He made eye contact and froze the interloper in place, drawing out twenty dollars worth of cash as quickly as possible. Saeran left, walking quickly but smoothly toward the library they had been in a few hours ago. When he arrived, he saw Yoosung waiting for him. He checked the time. There were still five minutes left.

“Saeran! You made it!” Yoosung called, waving. The blond had a big smile on his face, like he was actually excited for this. Saeran felt himself get happier, and his mouth twitched up. He immediately trained his face into one of indifference.

He didn’t want to hurt Yoosung, and while he was willing to go on one date, he was hoping to break this off before he did anything stupid. Maybe he could at the end, when they were supposed to hug or something? It would be awkward to touch if he denied a relationship at that point, right?

“Of course. We agreed to this, right?” Did he snap? Would it be good if he did? Would it push Yoosung away?

“Yeah. I’m really happy that you’re willing to go out with me. I was so afraid that you wouldn’t want to date me. You’ve always seemed so… asocial,” Yoosung said.

“Antisocial. I make sure people don’t approach me,” Saeran corrected. Why did he do that? The less Yoosung knew about him, the better, and here Saeran was, talking about himself like some bubbleheaded celebrity. He tried to add his glare to his words, but he just couldn’t bring it together.

“Oh. That makes me feel really special, then, if you’re letting me in.” Yoosung smiled brighter than before, if it was possible.

Goddammit this kid was impossible to shake off. Why did Saeran have to have such a loyal puppy as a soulmate?

“Let’s go,” Saeran said finally, moving toward a very familiar location. Honestly, it was the only reason he carried cash at all, because he knew that this particular ice cream vendor didn’t take cards. It was his favorite ice cream truck. He had tried tons of different brands and flavors over the years, and nowhere had quite as good strawberry ice cream as this truck.

“Okay!” Yoosung followed happily. He really was like a puppy, perfectly content to follow Saeran wherever, or so it seemed. Saeran didn’t doubt that that was the extent of that route of Yoosung’s character, which he shouldn’t be analyzing because that would bring them closer.

He shook his head of the thought.

“So where are we going?”

“It’s a secret. No one can know about it, okay? Especially not my brother.”

“Right.” They headed through a number of city streets, moving quickly along. Yoosung was good at keeping pace with Saeran, despite the height difference between them and the killer pace Saeran always walked at with this particular route. He may have been easily recognizable to his brother, with his gray hair and large black coat, but that didn’t mean he had to be easy to find. Even if Saeyoung hacked cameras all along the street, he would soon lose sight of his kid twin.

“Do you always walk this fast?” Yoosung asked. He sounded a bit out of breath.

“No.” It was a curt answer, cold and heartless. Saeran silently applauded himself.

“Is it someplace special, then?” Yoosung pulled up next to Saeran, somehow. How had he managed to build more speed? It was a mystery.

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, if it’s secret, it must be special already, but if you’re impatient to reach it, it must be extra so. So how special is it?” Saeran stopped and yanked on Yoosung’s collar.

“You’re gonna go into the road,” he said. Just because he was trying to make distance between them (an impossible task, considering Yoosung), it didn’t mean he was going to let his brother’s best friend die from stupidity and heavy traffic. He turned to the ice cream truck in front of him. It was always parked here at this time of day.

“What flavor do you want?” Saeran asked. Yoosung hummed in thought, looking over the choices before deciding.

“Strawberry,” he said. Saeran nodded. Was it his favorite flavor, too?

“Two strawberries, please,” Saeran said, pulling out his wallet. The ice cream man smiled, scooping their cones. He was older, and scooped with years of practice.

“Finally found someone to share with, Saeran?” the older man asked. Saeran was glad that he didn’t have much of a blush reaction.

“Yeah.” He handed over the money for the cones, then took them both and handed one to Yoosung. “Thanks for the ice cream,” he said. Strawberry was pink.

“Thank you!” Yoosung parroted.

“You’re very welcome. Good luck in your relationship.”

“Ah – th-thank you, sir!” Yoosung said, rather loudly. He was blushing noticeably. Saeran rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help a smile. Yoosung was just so cute.

And Saeran should not be thinking that, no sir. He was going to break this off before he got in too deep, that he was, and nothing was going to change his mind.

Except that Yoosung was doing a pretty good job of doing just that by the very nature of his existence.

The two of them wandered around for a while, not really going anywhere in particular. Yoosung shared stories of his life, told Saeran about how close he had been with his cousin, Rika. Saeran knew her, knew that Yoosung had been close to her before she supposedly died. Saeran knew what had actually happened, of course, but it wasn’t his goal to destroy Yoosung, so he said nothing.

In return, Saeran talked about his own childhood, at least, the happy memories. Most of them revolved around Saeyoung. Yoosung was pleasantly surprised to learn “Seven”’s real name. It made him laugh, since it was such an odd name. Then he realized that that might have been insensitive and immediately started apologizing profusely. Saeran had to calm him down, which somehow worked.

“I like your name more, though. Saeran sounds much better than Saeyoung.” It took Saeran by surprise. How could someone like his name more than Saeyoung’s? How – why did this punk, barely a year younger than him, manage to be so… so… nice?

Yoosung was changing his mind a bit by existing, and changing it a lot with his words.

It didn’t seem like long before they finished their ice cream cones, though the sun was beginning to set, casting a yellow glow over everything. Saeran looked wistfully at the last bite, wishing the cone had lasted longer so the date wouldn’t end. Then he mentally slapped himself. He was breaking this off! It would be better for Yoosung in the long run, after all, if he didn’t have to deal with… well, with Saeran.

“So, what should we do now?” Yoosung asked. Saeran balked.

“Now?” He didn’t know if there was a next thing they could do.

“Yeah. Like, we could go for a walk, or I could treat you to dinner.”

“We just had ice cream. Besides, I think… I need some time to process all of this.”

“Oh. Yeah, alright. It is kinda weird, huh? Just this morning, we were total strangers, and now...” Yoosung looked into the distance. The sun’s dying light filtered directly into  
his eyes, making them shine. Saeran couldn’t stop staring. He noticed how Yoosung’s face was highlighted. His hair glowed. His skin seemed to sparkle, almost. And the way his  
lips looked, so soft and inviting and no!

This wasn’t going to happen. It wasn’t going to happen! Even as Yoosung turned to him, watching him curiously, it wasn’t going to happen. Even as his lips moved so beautifully to ask what was wrong, it wasn’t going to happen.

And then it did.

Saeran slid his hands over Yoosung’s cheeks, grabbing firmly and gently, searching those violet eyes for… something. He didn’t find resistance, so he closed the gap and brushed  
his lips against the other’s.

“Saeran,” Yoosung breathed.

“Fuck,” Saeran said.

“What?”

“I-I didn’t mean --- I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what he was apologizing for. No, that wasn’t true. He knew exactly what he was apologizing for. Yoosung didn’t, and it wasn’t fair  
not to tell him.

This whole thing was unfair to Yoosung.

“Sorry for what?”

“I can’t… do this.” Saeran stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked away quickly. He kept his head down, shoving stupid emotions down to keep himself together.

“Saeran, wait!” He just moved faster.


	2. Color in a Moment

“Saeran, you’re home!” Miyoung said, poking her head out of the kitchen. Her hair was brown, and her sweater was a dark blue.

“Yeah.”

“Would you like dinner?”

“No thanks,” Saeran said, moving toward his room. He saw her frown, and knew that a visit from her was already imminent. She had a habit of wanting to help people, especially her friends. It was annoying, but he didn’t mind most of the time.

“I’ll bring some to your room later, okay?”

“Thanks.” Saeran entered his room, pulling his tech out and setting it down before throwing the bag on its chair. Then he plugged his laptop in to charge before getting on his computer. He stared at the screen for a while, not doing anything. He didn’t know what to do.

Nothing had been done when Miyoung opened the door, bringing in some food. She set it down on the desk next to Saeran, then leaned against the desk herself.

“Anything going on?” she asked. It had been awhile since Saeran had come to live with his brother, so Miyoung had some experience with coaxing him gently. Saeran breathed deeply, trying to decide what he wanted to say.

“Just a new assignment at school,” he replied finally. “It’s kind of annoying.”

“You’ve had annoying assignments before, and those didn’t send you to your room like that.”

“That?”

“Usually, when school’s annoying you, you stalk to your room at the speed of light. You don’t even stop to say hello. But this time, you seem more… sad, almost. Do you want to talk about it?” She was really perceptive, and really good at memorizing details about her friends. It was uncanny.

“I...” She leaned a little closer as Saeran started talking. He leaned away a bit, and then they returned to their positions as Miyoung backed off.

“I got coffee this morning.” He had ordered the events so often in his mind already. “And, I was annoyed at Saeyoung telling me to get a datemate, and… I decided to skip class. So I took my time getting my coffee, and I thanked the barista. I...” He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t say that he had looked the barista --- Yoosung --- in the eye, and saw color. It was too weird, and too new. Saeran wasn’t ready for a relationship, he couldn’t handle it. He…

He had broken Yoosung’s heart in a single instant.

Saeran clutched his head, as if digging into his skull would dig the memories out of his brain. He leaned on his desk and groaned.

“Did you… see color? Have you met your soulmate?” Miyoung asked gently. She was always so kind to him. Saeran nodded.

“Don’t tell Saeyoung. He’ll flip, and I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Of course. My lips are sealed.”

“Good.”

“Until a good moment, anyway.” Miyoung sprung away gleefully, giggling like Saeyoung did when he came across an especially fun hack.

“Don’t you dare! Miyoung, I swear to God!” She laughed and disappeared. Saeran groaned again. He was going to have to deal with that, at some point. Sometimes he just didn’t know what to do with the both of them. But he had decided what to do with his laptop. He opened the game from earlier and got back to work. It wasn’t finished, after all.

He couldn’t concentrate on his work. He tried to do homework, but couldn’t get that done, either. He considered calling someone to talk to, but the only people he really knew were busy with their own lives. Even eating didn’t help. Saeran considered going out to grab something sweet, but he didn’t move.

He finally just went to bed.

 

What had he meant? Saeran had said that he couldn’t do this, but what did that mean? What was it that he couldn’t do? Yoosung flipped his pencil into the air, trying to solve the mystery to no avail. He had started on his assignments, but the excitement from the day was too much for him to handle. Opening LoLoL hadn’t been sufficiently distracting, either. What was he supposed to do?

He had Saeran’s number, so he could call him. It wasn’t like they could just avoid each other forever, right? Besides, Jaehee and Zen had told him that the most important thing in a relationship was communication. Yoosung decided to call Saeran. He grabbed his phone and dialed immediately. Then, as the phone rang, he started doubting his decision. What if Saeran really didn’t want to talk to him? What if he just… ended the call? Yoosung considered hanging up, but the line went through.

“Hello?” asked Saeran.

“Hey, it’s Yoosung. Um, I wanted to talk to you… about earlier...”

“Oh.”

“Please don’t hang up! I want to figure this out. I want to try to be in a relationship with you.” He held his breath, waiting for Saeran’s response. He half expected the line to go dead.

“Why?” Saeran asked at last.

“What?”

“Why do you want to be in a relationship with me?”

“Because we’re soulmates. We’re meant to be together.”

“So?” Yoosung paused. He hadn’t expected Saeran to be so unwilling when it came to relationships. Then again, he hardly knew anything about the other, aside from the mundane things they had talked about earlier.

“So, if we’re supposed to be together, then it makes sense to try. I want to be with you, Saeran. It’s like there was a part of me that was missing, and now I’ve found it,” Yoosung said. He added in a whisper, “plus, I actually kinda like you.”

“What was that last part?”

“I like you, Saeran.” A touch of pride swelled at being able to say that so confidently.

“Don’t,” was the reply. And then Saeran hung up.

 

Yoosung liked him. He actually liked Saeran. Or so he claimed.

You just met. How can he possibly like you? It doesn’t make any sense. You’re not worth loving, after all.

But Saeyoung and Miyoung--

They pity you. They don’t love you. Not even Rika loved you, not really.

“Shut up,” Saeran whispered. He glared at the anxiety plushie Miyoung had gotten for him, grabbing it roughly. “You’re a liar, and a fraud. The things you say aren’t true.”

You can’t tell. You don’t know what others are thinking. People lie all the time. You know this.

“Yeah, but Yoosung’s not the type of person to lie to his friends.”

You’re not a friend. You’re pathetic. Saeran screamed and threw the plush across the room. He hadn’t really expected it to work, anyway. He wanted to stop this feeling in his chest. It was squeezing his heart, putting so much pressure on it. The pressure felt like it was building up in his throat, and the only way to relieve it was to scream. But that wasn’t going to help.

Miyoung came into his room again, concern etched on her face. She brushed her hair out of the way of her eyes, and stood on the other side of the room.

“Would you mind if I sat with you?”

“No,” Saeran muttered, shaking his head. Miyoung came over, perching on the edge of his bed. He turned around so that they were facing each other, and they just stared for a moment.

“Do you want a hug?”

“...yes.” He fell into his sister-in-law’s arms, pressed against her chest. She held him close. It felt nice, and helped to ease his anxiety a little bit. People who don’t care don’t feel as good as this. It was something he had discovered, that hugs feel better when they’re from people who care about you.

“I was with my soulmate earlier,” he said. It always happened like this, that he would just spill to her. Saeran could trust her like no one else, though there were still things he didn’t tell her.

“How did it go?”

“It went okay at first. We got ice cream, and talked for a while, and I kept thinking that I couldn’t drag him into my… this.” He gestured vaguely to himself. Miyoung stroked his hair.

“Is that the problem?”

“Kind of. I… I kissed him, and then I told him I couldn’t be in a relationship. I came home.”

“You got scared?”

“Yeah.” It sounded so pathetic to hear. He was scared of someone who didn’t even mean him harm.

“What were you afraid of?”

“I was afraid of him. Of hurting him. God, I can’t hurt him!” Saeran whispered.

“Saeran. You won’t hurt him as badly as you think, and if you do, then you can work through it together.”

“That’s what he said when he called.”

“He called you?”

“Yeah, a few minutes ago. He told me he likes me and I told him not to. Then I hung up and...”

“And panic,” Miyoung finished. Saeran nodded. He breathed deeply and left the hug. His plush was on the other side of the room, in a spot fairly familiar to it, at this point. It got thrown so often he half considered trying to use it for aiming practice. Saeran picked it up, putting it back in its spot near his computer. Miyoung had moved to the door.

“You gonna be okay for the night?”

“I’ll be fine. Thank you.”

“No problem.” They shared a smile, and then Miyoung left. What would it feel like, Saeran wondered, to share smiles with Yoosung? Then he shook his head of the thought. He wasn’t going to get into that. It would be better if Yoosung found someone else to spend time with.

 

The next day came along. Saeran was still trying to figure out what to do about the whole soulmate thing as he trudged into Jaehee’s coffee shop. The coffee shop that he had conveniently forgotten Yoosung works at at exactly this time every single day.

“Medium black,” he said, pulling out his card. Yoosung had brought it to him yesterday, he recalled. Saeran was going to have to get a new card. There was nothing else for it.

“Saeran, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you into that date. This is all my fault,” Yoosung said, handing him his coffee.

“How can you think that?” Saeran asked. “You’re perfect.” Why was he constantly digging these holes for himself?

“What? No I’m not. I mess up all the time. Like yesterday, I accidentally put cream and sugar in your coffee.”

“You did? I didn’t even notice.”

“I did. And, I broke one of Saeyoung’s figurines by accident. I keep avoiding my studies and playing LoLoL all night long.”

“Alright, I get it. You’re not perfect. But you’re not at fault for this. It’s my fault. I… I’m not ready.”

“Not ready?”

“Not ready to be with anyone.”

“Can you tell me when you are?” Yoosung seemed so hopeful. Saeran had to concede, at least a little. Normally Yoosung gave up when things got hard, but it seemed Saeran was as important as a game dungeon, so the barista wasn’t going to give up on him.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready,” Saeran said truthfully. He still felt so broken inside, so damaged and hurt.

“Why?”

“I have to get to class.” Saeran left. He did that a lot, it seemed. Walking out on his soulmate like that wasn’t something he was proud of. Just another mistake to add to the pile, he supposed.

Class came and went, and things were as slow this time as they were when he was waiting for his date yesterday. The only difference was the emotion. This time around, Saeran only felt empty. He tapped his fingers on his keyboard, not really paying attention, taking notes almost on autopilot, when he was able to take them at all.

After class, he sat in the library, trying to work on his game some more. He couldn’t concentrate long enough to do anything with it. He was still trying to bring his mind around to working on it when Yoosung appeared next to him. Saeran glanced over at his soulmate, and saw he wanted to say something.

“What?” he asked curtly. It felt good to see Yoosung. Odd, Saeran thought, that he could grow so attached to someone so quickly.

“I want to know why you don’t think you’re ready to date anyone,” Yoosung replied. There was a frown on his face. Saeran sighed, rubbing his face. This was not a conversation he ever wanted to have.

“Why do you think I wouldn’t want to date anyone?”

“Because you’re always keeping your distance from people, but I could feel it. I could feel that you’re surrounded by hate and guilt and loneliness.” This was beyond what Miyoung could do, but Saeran remembered Yoosung mentioning an almost paranormal ability to sense how people are feeling. He hadn’t realized at the time that it could be so accurate.

“You…”

“I know what you’re feeling, but I don’t know why. Saeran, you can tell me. Rely on me, please.”

It was only their second day knowing each other as soulmates. It was too soon. Saeran shook his head.

“Not yet,” he said.

“Then, will you at least go out on dates with me? Hang out with me, and let me get closer to you?”

“No!” Saeran shouted. Yoosung recoiled, causing Saeran to be flooded with even more guilt than he already felt.

“I can’t. I can’t hurt you.” Saeran shook his head, trying to clear it.

“How would you hurt me? It already hurts to see you trying to pull away. It must hurt even worse for you.” The violet eyed man placed his hand on Saeran’s shoulder, moving it in small, comforting circles. “Please. I want to know.”

“I’m sorry. Maybe one day.” Saeran packed his things quickly, but before he could push his laptop into his bag, Yoosung lunged at him. He cringed, trying to get away from what he was certain would happen next, but it didn’t happen like he thought it would.

Yoosung just hugged him.

There was no pain involved, it was just a hug. Yoosung had his arms around Saeran’s shoulders, holding him close, face buried in his neck.

“I don’t want you to have to hurt on your own, Saeran.” He could hear Yoosung crying in his voice, heard him sniffle, his breathing becoming choppy. Tears sprang to Saeran’s own eyes, threatening to spill over. He tried to keep them down, but they started flowing anyway. When was the last time he cried? He didn’t remember, anymore.

Yoosung pulled back from the hug to look at Saeran. His eyes widened at the tears falling down his soulmate’s cheeks, and he immediately moved to clear them away.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry. You don’t have to say anything until you’re ready. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Saeran said. He pushed Yoosung’s hands away, wiping his own tears off. Yoosung did the same, and they sat there for a moment, looking at each other.

“Would it be okay if I wanted to spend time with you?” Yoosung asked, concern etched on his face. He was so vibrant and beautiful. Saeran didn’t know if he wanted to stay out of a relationship. He tried to convince himself that he did.

“I think so. Maybe some Mario Kart at my place, or something?” Saeran asked. At least Saeyoung and Miyoung would provide a barrier in that case. Nothing weird would happen while those two were around. Yoosung smiled.

“Sounds good! What time should I come by?” Yoosung asked. Saeran thought for a moment. He had class until four, and both of them would need some time at home to get ready, right?

“Five. You can, uh… stay for dinner...” Miyoung lived by having dinner at 6:30. She said it was to make sure Saeyoung actually got food at a normal time every day.

“Okay! I’ll be there,” Yoosung said excitedly, standing up. “And Saeran.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m here for you, if you ever want to talk.” 

Saeran couldn’t help but smile as he replied with, “Thank you.”

 

It was weird, having Yoosung at his house without the blond being there for his brother, but it was happening. Saeran tried to get over the fact that Yoosung was here for him, both physically in this moment and emotionally forever. Was it forever? He didn’t know. He didn’t ask. It would have been weird, especially since they were in the middle of trying not to get beat by the computer karters. Why did he set the difficulty so high?

“Can’t. Lose,” Yoosung growled. Saeran focused his concentration automatically for the hundredth time. It was way too embarrassing to get beaten by the NPCs, according to Yoosung. He kind of understood. They were made to be beaten, to challenge the player. That meant trying your absolute hardest not to lose to AI that wasn’t even on the hardest difficulty.

The music changed, indicating the final lap. Saeran grinned. He was in first, with Yoosung right behind him. The computers were a ways behind them, too far to be able to do anything, as long as he kept moving forward. They rounded corner after corner, totally lost to the game. Finally, they were at the final stretch, and then –

“--BOO!” Saeyoung shouted. Yoosung shrieked and went flying off the track. Saeran lost control, regaining it after three computers went whizzing past and over the finish line. He set down his controller gently, turning to Saeyoung. The hacker was rolling on the floor, laughing hysterically.

“I, I can’t believe that worked so well!” he got out eventually.

“Saeyoung,” Saeran said, nice and sweet.

“Yeah? Why’s your voice like that? I thought you’d be mad.” Saeyoung kept laughing. Saeran chuckled darkly.

“I am,” he replied, then launched himself off the couch and onto his brother.

When Miyoung came out of the kitchen ten seconds later, she found Saeran trying to choke his brother on the carpet, Saeyoung failing to peel his brother’s hands off his throat, and Yoosung trying to get Saeran to let go. She rolled her eyes like she had when she heard Saeyoung shout “boo” earlier, but this time, she wasn’t laughing.

“Dinner time,” she said loudly. All three of them looked at her, small traces of fear in their eyes. She was pleased to see that Saeran didn’t look like he was about to keel over like he used to because of the memories of his mother. The three separated immediately.

“Did you know that Yoosung is here? And he didn’t even come to see me,” Saeyoung pouted.

“He did, but you were too wrapped up in your terrible coding to notice,” Saeran retorted.

“You seemed really busy though, so it’s not your fault,” added Yoosung. They entered the kitchen, then the dining room, where Miyoung was setting the table. Saeran noticed she had left one of the dishes on the kitchen counter, so he grabbed it on his way by. He set it down where there was room.

“Of course I knew. Saeran told me so that I could make enough for everyone. I had to double the sizes to make sure Yoosung got some, since you’re here, Saeyoung,” Miyoung teased. They laughed.

“Make fun all you want. At least I’m not terribly unhealthy.”

“Not anymore,” Yoosung muttered to Saeran. He held back a laugh. Saeyoung still had a stash of Honey Buddha Chips lying around somewhere, out of sight from Miyoung --- or so he thought. The truth was, all three of them ate from that “secret stash.”

“Let’s eat!” They tucked into their food, Yoosung thanking Miyoung for letting him stay for dinner, and cooking food for him. Saeyoung notably didn’t eat more than a couple plates, making a point of declaring his stomach at full capacity like it usually is at this point, thank you. Saeran dumped mashed potatoes onto his plate.

“You have to clear your plate, brother.”

“True. My mom always told me it’s rude to leave food on your plate.”

“Did she say that between lectures?”

“That was a lecture...” They laughed again. Saeran was glad that they were all having such a good time. It would have been awkward if Yoosung being at their house to hang with Saeran had been a problem.

“I just finished my work. Mind if I join you guys for a while?” Saeyoung asked.

“Join us with what?” asked Saeran.

“Playing Mario Kart.”

“Sure! The more the merrier,” Yoosung said. “Miyoung, do you want to play, too?”

“Hell yeah!”

Once dinner was over, they all went back to the living room to play. Miyoung sat on the outside, next to Saeyoung. Saeran ended up between him and Yoosung, which he was fine with. Overexposure to his brother could be lethal. Saeyoung and Miyoung chose Mario and Peach to play as, kissing when they did so. Yoosung chose Yoshi, and Saeran chose Shy Guy.

“Aww, you’re not gonna be my adorable twin brother in-game?”

“No.” They customized their carts, and got to driving. Saeran did pretty well, coming in second overall the first round they played. Yoosung hung his head in defeat at seventh as Saeyoung and Miyoung congratulated each other on taking first and third.

“You’ll beat them next time. You just need to get in the groove,” Saeran said.

“Right. I’ll beat them all, this time!” Yoosung focused, reoptimizing his cart. Saeran looked at the stat change, noting the increased speed and lack of handling. He wasn’t sure that it would help.

It did.

Yoosung tore across the track, flying around corners and recovering with wicked skill. He used items fully to his advantage, impressing Saeyoung as Yoshi passed Mario with ease.

“I didn’t know you had it in you,” he said.

“Neither did I,” Yoosung replied, taking first. Saeran came in second again, pushing Saeyoung and Miyoung into third and fourth. Saeran looked at the serious look on Yoosung’s face out of the corner of his eye. It was kind of scary to see him like that, but also kind of exciting.

On the second track, a computer had overtaken Saeran. He raced to get back to his place, pushing the gas button harder. Yoosung blazed past on a mushroom, and Saeran didn’t what came over him. He saw a green shell in the computer’s possession, and knocked both the computer and himself off the track just as the green shell went flying, throwing it into the abyss. He waited patiently as he was put back on the track, then went to get his spot back again. Saeran finished third, that time.

“You should’ve let it fly,” Saeyoung said, as they watched that part of the replay. Saeran just shrugged. He didn’t really know why he didn’t let it go. It wasn’t guaranteed to hit Yoosung, anyway. A better question was, why was he considering Yoosung? He was trying to stay out of a relationship! It wasn’t going to be good, no matter what the blond said he was willing to do. Saeran was just… a mess.

Saeran stopped thinking about that, and went back to the game for the last track, but his concentration was shot. He kept thinking about how he had made a decision for Yoosung’s benefit, and how his life had started to revolve around the other man. True enough, they were soulmates, but even so, it was a foreign feeling to consider someone else like this.

“You alright, Saeran?” Yoosung asked after the last race had ended. He came in third, overall, which wasn’t bad. Yoosung had made first, kicking Saeyoung off his post.

“Hmm? I’m fine. Why do you ask?” Was he really that obvious? His ability to hide his emotions was failing him.

“You just seem kind of out of it, is all.” Had Yoosung sensed his emotions, like he seemed to be able to? Or had he simply noticed a difference in how Saeran acted?

“Don’t worry. He gets like that sometimes. He doesn’t like being asked about it,” Saeyoung said.

“I don’t like you asking about it. You always push too hard for information.”

“It’s true. He tells me about whatever’s bothering him,” Miyoung added. Saeran gestured at her.

“See?”

“Do you not trust me? Is that it?” Saeyoung asked, pouting dramatically. Saeran rolled his eyes at the theatrics.

“No, it’s not that. You’re just annoying as fuck.” Saeyoung gasped.

“My own kid brother has sworn at me!”

“Tragedy!” Miyoung cried. They swooned with hands to forehead at the same time. Yoosung giggled adorably as Saeran facepalmed.

“This is why I never bring people to my house. If you weren’t already used to this, I wouldn’t have let you come over at all.”

“It is pretty crazy, sometimes. Maybe next time, I can invite you over to my place to play LoLoL,” Yoosung said. Saeran was about to reply, but Saeyoung interrupted him.

“Ooh~ Going over to each other’s houses? Is this a date? Saeran, should I be worried?” he asked, getting closer and more excited. Yoosung’s cheeks became dusted with red. He was so cute! These thoughts seriously needed to fuck off!

“It’s not like that,” Saeran said, rolling his eyes. “We’re friends. We can hang out if we want to.”

“Th-that’s right!” Yoosung added, trying to control himself.

“And besides,” Miyoung interjected from Saeyoung’s other side, “I’m pretty sure Saeran would only ever date his soulmate. If they’re not dating, then there’s nothing to worry about.” He was worried for a moment, he really was, but Miyoung was helping them out. He mouthed a “thank you” to her, getting a quick thumbs up in return.

“Good point. Saeran’s too much of a loner to hang out with people he doesn’t know,” Saeyoung said, nodding like he had just uncovered some tidbit of wisdom.

“And you’re too much of a loner to hang with anyone but your girlfriend.”

The night was pleasant, but it got late, and that meant Yoosung needed to go home. The last round of Mario Kart finished up, with everyone thoroughly sick of the game and more ready to kill each other than Saeran had been.

“It’s getting late, and we have classes tomorrow. I need to get home to bed,” Yoosung said, setting his controller down. He grabbed his jacket and stood up. Saeran stood with him.

“Do you need a ride? I can drive you home, if you need.”

“Sure. Thank you.”

“I can drive him,” Saeyoung said.

“You have work,” Saeran replied.

“And how do you know I have work?” Saeran looked at him.

“Alright, alright, you have a point. I have work. I’ll see you around, Yoosung.” Saeyoung retreated to his computer room, leaving Miyoung, Saeran, and Yoosung in the living room.

“So Yoosung’s your soulmate, huh?” Miyoung asked, a grin on her face.

“Yeah, we’re soulmates. He didn’t say anything?” Yoosung asked.

“Saeran’s… a bit shy about this stuff.” Saeran crossed his arms and looked away angrily.

“I hope he opens up to me, one day,” he heard Yoosung say. Saeran turned back to him and met his eyes. There wasn’t any hesitation in them, just a lovely violet and a lot of confidence. There was also something else that Saeran couldn’t quite place.

“That would be wonderful,” Miyoung said. “Anyway, you should get going.” She headed off to Saeyoung, presumably to have some fun with him before Saeran returned.

“Right!” The two of them headed out to Saeran’s car, a sleek black model with tinted windows. He hardly ever drove it, since school was so easy to reach, and that was the only place he went aside from the coffee shop on the way.

“You had a good time, right? Saeyoung wasn’t too annoying?” Saeran asked, opening the car door for Yoosung.

“No, it was good. I enjoyed hanging out with you,” Yoosung said, climbing in. He buckled himself into the seat, settling back comfortably. Saeran circled around, got in, and started the car.

“That’s good.” They drove in silence for a bit, then Yoosung started talking about his day, and how he had some homework he needed to do, but his guild needed him at the same time. Saeran told him to get some work done between rounds. It would go by faster. He didn’t say that that was how he managed to deal with assignments. They chatted more, and Saeran found himself honestly enjoying the time he spent with Yoosung. It was strange to him, that someone could be so close so soon, but he didn’t mind it. Life got a bit lonely with just him, his brother, and his sister-in-law.

They reached Yoosung’s apartment building, some ten and a half kilometers later. He remembered Saeyoung telling him exactly how far the distance was, but he didn’t remember the rest of it. Yoosung hopped out of the car.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Take care of yourself!”

“You too,” Saeran said. Then Yoosung walked into the building, disappearing into its hallways and rooms. He didn’t know which apartment was Yoosung’s exactly. He just knew that it was somewhere higher than the first floor.

He pulled out and drove home, feeling an empty space beside him. The silence was deafening to him, and the car seemed cold. As soon as he got home, Saeran ran inside, wanting to be somewhere that was supposed to be quiet: his room. He walked into its familiarity, breathing deeply.

“Yoosung, I don’t think we should be together,” he whispered to himself, trying to convince himself of that. There was too much in his past for Yoosung, the other was too innocent and fragile. Saeran shook his head, changed for bed and brushed his teeth, then turned his light on and alarm on.

I wish I could be with you, he thought. Then he drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter is up, third chapter is in the works! Please leave a comment if there was anything in particular you liked, or made you react, or if there's something you've noticed that I can improve on. Thank you! :D:D:D


	3. Color in a Decision

Saeran slammed his hand onto his alarm. He glared at it, but he could feel a difference in his glare. He took a moment to try and pinpoint that difference, without success. So, he got up and headed to the bathroom, like he did every morning. He remembered Yoosung mentioning a favorite song last night, one from America that had his name in the title. He remembered the tune, too, and started humming it.

He was still humming it when he stepped out of the shower and dried off, and when he was applying eyeliner. It was odd, but Saeran felt lighter that day. He tried to figure out why, which brought up the question of what he was going to do about dating Yoosung. He considered cutting off all communication with Yoosung, even down to never going to Jaehee’s coffee shop again, but that made him feel horrible. He then considered taking Yoosung out to dinner, but that made his heart skip a beat and get all fuzzy, which he wasn’t sure was a good thing. It wasn’t bad like avoiding those violet eyes would be bad, but the tingling sensation was foreign.

Yoosung’s eyes… they were like deep pools, filled with innocence and emotion, and Saeran considered cursing his mind for conjuring this sappy romantic bullshit, but he didn’t bother. He paid attention to what his emotions were telling him, which was that Yoosung was good for him. They were soulmates, right? That made sense. Was there any use in fighting his emotions, anymore?

It was the third day since Saeran had interacted with Yoosung that first time. It had only been three days, but the blond haired boy had had an enormous effect on him. Saeran breathed deeply, the tune to that song still stuck in his head. He didn’t remember the lyrics at all. He didn’t really speak much English.

He kinda wanted to learn it.

Saeran left the bathroom, heading out to class. Miyoung waved him off, and he waved back. He walked down the street, thinking of his coffee, and of Yoosung. Saeran sighed, feeling like Yoosung would never leave his thoughts. He didn’t know if that was a bad thing or not. He hummed all the way to the shop, entering it more cheerily than he had before.

It was bugging the rational part of him that he was so happy-go-lucky this morning.

“Good morning, Saeran. Oh! That’s--”

“The song you showed me last night. Yeah. It’s still stuck in my head.” Saeran smirked. Yoosung smiled, clearly happy.

“It’s good, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Medium with cream.” He didn’t know why he changed his order. This morning was going to bug him for a while if he kept changing things on himself. Yoosung just giggled.

“Coming right up! You seem really happy this morning,” the barista said, as Saeran ran his card.

“Yeah. I don’t know why.”

“If you figure it out, tell me, okay?” Yoosung handed him his receipt.

“I’ll do that.”

“Hey, pretty boy,” said a strange voice. Saeran turned around from where he had moved to to stay out of the way. In front of him was a strange man, fairly average looking and unremarkable.

“H-hello, sir, how may I help you, today?” Yoosung asked. He plastered a smile on his face. It was so obviously fake, even Saeran could tell, with all of his emotional experience.

“Can I get a mocha frappe?”

“Certainly. I’ll get that for you right away,” Yoosung said, handing Saeran his coffee before working on the stranger’s order. Saeran decided to stick around for a bit.

“How about I get you something to drink, since you’re so good-looking,” the stranger said, leaning on the counter. Yoosung took a deep breath. Saeran tensed, ready to beat the shit out of this guy.

“I’m sorry, sir. I can’t accept anything but payment for the drinks I make,” Yoosung said, but the stranger wasn’t getting the hint.

“What else can you do with those hands?” That did it.

“It’s not what he can do with his hands, it’s what he can do with his mouth that I’d be concerned with,” Saeran said. “He can call for his boss and have you permanently banned from the store. He can scream and cause a scene that’ll get you in trouble with everyone here. Hell, he could even bite you and draw blood. But it’s not his hands or his mouth you should be worried about. There’s something else.” His glare was back full force, and Saeran relished in the feeling of it.

“What’s that?” the stranger asked. Saeran got right in his face instantly, staring the man down with a sociopathic vengeance.

“Me. Now get out.” He did. The stranger left hurriedly, and Saeran grabbed his drink, intending to go to class. Before he could, though, Zen wandered in from the apartment he lived in with Jaehee upstairs. His hair was silver, and his eyes were red. Saeran had seen many people, most with brown hair and eyes. Even Yoosung, he knew, had once had brown hair. To see that particular color combination was… strange.

“Jae~! Where are you?” Zen asked the shop. Yoosung breathed in and out, trying not to cry.

“Good morning, Zen,” he said.

“Morning, Yoosung. How’s work?”

“It’s pretty good. Saeran just saved me from a creep.”

“A creep, eh? What happened. You didn’t kill the guy, did you?” Zen asked, eyes wide.

“There would still be a body here, if I had,” Saeran retorted. He smirked and rolled his eyes to show he was joking around. Zen laughed.

Thank God that worked.

“And how are you this morning, Saeran?”

“I’m fine. Just getting coffee.”

“’Just getting coffee,’ he says. You would be long gone by now if that was all you were doing,” Zen said, leaning toward Saeran and grinning wickedly. Saeran raised an eyebrow. He knew what Zen was getting at. The question was, then, how did he know about Yoosung and himself being soulmates?

Then he remembered Yoosung being surprised about his not having told either Saeyoung or Miyoung about exactly that. Yoosung must have been so excited by it all that he immediately told Jaehee and Zen.

“Yoosung tells me that you’ve been uncertain about pursuing a relationship, but it seems that that’s starting to break down, eh?”

“I don’t know,” Saeran said. He shrugged nonchalantly, wishing that the conversation were over.

“Well, don’t get too upset if he dodges you for a while, Yoosung. Jaehee locked herself in the bathroom the first time we saw eye to eye. Then she dodged my calls and texts for a week before telling me that we couldn’t date. Now look at us!”

“Do you ever shut up about yourself?” Saeran asked. Yoosung laughed.

“Hey! I don’t talk about myself that much!”

“Yes you do,” Yoosung said between chuckles. Zen huffed.

“What do you know? You’re just a kid.”

“Did you call for me?” Jaehee asked, coming up from behind Zen. She was wiping her hands, the scent of coffee hanging around her. Saeran admired how well her golden brown eyes complimented her happy attitude.

“I was wondering if you’d made breakfast,” Zen said, rubbing the back of his head.

“It’s on the table out back. Eat as much as you want. You have a meeting with the director today, after all.”

“That’s right, I’d almost forgotten. Thank you, love.” They kissed chastely. Yoosung aww’d. Saeran turned his face away. He was still new to public affection. He couldn’t help but remember how Yoosung’s lips had felt on his.

“You’re welcome. Good luck,” Jaehee said, smiling. Saeran could still see small lines from when she had been stressed by her job with Jumin, but they were long faded, merely memories. It had been more than a year since she had quit and opened this shop. Saeran was glad she had. Jaehee was like a mother to him, a much better mother than his own had been.

“Saeran, how are you today? Have you eaten?”

“I’m fine. I was about to go get some breakfast before class. I need to get going,” Saeran said. He ate dinner regularly, but his stomach protested at the thought of anything more than coffee in the morning. Vehemently. He smiled, grabbed his coffee, and left.

“Have a good day! I’ll see you later,” Yoosung called.

“See you!” Saeran left with a smile on his face. It was a good day, so far. He had woken up happy, gotten to see Yoosung, got to defend Yoosung, and he had a pleasant interaction without fucking it up.

It was just too bad that there was a quiz that day that he’d forgotten to study for. He heard the other students whispering about it, realized that, in all the excitement the past couple days, he had forgotten to study, and promptly sat down for a truly last-minute cram session on the language they’d been learning. Thankfully, he had done some experimenting with it beforehand.

The quiz, as it turned out, was fairly easy. Even with his barely being able to pay attention last class, his cram session had paid off in the form of a nearly perfect test. He would have to show Yoosung later.

Saeran was beginning to admit to himself that Yoosung made him happy.

“Can I talk to you for a minute, Saeran?” asked his professor once class had ended. Saeran looked at the older man, dressed in brown as he always was.

“Yeah. What did you want to talk about?”

“I wanted to talk to you about your quiz score today.” Saeran blinked uncomprehendingly.

“What about it?”

“I’m worried that you cheated. Cheating is absolutely not tolerated in this university.”

“I know, sir. I wouldn’t cheat, especially for a course this easy.” He hadn’t meant to say that out loud. His professor gave him a hard glare, daring him to say something stupid again. Saeran figured he would, soon.

“Easy? You think this course is easy? I’ve had students much smarter than you take this course and nearly fail. You want to prove that it’s so easy? Then use all the coding techniques we’ve learned so far to create a new program for me.”

“All of them!? Half of them aren’t even compatible! That’s impossible!”

“Well, then, I suggest you get to work. You have until the end of the semester. Good luck.”

“Do you have something against me, Professor?” Saeran asked. He was angry with how this was turning out. He had gotten that score fairly, why was he being punished?

“No, I don’t,” his professor said, his tone indicating a ‘but.’

“But…?”

“But, I do have a problem with your brother. Even if you change your appearance to look nothing like him, the two of you are still related. You’ve probably already pulled multiple pranks across the university.”

“I am not like my brother. I changed my appearance so people wouldn’t get us confused, but I see it’s still happening. I came here to get a degree in what I’m good at. I won’t just risk that.”

“Prove it to me. Show me how much you want this. Make that program.” Saeran sighed. He obviously wasn’t going to get out of this assignment.

“Any particular use you want from it?”

“No. Just make something.”

“...Got it...” Saeran left the room, confused as to what exactly he was supposed to do. He wandered across campus to the library, and then sat down at his usual table. He pulled out his laptop, wondering where he was even supposed to start with this impossible assignment.

Get organized, he thought. He breathed deeply, then pulled up examples of each coding type. He looked for similarities, finding a few, but not enough.

“What are you working on?” Yoosung asked, coming up behind him.

“An impossible coding assignment.”

“Really? What makes it so hard?” Saeran looked for malice in Yoosung’s eyes, but there was just genuine curiosity.

“The coding styles are all different. They don’t like to work together in a single program, but that’s what my assignment is.”

“Seriously!? Why do you have this assignment? Does the professor have a vendetta against you?”

“No, but he has one against Saeyoung.”

“Saeyoung? He’s holding your brother over you?”

“Yeah.”

“But you’re completely different people! You’re brilliant, and serious, with a sharp sense of humor that always makes me laugh. Saeyoung is…”

“Saeyoung jokes around too much, and that got him in trouble during college. Now I’m paying the price for it.”

“You should tell him this is happening. Maybe he can help you.”

“Why would I want his help?”

“Because...” Yoosung paused, thinking for a moment. “Because he knows how to code, too. And it’s his fault this is happening. He should be the one doing this, not you.” Now there was worry all over Yoosung’s face, and Saeran could see tears starting to form. Why did this kid cry so much?

“Sure. As soon as I get home, I’ll get him to do this, instead.”

“Yay!” They talked for awhile, just going back and forth about interests. It was nice. Saeran discovered that Yoosung basically only played LoLoL. He apologized for not being more interesting. Saeran expressed an interest in the things that happened in LoLoL.

“If you’re really interested, then maybe you can come over to my dorm, sometime. You already know where it is,” Yoosung said. He looked excited. Saeran couldn’t help but get excited, too.

“That sounds nice. I’d like that. Maybe Saturday?”

“Yeah!” It was Wednesday, at the time. Saeran pulled up his schedule to put the time in.

“There. It’s time for me to get to class. I’ll see you later.”

“See you!”

Class came and went. Saeran paid attention, taking notes, asking questions. At the end, he left class quickly, determined not to miss the next thing on his agenda: a therapist appointment.

He’d been going since about two months into living with his brother and sister-in-law. It was his therapist who helped him with handling his emotions, fears, and mental illnesses. His therapist had given him the anxiety plushie, and recommended going to college. Saeran hurried to his appointment, excited to talk about his color discovery. He ran home to his car, pulling it out without even stopping inside. He dumped his bag onto the passenger seat, and drove off quickly.

“So how was your week, Saeran?” asked his therapist. He had his pen poised at the ready, prepared to write down another week of negativity with a couple positive notes.

“It was good. Classes are boring. I have to code a program using multiple languages. It’s like trying to shove Korean and English together with some German shoehorned in,” Saeran said.

“I see. Do you feel overwhelmed by this?”

“No. I’ve already got a plan for it.”

“Excellent. I’m glad to see that you’re keeping up with your school work. Has anything else interesting happened?”

“Yeah, I actually wanted to talk to you about this. I… met my soulmate.”

“Your soulmate? That’s good.”

“Yeah. I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship,” Saeran said, his doubts rising to the surface. It would be so easy to hurt him, to cause irreparable pain, to drag him down. It was hard enough on his own, he couldn’t do that to someone else.

“And why is that?” 

“Because of my mental illness. The anxiety, and depression, and the PTSD. They’re still there, you know? And I know you said that they’ll never go away, but I don’t...”

“You don’t want to hurt your soulmate?”

“Yeah.”

“Saeran, you know how to handle your symptoms and illnesses so that you can function in every day life. You’re one of the better patients I’ve had,” his therapist said, smiling. “Why don’t you tell me about your soulmate?”

“He’s kind, and thoughtful. He likes to help other people when he can. He told me that he chose his major to help his cousin, since her dog died. He’s going to be a vet. Uh, he plays LoLoL a lot. I’m going over to his house this weekend to play with him. But, he’s also extremely innocent and pure. I don’t want to corrupt him.”

“I see. Well, the decision to pursue a relationship is ultimately yours to make, but if you want my advice, I say take the chance.”

“Thank you. There is more, if you want to hear it.”

“Of course.” So Saeran told his therapist about their ice cream outing, about how his doubts had started and how they were dissolving. He talked about how Yoosung was opening him up so quickly, finally giving a name.

“Does it scare you?”

“A bit. I’ve never known someone who’s been able to attach themselves so quickly.”

“You have been opening up more to your friends.”

“Yeah. Do you think… do you really think I can date him?”

“I do. I think it’ll be a very good experience for you to learn how to care for another person. It may end up helping you with caring for yourself.”

“I see. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. That’s all of our time for today. It’s always a pleasure talking with you, Saeran.”

“Yeah. I feel like I can trust you,” Saeran said. It had been over a year since he was rescued by his brother. He was still learning to trust, but it was easy now. He could trust Saeyoung and his friends. He could trust Miyoung. He could trust Yoosung.

He just couldn’t trust them with himself so easily.

Miyoung and his therapist had managed to get him to trust them with explanations of symptoms and helped him work through them. He had yet to tell anyone about his past. Saeyoung knew part of it, but not everything. Saeran had no inclination to tell him.

Saeran left his therapist’s office, heading home and feeling better.

“How did it go?” Miyoung asked, when he got home.

“It went well,” Saeran said. Before he made it to his room, he remembered that he needed to get his brother to take care of that assignment. He knocked on the door.

“Saeyoung!” he called.

“Saeran, what’s up?” Saeyoung asked, opening the door.

“I got an assignment at school and I need your help with it,” Saeran said. His brother gasped and grinned.

“You need my help? I’m so honored!” Saeran rolled his eyes. The redheaded twin was always so dramatic at the weirdest times.

“Yeah. I have to mix some coding languages together for a single program.”

“That’s really hard. What is your professor doing?”

“Punishing you through me. So, I’ve decided to push this punishment to the right person. It doesn’t matter what it does, it just has to use multiple languages. Have fun.”

“What? Wait, your professor. Is he Kyungsook Kim?”

“Yes. What did you do to him?” Saeyoung just laughed.

“Oh, man! I hacked his social media accounts and messed with them. Then I posted hilarious pictures of him all over the internet.”

“He’s getting after me for that, now.”

“Sorry you have to deal with that. I’ll talk to him,” Saeyoung said.

“Just make sure that you don’t make him angrier,” Saeran said, leaving to go to his room.

“Alright.”

Once Saeran was in his room, he sat down to his laptop, also black, and started coding his game again, focusing less on the already numerous colors and making sure the mechanics worked without breaking. He didn’t really have a purpose in making it, it was just fun. Even so, Yoosung liked games, so maybe he could let him play, once it was done.

Once he figured out the whole dating thing and they were together would be more accurate. Saeran felt his chest tighten and started breathing exercises. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. He repeated it several times, until his chest started feeling normal again.

Saeran worked on his class assignments until dinner. Miyoung had made kimchi fried rice for them, and Saeyoung was already trying to dig in.

“You won’t even wait for your own brother? I thought you loved me,” Saeran said playfully. He smiled to let Saeyoung know he was joking.

“I was making sure you’d get some. Miyoung can be a real pig, sometimes.”

“Hey! Besides, if I’m a pig, then you must be a wild boar.” Saeyoung gasped, clutching his heart. Saeran laughed. It was nice to be around his family. He wondered what Yoosung was up to, if he was eating dinner, too.

The food was red and brown at the same time, from what Saeran could tell. He observed it surreptitiously, trying not to let his brother know he could see color. Little bits of green and red poked through. It was fairly plain, but it still tasted good. It almost seemed to taste better with the color. He ate it excitedly.

“Does it taste good?” Miyoung asked, watching him. Saeran realized that he was eating with a bit too much gusto, and adjusted his pace.

“Yeah, it’s good.”

“I’m glad you like it. I should make this more often.”

“Yes, please! My baby’s cooking is the best in the world!” Saeyoung declared. They ate until the food was gone, then Miyoung took their plates and went to wash them. Saeyoung went to help her.

Saeran went back to his room, sitting down to his assignments again, but didn’t feel like focusing so soon after dinner. He looked around him, seeing the grays and dull colors. He wanted to change how his room looked, but he didn’t know what he wanted. Maybe some other time, after he had some idea of what he liked.

His phone started ringing. Saeran looked at the caller I.D. to see Yoosung’s name. He smiled instantly, then tried to fight it down. Even if he was going to try the whole dating thing, he didn’t want to just jump in full force. That would be awkward. He answered the call.

“Hey, Yoosung,” Saeran said.

“Hey! How are you?”

“I’m fine. You?”

“I’m fine. Is it okay that I called you? If you’re busy, I can hang up.”

“No, it’s okay. I was just working on homework, but I can’t focus right now.”

“Oh. Yeah, I need to get my homework done, too. I don’t know why, but I suddenly feel motivated to get my work done and turn my life around! Maybe...” Yoosung’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Maybe it’s because I met you?” Then it picked up again as he laughed. “Sorry. But, I really am glad that I met you. I was convinced that I was going to die alone with nothing but LoLoL for the rest of my days.”

“I’m glad that I met you, too. I was worried that I would end up just working with Saeyoung and his toys for the rest of my life. It would have been a horrible fate,” Saeran said, chuckling.

“Oh, my god! So horrible! ‘Hey, Saeran, I have an idea for a toy! It’s a flamethrower!’” Yoosung said, mimicking Saeyoung. Saeran laughed.

“’No, Saeyoung, that’s dangerous!’” Saeran added.

“You have a nice laugh,” Yoosung said.

“Thanks. Yours is nice, too. I like it a lot.”

“A-a lot? Um… thank you.” Saeran could practically hear Yoosung blushing as he stammered. The gray-hair smiled. It made him happy to be able to make Yoosung react like that.

Part of him still wanted to fight the idea of being with Yoosung as a romantic couple. Saeran swallowed, trying unsuccessfully to swallow that small part.

“You’re welcome. So, how have you been doing with LoLoL?”

“I’ve been doing great! Right now, I’m number two on the Shooting Star server, and a lot of people ask for my help all the time! It’s hard to try and help them all, so lately, I’ve been putting newbies together to support each other. Apparently, a lot of them end up being really good friends.”

“That sounds amazing. You’re doing good work, Yoosung.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah. It’s really admirable. Do you even gain anything from helping them?”

“Well, it makes me feel good inside.”

“Good?”

“Yeah, like a warm fuzziness that fills you up.”

“Is that what that is?”

“Yeah. Why, have you not felt it before?”

“Not really. I did this morning, though.”

“Really? What happened?” Yoosung asked. He was excited to hear. Saeran figured it was because he was opening up to the violet eyed man. Thinking of those eyes being happy because of him made that fuzzy feeling come back to Saeran’s chest.

“I was… um...” Why was this so hard? He knew that Yoosung was into him. Whether that was soulmate attraction or actual feelings was unclear, but it would make him happy to know that Saeran felt good just thinking about him.

Saeran should just say it. But it was so nerve wracking.

“What is it?”

“I was… thinking about you,” he said finally, his voice getting soft.

“You were?” Yoosung’s voice had gotten soft, too.

“Yeah.”

“That makes me really happy. Fuzziness at maximum!” Saeran could feel himself getting happier because of Yoosung being happy. It was a weird cause and effect, but he liked it.

“Ah, but I should get back to my homework now,” Yoosung said. “I’ll talk to you more tomorrow. Okay?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Saeran started humming that song again as he got back to his homework.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoy writing for you guys! Every comment puts a smile on my face :D:D:D thank you all so much~!


	4. Color in a Game

Saturday arrived. Saeran got himself ready to go over to Yoosung’s place, trying really hard to get his eyeliner on properly. He looked at the pink tips of his hair, wondering what to do about them, then noticed bright red in his roots.

His hair was growing out again. He considered bleaching it again, but now that he could actually see color, he kind of wanted to know what his hair would look like in its natural state.

Saeran pulled his shoes on, grabbing his wallet and phone, and stuffed them in his pockets. He had talked more with Yoosung about when exactly they should get together, and Yoosung had told him that he would be awake before ten, so Saeran could come over then.

It was about nine, so he figured it was as good a time as any to leave, especially since traffic tended to be bad around this time, and there were ten and a half kilometers to cover. Plus, if the fact that he had had to wear headphones for half the night was any indication, neither his brother nor sister-in-law were in any shape to be getting out of bed for awhile. Saeran left a note to let them know he was out and had his phone, then walked out the door.

He got into his car, silently marveling at the fact that his brother had put plants in the garage. It was a weird place for such decoration, but the green complimented the silvery gray walls. Putting the car into gear, Saeran glided out and into the midmorning, joining traffic after about ten minutes of waiting. He had asked Yoosung about the name of the song from before, and added Shooting Star to his playlist.

Of course Yoosung loved a song that basically shared his name.

It took the better part of the hour just to get within sight of Yoosung’s place. Saeran could see his window from the street. The blind was open, letting him see just a tiny bit of the inside. He watched Yoosung flitting around inside, passing the window several times. He willed Yoosung to look out and see his car, just for fun. Traffic moved along, bringing Saeran closer to the parking lot just outside the apartment complex.

Yoosung looked out, Saeran saw. He was gazing toward the street, looking for something. When his eyes lit upon Saeran’s car, they got wide and excited, then Yoosung disappeared from the window. Even from the other side of the street, Saeran could tell that the blond was practically jumping up and down. He smirked. Yoosung had way too much energy all the time.

He wondered briefly if there was a limit to how much energy Yoosung had.

He removed that thought because they weren’t even dating yet, and cursed his brother for getting intimate last night and bringing such ideas forth.

Saeran pulled into the parking lot, getting out of his car just as Yoosung came bursting through the front entrance. His blue jean jacket flapped in the breeze, obscuring the pins on his right side. Saeran knew what they were, regardless. A yellow smiley face pin was on top, then a red star, and a green pin that said, “Born The LOLLOL.” He thought it was cute, how attached Yoosung was to the game.

“Saeran! You’re here! Was traffic bad?” Yoosung asked. He was breathing fairly heavily. Had he run all the way from his apartment?

“A bit. Am I late?” Saeran asked.

“No, not at all. You’re right on time. Come on.” Yoosung led the way inside, Saeran following closely. He didn’t really know the interior layout of the building.

“I saw your car coming in and got super excited, so I came down to greet you,” Yoosung continued. He was smiling widely, happy and infectious. Saeran couldn’t help smiling, too, as he looked around.

The main hall of the building was fairly plain. There was beige on the walls (a color Saeran had learned of in the last couple days during his crash course in color theory), dirty white tiles on the floor, and a couple green plants in the corners. The door to the elevator was red. He didn’t know why it was specifically red, but it was a dark shade that worked with the décor.

A large square of gray doors stood in one beige wall, which Yoosung approached. Saeran realized that they were mailboxes. He noted that Yoosung lived in apartment 18-04. Once Yoosung had gotten his mail, they went to the elevator. Saeran entered first and punched in floor 18.

“How did you know I live on floor 18!?” Yoosung asked, surprised.

“Apartments are organized by floor and then room, right? Your mailbox said 18 first,” Saeran said, shrugging.

“Oh, hahaha. Guess that makes it easier, huh?”

“Yeah, it does. How are you so happy all the time?” He hadn’t meant to say that, but Yoosung was seriously considering the question.

“Hmm. I don’t know,” he said. Then he looked at the gray-hair, and smiled. “You make me happy, Saeran. I like being around you.” A little bit of red dusted his cheeks. Saeran recoiled, not expecting Yoosung to say that.

“You shouldn’t say things like that. Who knows what might happen?” Saeran muttered, hiding his face. He could feel heat rise to his own cheeks.

“Saeran… are you blushing?” Yoosung asked.

“No.”

“You are! You’re totally blushing! Let me see, let me see!” Yoosung ducked around Saeran, trying to see his face. Saeran turned away.

“No way!”

“Come on~ One peek?”

“No!” They spent the rest of the elevator ride with Yoosung constantly running in circles as Saeran pivoted to hide his face. Yoosung grabbed his shirt, trying to pull him around. Saeran tried to push him off. The doors opened, and they both looked up to get out, only to be confronted by the sight of a very confused man.

“Oh… hello Mr. Seong. How are you --- whoa!” Yoosung felt himself get shoved forward by Saeran.

“This is my friend, Saeran. I’ll see you later!” Saeran turned his face away, burning with embarrassment as Mr. Seong laughed.

“I’m doing well, Yoosung. I’ll see you again.” They heard him say something about young people being so full of energy, but Saeran wasn’t really paying attention as he pushed Yoosung toward the fourth apartment door. They were outside on a balcony connecting the apartments.

“Hang on, I need to get my key to unlock the door,” Yoosung said. Saeran let go of him. “Are you okay? That was pretty embarrassing.”

“I’m fine. Let’s just get inside before anyone else sees us.”

“Okay!” Yoosung unlocked his front door, then opened it to reveal the inside. Right off the bat, Saeran could see his bed, neatly made and baby blue. A wood desk sat to the right of it, displaying a monitor, yellow speakers, and a pair of yellow headphones. The wall was yellow, too, as was a star-shaped rug.

This kid was seriously obsessed with stars. Saeran had an idea for his birthday.

A bookshelf sat between the bed and the desk, with red doors and green and blue books. Green bound books sat near the ceiling above the computer, which was completely black. It looked powerful from the outside. Saeran wondered what it was equipped with.

“The bathroom is there,” Yoosung said, pointing to a door on one side. Saeran nodded. “And that’s the kitchen.” The kitchen didn’t have a door, it was just open on one side. Saeran could see a silver fridge, black stove, and a white sink among the gray counter top and wood brown cabinets.

Yoosung pulled out his chair, which was green, but not green like the plants. It was a softer green. Saeran liked it.

“You can sit here,” Yoosung said.

“It’s your chair. You should sit there,” Saeran replied, balking.

“You’re the guest. Besides, you’re the one who’s gonna be playing.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother.”

“It’s not a bother at all. Please, sit. I’ll get us some snacks.” Yoosung slipped past Saeran to go to the kitchen. Saeran gingerly sat down in the nice green chair. Green, he decided, was a good color for Yoosung. So was blue. He supposed it was good that those two colors were already being worn by the blond.

He looked for the mouse and keyboard, realizing that they rolled out from the desk. He pulled on the drawer, rolling it toward him, and revealed the controlling tech.

He berated himself for even thinking of the term, “controlling tech.” After a quick facepalm, he glared at the wall to glare at himself and found that Yoosung had put up a big star sticker.

Yoosung returned from the kitchen with a couple bags of Lais chips. He set one in Saeran’s lap, then opened the other one and sat down on the corner of his little bookshelf.

“Is that comfortable?” Saeran asked, looking at the corner.

“Yeah, actually. It is pretty comfy. Anyway, LoLoL is on my taskbar. You can see the icon there.” LoLoL was pretty much the only thing on his taskbar, aside from his browser and files access. Saeran noted that Yoosung used Internet Explorer for browsing, as far as he could tell.

“You use IE?”

“Yeah, just for shopping. I keep it there so I can get new computer parts. Most of the time, I just use Firefox.”

“I use Chrome, myself.”

“Oh, cool!” Saeran opened LoLoL, watching as the screen ran through an opening camera roll, showing some scenery like they were birds. It tilted suddenly toward the sky, and League of Loneliness of Life was spelled out in front of him. He stifled a laugh at the name.

“That was cool,” he said, covering up any sounds he may have made.

“Isn’t it? This whole game has really good graphics. Oh, I need to put my password in.” Yoosung leaned over to type on the keyboard, wrapping an arm around Saeran’s neck to reach the other side. He was really close. Like, really, really close. Saeran held as still as possibly, not used to suddenly being in such close proximity to another person, and especially not so close to someone he liked.

He liked Yoosung. That was a weird revelation.

It was also weird that Yoosung was wrapped around him, but at least that made sense for the moment. The younger man typed quickly. Saeran closed his eyes so he didn’t see the password.

“Alright, we’re in,” Yoosung said, moving away. “It’s an MMORPG, so you should make a new character.” He pointed to a button that said, ‘Create Character.’ Saeran clicked it, and was brought to a new screen. There were a fair number of races to choose from. Saeran decided to pick Undead, after reading through all of the descriptions.

“I haven’t seen many players use that race, so I don’t know a whole lot about it, but apparently they’re super hard to play.”

“It seems like a good fit for me,” Saeran said. He moved onto choosing his race, quickly finding and picking Assassin. He liked the idea of being dead and sneak attacking the living. It seemed rather fitting, too.

“There. Made my character.”

“Now you get to play with how it looks.”

“How it looks?”

“Yeah. There are all sorts of customization options. See?” Yoosung pointed to a number of sliders and buttons, all offering different choices in how the character would look. Saeran’s jaw dropped. How was he supposed to make a character with all these choices?

“It’s a lot, I know. Take it one bit at a time, and I think you’ll find it’s not actually all that bad. First is body type...” With Yoosung’s help (and regardless of personal space invasion), Saeran made an agile-looking assassin. He smiled at the results and the silver hair that blazed from the top of the darkly colored zombie.

“Nice! Now you can hit ‘create’.” Saeran did so, and when he was able to move around, he did so, getting a feel for how the gameplay worked. WADS was still for moving around, at least. He pressed buttons and opened option menus. Yoosung sat silently as he explored the controls.

“Alright, what do I do?”

“This game is all about dungeons and arenas, and you mostly pick up quests for that. There’s some outside world-building, too. I can ask one of my guildies to take you into a match so you can get some practice.”

“That would be helpful.” Saeran looked around the virtual world, and saw someone with an exclamation point over their head.

“That’s a questgiver. First thing you have to do is get used to controlling an entire team. It’s the MOBA part of the game.”

“MOBA?”

“Battle arena stuff. One-on-one, but you have teams of heroes you control.”

“Oh. Weird.”

“Yeah. The guys who made this game said they wanted something that could unite all sorts of gamers, so they have world quests, dungeons, arenas,” Yoosung said.

“Cool. And a big part of this is the arenas?”

“Yep. There are three arena maps you can play on. I usually play on those, but I do a lot of dungeons, too.”

“That’s really neat,” Saeran said. He accepted the quest, which told him to kill some monsters. He went and did so, getting the hang of the battle system.

“It’s easier than I thought it would be. I can see why you like it so much.”

“I’m glad you like it. We can play it together, sometime. I-if you want, anyway,” Yoosung said.

“That sounds good. I should probably get my own account, first.”

“Yeah! It’s a free game, too. Though, some people buy stuff with real money for it.”

“Do you?”

“No. I don’t have the money to do so.”

“Oh.” Saeran kept going for a bit longer, then stopped for a moment. He stared at the screen and the scenery around him. It was pretty, he supposed, but it also wasn’t as fun as it could be. Yoosung reached over for a moment to take the mouse.

“There’s a really beautiful place nearby. After we met, and I started seeing color, I went to this ridge, because a lot of people who’d found their soulmates said it was the most beautiful place in the game.” He led Saeran’s character to it.

It was a cliff. The trees were a vibrant green, and the grass swayed in the fake wind. Flowers of all different colors --- reds and blues, purples, yellows, oranges --- covered the open space between the trees and an ocean below. Saeran looked out over the cliff, imagining it as if he were really there. He could almost feel the wind as he closed his eyes briefly. Yoosung came up next to him, rested his head on Saeran’s shoulder. They looked at the blue sky and ocean.

“It really is beautiful.”

“I like it most at sunset. We should come here together, someday.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Yoosung moved off of Saeran, going back to his corner. Saeran logged off of his character, feeling cold in his shoulder, and turned to the blond nearby.

“Can I watch you play for a bit?”

“Sure!” Yoosung hopped into the chair as Saeran got out of it. One of his characters had purple armor with a red gem in the center of it.

“This is my main. I worked for five days to get the Taric armor. It was really hard.”

“Taric?”

“Yeah. He’s one of the champions you can choose for the arena teams. He comes from another world, where humans practice gem magic. Usually you can’t get the armor that they wear, but his is special. I use him a lot when I’m fighting arenas.”

“That’s really neat. What other champions are there?”

“I’ll show you. I can queue up for a match right now.” Yoosung clicked a ‘queue’ button, then waited for all of ten seconds before he was put into a match.

“There are a lot of people playing right now, so it’s easier to get into a match. Wednesday nights are the worst. No one’s around, so it usually ends up being me running around in dungeons, instead of in the arenas.”

Yoosung scrolled through the champions, pointing out who was who, and what their roles and abilities were. He picked out Taric, as well as five other champions, and then he was put into the match.

“Where’s your character?”

“They’re a commander in this part, and don’t actually play on the field.”

“Oh, I see. So this is completely in the hands of the champions?”

“Basically. I still have control of them.” Saeran watched the characters run across the map toward some monsters, killing them and getting gold. Then Yoosung opened a shop and bought some stuff for his heroes.

“This part is integral. If you don’t level up your champions, you can lose really quickly.”

“Ah.” The match played out, as Yoosung leveled his team quickly and efficiently. Saeran could see the hours he had poured into the game. Finally, though, the enemy team appeared. They were also leveled up. Yoosung smirked, a new light coming into his eyes. Saeran recognized it as confident determination. His boyfriend was ready for this match.

Boyfriend? The gray-hair paused for a moment, trying to figure out why exactly he had thought that. They weren’t together, after all. Not yet, at any rate. Saeran seriously needed to figure this out before he completely lost it.

He kept watching as Yoosung commanded his team to take out the enemy.

“I’ve so got this,” he muttered, focused completely on the game. It was just like when he was taking first place in Mario Kart. It didn’t take very long. Yoosung was in complete control of the battle from the start, and won. He charged into his enemy’s territory, running to a spot in the middle.

“That’s the Nexus. If I take that, then I win the match.” Somehow, it had been a half hour. The enemy team respawned, coming forward to defend their Nexus. Yoosung took them down again, one at a time, keeping his team alive with a healer he had chosen at the beginning. With the team gone a second time, he took the Nexus.

“I won!” he shouted, pumping his fist.

“Nice!” Saeran said. “You’re really good at this!”

“Yeah. You’ll be good, too. I can tell you’ve got what it takes to be a top contender.”

“Thanks.” This could be his chance. “With my boyfriend cheering me on, I think I can make it.” Yoosung’s eyes widened. He definitely heard that. Saeran held his breath, waiting for the other’s reaction. It was scary, even though he was sure of Yoosung’s answer.

“Your…” Yoosung breathed.

“Yeah. I’m still not sure if I’m totally ready for a relationship, but I care about you, and I… I want to be here for you,” Saeran said. He wanted to look away, to hide his face and the blush that was there, but he kept his eyes trained on Yoosung’s.

It was a good thing, too, because the violet pools he liked so much swam with excitement and happiness. If Saeran hadn’t been watching, he would have missed it as Yoosung threw himself out of the wood chair, knocking it to the ground. He rocketed straight into Saeran’s arms, throwing his own around his neck.

“I’m really happy that you want this. I’m gonna do my best to be the best boyfriend I can be for you, so that you never regret this decision.”

“… thank you, Yoosung.” Saeran pulled Yoosung closer, gave the star sticker one last look, and closed his eyes, burying his face in the blond’s shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so league of legends is a battle arena game, but yoosung describes elements that are more like an MMORPG than a MOBA, so i have decided that lolol is a monstrosity, the frankenstein to encompass everything gamers talk about.
> 
> i would like to take a moment to thank wikipedia because i do not play LoL.
> 
> feel free to comment your reactions, or any advice you have for improvements. i love you all :D:D:D


	5. Color in a Mind

They were still hugging when Saeran felt a familiar tightening in his chest. It spread through him, choking him. Fear followed quickly. He didn’t feel safe, but he was safe, but he wasn’t. His body panicked. He tried to calm it down and couldn’t.

He started panicking, too, tried to calm, couldn’t do anything.

“Saeran, are you okay? What’s wrong?” Yoosung asked. He held Saeran by the shoulders, concerned and worried. “Saeran? Hey.”

“Can’t… breathe.” Help, Saeran thought. He couldn’t save himself, he needed help. Miyoung always helped him, but she was so far away. She was too far away, and he was alone and in danger. He was in danger. He was in danger. He needed to get somewhere safe, but there was nowhere to go.

“Okay. Um. I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry. Should I call Saeyoung?” Yoosung was close to crying, but he was holding his tears back. Saeran nodded. Yoosung returned his nod and pulled out his phone, dialing Saeran’s brother.

“Come on, Saeyoung. Pick up.” Yoosung got up to pace, stopped, and returned to Saeran’s side, fidgeting. Saeran tried to regulate his breathing without success.

“Thank God,” he heard Yoosung breathe. “Saeyoung, Saeran’s not breathing right. What? He looks scared, but why does that --- oh. Okay… okay, thank you, Miyoung. I think I understand. Thank you.” Yoosung hung up, then looked to Saeran.

“Saeran, is it okay if I touch you?” Yoosung asked. Saeran knew this script. Miyoung did it with him every time this happened. He nodded. Yoosung put his hand tentatively on Saeran’s chest.

“I want you to breathe with me, okay?” Saeran nodded again. Yoosung started breathing deeply, in for four seconds, lifting his hand. He held it for seven seconds, then let his hand fall slowly as he exhaled for eight seconds. Saeran did his best to follow. It got easier as he went, and his breathing slowly came back.

The panic was still there, but it was lessened now. Saeran kept breathing, focusing on Yoosung’s eyes. They always bore so much emotion, and he could see the fear and confusion leaving with his own, replaced by relief.

“Thank you, Yoosung,” Saeran said.

“Don’t thank me. Miyoung’s the one who gave me advice.”

“Still, you acted on it right.” Yoosung smiled, and moved his arms.

“Can I hug you?” he asked. Saeran felt a twinge of happiness that Yoosung was learning how to maintain distance so that he didn’t trigger him, but there was pain, too, that that distance had to be there at all.

“Yeah.” Yoosung pulled him close again, gently this time, trying not to hurt him.

“I’m sorry,” Saeran murmured.

“For what?”

“I don’t know.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. I’m here for you, Saeran. I’m gonna stay by your side no matter what happens. Okay?”

“Okay.” Saeran bit his lip to keep himself from apologizing again. It would annoy Yoosung. It annoyed Saeyoung, and it annoyed Miyoung. They never said so, but he could see the lines as their bodies tensed from the constant apologies.

Yoosung was smiling, then reached over to the computer for the Lais chips Saeran had left there.

“Here. Would you like anything else to eat? Maybe something to drink? I have water. I might have some Ph D. Pepper.”

“Water’s fine.”

“Alright. I’ll be right back.” Yoosung left, and came back a minute later with a glass of water. He handed it to Saeran, sitting beside him.

“I’m the one who should apologize. I had no idea that you suffer from that stuff, and here I am, asking you to come to an unfamiliar place, and wanting to hang out with you. You must have been so uncomfortable,” Yoosung said. Saeran sipped his water, not saying anything.

“If you want to go home, I don’t mind. You should be happy, Saeran.”

“Yoosung… you shouldn’t have to deal with me, or this. I’m sorry. I’ll go.” Saeran got up, setting his mostly full glass on the desk, then turned to leave.

“Alright.”

“Thanks for having me,” Saeran said, looking back at Yoosung. He could see they were glossier than normal. Or maybe he could consider “glossier” to be their normal state?

“Thanks for coming. I had fun,” Yoosung replied. He smiled, but it was obvious he was hiding his feelings.

“Me too.” Saeran walked out the door, closing it behind him. He fought down the rising regret from leaving, and kept walking toward the elevator, toward his car, and drove home.

 

Yoosung had managed to hold himself together long enough for Saeran to get out the door before the tears spilled over. He wasn’t sure why he was crying exactly, but there had been a lot of emotions in one hour, so he supposed it made sense.

He had had no idea that Saeran was hurting so. No, that wasn’t true. Saeran had tried to push him away because of this sort of thing. He had said so several times, hadn’t he? Or once or twice. Yoosung groaned. The evidence had been right there in front of him the whole time, and he hadn’t even bothered to look!

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” He beat himself in the forehead with every word, throwing himself back onto his bed hard enough to set his head spinning. “Why am I such an idiot? Oh my god...” He curled up on his side, his crying turning to ugly sobs. He remembered Miyoung’s breathing technique, and tried it. It helped to calm him down, and Yoosung was able to stop crying.

It was a new world, being able to take control of his emotions like that. He realized that he should call Miyoung again, to let her know that Saeran was going home. He dialed her.

“Is he doing better?” she asked.

“Yeah. He’s going back home, now.”

“Okay. Thank you for telling me.”

“No problem.” The call ended, and Yoosung looked at his screen. His character was still logged in, but he didn’t particularly feel like playing then. He logged out, and saw Saeran’s character.

“How do I help you, Saeran?” he wondered.

 

Saeran pulled into his usual parking spot in Saeyoung’s overly huge garage. He made his way inside, struggling to stay upright. As soon as he reached the couch in the living room, he crashed. There was no energy left inside him.

“You doing okay?” Miyoung asked. Saeran didn’t have the energy to move his eyes. “I’ll get you some water.” She went to the kitchen and came back with a glass. Saeran remembered his Lais chips, suddenly, the ones he hadn’t finished.

The glass was set on the little coffee table in front of him, and Miyoung came around to cuddle him. It felt nice, like it always did. He couldn’t move, still, but she knew that. They had been through this before. It made it easier. He started counting to one hundred.

“Yoosung called me again, to tell me you were coming home,” she said, around fifty. When he reached one hundred, he tried to move his tongue with success. Next came his fingers, and then everything was moving again. Saeran pulled away from Miyoung.

“He did?”

“Yeah. He seemed worried.”

“He looked like he was about to cry when I left.”

“Why did you leave?”

“He told me to, I think. He said he wouldn’t mind if I left.” Saeran laughed mirthlessly. “Figures, though, doesn’t it? I finally decide that I actually want to try dating, and this happens.”

“It’s not your fault. You know that, right? Things happened in your past that hurt you deeply, and they won’t just go away.”

“I know, but it’s been a year since I left Rika behind. Why… why does this still happen?”

“It takes time. You’ve made so much progress toward being a better person, Saeran. You’re going to make a lot more.”

“Thank you for saying so. I’m going to take a nap.” Saeran got up from the couch and went to his room. It was about noon, at that point. He sighed, and slumped into his bed.

Sleep didn’t come. His mind kept telling him that he was a failure, that he had made a mistake. He didn’t know how to fix it. He didn’t know what the mistake was. But Yoosung had said that he would be there for him, right? No matter what? He had said he wanted Saeran to be happy.

Saeran grabbed his phone and called him.

“Saeran? Are you okay?”

“I shouldn’t have left like that. I’m sorry.” I can’t stop fucking up, he thought.

“No, it’s fine. You looked like you needed to go home, anyway. Are you okay, though?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. Did you cry?”

“A bit, but I tried that breathing technique, and it helped to calm me down. It’s really cool.”

“Yeah, it is. I use it a lot at school, but most people don’t notice. I barely notice anymore, myself.”

“Wow. Oh, is there anything else I should know? Like, are there any other things I can learn to help you? I don’t want to be useless.”

“I can’t think of anything right now. No, wait. There is one thing. Sometimes my body stops moving right, and I end up collapsing somewhere. I usually aim for the couch, or my bed, but I don’t always make it. Whenever that happens, I count to a hundred, and then I’m usually able to do something to restore body functions. It… it’s nice to be cuddled during that time,” Saeran said, finishing in a whisper.

“O-okay. Yeah, I can cuddle you, if that happens while we’re together,” Yoosung replied. He sounded nervous. Saeran figured it made sense. How can someone just handle someone else’s problems? It doesn’t happen.

“After that, I don’t know. My therapist would be better at telling you this stuff.”

“Your therapist?”

“Yeah. Dr. Lee. He’s actually the one who told me to try dating you. Uh...” That was a dumb thing to say. Saeran was good at saying stupid things. He facepalmed.

“You decided to date me because of your therapist?” He could practically hear the hurt in Yoosung’s voice at that.

“Yeah...” That was it. They had been together for all of half an hour, maybe more, and their relationship was over.

“Can you thank him for me?”

“What?”

“I want to thank him for giving you the confidence to… to..”

“To date you?”

“And probably a lot of other things, too!”

“He told me to try college. I feel like he knows what I can do better than me.”

“See? He’s helping you a lot. Can I get his number? I want to know more about how to help you.”

“You’re not angry that I involved him in the first place?” Saeran was confused. This was not at all how he expected this conversation between them to go.

“Maybe a little bit, since you didn’t get to this conclusion on your own. But, I’m glad that you’re trying to do better!”

“Uh, thanks.” Yoosung seemed to be okay with Saeran, even after his breakdown. “Right, his number.” He gave it to Yoosung. Then they talked awhile longer. Yoosung said his guildies were confused because his account said he was online, but he wasn’t on any of his characters. He laughed. Saeran laughed, too. It was pretty amusing, he had to admit.

It also reminded him of his old job, the one he had had a little over a year ago, before his brother found him. He’d needed to stay in the shadows then, too, as he hacked what he needed to for his boss.

Saeran refused to even think of her name, especially when he was still recovering from a panic attack. He didn’t need a full-on episode.

The call ended after some time, Yoosung saying he needed to go back to LoLoL and reassure his guildies that he was fine and hadn’t been hacked. Saeran got up himself, going over to his computer. He looked the game up on the internet, made an account, and downloaded it. It was going to take an hour, so he decided to get some food.

“Feeling better?” Miyoung asked as he passed hers and Saeyoung’s room.

“Yeah. Yoosung called again. We’ve… straightened things out as best we can,” Saeran replied.

“I’m glad. You really have improved since we brought you home, you know.”

“Yeah. I’m happy I have.” He grabbed some chips from his brother’s stash, then returned to his room and browsed some random sites while LoLoL downloaded. Once it was done, he opened it up and got to playing. He had memorized Yoosung’s account information, and put it into the friend tracker with a message saying who he was.

He got an acceptance notification soon after, as well as a message from Yoosung.

→ You got an account~ Now we can play together! :D

Yeah. We were planning this anyway, right? ← 

→ Right!

Saeran made a second version of his character, then realized that his name, Misericorde, would still be taken, since he was on the Shooting Star server. He exited the character creation screen.

Would you mind deleting that character I made?  
I wanna make it again, but I want the name. ← 

→ Okay!  
→ Done

Saeran went back into the character creation screen, remade his character again, and then created it with the name. He entered the world, went through the opening cinematic (he discovered it could be skipped), and ran a couple quests. Yoosung sent him a guild invitation, which he accepted, albeit reluctantly. They were Yoosung’s friends, right? They wouldn’t hurt him.

Would he hurt them? Probably. They would think he was weird, at least. What if they thought ill of Yoosung because of him? That would be bad. Saeran started to regret his decision, but it was done.

The chat filled up with people welcoming him to the guild. He typed in a ‘thank you’, and got a chorus of ‘you’re welcome’s in return.

[Guild] Froggert: so what kind of name is Misericorde? Does it mean anything?

[Guild] Misericorde: it’s a type of knife meant for mercy killing

[Guild] Diddlyumpkis: thats so cool!

They liked his name. It wasn’t the first time he was told this, but it was still really weird. Saeran smiled, then tried to drift into the background. His new guildies wanted to know about, though. They kept asking questions, and he kept answering, but it was getting annoying. He considered logging off. Yoosung told them to give him some time to adjust to the game, since it was his first day playing. The questions drifted off, thankfully.

Saeran found the whisper command, and sent a quick message to Yoosung.

To [SupermanYoosung]: thanks

[SupermanYoosung] whispers: you’re welcome ^^

 

Yoosung was at the therapist’s office, not for himself, but for Saeran. He really did want to learn more about what it was that Saeran was going through, and how he could help. So, he had called the therapist’s office, asking if he could get an appointment to learn how to deal with symptoms. As it happened, there was an opening for the next day, so he booked it and went.

Talking to the therapist, Dr. Lee, was an experience in itself. The office he was in was roomy. There were a couple comfy couches. Yoosung sat on one, with the therapist on the other. The walls were creamy, couches a deep red. There were plants around, and bookshelves lining the walls were a dark brown.

“So, tell me what’s troubling you,” the therapist started. Yoosung took a deep breath. This was it.

“I need to learn how to cope with mental illness… from the outside.”

“From the outside?” That was a new one, apparently. Dr. Lee seemed confused.

“Y-yeah. My boyfriend has some mental… stuff… going on, and he doesn’t want to hurt me. But I want to help him as much as I can! So please, can you teach me how to help someone cope?” Yoosung leaned forward a bit. There was a smile on Dr. Lee’s face.

“I’m guessing you’re Saeran’s soulmate.”

“Did he mention me?”

“Yes, and he seemed happy to know you. He said that you care a lot about him.”

“I do, yeah.”

“Then, yes. I’ll help you. I have a number of things that will help to get you started on understanding his particular illnesses, and we can spend the rest of the time going over specific methods.”

“Thank you so much, Dr. Lee!” Yoosung grinned. Dr. Lee laughed heartily.

“Then let’s get started, shall we?”

They spent an hour working on methods. Yoosung admitted to wanting Saeran to break down so that he could try them out, feeling guilty. Dr. Lee assured him that it was natural for humans to want to test their skills.

“Thanks again, Dr. Lee,” Yoosung said, once the hour had ended.

“No problem. I’m only a weekly appointment, so it’ll be good for Saeran to have someone close who knows what to do in various situations. Good bye, and come back if you want more help.”

“I will. Good bye.” Yoosung left the office, and the building. He felt like calling Saeran, so he did.

“Yoosung, hey,” Saeran said once he picked up.

“Hey, Saeran. I just left Dr. Lee’s office. He taught me some stuff to help you out in case you need it when you’re at my house.” There was silence on the other end. “Saeran?”

“… you didn’t have to do that, you know,” Saeran said quietly.

“I know, but,” Yoosung’s voice dropped to a whisper, “I wanted to. You’re important to me.” He blushed.

“Yoosung...”

“Oh! How are you doing with LoLoL?”

“I’m doing fine with it. It’s not too difficult. Some of these people are morons, though. I just ran a dungeon with a cleric that said their job isn’t to heal.”

“Oh my god. I’ll be home soon, then I can run you through some dungeons so you don’t have to deal with idiots, anymore.”

“Good. See you then,” Saeran said.

“See you.” Yoosung hung up. He thought about playing with Saeran and felt his heart jump into his throat, vibrating and making him want to yell or scream or cheer from happiness. He hopped, and walked home with a skip in his step.

 

Saeran was petting his anxiety plush. The last dungeon had been a hazard with a useless member, and the healer no less. It made his heart rate go up, and he was trying to keep himself calmed down a bit. He decided to just wait until Yoosung had returned.

→ I’m on

It was Yoosung. Saeran moved to reply, setting his anxiety plushie to the side.

Good to see you. How was the appointment? ← 

→ It was good. I learned a lot of stuff. Dunno how much  
is gonna stick in my head lolol

Heh, yeah. The first couple appointments didn’t  
really stick for me, either ←

Yoosung logged onto his main, the one that wore the Taric armor. Saeran had tried a couple rounds in the battle arenas that Yoosung had fought in for that armor, and found it fun. He could understand how his star-obsessed boyfriend could get addicted.

After all, he was starting to get a bit addicted, himself.

They ran some dungeons together, most of their time spent silent or shouting angrily at the monsters they were fighting.

“I’m happy we can spend time together like this,” Yoosung said at one point.

“Me too. You really do want to be with me, right?”

“Of course! There isn’t any doubt in my mind.”

“Even with my panic attacks, and the executive dysfunction ---”

“Even with them.”

“--- or the hallucinations that show up sometimes, the paranoia. There’s more, but that’s what I can think of off the top of my head.”

“Saeran. No matter what you’ve been through, I’m sticking by you. Even if it’s hard. Even if I end up getting hurt somehow. I’m gonna stay by you. I care about you.” The last sentence was whispered, as if it were a secret that Yoosung was sharing with the whole world, with his whole world. Saeran felt his heart jump just a bit.

“You say that now, but ---”

“No buts! We’re in this for the long run. I want to stay by you, no matter what!” Yoosung sounded so certain, Saeran couldn’t help but smile.

“Yoosung, you really are something else.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment if you wish! Sorry about last chapter being a bit of a throw, I forgot what I was going to add to it, then remembered and made that the focus for this one lolol.


	6. Color in a Fever

The days were getting colder, bit by bit. Saeran zipped up his bulky black jacket as he walked to the coffee shop. He shoved his hands into his pockets, feeling his wallet under his fingers. When he reached the shop and opened the door, however, he didn’t see Yoosung at the counter. It was Jaehee.

“Good morning, Saeran,” she said.

“Morning.” He didn’t say anything about Yoosung, but he supposed there was something on his face that betrayed his emotion. Or maybe Jaehee just figured that he would want to know.

“Yoosung called earlier. He said he was sick.”

“Yeah?” That wasn’t good. “How bad?”

“He didn’t say. Just said that he couldn’t come in to work today.”

“Alright. Medium black, please.” Jaehee handed him his coffee, he paid, and then left.

Saeran spent the day worrying over Yoosung. He sent him a text asking if the blond was alright. He got a response more than an hour later. Yoosung said he was doing fine. Saeran didn’t believe him for a second. Even if he was distracted by LoLoL, Yoosung never took more than ten minutes to get back to him. Of course, Yoosung was sick, so it made sense. He was probably resting. Saeran shouldn’t disturb him.

Saeran was still worried, though. He wanted to be there for Yoosung, to do something for him. He opened his wallet, checking how much money he had. Maybe he could buy some medicine? There wasn’t a lot in there, but he did see a card sitting in one of the slots. It was the coupon he’d gotten when he first saw Yoosung, the one for a free drink at Jaehee’s shop. An idea started forming in Saeran’s mind. He looked up herbal teas that might be good, hoping that one of them would be sold at the coffee shop.

He sent another text to Yoosung, asking what exactly was wrong. Was it a stomach bug, a cold, a fever? 

It’s just a fever, don’t worry.

Saeran worried plenty. He felt uneasy through both of his classes, but at least he knew what kind of tea to buy.

As soon as class ended, he was running back to Jaehee’s shop to get peppermint tea. He hoped Yoosung would like it. He burst through the door, attracting the attention of the afternoon customers. They all looked at him. Saeran glared back, and went to the counter.

“Back again?” Jaehee asked. She looked somewhat amused.

“I need peppermint tea,” he said, slapping the coupon down.

“Alright.” She brewed the tea, its smell wafting over Saeran, calming him a bit. “Is it for Yoosung?”

“Yeah. He’s got a fever.”

“I see. Get it to him quickly, then.” Saeran nodded, then walked out quickly. He couldn’t run, since he didn’t want to spill the tea. He made it home in record time anyway, going immediately to the garage, praying silently for light traffic as he got into his car and put the tea in the cupholder. Then he was off to Yoosung’s.

Traffic was light, thankfully. Saeran got to the apartment building quickly, grabbed the tea, and made his way to the eighteenth floor. He tried to open the door, but it was locked.

“Fuck,” he muttered, knocking instead.

“Who is it?” asked a tired voice on the other side.

“It’s Saeran.” There was some shuffling, then the door opened.

“Saeran? What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to take care of you, sort of. I brought tea,” Saeran said, holding it up.

“Thank you. Come on in.” Saeran entered the apartment, looking around as he took his shoes off. It was fairly clean. There were some books open on the desk, and a bowl sat next to the sink. Yoosung shambled to his bed, but landed in his chair, instead.

“Do you want to play a round?” he asked, eyes unfocused.

“You need to rest, Yoosung. Come on, get into bed,” Saeran replied, pulling Yoosung up and dragging him the five feet to his bed. He sat the blond down in it, and put the tea in his hand. Yoosung lifted it to his mouth.

“It’s nice,” he said. “Like it...” He kept drinking. “Your jacket...”

“I prefer having it on,” Saeran said, and sat down next to him. Yoosung wasn’t wearing his hair clips. His hair fell in front of his face.

“Here,” Saeran said, tucking Yoosung’s hair behind his ear as best he could. It wasn’t quite long enough. He found one of Yoosung’s clips and stuck it in, realizing a moment after that he would have to take it out again in a few minutes when Yoosung had finished his tea.

“Pet me?” Yoosung asked. He was still unfocused.

“What?”

“Please…?” Saeran sighed, and plopped his hand on Yoosung’s head. He started petting him, observing with amusement and confusion as Yoosung’s eyes closed. He seemed to be enjoying it, at any rate, drinking his tea until it was all gone.

“Thanks for the tea,” Yoosung said.

“You’re welcome,” Saeran replied. He took the cup and set it on the bookshelf, then pulled Yoosung’s hair clip out again. “It’s time for you to sleep, okay? Get some rest.”

“Will you be here when I wake up?”

“Uh… yeah. Yeah, I’ll be here.” Saeran pet Yoosung again, then laid him down on his back, pulling the blanket up and tucking his boyfriend in.

It was still a bit new to him, to have a boyfriend. They’d only started dating a couple days ago. As Yoosung drifted off to sleep, Saeran grabbed his laptop. He wanted to code something, suddenly. Something that Yoosung would enjoy. Maybe he could finish it for Christmas, and give it to Yoosung as a special gift? He started thinking about what he could make. There were only a couple months left before Christmas. October had already started, after all.

It would be something with stars. Saeran pulled up Notepad, writing down his ideas. It would be an adventure game, with plenty of helping others, since that was what Yoosung liked to do. His LoLoL record and connections to the game developers could account for that. Saeran fleshed out his ideas, coming up with preliminary sketches in MSPaint of the characters.

Yoosung’s star character had a gem on its chest, and little brown clips on one side of its pointy head.

He was just getting started on building the game when Yoosung woke up.

“You’re still here,” Yoosung said, smiling.

“Of course. You asked me to stay, right?”

“Yeah.” Yoosung rolled over onto his side, propping himself up. “What are you working on?”

“Your Christmas present. It’s a surprise,” Saeran said. Yoosung’s eyes lit up, and he was smiling widely. Secretly, Saeran felt proud for being able to make Yoosung smile like that. It was proof to him that he could actually make someone happy, even if Yoosung was super easy to please.

“You’re making something for me? That’s awesome! Oh, but I haven’t even started thinking about what to get you. If you’re making something, then I should, too.” Yoosung’s face scrunched up in deep thought.

“You really don’t have to,” Saeran said. “Getting anything from you would be good enough. Besides, you’re still sick, so don’t think too hard right now. Are you hungry? I can get you something to eat.”

“Yeah, a little bit. I think my fever’s breaking.”

“That’s good to hear. I’ll see what I can find.” Saeran went to the kitchen, opening the fridge to see what the college student might have.

What’s a college student going to have, really? There wasn’t even bread in there, not that Saeran was complaining. Even so, the fridge was almost completely empty. He thought it kind of odd, considering how Yoosung was able to pull out those Lais chips last time. Then he realized that the cupboards probably had food in them.

He opened one, and found several bags of chips. Would that be good? Saeran kept looking, finding some salty crackers. He remembered when Saeyoung got sick, Miyoung let him eat these. He pulled them off the shelf, cracking a sleeve open and bringing it over to Yoosung, who was standing over his computer chair.

“What are you doing!? Get back in bed.”

“Ah, sorry. I just need to messages my guildies so they know I can’t play today.”

“I’ll do that for you. You just get back to bed. And here, I found these.” Saeran went to the computer, opening the guild chat as Yoosung climbed back into bed like an obedient puppy. At least he wasn’t hard to handle.

[Guild] SupermanYoosung: hey guys, cant play much today. Im sick :(

He figured that would be good, and logged off. Yoosung was eating one of the crackers, breaking off pieces and getting crumbs all over himself. Once he finished it, he looked down at himself.

“Oops. I always forget how easily these break apart,” he said, chuckling. Saeran chuckled, too. He watched Yoosung pick the pieces off his chest, then offered to take them to the trash. Upon return, Yoosung was laying down on his side again, eyes wide open.

“I’m not tired enough to sleep,” he said. He reached for a bedside table on the far side of the bed that Saeran had missed before. There was a wardrobe on that side, too. Picking up a remote, Yoosung turned on the TV he had, flipping through the channels until he found something to watch. It was a kid’s cartoon.

“You watch cartoons?” Saeran asked.

“Yeah. I really like this one,” Yoosung said. He settled back against his headrest. “It’s about a boy whose mother was a war general a long time ago, but she gave up her life to give birth to him, leaving him with his father and three war veterans. He’s trying to be a helpful person to the people in his town, and support his family in their continued quest to protect their world.”

“Sounds like you,” Saeran said quietly. No matter who it was, Yoosung was willing to help, even if the person was Saeran.

“Maybe that’s why I like it so much. Come and join me.” Yoosung scooted to one side of his bed, patting the other. Saeran felt heat rise to his cheeks.

“Uh.” He wasn’t sure what to do. This was a lot of physical contact. The bed wasn’t even that big. Finally, Saeran sucked it up, pulling the covers back a bit, and sliding in next to Yoosung. He made sure there was space between them. When he looked at Yoosung, the other was blushing more than he was.

“Is this alright? You’re still sick.”

“I think it’ll be fine. Besides, if you get sick, I’ll get to take care of you,” Yoosung said. How was this crazy kid able to say something like that, all while looking him directly in the eye? Especially since he could get nervous over the simplest things.

He was an enigma. It was the only explanation. There was something supernatural about Yoosung.

They watched the show for awhile longer, and Yoosung didn’t bother changing the channel as the next cartoon came on. He yawned, then slid down in the bed, resting his head on Saeran’s lap before the gray-hair could move. His breathing became deeper, until it was obvious that he was asleep. One of his hands was curled up next to his face.

“You idiot, you’re gonna cramp your hand like that,” Saeran said, uncurling it. He was overcome with a sudden desire, a horrible desire that he wanted so badly to indulge and yet feared.

He wanted to hold Yoosung’s hand.

So he did. And it felt nice.

Saeran twined his fingers with Yoosung’s, making the sleeping man’s fingers lay straight across the back of his hand, as his own fingers did the same. Yoosung’s breathing changed for a moment, but, as it calmed down again, a smile stretched across his face as his hand moved more into Saeran’s. They stayed like that for about an hour, until Yoosung awoke again, looking much more awake than before.

“Feeling better?” Saeran asked.

“Mmhmm. Much,” Yoosung said. He reached for another cracker, stuffing it in his mouth whole. He chewed and swallowed, then said, “Don’t want to get crumbs everywhere, again.” He giggled.

“Wouldn’t be fun to try and clean up,” Saeran agreed. Yoosung sat up beside him again.

“What’s on now?”

“Same thing that’s been on for the past hour. Does it really get an hour block?”

“Not really. They increase the viewership on it by playing it all the time. If you look at their show schedule, it’s just this one. Constantly. Makes it rare to find my favorite, but at least they finally gave it a time slot.”

“Oh. Mind if I change it to something else, then?” Saeran asked. He had seen that Yoosung had an HDMI cable, and there was a show he’d been watching on his laptop for some time, now.

“Go ahead.”

“Alright. I’m gonna need my hand back for a moment.”

“Oh, right. Sorry,” Yoosung said, letting go.

“No need to apologize. You haven’t done anything wrong.” Saeran got up, bringing his laptop and charger over to the TV. He found an empty outlet, plugged his laptop in so it wouldn’t die, then hooked it up with the HDMI cable. It worked, at least. He could see his screen on the TV.

“Nice,” Yoosung said. Saeran breathed a laugh through his nose, reaching into his bag for a wireless mouse and dongle. Once he had it plugged in, he opened his browser, searching for the show on his preferred streaming site.

“You stream? Isn’t that illegal?”

“Ads pay for the content,” he said, hiding said ads from sight. Then he rejoined Yoosung on the bed to watch the show, taking the mouse with him and moving the cursor to the side. As the opening started, Yoosung squealed.

“I love this show!” he shouted.

“Yeah? That’s good. I was worried for a moment that you would have to suffer through this.”

“No, I love it. I’ve seen the whole thing!”

“Well, I haven’t yet, so no spoilers.”

“Okay.” They made it through a few episodes, each only a half hour long, until Saeran realized it was nine at night.

“Shit. I need to get home.”

“It is pretty late,” Yoosung said. “How long would it take you to get home?”

“About a half hour? Traffic should be light at this time.”

“We still have class tomorrow. And...” Yoosung started blushing again

“And?”

“Never mind. I was just… thinking something dumb, is all.”

“What is it?” Saeran asked.

“It’s nothing, really.”

“Yoosung, tell me, please?” If he was blushing, Saeran was sure that it was something that could be classified as “romantic.”

“Y-you could… stay over for the night,” Yoosung said, his voice trailing off. Well, there was pride in Saeran’s heart at knowing his significant other so well after such a short time, and also a lot of embarrassment because, wow, was he ever not ready for a sleepover.

And yet, he found the idea exciting.

Saeran silently cursed his fickle heart for being so stupid in the two seconds he had before his brain decided to betray him.

“That sounds nice,” Saeran’s brain said. He tried not to recoil too hard from his own idiocy.

“Alright! I don’t know if they’ll fit, but I have some spare pajamas in the wardrobe,” Yoosung said.

“I just need to call Saeyoung to let him know I’m staying over.”

“Okay.” Yoosung slid out of bed, going to the wardrobe as Saeran pulled out his phone. He usually had it on vibrate, so he hadn’t noticed as some hundred messages had gone through. They were either from Saeyoung, Miyoung, or Zen, of all people. He scrolled through them quickly, since they would all be worrying messages. The last one from Saeyoung said that he had hacked into a secret camera in Yoosung’s apartment, and was no longer worried for his safety. It also said they looked cute in bed together.

Fuck you, Saeran texted back. Miyoung was the same, with another couple messages that she had been assured, wishing him luck. He told her that he was staying over. Zen’s messages had nothing about cameras or Yoosung at the end, but he did tell the older man that he was safe.

“There. At least Miyoung knows.”

“Did Saeyoung do something to upset you,” Yoosung asked, grinning.

“Why’re you smiling like that?” Saeran asked, as a pair of pajamas were thrown at him. They had clouds on them, and smelled nice, like Yoosung.

“I’m just laughing at Saeyoung. He could say hi in the morning and upset you.”

“Oh,” Saeran said. “He’s done that before, almost a year ago.”

“Really? What happened?”

“I was still in recovery, and really cranky one morning. Saeyoung showed up, and I couldn’t handle him at that moment. I tried to hit him, but he’s fast.”

“Yeah. I’ve tried to get him, too, sometimes. He’s always just out of reach, it’s annoying.”

“He’s annoying.”

“Heh, that too. You did get him pretty good a little while ago, when we were playing Mario Kart and he scared us, and you went flying over the couch and bam! Pinned him to the ground in no time flat!” Yoosung said, smacking his fist into his hand. He was grinning with a whole different emotion. They were so easy to read on him. This time, it was admiration.

“Thanks,” Saeran said, smiling. It was nice for his successes to get appreciated. He still had the cloud pajamas in his hand. “Do you mind if I use the bathroom first?”

“Not at all.” He went in, closing the door behind him, and shuffled out of his jacket. His old tattoo, the one of an eye, was still there. Saeran grimaced, refusing to look at it. He refused to think of Rika.

He pulled off his shirt and pants, changing into the pajamas quickly. Then he grabbed his clothes and bundled them up, leaving the bathroom and stuffing them in his bag. Yoosung was still changing, having gotten fresh pajama bottoms on, but having trouble with the shirt. Saeran stayed quiet, amused as Yoosung struggled.

The blond finally managed to get the shirt back off, then sorted it out and put it on properly. Saeran clapped, much to Yoosung’s embarrassment.

“You saw that, huh?”

“Yeah, I did. It was funny,” Saeran said, trying not to laugh too hard. He was already giggling. Yoosung pouted.

“It’s not funny, it’s embarrassing!” Yoosung balled up his hands at his sides, leaning forward as he yelled. Saeran burst out laughing. Pretty soon, Yoosung joined him.

“Sorry. You’re just so cute when you’re angry.”

“I guess it was pretty funny, huh? You really think I’m cute?” Yoosung asked.

“Yeah,” Saeran said.

“You’re cute, too. Especially in those pajamas. Clouds look good on you.” Saeran’s smile waned and became wistful.

“Thanks, Yoosung,” he said. Then he stood up. “Do you have a place I can sleep? The bed’s not quite big enough for both of us.” Even if we were just in it together. Yoosung hummed in thought.

“I have a sleeping bag in the hall closet. I’ll go get it.” Yoosung left, and returned a moment later with the sleeping bag, all tightly rolled up. Saeran knew he wouldn’t be able to replicate its tightness the next morning.

“Yoosung,” Saeran said, remembering one particular peculiarity about his boyfriend.

“Yeah?”

“You’re taking the bed.” Saeran wrested the sleeping bag away from Yoosung, pushing him toward the bed.

“But you’re my guest! It’s my responsibility to make sure you’re as comfortable as possible!” Saeran didn’t bother replying to that. He just shoved Yoosung at the bed, dropping the sleeping bag as Yoosung struggled against him.

“Come on! Get into the bed!”

“No! Let me go!” They kept struggling, Yoosung putting up a decent fight. How was he so strong?

Their quarrel was interrupted by a harried knock on the door.

“Are you alright in there? Should I call the cops?”

“Everything’s okay, Mr. Seong!” Yoosung called back. He went to the door. In the meantime, Saeran tore the sleeping bag out of its roll and hopped in in midair, hitting the floor hard. He pulled it over his head, then realized that he didn’t have a pillow. He scooted over to Yoosung’s bed as the blond calmed his neighbor down, finding a squarish rabbit that was green. He grabbed it and returned to the floor. Yoosung came back a couple minutes later.

“Phew, got that cleared up. Mr. Seong was worried that you were attacking me,” Yoosung said, laughing nervously. Saeran thought back to their yelling, seeing how it could have been misleading.

“We’ll have to be more careful in the future,” he said.

“You mean we can have another sleepover?” Yoosung asked.

“Er.” Saeran realized what he said, once again missing how something could be misleading. He laid his head on the rabbit and pulled the bag over his head again.

“Aw, come on, don’t just log out,” Yoosung said.

“Log out?”

“Oops. Looks like we both need to watch what we say, huh? I’m feeling loopy tired.”

“Loopy tired? Haven’t heard that one, before.”

“Yeah. It’s the kind of tired when you’re willing to laugh at a lot of things, and you misspeak a lot, too. Have you ever experienced that?”

“No.”

“That’s so sad! We should get you to that point of tiredness.”

“Maybe some other night. We have class tomorrow, and you have work.”

“Right! Okay, good night, Saeran. Next time we have a sleepover, though, we are so staying up until you’re laughing at ‘chip.’” Yoosung climbed into his bed, thankfully, pulling the blanket up on him.

“Sounds good. Good night, Yoosung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking the next two or three chapters are going to be date-style, to move us from October to December or so, so if you have something you want them to do, comment below, or send an ask to my tumblr, http://scriberat.tumblr.com/


	7. Color in a Sound

There wasn’t any beeping that morning. At least, not that Saeran was used to. Instead, there was the sound of wind chimes. Saeran stirred from his sleep, trying to figure out what that obnoxious noise was. Then he started freaking out for a completely different reason.

This wasn’t his room. This rabbit thing was not his pillow, and whatever he was wrapped in wasn’t his blanket. Saeran sat up suddenly, looking around him. He was… in Yoosung’s apartment? Right, he hadn’t gone home the night before.

The wind chimes were making a musical pattern, and Yoosung’s phone was buzzing itself off the end table. Saeran realized it was an alarm going off. He sat up, watching as Yoosung’s hand snaked toward his phone, grabbing it just as it fell over the edge. The blond raised his head from his pillow, hair flying out in all directions, then the chimes stopped and he fell back into bed.

“Yoosung,” Saeran said. The alarm had gone off for a reason, right? He couldn’t just let Yoosung sleep through it, could he? It would be irresponsible.

“Mm,” Yoosung grunted.

“Yoosung, you have to get up.” Saeran stood and approached the bed.

“Five more minutes...”

“Now.”

“But mom...”

“Look at me,” Saeran said, pulling the blanket back. Yoosung looked up at him and yelped, throwing himself back a foot.

“Oh! Saeran. Good morning,” he said, trying to recover. Fluffy hair was over his eye again. Yoosung blew it out of the way, only for it to fall right back.

“Good morning. Do you always have this much trouble getting up?”

“I usually hit sleep on my alarm, and Jaehee calls me fifteen minutes before six to make sure I’m awake.”

“What time is it?”

“5:00 or so?” Yoosung slid out of bed, yawning. “Really early, I know. But I work from 6:30 to 7:30 in the morning.”

“I see.” Saeran left the bed’s side, going into the kitchen to see if he could find any food that was breakfast-related. He didn’t like most breakfast foods, aside from the occasional waffle. Yoosung took a shower. Saeran found some cereal hiding in one of the cupboards. He heard the water turn off as Yoosung answered a call.

“Yeah, I just got out of the shower. Yup, I’ll be on time, don’t worry. I always am, right? See you soon, Jaehee, and thanks for worrying about me. No, really, I’m feeling better. Saeran came by yesterday with some tea and stayed with me. Alright. Alright.” The walls really were thin around here, Saeran mused. He ate his cereal quietly, listening to a phone conversation he had no business hearing.

“Hey, Zen, how are you? Have you eaten yet? What!? Zen, you need to eat! How is Jaehee supposed to take care of her shop when she has to worry about you? Go eat! Good. What do you want to know?” It was very odd, only having half the conversation. Saeran tried to think of what Zen might be saying on the other side.

“What!? No! N-nothing like that happened! Yeah, you keep saying that, but I’m pretty sure you’re just talking about yourself. Saeran’s not like that.” Yoosung muttered something, but Saeran couldn’t hear it. “Shut up, Zen! I am not! I’m hanging up now, good-bye!” Then there was the sound of a faucet, and some furious tooth brushing. Saeran laughed quietly. Whatever had gone on, it was pretty funny.

Yoosung stepped out of the bathroom, finding Saeran right in front of him, leaning against the stove that was right across from the bathroom door.

“Hey, Saeran,” Yoosung said. He turned toward his room to change, no evidence of the call that had just happened.

“Hey.” Saeran finished his cereal, draining the milk from the bowl, then set it down in the sink and went to take a shower himself. As he was washing himself, he tried to imagine what Zen might have said. It was probably having to do with sex, or something, considering Yoosung’s reaction. And something he said all the time… did he think Saeran was a wolf? Saeran chuckled at the thought, then had to make his shower cold as he imagined shoving Yoosung onto that bed and forcing the younger man into submission.

Cold, cold shower. Good yes. Saeran dried himself off quickly, wrapping the towel around his waist. He walked out. Yoosung was shoving books into his bag, and looked up as Saeran came out. He blushed. Saeran tried to look completely casual and not like he had nearly gotten off in someone else’s home after imagining them beneath him and he really needed to stop.

Saeran turned awkwardly, grabbing his clothes from his bag and retreating into the bathroom to change. When he came out again, Yoosung was eating cereal.

“You look good in a towel,” he said. Saeran had to breathe deeply and collect himself.

“So do you.” He stuffed his things into his bag, noting that his phone was pretty much dead. That was unfortunate.

“I’ll give you a ride to work,” Saeran said. “My car’s outside, anyway.”

“Thanks.” Yoosung put his phone in his back pocket. “That tattoo on your shoulder looks cool, too.” Saeran froze. He’d had the tattoo for so long, he often forgot that it was there, and Saeyoung and Miyoung knew better than to comment on it. He held back a rush of emotion and memories as best he could.

“Saeran?”

“I...” He couldn’t finish his sentence. What was he trying to say? It didn’t matter. He pushed the tattoo’s existence out of his mind.

“Hey.” Yoosung was grabbing his face. “Look at me, Saeran. Focus on me.” Saeran looked directly into Yoosung’s eyes, letting himself get swallowed by their depth. They were so deep, Saeran felt like he could sink into them forever and never hit the bottom.

“There. Sorry, I won’t mention it again.”

“Yeah, that would be a good idea.” Saeran pulled his jacket on, making sure his sleeve covered the tattoo. Now that it was getting colder, it would be easier to hide it with the sweaters Miyoung had bought him the year before.

There were dozens of sweaters. They were half his closet.

“Anyway, Jaehee’s shop isn’t going to be open until seven, but she needs me to come in early so I can help open.”

“Okay. Let’s go.” They left Yoosung’s apartment. Saeran could feel his chest shuddering as it attempted to settle after that moment. He tried to calm himself down more, but it was hard. It was so close. He felt a hand wrap around his own and squeeze. Yoosung was smiling reassuringly at him. Saeran smiled back, managing to lift his cheeks a bit.

When they got to the lobby, Saeran let go of Yoosung’s hand, still unsure about public displays of affection. Yoosung didn’t protest. They went out to the parking lot, got into the car, and Saeran drove them to Jaehee’s coffee shop.

“Here we are,” Yoosung said, getting out after Saeran parked the car. Saeran hopped out after him. There was plenty of time to get to school, and he could drive them, since he had the car.

“Ah, Yoosung. You’re looking well,” Jaehee said. She was smiling with happiness. Jumin’s former assistant really was much better off with coffee.

“Yeah, I’m feeling a lot better, thanks to Saeran.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you two found each other. Though, how did you manage to miss each other until recently?”

“I’m not sure.”

“It was because I didn’t want to be noticed,” Saeran said. “I avoided Saeyoung’s friends during high school. Then… then after we came back together, I avoided you guys, too. Seeing Yoosung was just happenstance.”

“And a good one, at that. Yoosung has been more productive lately.”

“Aw, Jaehee. You didn’t have to tell him that.”

“Maybe your grades will start improving, too.”

“What’s up, everyone?” Zen asked as he came downstairs.

“Good morning again, Zen,” Yoosung said. It was such a peaceful atmosphere in the cafe that early, when no one had shown up yet. Saeran decided he liked it this way.

“Good morning. And good morning to you, Saeran.”

“Morning. Have you eaten yet?” Saeran asked, smirking.

“Yeah, I have,” Zen replied.

“Good. You need to keep yourself healthy so Jaehee doesn’t have to worry.” A coy response, an allusion to the phone call this morning. Saeran wondered where Zen would point the conversation, now that this track was open.

“What, did you hear that this morning?”

“Yep.”

“Saeran! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It didn’t seem like something I needed to say. It wasn’t my conversation to be listening to, anyway. But your walls are really thin.” Yoosung’s eyes got wide as shock and embarrassment took hold. Then he shook himself out of his reverie, checked the time on his phone, and went behind the counter.

“Time for my shift to start.”

“Have fun,” Zen said, watching Yoosung move into the kitchen. Jaehee went with him to brew the coffee.

“Have fun, Yoosung,” Saeran parroted. He looked at Zen and found the older man staring him down as menacingly as he could. He had half a mind to take Zen on, then decided that that was a dumb idea. Whatever Zen wanted to say, Saeran could handle easily.

“Listen, Saeran. Yoosung is a precious person to a lot of people, myself included. If you hurt him in any way, I won’t hesitate to come after you.”

“And what are you going to do if I do end up hurting him?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Is this your attempt at reminding me that you were in a motorcycle gang?”

“This is my being protective of my friends. Keep it in mind, Saeran. I’ll hunt you down to the ends of the earth if I find Yoosung crying because of you.” The look in those intense red eyes was enough to make Saeran understand that Zen was being completely serious.

“Okay. I’ll do my best not to hurt him. But if I do, you’ll have to get in line: I’m going after myself, first, for being such an idiot,” he said. They stared each other down for a moment longer, until Zen relented and smiled.

“You really do care for him, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

“I heard about what you did for him awhile back, when you got that creep to leave him alone. Nice work. Though, it would’ve been nice if he hadn’t then gone and told his friends not to come here. Apparently, bad rumors are spreading about this place,” Zen said.

“Really? Sorry,” Saeran said. He hadn’t meant for things to get that bad. Immediately, he started considering ideas that could fix the problem, but he couldn’t think of anything he could do that wouldn’t start anything worse.

“It’s alright. Jaehee and I have been discussing what’s going on, and we’ve decided to host a talent night. I’ll be performing after the awards are handed out, and a lot of my fans have already RSVPd to come.”

“Wow. That’s really cool. When is this happening?”

“It’ll start up in a couple weeks. We’re trying to spread the word right now.”

“Got it. I’ll tell Miyoung. She’ll be able to help plenty.”

“Good idea. You have more of a direct connection to her than I do. Oh, by the way. Since it’s going to be so busy that night, Jaehee wants you to help Yoosung.”

“Work?”

“Yup. It won’t be hard. All you’ll have to do is wash the dishes that come through.”

“Just washing dishes? Sounds easy enough. Tell her I’ll do it.”

“That’s good to hear,” Jaehee said, coming in from the kitchen. She was wearing an apron that was covered in chocolate, her long hair tied back into a functional bun. Saeran watched her move with confidence and happiness. According to his brother, she had been more robotic when she was working under Jumin, but after meeting Zen, she quit her job and opened the cafe.

“You’re not just starting batter now, are you?” Zen asked, concerned.

“No. I had some left over and offered it to Yoosung, since he likes sweet things. Then he dropped some on me. That’s all. Anyway, Saeran. I’d like you to come in after school when you can, so that you can get some experience washing dishes before our talent night,” Jaehee said. She went to the door and flipped the sign from ‘CLOSED’ to ‘OPEN’.

“Got it.” Saeran watched as several people came through the door before Jaehee had managed to get back behind the counter. Yoosung had tied an apron around himself, and stood at the cash register, ready to make coffee. Saeran moved off to one side, finding a table he could stay at until his usual time for getting coffee.

He stayed put, working on his new game idea and starting some coding tests to make sure the sprites would move correctly through a simulated space. Then, he decided he was ready to actually put in a background for the characters to move through. He wanted to make it right then, but he needed his art stuff for that, and that was all back in his room, aside from his sketchbook.

Pretty soon, it was time for him to get his coffee. He hopped up, leaving his stuff in the corner. Normally, it didn’t take him long to get to his classes, but he had the car. Yoosung had his coffee ready for him.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” They made eye contact, and Yoosung smiled. Saeran remembered what it felt like to hold his hand and blushed. He still couldn’t believe he had done that! He looked away suddenly and walked off.

He immediately regretted doing so because it was so him to just run away from his problems like that, especially when Yoosung was involved. So, Saeran looked back and smiled at Yoosung, to assure him that nothing was actually wrong. Yoosung smiled back, relieved.

Drinking his coffee, Saeran finally felt like he had the energy to handle things. He ran another test and realized that his coding was off. One fix later, and there were more errors.

“Take me on,” he growled through his teeth, hunching his body and slipping into the zone.

He was pulled from it by a hand shaking his shoulder. Saeran looked up to see Yoosung standing beside him.

“Is that the thing you were working on yesterday?”

“Yeah, it is. I’ve gotten some work done on it, but there’s not much left that I can do before I get home.” And he had to come back to this shop to wash dishes so that he wouldn’t be as much of a failure later.

He didn’t know he would be a failure. He had to practice so he could get better.

“You looked intense. It was really… cool,” Yoosung said, trailing off. He blushed so easily. Even a simple compliment like saying something was cool made him blush. Saeran put his laptop back in his bag.

“Yeah? I hope the game comes out well enough for you to like it.”

“It will be! Definitely!”

“You seem sure of that.”

“Well, yeah. I mean, you’re really good at coding, Saeran. It’ll be awesome!”

“Thanks. I’m not as good as my brother, though. He can code anything, no problem.”

“Maybe, but he’s not the one making me a totally cool game.” There was no blush reaction that time, when he said ‘cool.’ How strange. Yoosung really was an enigma.

“Anyway, we should get going if you’re off your shift. Traffic’s going to be picking up soon.”

“Right! Let’s go.” They walked out, saying good-bye to Jaehee as she easily handled making drinks. Getting into his car and starting it, Saeran thought more about what Yoosung had said. He didn’t blush when he just gave out compliments. However, the second ‘cool’ wasn’t even about him. Was Saeran the reason? That would make sense, he supposed. He decided to stop trying to read into it.

It was bugging him, though, because he could feel that there was more to that comment.

“I’m working for the talent night. Washing dishes.”

“Yeah, Jaehee told me. I’m glad you’ll be helping out. It’s gonna be a pain, trying to get everything done with so few people. Plus, we get to hang out more, so that’ll be good.”

“Yeah.” Another possibility on the ‘cool’ thing popped into Saeran’s mind.

“Hey, when you said I looked cool earlier, coding… did you…” he almost stopped. He forced himself to keep going. “Did you actually mean to say ‘cool,’ or something else?” Yoosung froze beside him. The blush was back. So he had meant something else.

“Uh. Um, it’s nothing, really. Nothing important.”

“Is that so? You’re blushing really hard for something that’s ‘not important.’ So what did you mean to say?”

“I suppose I should tell you, since you asked,” Yoosung murmured. Answers were coming. Saeran remained silent, letting him get there on his own. He wasn’t sure yet if Yoosung reacted like Saeyoung did, desperately clinging to anything he could to change the subject, so he wasn’t going to feed him a line.

“I… I was going to say that you...” he mumbled the rest.

“What?”

“You looked...” More mumbling.

“I didn’t quite catch that. The engine’s kinda loud,” Saeran said, as a light turned red. He slowed to a stop, the engine’s noise dropping for a moment.

“I thought you looked really hot!” Yoosung said loudly, realizing right after that the car had become more quiet.

“Oh. Thank you.” Saeran wasn’t quite sure what to do with this information. What did people normally do? Whenever a movie character said another was hot, they said it with more confidence, not because of prompting. He had no idea what to do. Even the fake stuff didn’t exist for this situation.

“I’m sorry,” Yoosung said.

“No, it’s fine. I just… you really think I’m hot?”

“Yeah. I always have.” Always?

“How long is always?”

“It’s… since Saeyoung introduced you to us. I thought you looked really nice, and you stood up for me when Saeyoung was teasing me. I’ve kinda liked you from the start. I’m really happy we’re soulmates.”

“That long, huh? I’m flattered. To be honest, I noticed you, too.” Saeran stepped on the gas as the light turned green, determined to get fully across the intersection before a jam happened. He made it, thankfully. Looking over at Yoosung, he saw that the blond was plastered to his seat, fear plastered to his face.

“Holy shit. I don’t want to ever have to drive,” he said.

“You get used to it.”

“Right. Anyway, you noticed me, too?”

“Yeah. You greeted me like I wasn’t a monster. Like I was human,” Saeran said.

“You talked to me like an adult.”

“I guess we were made for each other. We’re the only people in the world who see each other as people.”

“That makes it sound like we have really low standards.” Yoosung laughed. Saeran laughed with him.

“I think those are the highest standards a person can have when they want a relationship with someone. Any kind of relationship, really.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, Jumin didn’t really see Jaehee as a real human, I think. And that was a problem.”

“Right. There are people who only see others as tools, or they seem like they never cared about you, or they never actually saw you as anything more than a means to an end,” Saeran said. He could see their faces in his mind as he spoke, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

“Saeran,” Yoosung said.

“Sorry. I… I’ve had some bad experiences like that.”

“Yeah.”

“We’re almost there.”

“Yeah.” Saeran pulled into a parking spot, then stopped the car and got out. Yoosung followed suit, his usual smile on his face. Saeran could see that he was still concerned over what Saeran had said in the car.

What was it about this kid that made him spill so easily?

His class brought no answers. Yoosung sat beside him in the library, actually doing work for his own classes while Saeran kept coding and working on his present game. After his afternoon class, Saeran headed to Jaehee’s after dropping Yoosung off at his apartment.

“I’m here!” he called, moving behind the counter.

“Excellent. Afternoon tea just ended, so there are plenty of dishes to wash. Have you done this before?”

“Yeah. I help Miyoung sometimes.” He had noticed over the past year that Saeyoung’s friends liked it when he mentioned either him or Miyoung. It had to do with credibility, and them trusting each other.

Saeran also noticed that he got a more positive response when he mentioned Miyoung.

“Good. Soap is down there, under the sink. The first sink is for washing, the second for rinsing, and the third is for soaking in bleach. The dishes are supposed to soak for a minute, but if it gets busy, just make sure things are clean.”

“Got it.”

“You’ll also need to go out and get the dishes that I’ve put in a bin underneath the counter.”

“Okay. Thank you, Jaehee.”

“You’re welcome. Oh, and if you’d like, there are hooks on the wall over there that you can hang your coat on.”

“Alright.” Saeran didn’t bother taking his coat off. Instead, he found the bin that Jaehee had been talking about, brought it over to the sinks, then filled them to start washing.

It was repetitive work, but he found himself enjoying it quite a bit. There were a couple moments when a number of dishes would come in at once. Saeran found a simple pleasure in watching the dishes disappear from the counters beside him.

During a quiet moment, he heard Jaehee receive a call.

“Yes, he’s with me. I’m at my cafe, where else? Then don’t make it so easy.” There was a sly smirk on her face. Saeran could tell the conversation was about him, and that meant that Jaehee was owning his brother. He flashed her a thumbs up, which she returned gleefully. He guessed that years of suffering his brother’s existence made this moment all the more enjoyable.

“Saeyoung just called. Did you tell him you were coming here?”

“No. He worries too much. I can take care of myself.”

“I see. It certainly is strange to have siblings, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, especially when you barely have to look in the mirror to see what you look like.” Jaehee chuckled, then turned to her counter.

“I think it’s a good thing. Saeyoung will have to learn to let you go sometimes, and hope that you always come home.”

“He doesn’t have to hope for that. I don’t have anywhere else to go.” Saeran kept washing dishes until Jaehee sent him home.

When he got inside, his brother tackled him in a hug.

“I was so worried! I haven’t seen you in days~”

“It hasn’t been that long.”

“It was! I didn’t see you yesterday, because you were out the door so fast in the morning, which means the last time I saw you was dinner two nights ago.”

“Oh.” Saeran hugged his brother back. “Sorry. I told Jaehee you worry too much. Guess I gave you a reason, though, huh?”

“Yeah. Don’t disappear on me like that, okay?”

“… I won’t.” They stayed like that for awhile. Saeran debated telling Saeyoung that he was dating Yoosung, that they were soulmates, destined for a life together, but he didn’t. This moment was for them, just the two of them.

Saeran knew, in that moment, that he could never replace his brother, no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awwwww, so cuuuute. i had five pages written and i didn't know where to go until my mind was like, let's cause trouble for jaehee. so this is happening. i work as a dishwasher myself :3
> 
> comment on your favorite lines, parts, or whatever, if you want to :D:D:D and thank you all for reading


	8. Color in a Date

“You don’t have to. I’m just here until the talent night,” Saeran said, pushing Jaehee’s hand away.

“Saeran, you’re my employee. I’m going to pay you for the job you’re doing,” Jaehee replied, shoving a check into Saeran’s hand. “Besides, having some extra money on hand isn’t such a bad thing. You can afford gifts and nights out.” He knew exactly what she was implying, and he tried not to appreciate it, but she had a point. Saeran sighed, defeated.

“Alright. Thanks.” He slipped the check into his pocket, said good-bye, and left the coffee shop. It was about four on Sunday. There was less than a week left to the talent night on Friday. Saeran figured he should go to the bank to cash the check. Getting into his car, he pulled it out again, staring at the amount. It was marked for a couple hundred dollars. That was enough for a night out, alright. Saeran pulled out his phone.

“Hey, Yoosung,” he said once the blond picked up.

“Hey Saeran. How are you?”

“I’m fine. I just got a check from Jaehee. There’s a decent amount of money on it. Do you… uh, would you like to go out to dinner tonight?” Smooth, real smooth.

“I’d love to!” Saeran suddenly realized that he had no idea where to go or when. He figured he could solve that problem later.

“Great. I’ll pick you up at six.”

“Okay! Oh, are we going to a formal place? I don’t really have anything super classy...”

“No, it’s not. Just wear something comfortable.”

“Got it. See you at six.”

“See you.” That left him with about two hours to figure out where restaurants existed in this city. He had gone to one before, with Saeyoung and his friends, but that one was fairly classy. Saeyoung had afforded it with his intelligence agency funds that no one was supposed to know about. 

Just like no one was supposed to know about his Honey Buddha stash.

Saeran drove to the bank, intending to cash his check and get out with actual cash. The bank was busy, and he ended up having to stand in line for awhile. During that time, he looked up various restaurants that were in his price range, picking one that claimed to have a good variety of foods. He didn’t want Yoosung to feel stuck for choices, but he also knew that too many was just as bad.

The line moved along, until it stopped when he was behind one person waiting behind some moron currently with the teller.

“What do you mean, you can’t give me money for this check!?”

“Sir, it’s a fake check. I can’t deposit it.”

“Like hell, it’s fake!” The man was getting up in arms over the credibility of his check, a move that made it seem even more fake than it apparently was. Saeran checked his watch. It was almost five. He needed to get that money and go.

“Sir, please calm down---”

“I am not going to calm down until I get my money!”

“You can’t get money with a fake check, dipshit. Now get out of line and do something useful,” Saeran hissed. He really needed to get going. He didn’t want to be late for his first-ever real date.

“Don’t tell me what to do, boy!” the man growled turning around. Saeran stepped to the side so that their eyes could meet, and glared. The man tucked tail immediately.

“...fine. But I’m never coming here again!”

“You’ll have to to shut your account down!” Saeran called. The person in front of him moved forward, and got their own check into an account. Then it was finally Saeran’s turn.

“Thank you for handling him,” the teller said.

“It was nothing. I hate people like him,” Saeran replied. The teller was young, and from her posture, apparently interested in him. He wasn’t interested in her, though.

“What can I do for you?” Time to shut her down.

“I need this check in cash. Taking my boyfriend out tonight.”

“Oh. Right away, sir.” She pulled cash out matching the amount on the check, noticeably less flirty the entire time. Saeran took the money and stuffed it in a pocket.

“Thank you. Have a good day.”

“You too.” She moved on to the next customer, and Saeran went to his car.

“You! You’re the kid from before! I’ve got something to say to you,” said the man with the fake check. Saeran blew air through his mouth, exasperated. He glared at the man again, but it didn’t work a second time.

“What do you want?”

“I want you to pay for humiliating me in there!”

“I didn’t humiliate you. You were the one causing a scene.” Saeran walked to his car, hoping to get out of the confrontation with as little violence as possible. He held back a laugh when he thought of how he would have reacted a year and a half ago. The man would probably be dead about now, and Saeran would have been pulling out of the parking lot like nothing happened.

Even so, he blocked the first punch.

“That was a mistake.” He folded the man’s hand onto his arm, breaking the wrist between. Then he pushed off, leaving the man screaming in the parking lot.

“Hello, emergency? There’s a man with a broken wrist at the Seoul Bank. He needs medical attention.” Saeran left, preferring to let the authorities handle things at that point. This might come back to bite him, but there were cameras everywhere. Even if there were a court case, he wouldn’t end up being convicted. Or at least he hoped.

On his way to Yoosung’s apartment, Saeran stopped by a flower shop to pick up a bouquet. He had to get a pretty cheap one, in order to keep enough money to afford their date, but he made sure to get one that had a bunch of different colors.

“Find your soulmate?” the shopkeeper asked when he requested colors.

“Yeah,” Saeran said. He paid for the bouquet, and kept going to Yoosung’s. Traffic was heavier than he was used to, but he pushed through as best he could, making it to the apartment parking lot with five minutes to spare.

“Shit,” he muttered. Saeran bolted inside, hit the elevator button, and slammed his hand onto the 18 button gently. He didn’t want to break it. The elevator zoomed up the building, stopping at the eighteenth floor. Saeran walked to the fourth door. He checked the time, reading 6:01. Almost perfect timing. He knocked.

“Saeran! It’s good to see you.”

“Good to see you, too, Yoosung. You look good.” Saeran skimmed over Yoosung quickly, trying to see if there were any differences. His eyes caught on Yoosung’s clips.

“Thanks, you too.”

“Did you get new clips? They look different.”

“Oh! Yeah, my mom sent these to me. Do you like them?”

“I love them.” Saeran paused. What had he just said? He ran the sentence over in his mind. He had said he loved the hairclips, not Yoosung. It was too soon to say such things. Saeran wasn’t even sure if it was true, yet.

“...th-thanks.” Yoosung was blushing.

“Uh, here. I got these… for you.” His confidence had run right past Yoosung and thrown itself out the window on the other side of the apartment. Saeran kept his eyes fixed on its departure site, as if his gaze could bring that confidence back.

“Wow, there are so many colors!” It was kind of hard to look anywhere but Yoosung when he was fawning over something. He looked so cute, with his eyes wide and sparkling, mouth agape in pure enthusiasm. Saeran wanted to pull him close, but doing so would crush the flowers.

“We should get these in a vase!” Yoosung took the bouquet to his kitchen, searching the cabinets for a vase. Failing to find one, he grabbed a tall glass, filling it with water and putting the flowers in. He set it on the counter, where it threatened to tip over. He fixed it, but the flowers refused their tiny prison, trying to tip the glass over no matter how many times Yoosung tried to get them to behave.

“Here,” Saeran said, taking the glass. He set it in the sink, leaning the flowers against the side of the basin. “Now, even if they do fall over, water won’t get everywhere.”

“Ah, thank you! You’re really clever, Saeran.” Saeran blushed, suddenly thankful that his reaction wasn’t as strong as Yoosung’s was.

“It’s nothing. I’d do anything for you.” Shut up, Saeran, he berated himself. Yoosung blushed hard, smiling and laughing. Saeran laughed with him as panic bubbled up.

“We – we should get going,” Yoosung said, making his way to the front door.

“Yeah, we should.” Saeran left first, waiting in the hall as Yoosung went to lock his door.

“Do you have the key?” Saeran asked.

“Uh.” Yoosung patted his pockets, eyes widening in fear and realization. “Shoot.” He didn’t swear. Saeran found it oddly endearing. Yoosung disappeared back into his apartment, coming out a moment later with his wallet and keys.

“Almost forgot this, too, heh.” He smiled sheepishly. Saeran rolled his eyes jokingly, then offered his hand.

“Shall we go?”

“Yeah!” Yoosung grabbed hold, smiling. “This feels nice.”

“It does.” They got into the elevator, riding it down to the lobby, holding hands the whole way. Saeran breathed deeply, relaxing himself. Yoosung squeezed his hand in reassurance, looking at him with that expression that made everything seem so… inconsequential. Like everything would always work out, in the end. Saeran supposed things had worked out pretty well, so far.

They stepped out into the lobby, as Mr. Seong came through the front door. Saeran remembered him well enough. He had been there for two very embarrassing moments in this apartment building.

“Hello, Mr. Seong. How are you this evening?”

“I’m fine, Yoosung. Have you eaten dinner, yet?”

“We were just going out to dinner.”

“I see. Have you patched things up, then?”

“Yeah. Everything’s fine. Thanks for worrying about us.”

“And what’s your name, young man?” Mr. Seong asked Saeran.

“I’m Saeran, sir.” The older man laughed.

“Please, call me Mr. Seong.”

“Mr. Seong, then.” Saeran tightened his grip on Yoosung’s hand. He didn’t want to make a bad impression on this guy, especially since he was close enough with Yoosung that they were on a speaking basis of more than a simple ‘hello.’

“Have a nice date, you two.”

“And you have a lovely evening, Mr. Seong,” Yoosung called back.

“Good bye,” Saeran said weakly. He turned toward the door, having encountered more people today than he wanted to, ready to go out to dinner and spend time with his boyfriend.

It had been a few days, and ‘boyfriend’ was still a new sensation for him.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m fine. I just wanted to make a good impression, is all.”

“Oh. Don’t worry, I’m sure he likes you.” Yoosung was smiling again.

“Really?”

“Yeah! I mean, that was the first time he’s met you. You didn’t do anything to aggravate him, either.”

“Okay.” Saeran nodded, trying to convince himself that Yoosung’s neighbor did not, in fact, have a problem with him. “Come on, let’s go. I’m getting hungry.”

“Me too.” They got into Saeran’s car, driving to the restaurant he had looked up almost two hours ago. Pulling into a parking space was, thankfully, not too difficult. Even for the weekend, this place looked like it had some space left. They headed inside, Yoosung once again holding onto Saeran’s hand.

“Welcome to Tosokchon. Table for two?” Saeran was asked as they walked through the door. A waiter was standing at a podium, and grabbed two menus.

“Yes, please.”

“Right this way. We have a table ready now.” They followed the waiter to a table a ways into the restaurant. Yoosung let go of Saeran’s hand and sat down. Saeran’s hand felt cold and empty without anything to hold.

Two glasses of water were set down, and they were asked if they’d like anything to drink.

“Can I get black tea?” Yoosung asked.

“I’ll have Ph D. Pepper,” Saeran said. It was most of what was available in his house, and he wanted something familiar, since he’d never been here before.

“I’ll get those for you right away.” Saeran grabbed the glass of water. At least his hand didn’t feel empty. It wasn’t the same though. He took a sip to seem less awkward, then set the glass down.

“This place is nice,” Yoosung said, looking around. “The décor is so vibrant.”

“Yeah, it is. I like the reds everywhere. They go together.”

“Right? And the chairs are super comfortable, the glasses look really nice. Even the designs on the silverware are cool.” Saeran looked down at the fork, knife, and spoon. They were pretty cool, and if he was honestly admiring silverware, he had to be pretty nervous. He supposed Yoosung was feeling the same way. Saeran searched his mind for something to say.

“I’ve decided to grow my hair out, so it returns to its natural color.”

“Really? Oh, yeah, I can see your roots a little bit!”

“Yeah. I want to see the red, now that I can actually, you know, see red.”

“Yeah! Maybe I should grow my natural color out, too.”

“You’re naturally a brunet, right?”

“Yup! My whole family has brown hair. What about yours?”

“Saeyoung and I got our hair from my mom, I think...” Saeran breathed deeply. “I don’t know much about my dad. Saeyoung says he has a lot of power, but that’s it. Mom didn’t have gold eyes, so we might have gotten that from him?”

“Your eyes are green, though,” Yoosung said. “A really pretty green.”

“They changed, thanks to some medicine I took a while back.”

“Oh. That’s really weird.” Yoosung chuckled. Saeran laughed quietly. He mulled over the menu, considering what to order. He picked something out, watching Yoosung do the same.

“Are you ready to order?”

“Saeran?”

“Yeah. I’ll have a steak, medium rare.”

“And I’ll get spicy fish soup,” Yoosung said.

“Right away.”

“You like fish?”

“Yeah. I like eating seafood.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“And you like steak?”

“It’s what I ordered last time I went out to eat. I trust it,” Saeran said, waiting for Yoosung’s reaction. The other man nodded sagely, like that actually made sense to him.

“I get it. I used to only want vanilla ice cream as a kid, because it was my first, and I knew that it was a good thing.” So it did make sense to him.

“Yeah, it’s like that.”

“So what about other foods? Anything else you like? Ooh, or maybe dislike?” Yoosung leaned on the table, eyes shining with excitement. Saeran smiled. He was infectious, that was for sure.

“I don’t really like bread. Had way too much as a kid.” Good job, Saeran. Keep it light, and don’t let the truth through.

“Oh, man. I hate onions, personally. They make me cry, and not in a good way.”

“There’s a good crying?” Saeran asked skeptically.

“Yeah, like when you’re so happy that you can’t physically handle it. I think that’s why people cry on their wedding days.”

“I see. Is that why you cry so much?”

“I don’t cry that often!” Yoosung protested. “But, yeah, sometimes it is from being super happy.” Saeran couldn’t help but laugh as Yoosung pouted adorably.

“You’re too cute sometimes,” he said. It was warmer in the restaurant than it was outside, and it started to bear down on Saeran in his jacket. He unzipped it to let some air in.

“It’s almost sweater season, huh? I remember you looked good in those, too,” Yoosung said, looking down at Saeran’s shirt, and then back up at him. Saeran was about to reply, but their food arrived right then, and they dug in.

Yoosung grabbed his spoon, dipping it into the bowl of fish soup, and lifted it to his lips. He blew on it to cool it off, then sipped. Saeran cut into his steak absently, watching Yoosung beautifully perform a perfectly ordinary action. Yoosung caught him staring and smirked.

“Want some?”

“What? No, you’re the one who ordered it--” Saeran pulled back a bit, trying to dodge the incoming spoon.

“Aw, come on, let me feed you. Just a bit?”

“...Fine.” It sounded romantic, the way Yoosung said it. Saeran supposed that was the intent. He leaned in and opened his mouth, closing it around the spoon. Yoosung lifted it a bit, then pulled it out. Saeran swallowed. The soup wasn’t too bad.

“It’s good,” he said. Yoosung grinned.

“I’m glad you like it.” Saeran finally stabbed a piece of steak, looking Yoosung dead in the eye as he ate it. Then he took the next piece and lifted it to Yoosung’s lips. Yoosung opened his mouth obligingly, taking the steak off the fork easily. He hummed appreciatively.

“Maybe next time we eat, I can cook for you. I can’t afford a whole lot, but I’m sure I can pull something together.”

“You like to cook?”

“It’s a hobby of mine. Oh, right! I recently joined a club at school that bakes a lot of sweets! I saw a poster for it and thought it sounded fun!”

“Yeah, that does sound fun.”

“You should come with me sometime. We can bake sweets together, and eat them afterward.”

“Together, huh?” Images of leaning over Yoosung to help him flashed through Saeran’s mind. Kneading dough, rolling, even just putting the pan in the oven. “Sounds good to me.” He smiled. Yoosung smiled back.

Once they finished their dinner, the waiter came by asking after dessert. Yoosung jumped on the chance, and the dessert menus came out. Saeran perused it, figuring he would get a crème brûlée, but then he saw a magical thing: fried ice cream. That was what he was having.

“Bet I can guess what you’re getting,” Yoosung said.

“What?”

“The fried ice cream.”

“Good guess,” Saeran said. Yoosung grinned.

“What about you? What are you getting?”

“Take a guess.”

“You’re an enigma. There’s no way I can guess what you’ll be getting.”

“Hehe, alright. I’m getting the molten lava cake. It sounds interesting.”

“Yeah, it does. How is it molten?”

“Not sure.” The waiter came back to take their orders, then left once they’d said what they wanted.

“You didn’t ask him what made the molten lava cake molten?” Saeran asked.

“Nah. I want to be surprised!”

“Doesn’t knowing what it is kind of ruin that?”

“Not if I don’t know what exactly to expect. The mystery of what it is makes it more fun. That’s part of why I like hanging out with you so much. You always surprise me, and just when I think I know what you’re going to do.”

“Really?” Saeran watched Yoosung’s face drop, as the blond must have realized something.

“Oh! Th-that’s not the only reason, of course! You’re really interesting Saeran. I like hanging out with you.”

“Yeah, no, I get what you mean. I like hanging out with you, too. Though, I don’t think I’m the mysterious one in this relationship.”

“What? You mean me? Oh, no. I’m an open book,” Yoosung said, waving him off. Their desserts appeared, and Yoosung dug into his cake. Rather, he tried to.

“Yoosung,” Saeran said, grabbing his fork hand. He guided it through the cake, pulling the fork up to Yoosung’s mouth. Yoosung watched Saeran with his wide, violet eyes, opening his mouth as the cake got close. Saeran whispered,“I can barely guess what you’re going to order.”

Yoosung mumbled something through the cake. It sounded like a question.

“What?” Saeran cocked his head in confusion. Yoosung started blushing like he had said something embarrassing. He swallowed hard.

“Your ice cream is going to melt,” he said.

“Right.” Saeran finally dug into his ice cream, taking a bite of it. “It tastes good.” They finished their meal with a comfortable silence between them. Saeran tried to convince himself it was comfortable by Yoosung’s expression, which seemed okay. The check came, and Saeran paid for it.

“You’re always buying things for me. I want to buy you something, too, sometime.”

“You can pay for our next date, then. Ready to go?”

“Yeah.” They walked out and went to the car. Yoosung opened the driver’s side for Saeran.

“Thanks,” Saeran said.

“No problem.”

The drive back was as quiet as dessert ended up being. Saeran glanced over at Yoosung, who was looking out the window nervously.

“Something wrong?” Saeran asked. Did he do something wrong? He had learned not to ask if it was him, specifically. That just led to the person denying vehemently that he had done anything wrong at all, even though he had at times.

“N-no, nothing’s wrong, per se. I was just… thinking.”

“About what?”

“About… um… ki--” he clammed up. Okay, maybe Yoosung was easier to read than Saeran thought. He smirked.

“About kissing me?”

“Y-yeah, and…”

“There’s more?”

“You might not like me if I say it. It’s… a bit naughty.”

“Oh. I’m not, um, comfortable with that… yet?” Or ever, Saeran thought. He knew that he was attracted to Yoosung, but actually wanting so much physical contact? That was a completely different story. Saeran focused on the road.

“That’s okay! It’s way too soon right now. I would rather have a boyfriend than a lover.” Saeran looked over at Yoosung, surprised, and nearly jerked the car into the other lane when he saw the intensity in Yoosung’s eyes.

“That --- thank you. You’re a good person, Yoosung,” Saeran said.

“You are, too,” Yoosung replied, in that quiet way of his that made Saeran think he was telling a secret and the whole world at the same time. Saeran smiled. He made it to Yoosung’s apartment without any trouble, and held hands with the blond the whole way up to his place.

“Thanks for the date. I had a great time,” Yoosung said.

“Me too.” Saeran leaned in tentatively, not sure if he should try to kiss the boy or not. Yoosung leaned in a bit, too, closing his eyes slowly. Saeran took that as an okay, and pressed his lips gently to Yoosung’s, barely touching at first. Yoosung kissed back, deepening it.

They didn’t pull back all the way, staying close enough to share their breath. Yoosung tilted his head down, breathing harder than normal. He looked up at Saeran through his lashes and smiled.

“You’re too cute, Yoosung,” Saeran said, hooking a finger under Yoosung’s chin. He kissed him again, then stepped back. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Yoosung said. “See you.” Saeran waved as he got onto the elevator, and watched as Yoosung turned into his apartment and closed the door.

Yeah, it had been a pretty good date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohhhhhh my goooooosh. i loved writing this chapter :3 ive got plans for the next couple chapters, i think, and then another maybe, and then christmas. this is gonna keep going for awhile.


	9. Color in a Performance

When Saeran arrived at work an hour before the talent night was due to start, it was already packed. He looked at the full tables, listening to a conversation of people introducing themselves as they drank coffee and tea.

“What is going on?” he asked Jaehee, hoping for some sort of explanation as to why so many people were here early.

“They’re all waiting for the talent night. There are people coming in constantly. I don’t have the room for everyone,” Jaehee said. She laughed like she does when she’s nervous and starting to break. Saeran looked around for Zen so he could calm his wife down before she keeled over or something. He found the silver haired man with the (now recognized) weird red eyes talking to some fans of his and signing autographs with an air of humility that was completely against his usual narcissistic tendencies.

“Do you want me to get Zen for you?” Saeran asked. Jaehee looked at her husband, then nodded, going back to making coffee. Saeran walked over to Zen as carefully as he could, trying not to hit anyone on the way. He almost succeeded, but knocked a girl in the back of the head.

“Hey! You should apologize when you bump someone!” the girl said angrily as Saeran turned to apologize. His words died on his tongue and got replaced.

“I was about to, until you rudely interrupted me!” He mimicked her voice, saying, “You should apologize when you interrupt someone!” She was visibly not happy with this turn of events.

“Sorry for bumping you,” Saeran spat, then went back to getting to Zen, who had moved. After relocation him, Saeran got moving again, just in time to feel a bit of wind off his shoulder. He didn’t bother with dealing with the girl again.

“So you won’t even listen to my apology!?”

“I’ve already moved on.” He got to Zen. “Hey, Zen. Jaehee needs you.”

“Alright, I’ll be right there.” Saeran almost smiled at how easy it was to get Zen to go to Jaehee. It was kind of sweet. How easy would it be to get him to run to Yoosung? Or for Yoosung to come to him? He supposed it depended on circumstance. As Saeran turned around, he saw the girl from before right in front of him.

“What is your problem!?” she asked.

“I was going to ask the same thing. You should get back to your seat before someone comes in and thinks it’s open,” Saeran said, looking pointedly at her chair. She gasped and ran to it, making it just before someone else managed to lay claim. He got to work, finally. Zen was calming Jaehee, assuring her that everything would be fine. Saeran passed Yoosung on his way to the kitchen, watching his boyfriend for a moment as he made someone a cup of coffee.

“Hey, Yoosung,” he said, once the coffee was done.

“Hey, Saeran,” was the hurried reply. The orders weren’t stopping, but Yoosung still managed to smile at him. Saeran smiled back.

There were tons of dishes waiting to be washed, but Saeran had been practicing getting his speed up. He took his jacket off, then loaded a number of them onto a rack and sent them through a steamer to the side of the sink, washing a few more in the sink itself before setting them down to dry. The ones in the steamer were immediately put into an out bin, and brought to the front once it was full. He kept up the cycle for the hour that was left, slowly working the ridiculous pileup down. He had to bring in more dishes every so often.

“How are you holding up back here?” Jaehee asked at one point.

“Doing fine,” Saeran replied. He felt his bare arms tingling from her gaze. He rubbed them down quickly after she went back to work, then got back to work himself.

Once the talent show started, the dishes weren’t coming in so much. Saeran figured that it was because everyone was absorbed in the talent. He didn’t know what was going on, and just kept washing dishes. He didn’t notice Yoosung come into the kitchen until his arms were wrapped around Saeran’s waist.

“You’re warm,” Yoosung said, burying his head in Saeran’s neck.

“Yeah?” Saeran fought back the urge to run and grab his jacket. Yoosung was his boyfriend, he was safe to be around, safe to have the tattoo around.

“You doing alright back here?”

“Yeah. Nothing I can’t handle, the break in dishes coming in is nice.”

“I know, right? No one’s willing to move while people are performing. I don’t have anything to do until the end of the performance.”

“What about you? Have you been doing alright?”

“Yep. No one’s been complaining too much. I’ve had a couple people talk to me about the rumors, wanting to know if this place is really haunted, or infested with rats, or whatever else has popped up. I’ve managed to alleviate them. Though,” Yoosung stifled a laugh, “one girl came up saying the rats are actually human, and one of them’s in the back. What did you do?” He wasn’t accusing Saeran, judging by his tone.

“I ran into her by accident and she won’t let it go.”

“Oh, wow.”

“Yoosung, I need to get to the steamer. Let go.” Yoosung let go, leaning against the counter on the opposite side.

“Like she won’t?” Saeran chuckled.

“Exactly.” He pulled the dishes out, waving some steam off, then set them carefully in a bin, trying not to make too much noise. It was about half full. Saeran pushed another rack full of dishes into the steamer, setting it down to wash them off again. Yoosung put his hand on one of the dishes, snatching it away after a few seconds.

“That’s hot,” he said.

“Yeah, it is,” Saeran replied. “You’re not going to watch the performances?”

“Nah, I’d rather be back here with you, at least until Zen comes on.”

“I see. Do you know what he’s doing?”

“No idea, but apparently, he’s gotten some of his friends from the theater to join in.”

“Cool.” Saeran kept washing, the conversation between him and Yoosung coming and going. At first, the silences between them had been awkward, but they were past that point, knowing that neither of them was hiding anything, or nervous. The silences between bits of talking were comfortable. When performances ended, and the next act got ready to go up, Yoosung would go to the front and make coffee and tea, returning when the next performance showed up.

“Our last performance of the night is a short play, to be performed by Zen and his troupe.”

“Saeran, come watch with me,” Yoosung said. Saeran came out and leaned against the counter with him, watching as two of the other actors went up on stage and started the show. They went through a story with drama and intrigue, singing and acting out what Saeran thought of as a soap opera. It was interesting, to say the least.

At the end of it, everyone started clapping. Saeran headed into the back again, getting to the dishes before everything started piling in. He got a solid fifteen seconds to breathe before bringing in bin after bin of dishes, hardly able to put them on the rack before he had to bring in another. He turned to grab yet another one, but stopped when he saw Zen bringing it in.

“You look like you need the help,” the actor said, setting the bin down and washing dishes in the sink. Saeran pulled a rack out of the steamer, putting them into a clean bin and bringing it out. Together, they managed to get every dish cleaned before Saeran was expecting to be done. Jaehee had closed the shop an hour beforehand, counting the money in her office, and Yoosung was currently vacuuming the front.

“So, how do you like working here?” Zen asked once they were done.

“It’s pretty good.”

“I know college students aren’t supposed to have jobs to help pay for their tuition, but I think, as long as you don’t use the money on tuition or other college expenses, that it should be fine for you to come in and work a more regular schedule? Since you’re washing dishes, you won’t be on any shifts with Yoosung---”

“It’s better not to work with friends, anyway, right?”

“Right.”

“I’ll think about it,” Saeran said, bringing the last bin of dishes out front. Yoosung finished vacuuming and started taking the dishes out to put them away.

“It’ll be good for you,” Zen said. He left them alone to go find Jaehee.

“So what was he talking to you about?” Yoosung asked.

“He wanted to know if I’d like a permanent job here.”

“Really? That would be so cool!”

“Yeah. We wouldn’t actually be working together, though,” Saeran said. Yoosung pouted for a moment, but got over it quickly.

“It’s more money in your pocket, which means you can get cool stuff!”

“Yeah, and go to cool places without my brother fucking around.”

“Hehehe, yeah.”

“You, uh, want to watch a movie at my place? I mean, it’s kind of late, but…”

“Yeah, I’d love to. Oh, should I get some stuff for a sleepover from my place, first?”

“If-- if you want to. We can go to your apartment first, and then over to my house.” Even after sleeping over at Yoosung’s, Saeran was still a bit uncomfortable with the idea. Still, it had been nice that first time, and he knew there was nothing to fear now. He shoved down the feeling of discomfort and finished helping with the dishes.

Once they clocked out, they got into Saeran’s car.

“I need to fill it with some gas before we get too far.”

“Okay,” Yoosung said. As they were driving to the gas station, Yoosung pulled out his wallet. Saeran raised an eyebrow.

“Why do you have your wallet out?”

“I’m gonna buy snacks when we stop for gas.”

“Oh. Okay. Sounds good.” He didn’t say anything else. Yoosung had complained to him that he didn’t get to buy Saeran enough things, after all. When they pulled in, Yoosung ran inside and got a ton of snacks. He came back out as Saeran was finishing with the gas.

“There’s no way we can eat all that,” Saeran said, looking at the bags in Yoosung’s hands.

“No, but it’s better to have more than we need than not enough.”

“Alright. If we leave that out too long, though, we’re going to attract a wild Saeyoung.” Yoosung laughed as he put the groceries in the back seat.

“Yeah, we wouldn’t want that. He’d ruin the movie.”

“You understand.”

“Of course. When it was just me and Seven, he would play pranks on me all the time. After you came along, and he left his agency, he’d focus on you a lot more. I always felt kind of bad that you had basically replaced me as his personal toy. It’s not a great place to be. Fun, most of the time, don’t get me wrong, but it’s really annoying.”

“You can have him back.”

“That’s okay.” They went to Yoosung’s place next, shoving some pajamas and bathroom stuff into a bag before running back to the car. Finally, Saeran pulled into the garage where Seven stored his cars. They brought the snacks inside, setting them down on the coffee table that Saeyoung had in his living room.

Yoosung sat on the couch, just a bit away from Saeran’s favorite corner. Saeran pulled out some random romcom that Miyoung had brought with her when she moved in. He popped it into the DVD player, then sat in his corner with some snacks to watch. Yoosung snuggled into him immediately. Saeran slung an arm around him, kissing his head and getting a mouthful of blond fluff.

The movie started, showing a couple that were supposed to be in love. Saeran doubted that the girl would hang on, and oh look, she didn’t. Now she’s moving on while the guy is heartbroken. He met a new girl and started dating her.

Yoosung was completely entranced by the entire plot line. Saeran looked down to see his eyes wide and glued to the screen, not even managing to eat the snacks he had bought. When the movie ended, Yoosung shook his head, blinking hard.

“That was a good movie,” he said.

“Yeah, it was.”

“You didn’t like it?”

“Romance movies aren’t my favorites, but I can see why you like them. The plot was interesting, anyway,” Saeran said. Yoosung smiled, sitting up to be more level with Saeran. He leaned in, pressing his lips gently against his boyfriend’s. Saeran kissed back, hand moving to cup Yoosung’s cheek, before sliding back into his hair. Yoosung wrapped his arms around Saeran’s neck.

“Hey, Saeran, I finished coding the --- what the hell?” Saeran broke away in a hurry at the sound of his brother’s voice, unable to get far because of Yoosung’s arms. He grabbed a pillow and threw it at Saeyoung.

“Get out, stupid brother!” The pillow hit Saeyoung square in the face, falling to the floor. Saeyoung didn’t move. He just stood there, shocked and dumbfounded.

“Wh...” he attempted. Saeran rolled his eyes. His brother wasn’t going to be able to move without assistance. He got up, turning his brother around and pushing him toward his room. Saeran never understood why Saeyoung’s jacket had yellow circles all over it. It was kind of an odd design choice. He should just have a plain black one like Saeran’s… like the one he had left in the coffee shop. Saeran froze for a moment, anxiety flaring up.

“Come on, Saeyoung, time for bed,” he said, wresting control until he was able to shove Saeyoung into his bed next to Miyoung. She woke up, looking around blearily.

“What’s going on?”

“Sae’s in shock. He needs sleep.”

“Alright. I’ve got him.” Miyoung helped Saeyoung get settled as Saeran left them alone. He went back out to the living room, where Yoosung was waiting. Every step caused a slight wind around him, one he hadn’t felt with his jacket on. Saeran made a quick stop in his room for a sweater.

“Is Saeyoung okay?”

“He’ll be fine, he just needs time to process.”

“I like your sweater --- oh, no. Your jacket,” Yoosung said, eyes wide. “I’ll get it for you tomorrow.”

“Thanks. We should get to bed, ourselves. It’s late.”

“Right.” Yoosung took his bag into the bathroom to get changed and ready for bed. Saeran went to his room, making sure everything was where it should be. It was, of course. He refused to let things get messy.

After he was done in the bathroom, Saeran found Yoosung standing in his room, looking around.

“I like your room,” he said.

“Thank you. I want to get it repainted, but I’m not sure what I’d do.”

“Hmm. Anything you like? Ooh, maybe you could do clouds!”

“I like clouds. That’s a good idea.” Saeran went to his bed, pulling the covers back. “Come on.” Yoosung crawled in after him, laying his head down on one of the pillows. Miyoung had insisted on Saeran having more than one. Now he was glad she had gotten him two. He laid his own head on the other pillow.

“Saeran, if I ever try to make you do something that makes you uncomfortable, tell me, okay?” Yoosung said.

“What? Why--”

“I know you like your personal space, and we haven’t been dating for very long. Should I get a sleeping bag?”

“No! No, it’s fine. It’s one night, and besides, I like it having you close,” Saeran said. Yoosung blushed, then shifted closer to Saeran. Saeran moved a bit closer, too, until they were almost touching. He stretched his arm out, sliding it under Yoosung’s neck. Yoosung got even closer, snuggling into Saeran’s chest.

“Is this okay?” he asked.

“It’s perfect,” Saeran said. He wrapped his other arm around Yoosung’s waist, then closed his eyes and went to sleep.

 

The next morning was interesting, to say the least. Saeran awoke to the sound of hard knocking, his brother yelling, and Miyoung trying to quiet him. He untangled himself from Yoosung, who had managed to intertwine their legs in the night, and went to open the door.

“What?” he asked, annoyed. And he had been doing so well with a positive attitude change, too.

“How long!?”

“What?” Now he was just confused --- wait, he remembered. “Oh. Like a month or so?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want you getting involved and ruining things.” And I wanted to do something without your help for once. He could never tell Saeyoung that.

“You really think I would ruin this?”

“Not on purpose. Saeyoung, don’t get involved. Just...” Saeran stopped and sighed.

“Let them handle it on their own, love. They’ll make it on their own. There’s no need to worry,” Miyoung said.

“And what if they don’t? What then?”

“Oh, I think they’ll be fine. I’m gonna go get breakfast started. Saeyoung, why don’t you help me.” The two of them moved on, leaving Saeran in the door. He went back to his bed, sitting down and processing what had just happened.

“Saeyoung knows?” Yoosung asked, coming out of the blankets.

“Yeah. He does now.”

“Okay. Does he know we’re soulmates?”

“Not yet.”

“Got it.” Yoosung stretched out, then sat up. He crawled over to Saeran’s back, kneading his shoulders.

“God, that feels good,” Saeran said. Then he sighed. “We should tell him, huh?”

“Yeah. At this point, we should tell him as much as we can, so he doesn’t freak out again.”

“He didn’t have to freak out in the first place.”

“Well, he probably had a reason for it.” They got out of bed, walking to the kitchen. Yoosung took Saeran’s hand, holding onto it to keep him calm. When they arrived in the kitchen, Saeyoung was sitting at the table with his head in his hands, disbelief all over his face.

“Morning,” Yoosung said cheerfully.

“Good morning, Yoosung,” Miyoung said. She smiled.

“Morning,” Saeyoung said weakly. Saeran sat down across from him.

“Saeyoung,” he started, trying to find the courage to keep going. Yoosung stayed by him. Saeyoung just looked at him, then at Yoosung, and back at him, shaking his head.

“We’re… not just dating.” How do you say this sort of thing? “We’re…”

“We’re soulmates,” Yoosung said. Miyoung kept cooking, but Saeran could tell she was listening in.

“You’re… you two are soulmates?”

“Yeah, we are,” Saeran said. His brother laughed a bit, and then more, until he was practically screaming with laughter. It died off, until all Saeran heard was a quiet, “holy shit.”

“Alright, alright, I think I can handle this,” Saeyoung said. “My best friend and brother are dating each other. You know, if you think about it, the two of you would have never met it if weren’t for me.” Saeran wasn’t so sure about that, since the two of them went to the same school. They probably would have met some other time.

“Yeah, that’s true,” Saeran said. Yoosung nodded sagely, continuing to do so as Saeyoung kept babbling away.

“Have you two been on any dates?”

“We went out to dinner earlier this week,” Saeran said.

“How romantic.”

“Saeran! Use protection!” Saeyoung said suddenly. He looked Saeran dead in the eye, then moved swiftly and dragged his twin out of the room.

“What are you doing?”

“There are some things I need to tell you. First, communication is super important. If you don’t listen to your partner, then things are going to get bad. Second, you have to trust him, no matter what. Even if he’s talking to someone else, you have to trust that he’s going to be with you. You’re soulmates, after all. Third, and most important, you need to respect his boundaries. If he doesn’t want to do something, that’s his choice. Pushing too far can break a relationship.”

“I understand. Thank you, Saeyoung.”

“I care about you, you know.”

“I know. I… I care about you, too.” Saeyoung smiled.

“Come on, let’s get back to dinner.”

“Breakfast.”

“Right.” They sat down with the others to eat.

“Everything alright?” Yoosung asked, worried.

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Saeran replied.

“Don’t worry, my little Yoosung! I promise to never dump scorpions on you when you’re kissing my favorite brother.”

“Where would you even get scorpions?”

“I have my ways.”

“Your ways died with your agency work.” Saeyoung paused, causing the others to laugh. Saeran decided that he liked this, too, being with Yoosung and his brother and Miyoung. It was nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have you ever wanted to put something into a story and had it actually fit? because that just happened :D professor subplot is just about done.
> 
> comment if you wish ^^ tell me about your fave line, something you like, or whatever.


	10. Color in a Holiday

It had been nearly three months since they started dating. Saeran was still nervous, but, even after multiple breakdowns and panic attacks, even with restless nights when his nightmares returned to him, Yoosung was right there to help Saeran through.

Every tear he shed was wiped away. Every wave of anxiety racking his body was soothed by Yoosung’s hand on his back. Every time his eyes forced themselves open to escape his mind’s conjurations, Yoosung was there to help him, by phone or by his side.

Saeran had gotten used to the blond’s presence in his life. He’d gotten used to the physical contact, to the colors that surrounded him constantly. He worked hard on his Christmas gift. It would be his first Christmas that wasn’t somehow a bad thing. The last one he had celebrated had been with his brother and sister-in-law, and the first that he had had without anyone trying to hurt him, though he hadn’t really believed that at the time. It was Christmas Eve now.

He finished his game a few days beforehand, testing it thoroughly to make sure everything was set. There were some puzzles, some monsters, and some tactics that he had admittedly borrowed from LoLoL. All he had to do was get it onto a flashdrive for Yoosung.

He put a little star sticker on the drive.

Saeran remembered last year’s Christmas. Yoosung had come over at midnight. Apparently, it was a tradition for Saeyoung to go to Yoosung’s place on Christmas Eve to decorate his apartment. Saeyoung had wanted to do that again, but Saeran hadn’t wanted to go anywhere, and he couldn’t be left behind. So Yoosung had come over to their place.

Their place. It wasn’t weird, anymore, to think of this place that Saeyoung lived in as his own home anymore. He enjoyed it, sort of, as much as he imagined one could enjoy a building. There weren’t any Christmas decorations up, yet. That would happen at midnight tonight, when Yoosung came over to help out. 

Saeran looked down at his sweater, hoping it wasn’t too bad-looking in its red and green Christmassy splendor. He knew Yoosung wouldn’t care, and would tell him it looked good, but he wanted the compliment to be sincere. He checked himself in the mirror, combed his fingers through his hair. Then, once it was nearly midnight, he walked out of his room to wait for Yoosung, tucking his present into his pocket as he left.

Saeyoung had a grandfather clock that donged really loudly specifically for this one night. Saeran didn’t hate it, mostly because it only ever went off once for midnight, and then Saeyoung stopped it from ticking. There just wasn’t time. Besides, it was heralding a new experience, and a good one.

“Are you ready for your prince charming, little brother?” Saeyoung asked, coming up from behind.

“Only if you’re ready for yours,” Saeran replied, rolling his eyes.

“And here I am! Saeyoung, your prince has arrived!” That was Miyoung, coming home with late-night takeout. She set it down on the coffee table.

“Ooh! And what has my prince brought me?” Saeran sat down on the couch as his brother fawned over the spoils of money. He thought briefly of Jumin and Zen, and wondered how they were doing this night. Knowing Jaehee, she was probably asleep, completely exhausted from work. That meant that Zen would be cuddling her in bed. Jumin, on the other hand, would be alone, and probably snuggling Elizabeth the 3rd. Seeing how that man loved his cat so much made Saeran think that a soulmate didn’t even have to be human.

He did say once that his soulmate had pretty blue eyes.

Saeran wondered what Elizabeth the 3rd’s fur felt like. He could have asked Saeyoung, but showing an interest in cats was dangerous. Especially if that cat happened to be “Elly.” He looked toward the door to try and see if Yoosung was there, yet. There were only a couple minutes left to midnight, after all. There was a shadow under the door, which shifted a bit. Saeran wanted to let him in. It was cold outside, after all. Yoosung wouldn’t allow it, though. He had a special tradition of kicking the door open. More specifically, he wanted to get back at Saeyoung for kicking his door.

The clock bonged. Saeran watched the shadow shift to a ready stance. Ten bongs later, and the doorknob turned. On the last bong, Yoosung kicked the door. Hard.

“MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!” he screamed, walking in. Saeran laughed loudly as Saeyoung jumped ten feet into the air, screeching the whole way.

“Yoosung, you made it!” Miyoung said. She really was a brilliant host. Saeran wondered how she had managed to not jump as far as Saeyoung had.

“Yeah, of course! I’m not celebrating Christmas alone when I have friends to celebrate with.”

“You brought decorations!” Saeyoung cried. He threw his arms out, then latched them around a box that Yoosung was carrying.

“Yup! Some of our old favorites, and one or two new ones that I got. I also stuffed my presents for you guys in here.”

“Sweet! Oh, here’s the garland!” Saeran watched as his twin pulled a long strand of fake green pine needles from the box. He started dropping it on the ground until it finally ended, then ran around the apartment, getting it hung up around the walls. Saeran got up at that point, looking in the box to see what there was. There were some LoLoL and star ornaments, as well as a number of other ornaments for a tree.

“Hey, Saeran,” Yoosung said.

“Hey,” Saeran said back. They smiled at each other, sharing a quick kiss before Saeran took the box and set it on the table. Yoosung pulled a couple of his LoLoL ornaments out, going to a fake tree that Saeyoung had so that they could hang up.

Saeran grabbed a few of the stars, hanging them on the garland that was somehow staying to the wall. Looking closer, he saw that there were tacks driven in. It wasn’t the most stable thing, but it apparently worked. He just shrugged and left it alone, taking more stars and hanging them up on the tree. He had a big one and some smaller ones. The big one went in the middle of the tree, as far as it was facing the couch. He put the smaller ones up in a row on either side of it.

“You’re pretty good at design. I like your sweater, by the way. The style is really cute, and it looks warm, too.”

“Thanks. I like your jacket.”

“Oh! I haven’t even taken it off, yet!” Yoosung laughed, leaving for a moment to put his jacket away. Saeran considered his sweater a success. He wondered how Yoosung would feel if he gave him a sweater to wear. He figured the blond would love it.

They kept decorating the tree, and between the four of them, managed to put something together that didn’t look absolutely horrible. Saeran rearranged some of his brother’s choices so that they didn’t clash horribly with the rest of the tree. Knowing his housemates, he was going to be staring at this thing for the next three months. Saeyoung had been so happy to have a good Christmas, he hadn’t let it go until March when Miyoung finally said enough.

There were cats and stars everywhere. Even Miyoung had a specialization in crystal snowflakes that were all over the tree. Saeran briefly wondered what he would put on the tree, if he had ornaments of his own. Probably clouds.

Once the tree was done, the four of them sat down as Saeyoung pulled out a game to play.

“I wonder what we’re gonna play,” Yoosung said, swinging his feet like an excited child. Saeran smiled. He was smiling a lot, now.

“Whatever it is, Saeyoung won’t win.”

“Oh yeah? And what makes you think that?” Saeyoung asked, turning toward him. Saeran just smirked in reply, pointing to his brother and giving him a thumbs down. Yoosung giggled.

“If Saeran’s determined, there’s no way any of us can win,” he said.

“Let’s just play.” The game came up, revealing itself to be… Mario Kart.

“Come on, we play this every time. Pick something else,” Saeran complained.

“We do not!”

“Yeah we do,” Miyoung said. She went to the game system, exchanging Mario Kart for Mario Party.

“Let’s wreck some friendships.”

Saeyoung and Saeran were less than happy with each other at the end of the night, given that every time one of them attacked the other, there was a war between them as they got even. On a couple of occasions, Yoosung and Miyoung managed to incite a battle between them. The most intense part, though, had to be when Saeran and Yoosung were up against each other in a duel.

Yoosung won, surprisingly, even though Saeran had been going full-out.

Dawn approached, making them all realize that they had been up for way too long.

“Should we open presents first? Or should we go to bed and open them after?” Saeyoung asked.

“If we go to sleep first, you won’t wake up,” Miyoung said, jabbing him playfully in the shoulder.

“That’s a good point. Alright, we should open presents, then!” Yoosung said. He slid across the floor toward the tree, where all of their presents were stored. Saeran plopped down next to him as gracefully as possible for someone who hadn’t moved enough in the past three hours. The other two joined them soon after.

“This one’s for Yoosung,” Miyoung said, getting the ball rolling. He opened it to reveal a little star desk ornament.

“It’s so cute! Thanks, Miyoung! Here, this one’s for Saeyoung.” They kept going around, giving each other their gifts. Saeran pulled the flashdrive from his pocket and gave it to Yoosung.

“It’s a game I’ve been coding for the past while. Merry Christmas.”

“Thank you! I wish I’d brought my laptop with me, now. I’ll start playing it as soon as I get home.”

“I’ll join you in a call, then, yeah?” It was what they usually did when they played LoLoL together.

“Perfect!”

“They’re already setting up a date,” Saeyoung whispered loudly.

“I know, and right in front of us, too,” Miyoung replied, just as loudly. Sometimes Saeran forgot that she shared certain qualities with his brother.

“You’re not invited,” he whispered at them.

“Why not?”

“Because we refuse to let cats be around,” Yoosung added. Saeyoung’s face fell.

“No cats!? Have fun, you two.” Saeran bit back a laugh for all of three seconds before it burst out of him. Yoosung joined in soon after, followed by Miyoung, and finally, Saeyoung also laughed.

“Alright, well, now that all of our presents are open, it’s time to get to bed.” They headed off. Yoosung followed Saeran into his room as if they had been sleeping in the same bed their entire lives, even though it had so far only happened on four occasions. The first was out of necessity, the other three because Saeran found he really liked cuddling.

Yoosung changed into pajamas, turning his back so that Saeran couldn’t see him so well. Saeran did the same as he pulled his sweater off. He refused to look at his tattoo, instead focusing on getting into his own pajamas. He climbed into bed, Yoosung following soon after, snuggling up to him.

“You’re always so warm,” the blond murmured, falling asleep.

“Good. You shouldn’t be cold.” Saeran wrapped his arms loosely around Yoosung, cushioning his boyfriend’s head with his arm.

 

It was late in the day when they awoke. Saeran opened his eyes to the sight of Yoosung sleeping peacefully. His features were still soft, but his cheekbones showed through, and his chin was more defined. As baby-faced as he was, there was still maturity to be seen. Saeran traced the outline of his cheek softly, so as not to wake him up. He brushed some hair out of the way.

Yoosung’s eyes fluttered open, blinking away the drowsiness. He smiled.

“Good morning,” he muttered. Saeran laughed quietly.

“Morning,” he replied, pulling Yoosung closer. His clock said that it was about three in the afternoon. “How are you feeling?”

“Feeling good. Slept well?”

“Yeah. You?”

“Yup.” Yoosung sat up, stretching his arms over his head and yawning. “What time is it, anyway? Oh.” He slid out of bed in a hurry. Saeran followed him out, getting out a fresh shirt. It had long sleeves, thankfully. He could hear Yoosung pulling his pajamas off on the other side of the room, and did the same. The rustling of cloth stopped, causing Saeran to turn and figure out why.

Yoosung was looking at him. He turned away quickly, blushing when he realized he’d been caught. Saeran smirked. Crossing the room in a few steps, he hugged Yoosung from behind, pressing their skin together.

“Do I look that good to you?” Saeran asked in a low voice. Yoosung’s breath hitched. He nodded.

“You’ve always looked amazing. I-I hardly ever get to see you with your shirt off...” Yoosung’s voice trailed. Saeran leaned his head over the other’s shoulder, looking down his torso.

“You look good, too. More toned than I’d have thought.” Yoosung had a belly, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as one might think, given that he was a gamer.

“I got an A in gym, so at least I have some athletic ability.”

“That’s… actually really good. Saeyoung gave me an education when I was ready for one, to teach me the stuff I needed to know to get a high school diploma.”

“Is that how you got into college?”

“Yep. I decided what I wanted to do, and he hacked the system to enroll me.”

“That’s really cool! At least your first semester is done now, right?”

“Yeah. Just a bunch more to go,” Saeran said, rolling eyes and smirking.

“Aw, come on. It won’t be that bad. With how smart you are, you’ll probably graduate early.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah!”

“Then you will, too. You’re smarter than I am.” Saeran let go to get changed, pulling his shirt on over his head.

“Am not! I spend all day playing games.”

“And beating them easily. The newest dungeon to come out had some crazy mechanics and puzzles, and it took you less than ten tries to figure them out. You’ve also been getting your grades up.”

“That’s true.” The two of them walked out of Saeran’s room. So far, Yoosung hadn’t really explored his room much, so he hadn’t found anything weird. Saeran was thankful for that, at least, but he figured he should share more of himself at some point. More than he already had, anyway. Yoosung had managed to wheedle some stuff out of him, mostly about various memories he had from when he was younger with Saeyoung, growing up in a bad home.

Yoosung had held him that entire night. It was their third one spent together.

Saeran sat down at the kitchen table, collecting himself and deciding what to have for breakfast. There was cereal, of course, or he could try and cook something better. He got up and looked through the cabinets for a frying pan and some of the metal cookie cutters that Miyoung had bought. Finding a tree-shaped one, he set it on the counter along with an egg from the fridge. Then, he melted some butter and put the cookie cutter inside, cracking the egg over it. Yoosung came over to see what he was doing.

“Oh, it’s shaped like a tree now!” he said excitedly.

“Yeah. I thought it would be more festive this way.”

“Are Saeyoung and Miyoung up?”

“Probably not. Do you want a tree?”

“Yeah.” Saeran finished frying the tree egg, sliding it onto a plate. He fried another one after. Yoosung started digging through Miyoung’s cookie cutter collection, pulling out more trees, some gingerbread men, and stars. Saeran fried more eggs in their shapes as Yoosung cut out ham slices, layering several between eggs.

“There. Egg sandwiches.” Once Saeran had fried some up for his siblings and set them on a separate plate, he sat down to eat with Yoosung. After telling the blond about his past, and consequent aversion to bread, Yoosung had found ways to replace bread in multiple dishes. He had even tried to throw out a loaf he’d bought for himself.

Saeran had fought him on that one, calmed him down enough to explain. He didn’t like bread because it triggered him, that didn’t mean Yoosung had to give it up.

“They’re really good. I should make these for myself sometime,” Yoosung said, tearing a point off the tree Saeran had made him.

“The ham’s the best part,” Saeran said. He dislodged a slice from his star, eating it alone.

“What’s this I see? Eggs and ham?”

“It looks tasty~” Saeran looked up as his siblings came in and helped themselves to the eggs.

“Oh! You know, there are aprons,” Saeyoung said. Saeran waited, holding his breath. His brother never started an anecdote unless it was going somewhere.

“Yeah? What about them?” Yoosung asked, unimpressed.

“Well, they come in a bunch of patterns. There are flowery ones, and striped ones, and ones with polka dots.” Saeran knew that those weren’t the aprons Saeyoung was talking about. He tried to think of other types of apron patterns. “Aand, there are ones that say ‘kiss the cook!’ So, who’s getting kissed?”

“Me. Pucker up, brother,” Saeran said. Saeyoung screeched before his body short-circuited. Saeran could practically see his glasses break.

“Oh, man,” he said, once he managed to come back down to earth.

“What were you just imagining?”

“I was thinking about how weird it would be to kiss you.”

“Well, a kiss on the cheek isn’t so bad,” Miyoung said, sneaking up from the side. She pecked Saeran’s cheek before moving to a seat. Saeyoung sat down, nodding at his wife’s wisdom.

“Very true, a kiss on the cheek isn’t so bad. But! The boyfriend of the cook should go for the lips, eh, Yoosung?”

“Saeyoung, are you feeling alright?”

“Totally fine!” Yoosung rolled his eyes, then kissed Saeran briefly on the lips. He went back to eating, finishing the rest of the tree, save for one piece of ham that had escaped. Saeran leaned in as Yoosung went to pull the ham into his mouth, nabbing half of it. Yoosung blushed a bit. Saeran pouted a bit.

“You’re getting used to my antics,” he said.

“I guess so.”

“Should I find more ways to surprise you, then?”

“No, no, that’s fine… well, maybe.”

“No flirting at the table!” Saeyoung interjected.

“Yeah? And what’s the punishment?”

“You have to have a water balloon dropped on your head!”

“Then get ready to get soaked. You two flirt at the table every morning.”

“Should I change into a t-shirt, then? So I don’t get my good clothes wet,” Miyoung said.

“Maybe I should, too,” Saeyoung said. Saeran facepalmed. The two of them could be impossible, sometimes.

“I can’t stay for it, I have to get home to my parents. We’re celebrating Christmas together this year.”

“Alright, have fun. Don’t forget your presents!”

“I won’t.” Yoosung got up, putting his plate in the sink. Saeran did the same, helping Yoosung gather his stuff as he packed up to go home. He had already made plans to go to Christmas at Yoosung’s house. Apparently, Yoosung’s family was super excited to meet him. Saeran was excited, too, but mostly nervous. What if they didn’t like him? Would Yoosung really be willing to choose between them? Maybe, if they didn’t like him, Saeran would leave Yoosung. It would be better. Family is more important, after all.

Yoosung took his hand, his backpack on his shoulders already.

“Ready?”

“Ready.” They went out to Saeran’s car, by now a very familiar place for them. Saeran followed Yoosung’s directions as he drove through the streets toward the Kim residence. According to Yoosung, both of his parents were teachers, which made sense, considering how good at studying Yoosung was. With two teachers on him, there was no way he could fall behind.

“Here we are,” Yoosung said as they exited the car, gesturing to his family’s actual house. It was weird to see. Everyone Saeran knew around here either lived in apartment buildings or above shops. They entered without knocking.

“I’m home!” Yoosung called out. “I brought my boyfriend!” Saeran felt a thrill in his chest, partly giddy, mostly anxious. There it was, out in the air. They were dating, and now everyone in this house knew it.

“Yoosung, my lovely grandson. Have you eaten yet?”

“Yeah, I had some breakfast earlier. Grandma, this is my soulmate, Saeran.”

“It’s wonderful to meet you, Saeran,” Yoosung’s grandma said, bowing. Saeran bowed deeply.

“It’s an honor to meet you, ma’am,” he said. The elder woman laughed.

“What a respectful young man.”

“Thank you.” Yoosung hugged his grandma, then they went deeper into the house, removing their shoes on the way.

“I’m gonna drop this off in my room real quick. I’ll be down soon,” he said, leaving Saeran standing in the living room. It was devoid of people, thankfully. Saeran figured it might be safe to sit, so he picked a corner of the couch and squished into it.

“I’m home!” someone called from the front. Saeran didn’t say anything.

“Good to have you home, dear!” came a voice from the kitchen. It sounded mature, maybe Yoosung’s mother. His grandma shuffled past as the person who had just arrived appeared. Saeran wished suddenly that he could disappear. It would be easier to meet people when Yoosung was there to introduce him.

“Hello, there, stranger. What are you doing here?” The man before him was middle-aged, fine wrinkles starting in his face. His hair was combed back professionally.

“Uh, I’m Yoosung’s boyfriend,” Saeran said, shooting up. He bowed.

“I see. Yoosung’s told us a lot about you. He’s very excited to have a soulmate.”

“Yeah?” Saeran breathed a sigh of relief. It felt good, knowing that he wasn’t a secret from these people. It made him feel bad about hiding his relationship from his brother.

“It’s true. I’m his father, by the way. Jae-eun Kim.”

“Saeran Choi. It’s an honor to meet you.”

“Welcome home, Dad.”

“Yoosung! I thought I would beat you home,” Jae-eun said.

“You almost did. We just got here a couple minutes ago,” Yoosung said. “Ah, you two have met?”

“That’s right. Where’s your lovely mother?”

“Probably in the kitchen making new dishes.”

“Well, it smells wonderful this year.” Yoosung’s father walked into the kitchen, leaving the two of them alone for a moment.

“This year?” Saeran asked.

“Yeah, some years are more successful than others as far as how good the food is.”

“I see.” They entered the kitchen as well, staying on the edges since there were now six people in a single room. Saeran watched as two women moved together, cooking in tandem.

“Mom, do you have a moment?” Yoosung asked.

“Yes I do. What is it, dear? Oh? Is this your soulmate?”

“Yup. This is my boyfriend, Saeran.” Saeran smiled nervously and waved. Mrs. Kim just laughed warmly.

“No need to be nervous here, sweetie. You’re part of the family.”

“Part of the family?” Saeran asked. He wasn’t sure he’d heard properly.

“That’s right.”

“So not fair! I’m older than Yoosung, and I still haven’t found my soulmate!” The other woman whined. She was much younger-looking than Yoosung’s mom. Saeran guessed she was his sister.

“How did you two meet?” Mrs. Kim asked.

“Well, we had met before we found out we’re soulmates, technically. He refused to look anyone in the eye at first, and bought coffee from me a hundred times before even looking up. Plus, he’s Saeyoung’s twin, which means that there were a bunch of times when he avoided me.”

“I’m really good at hiding,” Saeran offered, shrugging. The Kims laughed, but it wasn’t at him. It was warmer than that.

“Saeyoung’s twin, though? Should we be expecting… antics?”

“No. I’m not a fucking moron like my brother.” Oh. Oh shit. He just swore in front of his boyfriend’s parents. Saeran bit his lip to keep from speaking.

“Can’t argue with that,” Yoosung’s sister said. “He’s smart, but really dumb at the weirdest times. My name is Ye-won.”

“Saeran.”

“I’m Yoosung’s mother, Ga-in.”

“I’m honored to meet you, Ga-in Kim.” He didn’t need to be formal, but it wouldn’t hurt, right?

“Such a respectful young man.” As Ye-won and Ga-in finished cooking, the rest of the family sat down around an actual dining room table, not just a table that was put in the kitchen. Saeran sat next to Yoosung, with his father on the other side of him. Yoosung’s grandma sat down across from him.

He was asked a few questions, but there wasn’t anything bad. They were the normal questions people asked: oh, he went to school with Yoosung? What was his major? What were his plans for the future? Normal things like that. Saeran was glad that they weren’t like Saeyoung. If they were, he’d have been asked about cats a lot. And coding. There would be questions in Arabic that had to be answered in Arabic.

This was a lot easier.

The food was brought out to the table, looking delicious as various dishes steamed gently. Once Yoosung’s mom and sister had sat down, mom next to Yoosung and sister next to her, they started eating.

Saeran learned some things about each of them. Yoosung’s grandma used to be a full-time military employee, until she met her soulmate and settled down. His dad was a primary school teacher, while his mother taught secondary when the local schools needed a sub for the day. Other than that, she stayed at home, taking care of things. His sister was in school for law.

“I like you better than your brother,” Ye-won said.

“Most people do, if they get close to me. Usually I don’t let them this close,” Saeran replied. He was trying to let people in, forcing gates open that would have otherwise remained completely closed. Yoosung was helping a lot with it, and if Yoosung trusted his family, then Saeran could, too.

Once the meal was over a couple hours later, Saeran made for the door, intent on leaving now that they were finished eating.

“Wait~” Yoosung urged him, dragging him over to sit down with the rest of the family. Saeran found his corner again, squished into it this time because of Yoosung leaning against him. He felt a bit uncomfortable, but Yoosung being right there helped a bit. They talked for another hour, before Saeran finally managed to get free.

“I’ve gotta get back home and make sure Saeyoung hasn’t destroyed our house,” he said. Yoosung followed him out as the others said goodbye. Once they were outside and by Saeran’s car, Saeran turned to face his boyfriend.

“They like you,” he said.

“Good. I was worried.”

“Yeah, I figured as much.” They kissed.

“Get back inside before you catch cold.”

“Alright. Call me when you get home. We can chat while I play the game you made for me.” Yoosung waved goodbye as Saeran pulled out and headed home. When he arrived, he headed straight to his room, pulling his headset on and calling Yoosung over Discord.

“Hey,” he said once Yoosung picked up.

“Hey. I just plugged the drive into my computer. It’s downloading the files now.”

“Good. It shouldn’t take too long.”

“Right.” They chatted a bit as Yoosung waited for things to boot up. Once they did, he entered the game and gasped. “It’s a shooting star!”

“Yeah. It has your clips.”

“You made me into a video game character?”

“Yep. Have fun playing.” Yoosung offered to screen-share, which Saeran accepted. He watched as the pixel star ran around the screen, its legs waving back and forth as it went.

“It even walks. This is really cool!”

“Thanks.” Yoosung went from room to room, figuring out puzzles and conquering enemies one by one.

“This game is a lot of fun.” He played for an hour before finishing it, watching as the last boss exploded into a million pixels of different colors.

“It looks so spectacular… Saeran, thank you,” Yoosung said quietly. Saeran grinned at his words.

“I’m glad you like it. I should make a sequel for your birthday.”

“Really? I need to make something for you, too. You’ve been doing so much for me.”

“Yoosung, your being here has made my life better. You’ve done plenty for me.”

“Yeah. You were gonna drop out, right?”

“Right. There wasn’t much point in my getting a degree. I was just doing it because Saeyoung told me to, but I don’t think I would have stayed.”

“Even so, I’m gonna make you something awesome!”

“Alright. Good luck.”

“Thanks. I’ll need it to make something worthy of you.” Saeran smiled. Yoosung had few limits, most of them in the realm of sex, so hearing something like this was pretty common. The blond held the gray in high regard. “Oh, right! Our three-month anniversary is coming up! We should go out to dinner and a movie, or something. My treat!”

Three months. Saeran had been dating Yoosung for three entire months, and… he didn’t regret a single moment of it.

“Can’t wait,” Saeran said. “Good night.”

“Good night.” He hung up the call, then went to bed. It had been an exhausting day, for all the six hours he’d been awake. Saeran drifted off to sleep, wondering what he had that he could give Yoosung on such a special day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, so much fluff, so much growing together. such a large time skip because i wanted this out on christmas. next chapter is angst. prepare to suffer with me :3:3:3


	11. Color in a New Year

Saeran knocked on the door of Yoosung’s apartment. It was New Year’s Eve, the night when couples around the world came together and enjoyed a night of celebration. Yoosung had bought him a special sweater for the occasion, a blue one with white snowflakes on it. He smiled at the sight of his boyfriend as Yoosung opened the door.

“Hey, Saeran. You look good.”

“Thanks, and thanks for the sweater. You look good, too.” Yoosung was in a hoodie, which also had snowflakes on it.

“We almost match,” he said, grinning. Saeran kissed Yoosung lightly.

“May I come in?”

“With a gift like that for the host? Of course. Make yourself comfortable.” Saeran entered the apartment, which still had some Christmas decorations up.

“Do you keep them up until February, too?”

“No, I like to take them down in the last half hour before midnight, to get rid of the old year and clean the slate.”

“That’s a good idea. I should implement that back home. Maybe then Saeyoung would actually remember to get rid of the tree before it becomes a fire hazard.” They laughed, then moved to sit on the bed. It really was the only place to sit around here. Yoosung turned on the TV, then ran into the kitchen to grab some snacks.

“It’s nothing special, but I made some cookies for us. I hope you like them.”

“You’re a good cook,” Saeran said, taking a cookie.

“You haven’t even tried one, yet,” Yoosung said.

“No, but I’ve tasted your omelets, your rice, curry, and a bunch of other dishes. I mean it when I say you’re a good cook.”

“Oh, stop, you’re making me blush.” Yoosung waved his hand, but his cheeks were noticeably not red at all. Saeran smirked. He got close to Yoosung.

“Would you like me to really make them red?” he growled. It worked instantly. Yoosung’s face became red as a tomato. He sat down quickly, the plate of cookies on his lap.

“Why do you always tease me?” he asked. “You’re as bad as Saeyoung.”

“I’m nowhere near as bad as him. If I were, I would have kept going. Anyway, do you mind if we stop talking about him? It puts a bad taste in my mouth, knowing that my boyfriend is thinking of my brother.”

“Oh, yeah. No more about him, then.” 

Saeran wrapped his arm around Yoosung’s shoulder as they sat together, waiting for the New Year’s program to start. They munched quietly on cookies for a bit, then Yoosung spoke up about his resolutions for the year.

“I want to be a better man for you,” he said. “I’m going to get my degree in medicine and start practicing as a vet.”

“Do you really want to be a vet?” Saeran asked. He couldn’t really see Yoosung having such a job. Sure, the blond liked animals, but he didn’t seem the type to be that into them.

“Of course! It’s been my goal for awhile now. I mean, Rika lost her pet dog a few years ago...” Yoosung trailed off. Saeran knew it was hard for him to deal with Rika’s death. He also knew that she hadn’t been dead at the time.

“I’ve wanted to be a vet ever since, so I could help people, and keep them from feeling the loss of a pet.”

“It’s a noble cause. But it sounds like you’ve chosen this path because of Rika, not because it’s what you want to do.” Saeran felt pretty proud of himself for remembering what his therapist taught him. Just because you want to do something, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s because of what you want to do. Abusers do this sort of thing all the time, the therapist had said, where they manipulate you into thinking that what they want is what you want.

It was how he had gotten over what had happened to him.

“Well, yeah. She was a really good person, you know?” It was what everyone believed. Saeran knew better. He knew her. “She was always so kind,” so she appeared, “and thoughtful,” more like scheming, “and she had other people’s best interests at heart.”

“No she didn’t,” Saeran said. He hadn’t meant to, but Yoosung had to know. He had to know that this woman, this… harpy that he idolized was a sham, and a manipulator, and a horrid, wretched person. Yoosung needed to know Saeran’s perspective.

“You say that like you knew her.”

“I did. She told my brother to get into hacking when we were in high school. When he graduated, he was picked up by an intelligence agency. Rika took care of me since he couldn’t. That was… three years ago, now, I think.”

“Three years ago? How come I never saw you, then?” Saeran could tell Yoosung was having a hard time believing him.

“I didn’t like to go outside. Rika told me that the area she lived in wasn’t too good for someone with a poor constitution like myself, and she gave me medicine to help me. It… did. Sort of.”

“Sort of?”

“Yeah. The drugs made my mind fuzzy, and she started talking about a paradise she was building, bit by bit. A place where there would be no pain, and no fear, and no more being abandoned.” Yoosung was watching him now, focused on what Saeran was saying.

“I wanted that so badly. She told me that Saeyoung had run off, and left me behind, just like our father did, and just like our mother. I felt betrayed from what she told me. I know now that it isn’t true. Saeyoung loves me, and he always has, but, the damage was done. I didn’t trust him for two years. During that time, Rika filled my head with all sorts of things. She told me that the world was too filled with pain to be trusted, that I could only really trust her. She kept me inside where I would be safe. I didn’t know I wasn’t safe with her, either. Things came to a head when V intervened.”

“This can’t be true. Rika would never have done something like that. And… and why did V have to get involved?”

“He tried to save me. He told Rika that what she was doing was wrong, about six months into her brainwashing of me. V said that she needed to stop, that I should go with him, that I would be safe with him. V was a part of the outside world. I didn’t trust him. I tried to attack him, to protect Rika. He backed off, and Rika said that she was going to go somewhere far away, and take me with her. We left and headed into the mountains. She had a whole setup there. I stayed there with her for a year and a half. I guess during that time, V said that Rika had died.”

“So V was lying? I knew it!”

“Yeah. I guess Rika got him, too, with her abusive tactics. At the time, even though I knew that she wasn’t that great of a person, I still wanted to protect her. I felt like I had to. Like, there was nothing else more important than her. I still feel that way, sometimes. Less now, especially thanks to you.”

“She never abused me,” Yoosung said. Saeran sighed. He couldn’t even see it.

“She did. She abused everyone, made them see her way, somehow. Anyway, after she took me to the mountains, Saeyoung’s agency was sent in to destroy her work. They got everyone out. Saeyoung found me, personally, and took me home. He and Miyoung brought me to the hospital, and when I was set to go home, they took me to theirs.”

“Why did you never tell me this before?” Yoosung asked quietly, tensely

“You hold Rika on a high pedestal. I didn’t want to hurt you, but I can’t just let her memory influence you like this.”

“Is she still alive?”

“No. I killed her.”

Saeran felt Yoosung freeze up beside him.

“Yoosung?”

“Get out,” he whispered.

“What?”

“Get out! Get out of here!” 

“Yoosung, wait!”

“I don’t want you here anymore! You killed her! You said such vile things about Rika, and you killed her! Get OUT!” 

Saeran got up and left. He drove home and made it before midnight, going to his room and dodging Miyoung and Saeyoung’s questions about why he was here instead of with Yoosung. Throwing himself onto his bed, Saeran tried to scream, but he was suddenly tired. It was too much, knowing that Yoosung hated him. There was no way that he didn’t. After everything Saeran had said about his cousin, there just… couldn’t be anything left of him in Yoosung that was good.

 

Yoosung turned off the TV. He grabbed his rabbit pillow and punched it over and over again, screaming into it until his voice was raw. He heard the cheers of the people around him as the new year arrived.

They were going to kiss at that moment. Now all he wanted to do was forget what Saeran had said. He wanted to forget all of it.

He didn’t forget any of it.

The next day arrived, finding Yoosung curled up in his bed, tears staining his pillows, his sheets, his clothes. He wasn’t sure there was a tear left in him to cry, at this point. His phone went off several times, as the sun moved across the sky. At some point, he saw Zen and Jaehee arrive, but he didn’t pay them any attention. He just didn’t have the energy.

He shed a tear that he was being such a bad friend to them.

Jaehee somehow managed to get him to drink water, but the couple left soon after. Yoosung was alone again. He didn’t know what to do.

Rika wasn’t a bad person. She wanted what was best for people. She raised money for charity. She was dead, she hadn’t been dead, but she was dead. Rika wasn’t a bad person. Rika wasn’t a bad person.

Yet, the more he thought about it, the more he found parts of his past, where Rika was, where he had felt like she was helpless, and needed him. Was that some sort of abuse tactic? Yoosung didn’t know. But it was impossible, right? It couldn’t be true. He needed answers, and there was only one other person who would know that he knew he could reach.

Jumin.

Yoosung grabbed his phone, opening the private messenger that Saeyoung had coded. Everyone was online, and they were worried about him. Even Jumin…

Yoosung has entered the chatroom.

‘Jumin, where are you right now? I need to talk to you.’

‘Yoosung. Are you alright? What do you want to talk about?’

‘It’s about Rika.’

‘I’m at home.’

Yoosung has left the chatroom.

‘What do you need? Oh, he left.’

 

Yoosung stalked into the building Jumin lived in. One of the guards opened the elevator for him, and pressed the button to the penthouse. Yoosung stood in the elevator as it made its way quickly --- too slowly --- up to the top. Once it opened, he went inside.

“Jumin! Where are you!?” He tried to sound angry. He was angry. But Yoosung’s voice wobbled as he spoke.

“I’m in the living room, Yoosung.” Yoosung entered the living room, seeing Jumin seated on the couch. When he tried to form a question, he found his mind going blank. He shook it quickly to clear it.

“What do you know about Rika?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Saeran… said she was manipulative. That she made him feel like she was the only person he could trust. And…” Tears blinded his eyes.

“And?” Jumin raised an eyebrow.

“And now you’re realizing that you feel the same way,” came a familiar voice. Yoosung looked up, blinking, trying to see who had spoken. He got a blur of aqua.

“V?”

“Long time, no see. How are you, Yoosung?”

“Like you care.” Yoosung cleared his eyes, getting a better picture of V. Gray clothes, dark shirt, light jacket. He was wearing a pair of sunglasses indoors.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what? For lying about Rika? You said she was dead!”

“I know.”

“Why?” Yoosung’s hands curled into fists.

“I can’t tell you.”

“Saeran said she had something going on in the mountains. Do you know what she was doing?”

“Saeran said that?” V sighed. “I see. Yes, she had a cult started. Called it Mint Eye. I would have gone with her, too, if it hadn’t been for Jumin.”

“Jumin?”

“Yes.” V sat down on the couch next to Jumin. Yoosung took a seat across from them. “He’s my soulmate, helped me to see the truth.”

“He’s your soulmate?”

“That’s right. I found out a few years ago. Rika had been taking care of Saeran for a little while, and Jumin was nervous.”

“I had every right to be,” Jumin said.

“And you were right to be. Anyway, he forced me to see the truth, and somewhere along the way, I finally saw him for real. The burst of color was amazing. You know the first thing he said to me? ‘Trust me. Please.’”

“But, what about Rika?”

“I thought she was the one. She certainly made herself seem so. That was part of it, though, I suppose.”

“She manipulated you?”

“I thought that she needed me, no matter how much she hurt me.”

“Hurt you?”

“Blinded me. Asked me if I loved her, or Jumin. Told me that love is blind, and that I should lose my sight if I truly loved her. So I did.” V smiled wanly, running his fingers through his hair. “If someone really loves you, they won’t try to hurt you. Promise me you’ll remember that, Yoosung.”

“I… I can’t believe it. Did she really hurt you?” V took his glasses off, revealing eyes that weren’t bright. It was Yoosung’s first time seeing blind eyes in color, but he recognized the milkiness. “Oh my god. Rika.” Tears welled up again, and spilled over.

“Yoosung,” Jumin said. He got up, then paused, unsure of what to do. V followed, moving carefully. He sat by Yoosung and pulled him close.

“Why did she do this?”

“She was mentally ill, Yoosung.”

“She was?”

“Yes, and her mental illnesses made her dangerous. She was calculating, and made people see things her way. It wasn’t good, for her, or for anyone else.”

“She… she didn’t have to do this.”

“I know.”

“And she’s really dead this time.”

“Yes, she is.”

“How can I trust Saeran? He killed her.”

“You’ll have to figure that out for yourself.” Yoosung cried. He thought he couldn’t anymore, after the events of the last day, but he did.

“How long has it been since you’ve eaten?” Jumin asked.

“Zen came by at some point and got me to eat.”

“How long ago was that?”

“It was today. New Year’s.”

“Yoosung, that was three days ago,” V said.

“What?”

“I’m calling room service,” Jumin said. The food arrived, but Yoosung couldn’t even trust his own sense of time. It took some doing, but he did manage to eat some.

“Stay here until you’re feeling better,” said Jumin.

 

Saeran held onto his anxiety plushie tightly. He had been staring at his alarm clock for the past several days, at first counting every moment that Yoosung hated him, and then counting minutes to when he would die and leave this accursed world.

Even when he had real happiness, he couldn’t keep it forever.

He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, another hour had slipped by. Miyoung knocked softly on his door.

“Saeran?” It opened, and she entered.

“Saeran, what happened? Please tell me.” He said nothing. He didn’t have the energy to. Miyoung frowned, then set some food on his bedside table before pulling him into a hug.

“It’ll be okay, Saeran. Things will work out.” I doubt it, Saeran thought. Miyoung held him for awhile longer, until Saeyoung appeared.

“Mind if I talk to him alone?” Miyoung left, and Saeyoung sat down next to him. Saeran’s body threatened to fall over again, but Saeyoung steadied him with a hand on his shoulder.

“I know you’re hurting because of what happened between you and Yoosung, and I know you don’t want to talk about it, but you need to. It feels better to talk.” Saeran forced himself to regain control of his body. He breathed in and out, wiggled his tongue, got his fingers moving again. Saeyoung waited patiently.

“What did you do?” Saeyoung asked.

“I killed Rika.” Saeran’s heart felt relief, then clenched. It felt like a knife was stabbing into him. He killed Rika, he was free, but he still missed her. He could still feel her guiding his movements. Saeran shivered.

“Oh.” He’d never told anyone before, not even his therapist. Everything they talked about, all the detail they went into about how Rika had gotten a hold on him, and Saeran had never once said anything about her death.

“I killed Mom...” He’d taken the lives of two people, two people who were important to him. Two people who had hurt him.

He’d wanted to kill Saeyoung, not so long ago.

“You killed Mom,” Saeyoung repeated. His voice was emotionless. “I knew she died. I didn’t realize it was you.”

“Yeah.” Saeran stayed quiet, waiting for Saeyoung to say something. He didn’t, so Saeran spoke again. “I’ve never told anyone before.” Saeyoung pulled him closer.

“She wasn’t a good person. Neither of them were.”

“Should I have killed them?”

“I don’t know.”

“I broke his wrist,” Saeran said, remembering the man from the bank. He just kept hurting people, didn’t he?

“You broke Yoosung’s wrist?”

“No, a man at the bank. It was awhile ago.”

“Has he pressed charges?” At least it was some sort of conversation change.

“Not as far as I know. He doesn’t know who I am.”

“Alright. Anyway, you should talk to Yoosung more. I heard from Jumin that he’s staying in his penthouse for now. I think he’s coming around.” Saeyoung got up, then walked out of the room. Saeran curled up again.

As Saeyoung left Saeran, he was approached by Miyoung, who was holding a letter.

“What’s that?” he asked.

“It’s for Saeran. A summons to the court.”

Well. It seemed that whoever’s wrist Saeran had broken figured out who he was. Saeyoung decided he would need to intervene, somehow.

 

Zen knocked on Saeyoung’s apartment door. He was glad that Miyoung convinced them to move somewhere that wasn’t guarded by a ridiculous Arabic door. He waited, hearing footsteps inside. Miyoung opened the door.

“Hey, Zen. How are you?”

“I’m fine. I’m worried about Saeran.”

“That’s odd for you. Usually you don’t want much to do with him. Last I heard, you threatened him over Yoosung.”

“Yeah, I did.” Zen’s brow furrowed. He looked past Miyoung into the apartment. It was a good size, but the interior design wasn’t his focus right now.

“Are you… trying to make good on your threat?”

“Maybe. But, if Yoosung’s in bad shape right now, Saeran probably is, too. Mind if I come in?”

“Sure.” Miyoung let Zen into the apartment. “Sit on the couch. I’ll tell him you’re here.” Zen sat down, crossed his arms, and waited. He couldn’t believe the nerve of that boy, hurting his Yoosung like that. Whatever Saeran had done, he was going to pay. Miyoung returned.

“He’s okay with you visiting. Saeyoung talked to him yesterday, and I think he’s doing a little better.”

“Good.” Zen got up and entered Saeran’s room, closing the door hard behind him. He glared at Saeran.

“I hope you’re happy, Saeran. Yoosung’s hurting bad because of you.”

“I know,” Saeran said quietly.

“And don’t even pretend like you’re broken up over this. I know you used to be crazy.” Saeran drew into himself, knees to his chest and face hidden.

“Yeah, I was.”

“We all thought you had changed. What did you do to him?”

“I told him about Rika.” Zen raised an eyebrow. He knew that Yoosung had missed Rika more than anyone, but that didn’t explain much.

“You told him what?”

“About her being manipulative, and cruel, and really good at hiding it.”

“You think Rika was like that?”

“Yeah. And I told Yoosung.” Saeran folding his fingers over the back of his head, pressing himself further into hiding. “He hates me.” Zen sighed, feeling his steely heart melting. He just couldn’t leave his emotions behind like that damn robot, Jumin.

“Probably. But you two are soulmates. If you want to hang onto your relationship at all, you need to talk.”

“It would be better to break up. He doesn’t deserve to get hurt.”

“I agree.” Why was this so hard? “But I don’t think Yoosung would.” Saeran just curled in even more. Zen sighed and rubbed his face, trying to think of what to do.

“What if I bring you over to Jumin’s? Then you can talk to Yoosung yourself.”

“Talk to Yoosung?” Alright, his head was lifting a bit.

“Yep. Talk to Yoosung. Come on, I’ll drive.” Saeran breathed deeply. Zen felt eyes on him, and turned to see Miyoung leaning against the doorway. She was smiling.

“Thank you,” she mouthed. Saeran got up off his bed and approached Zen.

“Oh. Shower first,” Zen said. Miyoung guided Saeran to the bathroom. Once he came out a half hour later, he and Zen were off.

“Don’t worry. You’ll be fine. Honestly, I was coming over to give you a piece of my mind, but you need some help too, huh?” Zen asked. Saeran didn’t say anything. “Besides, if you two make up and Yoosung goes home, he can get away from that jerk.” Saeran snorted.

“Haha! There’s a reaction! Seems you’re not totally dead inside, after all!”

“Thanks,” Saeran muttered.

“Sorry. You, uh, you did good with the dishes at the talent night.”

“Thanks.” That one sounded more sincere. They reached Jumin’s penthouse soon after. Zen messaged him, telling him they were coming up. Thankfully, it seemed Jumin had seen the message, because they were let up immediately.

“Here we are,” Zen said, pushing Saeran into the penthouse. He sneezed two seconds after. “I’m gonna go, now -achoo! I’m sure Jumin can give you a ride -achoo!- home.”

Saeran watched him go, and looked around the penthouse.

“Saeran. You’re here.”

“Hey, V.”

“Long time no see.”

“Glad to see you can make jokes. How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been alright. I heard that you and Yoosung hit a rough patch.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sure that you’ll pull through. You’re a good person, Saeran.”

“Okay.” Saeran didn’t believe him, but it didn’t matter. He just needed to smooth things over with Yoosung, right? And then let him go because this was exactly what he had feared when they went out for ice cream that first time.

“Jumin’s getting Yoosung out of his room right now.” At that moment, Saeran heard footsteps coming down the hall. He looked over and saw Yoosung come into the room. Their eyes met. He felt that spark again, and his racing heart started calming immediately.

“Hey,” Yoosung said.

“Hey,” Saeran replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is anyone else crying?
> 
> please comment, let out the tears. keeping your emotions hidden is bad, just look at jumin.


	12. Color in a Conversation

They were sitting on one of the couches in Jumin’s living room. Saeran twiddled his thumbs, not sure of what to say. He felt like he should apologize, but he knew, looking at Yoosung, that the blond had something he wanted to say. Eventually, Yoosung took a deep breath. Saeran immediately became more attentive.

“I’ve… been thinking about what you said. About Rika.” Saeran remained quiet.

“She hurt V, and she hurt you. That’s not okay. I still...” Yoosung sighed. “I still want to believe that she was a good person. Maybe she was, but she caused harm to people.” He ran his fingers into his hair, holding his head. Saeran placed a hand on his back tentatively, not sure if it was okay. When Yoosung didn’t flinch or move away, Saeran started rubbing in small circles.

“If I hadn’t come into your life, this wouldn’t have happened,” he said. Yoosung started laughing.

“If you hadn’t come into my life, I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now.”

“You’re happy?” Saeran stared at him incredulously.

“Of course I am. I met the best person I ever could have, and spent months with him. Saeran, these have been the greatest months of my life.”

“Yoosung,” Saeran murmured.

“How could she do that?” Yoosung cried. “How could she hurt you?” He sobbed.

“It’s okay, Yoosung.”

“It’s so unfair! You’ve had to deal with so much, and this whole time, I just held her on a pedestal like an ass. You shouldn’t have to deal with me.”

“Don’t say that. You’re not allowed to think that way about yourself.”

“Neither are you.” Yoosung turned to look at Saeran, a small smile on his lips. Saeran couldn’t help but smile back.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“For telling you about what Rika did.”

“It’s for the best. I wanted to know more about her, and I got my wish. I just wasn’t prepared for the answer. Besides, it’s not like finding out she was an abusive person is the end of the world.”

“What would be the end of the world, then? She was so important to you.”

“You leaving. Or dying. Or… not being in my life anymore. I thought that losing Rika hurt really badly, and it did. But I realized over the last few days that I probably couldn’t stand to be alive without you.”

“Yoosung!” Saeran snapped, making Yoosung jump. “Don’t say that. Don’t… die.” He pulled Yoosung into a tight hug. He felt tears falling, and sniffled.

“I won’t, I promise.” Yoosung held onto Saeran for a long time. He pulled back for just a moment, to wipe the tears from Saeran’s face. “I’m not going to leave you.”

“I won’t leave, either,” Saeran said. He kissed Yoosung’s forehead, his cheeks, his nose, his lips. “I...” I love you. “I don’t want to be without you.”

“Me either. Oh. We missed our three-month anniversary,” said Yoosung.

“It was really close to New Year’s, and after what happened, I think we’ll be okay.” Saeran pet Yoosung again. He didn’t like to admit it, but having his boyfriend cuddling with him like this made him feel calmer. Yoosung snuggled in more, burying his face in Saeran’s lap. He stretched out on the couch, then curled up. Saeran glanced around, making sure no one was watching.

Now that he was paying attention, he realized that Jumin’s penthouse was actually pretty nice. It had a white floor and dark gray walls that offset each other brilliantly. The décor was sparse, but it was right in line with Jumin’s style of living: practical. Saeran could respect that. He couldn’t say that he preferred it, but it was nice.

Some time later, Saeran realized he’d started dozing off. He shook himself awake, looking down at Yoosung. Gold fluff covered his face. Saeran brushed it aside. Yoosung’s eyes were closed, and his breathing was deep. He was asleep.

“You’re so adorable, Yoosung,” Saeran whispered. He leaned back on the couch, trying to stay awake, and failing miserably.

“Look at them. They’re so peaceful. I guess they talked things out,” V said. He was leaning against the door to the kitchen, arms crossed, as he watched Saeran slowly nod off. Or at least, he assumed it was Saeran. There was vague movement, and the thing moving wasn’t blond, so it wasn’t Yoosung.

“I suppose so. I must admit, I expected there to be more yelling and drama,” Jumin replied. V chuckled.

“You watch too many soap operas, Jumin.”

“I watch just enough of them. Besides, I have little in my life.”

“And what makes you say that?” V asked.

“You said it yourself. I have you, Elizabeth the 3rd, my work, and dramas.”

“Not everything will work out like a soap opera. Sometimes, real life can surprise you.”

“That sounds like a line from a soap,” Jumin said, raising an eyebrow. V just smiled, then went over to the couch. He had a feeling that the two of them had fallen asleep, and he was… right? He still couldn’t see.

“Are they asleep?” he whispered.

“Yes, they are. Should we move them?”

“Yeah. How should we do this?”

“I’m not sure.” Jumin placed an awkward hand on Saeran’s shoulder, shaking him awake. Saeran blinked, then glared at him. “It’s better to fall asleep in a bed.”

“What do you know about sleep?” Saeran asked blearily. “You’re up all the time working.” V stifled a laugh.

“He’s got you there,” V said. He placed a hand on Jumin’s back, feeling the tenseness in his muscles. In a moment, it was gone, and Jumin straightened himself up.

“Come along. You need proper sleep.”

Saeran went to get up, quickly finding that he was blocked by a sleeping star. He looked at Yoosung’s peaceful face, a small smile on his face. He lifted Yoosung’s head carefully, standing up. V and Jumin gave him some room. He slipped one arm under Yoosung’s legs, and the other under his back, lifting him off the couch. Yoosung whined, twining his own arms around Saeran’s neck.

Jumin led the way down a hallway that was painted like the living room. He opened the door to a spare bedroom. It had a computer plugged into the corner. Saeran recognized it immediately as Yoosung’s. The bed was messy. Saeran didn’t really care. A bed’s a bed, and it’s only going to get messed up again, anyway. What’s the point in putting it together?

He laid Yoosung gently in the bed, pulling away so that he could get in on the other side. Yoosung whined again, holding onto him more tightly. Saeran grunted, surprised at the strength Yoosung was using.

“Yoosung, you’ve gotta let go for a moment.”

“Don’ wanna…” Yoosung muttered. Saeran sighed. He wasn’t getting out so easily. Climbing into bed beside Yoosung, he couldn’t help but feel like this was where he was meant to be. He pulled Yoosung to his chest, breathing in his scent. It was comforting. He realized how much he missed this.

Rika would be a problem for awhile, he knew. But at least Yoosung was there to help him through, and he understood better how Saeran had been hurt. He still didn’t know everything, but he knew enough for now.

Saeran pulled the covers up over them.

 

“So, what now?” Jumin asked, sipping tea. V shrugged.

“I don’t know. That’s for them to decide. I think, however, that they will be staying together for a long time. They’re a strong pair.”

“That they are.” It wasn’t spoken between them, but they both knew that Rika was the source of this problem. V sighed.

“I almost wish that I had never met her,” he said. Jumin raised an eyebrow.

“If you hadn’t, we wouldn’t have figured out that we’re soulmates.”

“We would have figured it out eventually.”

“Fair enough, but she was the one who pushed you to find your true soulmate,” Jumin said. V laughed dryly, then sighed. It had been difficult. They had already combed through everything with Rika, at least.

“And I am very glad that I finally realized that the one for me is you.”

“Now, about that surgery.”

“I know. You want me to get my eyes repaired.”

“Yes.”

“I’m just not sure.”

“Please, Jihyun. There’s no need for you to suffer like this.”

“I know.”

“And I know that you still feel responsible for what happened to Rika, but it wasn’t your fault.”

“It’s hard to believe that,” V said. He pulled his sunglasses off, setting them on the table.

“I know it’s hard. She was kind to a lot of people, but it doesn’t make a difference. She still hurt you, and while death was not the best thing, it is what happened.”

“I should have been there to stop it.”

“You couldn’t have stopped it. How are you and Saeran, by the way?”

“We haven’t talked much until today. Even now, we haven’t talked a whole lot.”

“Sounds like you need to talk with him, then. Have you cleared things up with Yoosung?”

“He’s been avoiding me. I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to return to what we had before.” They sat together and sipped on tea.

“Didn’t Zen bring Saeran by?” V asked.

“Yes, he did,” Jumin said.

“Then we’ll need to find a way to get them home. I suppose you’ve already got it covered?”

“Yes, I have.”

“Is Jaehee’s shop still open?” V didn’t have to see well to know that Jumin was smiling. Even after all this time, they were still good enough friends to know what the other was doing. V smiled back, and they left the penthouse to get some coffee.

 

“Hello, Jumin. Hello, V. How are you two today?” Jaehee asked as they walked into the shop.

“Doing fine, and even better now that Yoosung and Saeran have made up.”

“They have? That’s wonderful! I’m glad to see they’ve worked things out. But so soon?”

“Mostly. They’ll find more things they need to work out, but for now, they’re okay.” V ordered a coffee for himself and for Jumin.

“Have you eaten, Jumin?”

“I have indeed. What about you?”

“I have.” It was still a bit weird to Jaehee for Jumin to care that she’d eaten at all, but he asked every time he came in, and Jaehee had to admit, it was nice. It felt like Jumin finally cared about her as a person.

She watched as V and Jumin sat down together by the front window. They seemed like good friends, though Jaehee had some suspicions. It wasn’t her place to ask, though. If they were in a relationship and wanted to profess it, then they could do that themselves. Otherwise, it didn’t matter if they were, or not.

It would totally make sense, though.

“Hey, rehearsal got out early today,” Zen said, coming through the door. He was carrying groceries, setting them on the counter before kissing Jaehee.

“Have you gotten a new role?”

“Yes, I have. The director talked to a debut writer, and they agreed to make a play based on one of their stories. I have the lead role.”

“Excellent news, Zen. Good luck,” V said, coming up behind them.

“V! You’re here. What are you doing here?”

“Enjoying the expertly brewed coffee.”

“It’s nice to see you.”

“Nice to see you, too.”

“Hello, Zen,” Jumin said.

“Hey,” Zen gritted out. His happy day was starting to get sour. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be keeping an eye on Yoosung to make sure he doesn’t get hurt?”

“Yoosung is fine. He and Saeran have worked things out. Though, it really isn’t much concern of yours.”

“Excuse me for caring about my friends.”

“I care about them, too. I just don’t see why we should get concerned in their personal lives.”

“If we hadn’t intervened, they wouldn’t have come together to talk things out,” V said.

“Exactly! We couldn’t just leave them alone. They’re really fine?”

“Yes, they are.” Zen breathed a sigh of relief, glad that his sudden decision to get Saeran to Yoosung paid off so well.

“Where are they?”

“They’re back at my house,” Jumin said.

“Your place? Still? That seems rather odd,” Jaehee said, as another customer grabbed some coffee.

“They fell asleep,” V said. Zen grabbed the groceries.

“I’ve gotta get these upstairs. Keep me posted, okay?”

“I will.” As Zen went up to his and Jaehee’s apartment, Jumin set his dirty coffee cup on the counter. V did the same, and, after a quick good-bye to Jaehee, they left.

 

Saeran’s eyes opened to see a pair of violet eyes staring back at him. A flash of guilt bolted through him, until he remembered that things were okay between them.

“You look so peaceful when you’re asleep.”

“You do, too. Did you sleep well?”

“I did.”

“We have school tomorrow,” Saeran said, stretching.

“Do we?”

“I think so.” Saeran sat up as Yoosung yawned. His eyes widened when Yoosung kissed his cheek.

“I missed you. A lot,” Yoosung said, wrapping his arms around Saeran’s waist.

“I missed you, too,” Saeran said. He turned toward his boyfriend, giving him a peck on the lips. He crawled out of the bed, followed by a Yoosung who didn’t want to let go of him. Saeran took one of Yoosung’s hands, which was good enough for the younger man. They wandered into the kitchen.

“What do you want to eat?” Saeran asked.

“I dunno. What’s here?” Saeran opened the fridge to see what was inside. There was quite a bit of food. Saeran found some actually prepared meals and pulled them out.

“Take your pick,” he said. Yoosung poked at them before grabbing a bowl of pasta and stuffing it in the microwave. Saeran grabbed a steak and put it in afterwards. They sat down to eat.

They almost finished when V and Jumin came in through the door.

“What day is it?” Yoosung asked.

“It’s Saturday,” Jumin said. Yoosung nodded.

“We don’t have school tomorrow.”

“Thank god,” Saeran replied.

“You’ve been doing pretty well, recently.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think I’m in the right major.”

“Neither do I.”

“It’s never too late to switch,” V said. Yoosung stabbed his pasta a little harder, but said nothing. Saeran watched him carefully, unsure of what he would do.

“That’s true. You’ll find something better that you want to do,” Saeran said. Yoosung smiled.

“I should get my stuff, huh?”

“Yeah.” Yoosung finished his plate of food and went off to the room that Jumin had lent him for the past couple days. Saeran checked the time. It was about two in the afternoon, now. He ate the rest of his steak, as Jumin and V went off to do something else.

He helped Yoosung carry his things down to where Jumin had his driver waiting for them. The computer tower was pretty heavy. It took both of them to carry it. Saeran silently cursed himself for being so weak. He needed to fix that.

Yoosung climbed into the car once he had his clothes and computer settled in. He slid over for Saeran to get in, patting the seat next to him.

“Come on. I can’t get all this into my apartment by myself.”

“That’s true.” Saeran sat down next to him, belting himself into the seat. Driver Kim hit the road, bringing them safely to Yoosung’s apartment. He even helped them bring everything up to the eighteenth floor.

“Thanks, Driver Kim,” Yoosung said.

“Yoosung, how are you?” Mr. Seong asked.

“I’m doing much better, now, Mr. Seong.”

“That’s good. And what about you, Saeran? How are you?”

“I-I’m fine,” Saeran said, surprised that Mr. Seong had remembered him. “Thank you, sir.” They went up the elevator, bringing everything inside. It only took the one trip. Driver Kim set the computer in its usual spot, then left once Yoosung had assured him everything was okay.

“Alright, I should probably go, too. I’ll see you tom--” Saeran got cut off as Yoosung crashed their lips together.

“Saeran.” His eyes had darkened, and there was a sultry tone in his voice. “I want you.” He pinned Saeran to the wall.

“What? Yoosung--” Saeran was cut off again as Yoosung kissed him hungrily. He pushed Yoosung off, and held him back.

“Saeran,” Yoosung breathed. Saeran held Yoosung back.

“Get ahold of yourself, idiot. Stop.”

“You don’t want me?”

“Gah. Not like this.”

“Please, Saeran.”

“No. I’m sorry.” Yoosung let him go, breathing hard. He brought himself under control, then headed straight to the kitchen. Saeran heard the refrigerator door open.

“Yoosung? Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine.” He was cooling himself off.

“Alright.” Saeran always managed to mess up, somehow. “I need to get home to Saeyoung before he gets too worried. I’ll call you tonight.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. It’s another thing for us to work through, right?”

“Right.”

 

Saeran walked through the door, and was instantly accosted by Saeyoung.

“Dude! There’s something you need to know.”

“What?”

“That guy whose wrist you broke found you. He’s bringing you to court.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup. Want me to take care of it?”

“Yeah. I don’t want to deal with this.”

“Alright. I’m on it.” Saeyoung headed back to his room, as if he hadn’t just about given Saeran a heart attack. Saeran went into his own room, cleaning up until dinner, and thinking about Yoosung’s… attempt. He hadn’t really hated it. He was surprised, and not ready for physical contact. But…

Once dinner was over, Saeran entered his room and settled himself down. He took out his phone and called Yoosung.

“Hey, Saeran,” Yoosung said.

“Hey, Yoosung. I’ve been thinking about what happened earlier.”

“And?”

“And while I’m not up for the physical part yet, it’s not something I would discount entirely...”

“No?”

“No. So I need you to do something for me.”

“Do what?”

“Get into your bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave some comments ^^


	13. Color in an Interlude: How Jaehee Met Zen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nice short chapter before we get into part 2 :3

“Assistant Kang, we have a commercial we’re shooting, and we need an actor for it,” said Jumin, walking into the office that early morning.

“I see. If you haven’t already chosen the actor, I do have one I recommend. He’s very popular, and handsome. His face is sure to increase sales of the product,” Jaehee said. She was a fan of this particular actor, and knew that his skills were brilliant. After all, not everyone can act with their eyes like he does.

“Get me a meeting with him, then. We’ll see if he’s good enough.”

“Understood.” Jaehee tapped in the phone number for the studio that this actor worked in, grinning like a dope as she hit the ‘call’ button for the first time. How many times had she imagined asking for Zen, pretending it was all professional when she really just wanted a moment of his time. It was too many, considering she called so quickly, and without even thinking about where her fingers were going.

She was excited to meet Zen, but she kept her emotions under wraps. She knew, of course, that meeting one’s heroes almost always led to disappointment, but she tried to keep such thoughts from clouding her. After all, Jaehee Kang had a job to do.

Once the date was set with the director, Jaehee notified Jumin. She wrote the date on at least three different calendars. It was hard to wait for the day to come, but come it did. Jumin brought her with him on the way to see her favorite actor.

“Who is this actor, if I may enquire?” Jumin asked her. Jaehee did her best to keep herself under control when she heard Jumin ask that. If she went off like a teapot and spouted a million things, Jumin might suspect nepotism.

“His name is Zen. He’s been in a number of musicals. His acting skills are above average, and his abilities in singing and dancing are unmatched --- among those he works with.”

“I see. Do you think he’ll be the right fit for the commercial?”

“I believe so, sir.”

“… is his name really Zen?”

“It’s a stage name.”

“Ah.”

Jaehee followed Jumin as they entered the studio that Zen and the other actors practiced in. She looked around, but didn’t see much aside from shadowy corners. The stage was brightly lit, at least. Actors were practicing onstage, getting ready for rehearsal to start. Jaehee swallowed thickly when she saw Zen. He stretched his arms over his head, shirt lifting just a bit over the waistband on his pants. She also saw several of the actors pause for a moment to stare.

She snapped herself out of her trance immediately. Jumin continued onward toward the stage, stopping when the director approached.

“Mr. Han, hello, and welcome to our little stage. I’m glad you came,” the director said.

“It’s a fine stage,” Jumin said, ever the charmer. If only they knew what he was really like. “I came here because I heard from my assistant that you have an excellent actor here by the name of Zen. I’d like for him to act in a commercial, if that’s possible.”

Jaehee watched the director. She kept her eyes off of Zen, lest she get too distracted.

“Of course. You can ask him yourself, if you’d like.”

“That would be good. Thank you.”

“Zen! Someone’s here for you!” the director shouted. Zen looked over. His eyes were dark, but his hair was really light. Jaehee had studied up on how colors looked in the gray scale that everyone was born with. She wondered what his coloration was, but it didn’t matter. She was too busy with work for a love life, and certainly too busy to meet her soulmate.

Zen approached, wondering at who was here to see him. He mopped his face with a towel. Jaehee breathed deeply, maintaining control of herself.

“What do you need?” Zen asked Jumin.

“I’m looking for someone to star in a commercial for my company.”

“And you’re looking for me?” Zen raised a perfect eyebrow. Jaehee averted her attention to Jumin.

“Indeed. My assistant recommended you. She said you’re good at acting.”

“Really?” Zen looked straight at Jaehee, moving a bit closer to get a better look. He smiled his signature smile, and took her hands in his. Jaehee felt herself starting to blush.

“Well, if someone as pretty as you recommended me, how can I say no?” Jaehee couldn’t answer. She was completely starstruck. Zen met her gaze, and in a blink, she discovered that his eyes were red. His eyes were a beautiful ruby color and she was seeing color but that meant she had met her soulmate which meant that she was supposed to be with Zen except that he was famous actor and…

Oh no. No no no no no no no no no no. The fandom would tear her to shreds.

Zen’s smile only got bigger. His eyes flicked all over her, drinking in the color he saw.

“I never expected to meet my soulmate like this,” he said excitedly. Jaehee squeaked and ran. She ended up in the bathroom, locking the door behind her quickly. She tried to bring her breathing back from its frazzled state, tried to stop the hyperventilation, but it was no use.

Why was this happening to her? Why did Zen have to be her soulmate? This wasn’t good. Jaehee kept trying to breathe, eventually making some progress.

“Excuse me? Miss Assistant? Are you okay?” That was Zen. They hadn’t even been introduced by name, yet. Jaehee leaned over the sink, pulling her fake glasses off.

“I- I...” She couldn’t even finish her sentence.

“Miss Assistant?” He was getting worried. “Can I come in?” The door jiggled, but didn’t budge. Jaehee heard Jumin outside, and Zen. She splashed water on her face.

“Assistant Kang, come out here.” She couldn’t disobey an order. She couldn’t go out there. She walked to the door.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Han. I’m going to need a few minutes to pull myself together.”

“Can you unlock the door? I’m worried about you,” Zen said.

“No,” Jaehee replied. She sank to the floor. How could this happen? Why did it have to be him? She was in so much trouble. If word of this got out…

“Come on, please? I… I want to talk to you. Jumin, could you give us some privacy?” Jaehee heard Jumin say something that was muffled by the door. She imagined it was something sarcastic and patronizing, in that monotone he always spoke in.

“Oh my god. Go away. I’m trying to calm her down.” Yeah, Jumin was being an ass. Jaehee suppressed a snicker. At least she wasn’t alone in thinking he was annoying.

“Did you just laugh?” Zen asked. His hearing was really good. “It was cute. Jumin, I swear to God. Go away!” Jaehee laughed out loud, stopping herself as soon as possible. She felt tears fall down her face. This was extremely unprofessional. She wasn’t sure how much worse it could get.

“Fine, what’s the commercial? It’s for cats? I can’t. I’m allergic… do you want me to die!? I can’t do your commercial if it involves cats.”

Thank god, he hated cats too. It sounded like Jumin had left.

“Hey,” Zen said softly. “What’s your name?”

“Jaehee Kang,” Jaehee said.

“I’m Hyun Ryu. This is pretty sudden, huh? You must be feeling scared.”

“A bit, yes.” But she was getting better.

“Yeah, me too. Honestly, I never expected to meet my soulmate like this. I thought I would be… I dunno. Walking around and just meeting her on the street. Or maybe she’d be the one to make me coffee. But this works, too.” He paused. “I want to get to know you better, and see you properly. Can you come out?”

Jaehee took a deep breath, making her decision. She stood up and unlocked the door. This had happened. They were soulmates, and there was no doubting it. She saw no reason to hold off on it. Jaehee opened the door, looking up at Zen --- at Hyun.

“Hey, babe,” he said, smiling.

“Hello,” Jaehee replied, smiling. Zen’s smiled flickered for a moment. He moved his hands to her cheeks. Jaehee stiffened at the touch. Zen wiped the tears off her face.

“I’m sorry. We haven’t even known each other for ten minutes and I’ve already made you cry.”

“It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Oh.” Jaehee went back into the bathroom for a moment to grab her glasses.

“You wear glasses?”

“Yes. Mr. Han requires that I wear them for work.”

“Weird guy.”

“Indeed. And… I agree with you about cats. I don’t like them much, either. Mr. Han forces me to take care of his all the time.”

“He has a cat?”

“Yes, and he is utterly obsessed with them.”

“That explains the commercial.” Zen carded his hair, resting his hand on the side of his head as he sighed.

“Indeed.” Jaehee looked at Zen’s red eyes again, noting how they almost seemed to shift and sparkle. Every emotion he felt was portrayed through them. His silver hair was tied into a rat tail. It had been a long time since Jaehee had had long hair. She pulled at a lock absentmindedly.

“Your hair is beautiful,” Zen said, pulling at the same lock. He took her hand, holding it gently. Then he pulled her into a hug. “I have to get back to rehearsal.”

“I understand. Here,” Jaehee said, fishing a piece of paper out of her pocket. She pulled out a pen, and wrote down her number, then handed it to Zen. Zen smiled.

“Thanks.”

“It’s nothing.”

Zen went back to his rehearsal after they said goodbye, and Jaehee left with Jumin. It hadn’t worked out with him, as far as the commercial, but that was okay. She had made a new acquaintance, and found herself looking forward to seeing more of him.

She couldn’t help giggling on the ride back to the office. Jumin didn’t say anything to her about her behavior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awww so cuuuute. if you want more interludes, or an entire fic with these two, comment below ^^ or just tell me your favorite part or whatever
> 
> more things happening next time, broskis


	14. Color in a Shedding

Saeran wasn’t sure if he had actually been ready for that. He lay in his bed, his phone charging on the nightstand next to him. He wasn’t sure if he was really ready for anything sexual. He had just… wanted to do something for Yoosung, since he seemed so desperate earlier.

Was Yoosung ready for it? Both times, it hadn’t been much for that whole “enthusiastic consent” thing he had been told was important. Saeran wondered if it had been a mistake. He got out of bed, the air in his room cold against bare skin, grabbed his anxiety plush, then hit himself over the head with it.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” He should have waited. He shouldn’t have done this at all. How could he have been so stupid to thing that this was actually something that Yoosung would want? Saeran shook his head in a vain attempt to dismiss the thoughts swirling in his head like a hurricane. There was nothing to do about it now. He would just have to wait for morning.

He fell asleep worrying about Yoosung and how he was feeling.

 

Yoosung lay back, his phone charging nearby, its constant alarm ready to go off and give him hell in the morning with its soft chiming. He threaded his fingers together under his head, recalling the phone call he’d just had with Saeran. It was… certainly thrilling.

Saeran’s voice, usually so high and feminine and beautiful, had fallen at least a solid octave. It was husky, and low, and such a turn-on. His commands made Yoosung feel so good. The tone, and what Yoosung was told to do, was so good. And yet…

Yoosung had to admit. He hadn’t really meant to be sexual with Saeran earlier. Well, he had, but it was confusing. He was confused, didn’t fully understand what he was doing. Yoosung heaved a sigh, and looked at his phone. Was Saeran confused by all of this, too? He probably was. The poor thing was still recovering from literal years of abuse, and here Yoosung was, trying to have his way with him without even considering how Saeran might feel. And then Saeran came back and… did that. Over the phone, sure, but it was still---

Yoosung could barely even think the word. He had plenty of experience with himself, felt confident in his abilities to give someone at least a handjob, if he needed or wanted, but to handle himself with someone else telling him what to do. That was a completely different experience.

And the fact that he had liked being ordered? That was new in itself. He had never had such an experience before, with someone telling him where to touch, and how. And Saeran had made him feel so good. It was a pleasurable experience, to be sure. Yoosung just about turned himself on again from thinking about it.

What if Saeran hated him, now? Would he? They had promised to stay together, but what if this wrecked that? Yoosung didn’t want to lose him. It would be too painful if Saeran left him. He could feel his heart squeezing itself, clenching hard in his chest. He tried to breathe, but found it difficult.

Saeran wouldn’t leave him. Saeran won’t leave him. Yoosung repeated this to himself, his heart slowly calming down and returning to its normal pattern. He breathed deeply over and over again, pulling himself together. They could talk it out in the morning. For now, it was late enough that Yoosung wanted to sleep. After the events of the day, he was tired.

He missed sleeping with Saeran, and being wrapped safely in his arms.

What if Saeran was thinking about Yoosung wanting to leave him? That would be horrible, too. Yoosung felt his stomach flip over, and before he knew it, his hand was reaching for his phone, intent on calling Saeran to let him know that he was okay, that they were okay. He hit speed dial 1, thankful for the first time in months that he had a flip phone. It took four rings, but Saeran finally answered.

“Yoosung?” he asked sleepily.

“Hey. I couldn’t stop thinking about earlier and… I’m sorry I tried to take advantage of you. I don’t want to hurt you,” Yoosung said.

“Oh. I shouldn’t have called you. It was rash, wasn’t it?”

“Maybe, but I liked it.”

“…really?”

“Yeah! I liked having you tell me what to do. I just called to tell you that I don’t want us to break up because of this. I meant what I said. I want to stay with you forever.”

“Me too. Yoosung, thank you.”

“You’re welcome?”

“I’m glad I got the chance to meet you.”

“Me too. Good night, Saeran.”

“Good night, Yoosung.” Yoosung hung up, setting his phone back on his dresser. He settled down into his bed, curling up and grinning like an idiot. He was so glad that Saeran was still there.

 

Saeran held the phone in his hand long after the call had ended. His anxiety plush was nestled in his arms. He wished for a moment that it was Yoosung, and then for a long time after that. Finally, Saeran put the phone down, cuddling the plush and falling asleep.

When he awoke the next morning, he put his plush back where it was supposed to be: near his computer, where he spent the most time. He pulled his phone off its charger and brought it with him into the bathroom, just in case Yoosung texted him or something.

He kind of wanted to text Yoosung. So, he did.

Good morning<

Was that too formal? Why did he capitalize the G?

>good morning!  
>how are you?

Yoosung’s reply was almost instant. Saeran replied quickly, wanting to keep the conversation from dying.

im fine, you?<

>doing great  
>can I call you?  
>i wanna hear your voice

sure<

His phone started buzzing a moment after. Yoosung was fast. Saeran accepted the call, putting his phone next to his ear and clenching it between his head and shoulder as he brushed his teeth. It was a bit awkward, but hopefully Yoosung wouldn’t mind too much.

“Morning,” Saeran said.

“Morning. It’s so good to hear your voice.”

“You really like it that much?”

“Yeah! It sounds really nice,” Yoosung said with conviction. Saeran chuckled, keeping it quiet. He didn’t want to bother Saeyoung and Miyoung.

“What are you up to right now?”

“Not school, thank god. I can’t believe break’s almost over already.”

“I know. But, we’ll be able to talk more once the new semester starts.”

“Yeah, we can!” Saeran looked at his hair, staring at the roots and willing them to grow out more. His hair was getting in the way of his eyes, but he didn’t want to cut it yet. It was weird for him to be able to see red, and he wanted to hold onto his bleached hair for as long as possible, at least until his natural hair made it to a respectable length itself.

“I’ve been growing my hair out,” he said.

“I noticed. Red looks good on you.”

“Thanks. What’s your natural hair color?”

“Brown.” Of course it was, everything was brown. “I like it blond, but I might grow mine out, too.”

“I want to see it in its natural state,” Saeran said. He brushed his teeth quickly but thoroughly, then spat into the sink.

“I want to see yours, too. Hey, I don’t have a lot of money for a date, but we could go for a walk later, if you want?”

“Sounds good. Should I go to your place? Around noon?”

“That’s perfect.”

“Alright, I’ll see you then,” Saeran said.

“See you,” Yoosung replied. They hung up, and Saeran took a shower. He knew he couldn’t just wash the bleach out, but maybe he could support hair growth somehow? He asked the internet when he got out, and found tips in a list. Balanced diet, obviously. Use oil, massage the scalp, flip your hair upside down. Stay stress free? HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA yeah like that was going to happen.

Saeran figured that he could at least flip his hair over and eat better, if nothing else. He didn’t really pay attention to the rest of the list.

He got dressed, walking out of his room and finding breakfast waiting for him. It was kind of odd, thinking about how Yoosung took care of himself, that Saeran basically had food handed to him. He ate the food, anyway, since it was there, but he would have to figure out how to start taking care of himself more. He found himself wanting to be more independent.

Saeran had spent his life relying on others for everything, and he was finally starting to get the hang of being alive as an individual. He wanted to do this more.

Shoveling the last of his food into his mouth, Saeran checked the time and booted up his computer. Yoosung’s birthday was a couple months away, and that meant Saeran needed to get his present ready. The next installment of Star Adventures was on its way.

When 11:00 rolled around, Saeran left his computer where it was, pulling his shoes on and heading to the garage.

“Saeran!” Saeyoung called.

“Yeah?”

“I tried to get rid of the case file, but I can’t. It’s well-guarded, and it looks like there are copies I can’t reach. Your court date is March 12th. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I can handle it, fine.”

“Alright. You been growing your hair out?”

“Yeah.”

“Looks good.” They parted ways, and Saeran got into his car. He somehow managed to drive all the way to Yoosung’s building without crashing or having a panic attack, so that was good. He parked outside the building, walking in at 11:30. Oops.

I got here a bit early<

>ill come down

Yoosung was so accommodating. How had Saeran gotten so lucky? And what had he done for Yoosung? Saeran bit his lip nervously. Was he bothering Yoosung? Had his boyfriend been doing something important? This was suddenly a problem. Saeran dug his nails lightly into his jacket, then stopped.

Why was he so jumpy? It had to be the court date. Right?

Yoosung stepped out of the elevator, face lighting up when he saw Saeran. They were going to be together forever. That was a promise. Saeran held tightly to that as his mind whispered that promises break.

Saeran didn’t miss the slight fall in Yoosung’s smile as he approached.

“Your hair’s getting in your eyes. Hang on.” Yoosung pulled one of his clips out of his hair, moving closer to Saeran. He moved into his bubble, reaching a hand out, and tucked some hair behind Saeran’s ear. Saeran stiffened. Yoosung used the clip on the rest of Saeran’s bangs, keeping them out of the way.

“There,” Yoosung said happily. “And now I can see your eyes. They’re a nice color. The best color.”

“No way. Best color’s violet,” Saeran replied, booping Yoosung’s nose. Yoosung giggled. “Come on.”

“Are we going anywhere in particular?”

“Is there anywhere you want to go?”

“Nah. Let’s go explore!” And just like that, Yoosung was the one dragging Saeran along as they went out. He had a heavy gray coat on, dark red earmuffs, and a scarf to match. Saeran felt like his own coat that he’d been wearing since he had been under the care of Rika needed to go. He wanted a new one, a nice one.

One that didn’t remind him of bad memories.

“Maybe we can go to a coat store?”

“Sure. We can find something you like.” They headed out, hand in hand. Saeran felt a bit anxious because they were holding hands so publicly, but he shook it off as best he could. He really needed to do something about this.

“So… I broke a man’s wrist. And he’s taking me to court in March.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Okay, this was feeling alright. Yoosung was still here. In fact, he was squeezing Saeran’s hand a little tighter, like… an act of solidarity? Saeran certainly hoped so.

“What date?”

“March 12th. Oh.”

“That’s my birthday.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay! You’ll go into court, and I’ll go with you. No matter what, we’ll be together.”

“Thanks. Are you sure, though? I mean, don’t we have class on that day?”

“Yeah, but you’re more important than a day of class. Besides, maybe I can spend some of that time figuring out what I actually want to do with my life.”

“Maybe. I’ll be glad to have you there. Dinner’s on me, since it’ll be your birthday.” Yoosung grinned, and they kept walking. He seemed to be thinking about something. Saeran knew him, though. He would say what he wanted to say when he had his thoughts a bit more organized.

“There’s a restaurant I heard about that has a really nice chicken dish. I want to try it.”

“What’s the name of the restaurant?”

“I don’t remember. But I remember who was talking about it, so I can ask her later.”

“Okay.” Saeran looked around at the shops surrounding them. He paused for a moment in front of a jewelry store. Yoosung looked at him, then at the store, and headed in.

“Wait, Yoosung, what are you doing?”

“I’m going in. You want to look around in here, right? You paused for a moment.”

“You know me too well,” Saeran said, unamused. Yoosung just smiled. They headed inside, looking around at all the pretty gemstones and various pieces of jewelry.

“Maybe I should get my ear repierced,” Saeran said.

“If you do, I’ll get mine pierced, too. I’ve always wanted to try having an earring.”

“You’d look good with an earring.” Saeran looked around at the selections for earrings. He found a pair of star and moon. Yoosung would look good with the star. Both of them were gold. Saeran thought of what he would look like with red hair and a gold moon. Also good, he decided. He grabbed the pair, showing it to Yoosung.

Yoosung agreed that they were an excellent pair to get. At the counter, the cashier asked if they wanted to get their ears pierced. Saeran agreed readily, and Yoosung right after.

“One for each of us,” Saeran said. They headed into the back, where the employees had their piercing tools. Saeran noted that they were all sterilized, and nodded. He sat down first, figuring that his calm exterior would help keep Yoosung from freaking out. The employee in charge of piercing asked him which one he wanted. He pointed to the right ear, since that was the one Yoosung had tucked hair behind. It was out in the open, anyway.

He felt the needle go in, but didn’t even flinch. His old holes may have closed up, but that didn’t mean he was sensitive to this again. It only hurt the first time, for him.

“Alright. Next?” Saeran got up, staying close as Yoosung sat down. The blond was shaking slightly, obviously nervous about what was going to happen. He breathed in and out deeply, trying to calm his nerves. Saeran held his hand.

“It’s not that bad. Just a moment of pain, and then it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“Okay --- auck!” Yoosung flinched as the needle punched through his lobe, also on the right ear. Saeran realized that they were basically matching.

“Good work,” Saeran said, smiling. He hoped he didn’t sound sarcastic.

“There, all done. You’re good to go. Keep those in for six weeks, okay? And wash them twice a day.”

“We will.”

“Thank you!” They went back up to the front, paying for the earrings and the piercings, then headed out again. Yoosung tucked the earrings into his coat.

It wasn’t too long before they found a clothing store. They headed inside, Saeran looking for the coats. Once he found them, he headed toward them immediately. Yoosung started poking around the racks, looking for a good coat.

“Check this out! It’s white.”

“It looks good.” Saeran found himself holding the white coat two seconds later. He pulled his black coat off, slipping the white one on. “How do I look?”

“Really good. I like it.”

“Me too.” Saeran wasn’t a fan of shopping, so they went and bought the coat. He waited until they were outside the store before transferring his stuff into his new coat. His wallet and phone were obvious, but he wasn’t sure what he still had in this thing. Saeran had a tendency to not clean things out properly.

He found a gun, which was promptly shoved back into his black coat.

“What was that?”

“Something I’d rather get rid of than keep,” Saeran said. The two of them kept walking, looking at different shops. They entered a grocery store.

“I’m getting hungry,” Yoosung said, beelining to the prepared meals. Saeran followed him quickly, trying to keep up. It was harder than he’d anticipated. Yoosung could be fast when he wanted something.

“Yoosung, slow down,” Saeran said, running out of breath. Yoosung did slow down --- slightly. They reached the food, and Yoosung started filling a takeout box. Saeran dumped some stuff he liked into it, as well.

Then he remembered that he didn’t have a license to carry weapons, anymore. It was revoked a year ago.

He kept quiet about it, and didn’t tell Yoosung.

“Alright, this should be good.”

“It looks tasty,” Saeran said. Yoosung made the purchase, then they sat outside and ate together. Saeran looked up at the sky, watching the clouds go rolling by. It was an overcast day, and the sun was close to the horizon, already. Everything was darker than necessary.

“We should head home, soon,” Yoosung said.

“Yeah,” Saeran said, absentmindedly. He had just watched a cloud transform from a person to a dragon. It was pretty cool. Something hit his lips. He looked at Yoosung, who was trying to shove food into his mouth. He opened it, then pointed to the clouds.

“Dragon,” he said. Yoosung looked up.

“Oh, yeah! That looks like the final boss in one of LoLoL’s dungeons.”

“Yeah, it does.” After more bits of food were thrust into his mouth, and the remaining ones put in there willingly by Saeran, he figured that it was time to get a move on, if they wanted to get home before dark settled in completely.

Yoosung held his hand the whole way home, as the street lights were turned on. Saeran held his coat in his other hand, looking at Yoosung in the glow of the lamps. He was always so peaceful. Saeran felt an impulse to put his arm around Yoosung’s shoulders, and followed through on it, resting his hand gently.

Yoosung looked at him, and smiled, moving just a bit closer. In moments like these, Saeran felt like the world, with all of its color, got just a bit brighter. Yoosung’s arm snaked around his waist, clinging to him.

They reached Yoosung’s apartment too quickly. Saeran walked him up, pausing for a moment outside his door. It was cold in the evening air.

“Thanks for going out with me, today,” Saeran said.

“Thanks for offering. I like spending time with you,” Yoosung replied. Saeran kissed him, and Yoosung responded instantly. Once they broke apart, Yoosung drifted into his apartment. The door closed, and Saeran went back to his car.

Anxiety be damned. As long as Yoosung was around, Saeran felt like he could handle anything.

 

He returned home to find a strange man sitting on the couch. He was probably one of Saeyoung’s acquaintances from whenever, so Saeran kept walking toward his room.

“Are you Saeran Choi?” the man asked.

“Who’s asking?” Saeran replied, wary.

“I’m the attorney who will be handling his case.”

“Ah. Yeah, that’s me.”

“I see. Come, sit down, and tell me what happened. We can start building a case once I know the facts.”

“Alright.” Saeran sat down near the attorney. “Did my brother hire you?” That would mean he was top notch, but also expensive. Saeran wasn’t worth that much money, he thought.

“Sort of. I was asked by Jumin Han to handle this case.” Oh. So money wasn’t even a problem this time around. Saeran pulled a leg up, tossing his black jacket behind him and taking the white one off.

“Okay. I was in line at the bank to cash a check. The guy in front of me was super impatient, and yelled at the teller. I told him off, and after I went outside, he was waiting for me. I tried to ignore him, but he refused to leave me alone. So I broke his wrist to get him off my back.”

“I see. You cashed the check first?”

“Yeah. The teller was nice.”

“Do you remember the teller’s name?”

“No. I think I can remember what she looked like. If you look at the time of the security tape, you’ll know who was on shift. Whichever one can tell you about the guy from that day, that’s the one.” Saeran had been in legal altercations before. He knew where to find evidence --- and how to hide it.

He didn’t look at his black coat.

“Thank you. This has been a productive meeting. I’ll call you if I need any more information,” the attorney said, getting up. Saeran showed him to the door, waiting until the man was safely away from the apartment, then immediately made plans as to how he was going to safely dispose of the gun. He could just throw it out, but if someone saw it, they’d get suspicious. It would leave too many tracks.

He would be going out at midnight, then, to a dumpster on the other side of town. He’d dump his black coat in another location, and return home an unrecognizable person. But his hair would give him away, and if he wore his hood…

Saeran waited until midnight, as he had decided. He ate dinner, went to bed, called Yoosung, then waited until midnight had come and gone. He left the house at quarter of one, walking out into the night with his black coat on for the last time, his new white one under it. The gun was in its usual pocket. Without need of it for the past year, he’d forgotten it was there. He wondered what it would feel like, not having the familiar weight on him.

It didn’t matter. He walked to the subway, getting on, and went to a completely random location. Saeran found a random dumpster, popped the clip out, and buried it. He tossed the bullet already in the chamber into another one, and dismantled the gun itself, moving each piece into a different location. If anyone knew what they were separately, they wouldn’t be able to recreate the gun.

It was almost foolproof, unless someone was desperate to get their hands on it.

He did feel a bit weird, without the gun on him, but it was a good weird. Saeran hopped onto another train, going home. He got off a couple stops away, tossed his coat into a trashcan outside some shop that was still open at this godforsaken hour, and then headed home.

All he had to worry about was the court. If his attorney knew what he was doing, Saeran would be getting off light. He told himself repeatedly that it wasn’t entirely his fault this had happened. Maybe he could’ve handled it a bit better, but things happened, and that was how it played out.

Everything would be okay.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> college is messing with my ability to keep a schedule. at this point, im figuring if i post on monday, im good.
> 
> also my mom is reading my fanfiction so theres that oh boy


	15. Color in Seollal

“Hey, Saeran. My parents are hosting my family’s New Year celebration at their house, this year, if you want to come. Um, we’d be staying over, but if that makes you uncomfortable, they’re not far from where I live, so we can just stay nights at my place.”

“New Year’s? Didn’t that just happen?”

“Yeah, that was the calendar flip, but this is a major holiday. Everyone gets three days off, and food gets super expensive.”

“Oh, right. Seollal. I… haven’t celebrated that in years,” Saeran said, thinking of his mother and father. He had never known any other family aside from them, and, knowing that Seollal was a time to honor one’s ancestors, it wasn’t really something he wanted to celebrate.

“Yeah, I figured. I think I mentioned to my mom that it was just you and Saeyoung together, and she invited you to join us. She said that you can be part of our family, if you want.”

“...really?”

“Of course!”

“I don’t deser--”

“Saeran, you are more than deserving of this. Oh! I should call Miyoung and tell her to bring Saeyoung to her own celebration, if she’s going home.”

“She is.” I am? Saeran thought. It had been months since they started dating, three months. Yoosung had been pounding it into his head this entire time that he deserved to be happy, and to do things without feeling guilty, and Saeran was starting to believe it. He didn’t voice his concerns so much, anymore, but he still felt like he would just be imposing.

“Good! So, how about it? Would you like to come with me for the Lunar New Year?” Saeran thought about it for a moment. It would be good, right? He had a new family he could be a part of. They liked him, as far as he could figure.

Either that, or it was total pity and they just felt bad for Yoosung.

It would be okay with Yoosung there. They liked him, and if they were really okay with Saeran being there, then he could stand it, for a little while. But still, three days?

“Okay,” Saeran said. “I’ll try to stay over, too.”

“Really? Alright, I’ll tell my mom! See you soon,” Yoosung said, getting quiet at the end and sending a kiss through. Saeran sent one back. He needed to tell Yoosung that he loved it when he got quiet like that. It was like he was whispering a secret and telling the whole world at once, because Saeran was his whole world.

How was he going to do this? Seollal was only a few days away. Yoosung would be too busy getting things ready to be able to see Saeran before it was time to go. Saeran looked around his room, seeing the dark colors still on the walls. He wondered what he wanted to paint there, instead. It had to be a bright color.

Maybe this celebration would give him some ideas. He left his room to get a snack from the kitchen. As he entered, he saw Miyoung chatting on the phone.

“It’s a good idea, but, last time I offered, he declined. He said he didn’t want to be a bother.” Saeran knew exactly what she was talking about. He rolled his eyes, grabbed some yogurt out of the fridge, along with a spoon from its drawer, and headed to his brother’s room.

Now that Saeyoung was running a toy shop, it was easier to wake him up in the morning, so Miyoung said. She told him that before he quit the agency and got away safely, he used to stay up all night. Saeran had been in the hospital that entire time, and come home after Saeyoung had started normalizing his sleep schedule.

Saeran banged on the door.

“Hey! Stupid brother!” he called.

“Saeran? What are you doing? This is the first time you’ve knocked on my door.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Seollal’s coming up.”

“Do you want to celebrate?” Saeyoung asked, rubbing his eyes.

“Not really, but Yoosung invited me to go to his family’s gathering. Miyoung’s going to hers, so that would leave you alone,” Saeran replied.

“I should go with Miyoung. I know, I should, it’s just...”

“I know.” Mom and Dad. They both knew. “Go with her. Honor her ancestors. They’re your family, too, now.”

“Yeah. You, too, Saeran. And, hey, your hair’s looking good. Can you see?” Saeyoung’s smirk had appeared. He was awake.

“I can see that shit-eating grin on your face,” Saeran shot back. He’d been awake for an hour. Saeyoung could bite him. He went back to his room and opened his yogurt, sitting down to eat it and brushing strands of pink out of his face. It was pink like the yogurt he was eating. It was pretty tasty.

His hair was getting pretty long, reaching almost to his lips at this point, but he didn’t trust himself enough to take care of it himself. He could ask Miyoung, but Saeyoung was still around, and awake, which meant he would get involved. He could call Yoosung.

Oh, right. He could call Yoosung.

“Hey, Yoosung,” Saeran said, once his boyfriend had picked up.

“Hey, Saeran. Did you want something?”

“Yeah. My, uh… my hair’s getting long. Do you think you could cut it?” Saeran asked. He heard a long gasp as Yoosung got excited.

“Yes! Yes, I can cut it!”

“What’s got you so excited?”

“Oh, it’s a romantic thing. Um, getting to cut your partner’s hair.”

“I see. Can’t wait. When should I come over?”

“Now is fine!”

“Alright. See you soon,” Saeran said.

“See you,” Yoosung replied. The call ended, and Saeran grabbed his laptop setup, shoving into his bag, along with some overnight stuff, just in case. He doubted that he would end up staying with Yoosung the entire day, but it was possible.

He was thinking more and more about possibilities in the future. It was strange for him.

“I’m going out!” Saeran said, pulling his coat on. He entered the garage and got into his car, noting the stark contrast between the white coat and black paint. For a moment, his old coat popped into his mind, but it was soon replaced as he swept his hair out of the way --- again.

 

Yoosung’s apartment building was as quiet as ever, the same walls and plants, same elevator. And yet, there was something in the air, that day. Saeran couldn’t put his finger on it. He knocked on Yoosung’s door, and waited a total of two seconds before the door was opened.

“Hey! Good morning!”

“Morning. I brought food,” Saeran said, holding up a bag. It had a couple breakfast sandwiches from some fast food place he had seen multiple times on the way. Golden arches announced its presence from miles away, each pair leading potential customers to the store.

“Sweet! I haven’t had fast food for awhile,” Yoosung said.

“That’s good. Means you’re eating healthy.”

“What about you? When’s the last time you had fast food?”

“About… two months ago? I think. When Saeyoung dragged Miyoung and me out on that trip.”

“Oh, right! The fishing trip, right?”

“Yeah. I think he’s still mad that I caught more fish,” Saeran said, smirking.

“Serves him right. He’s always so cocky. Anyway, any time you’re ready, I’ve got a chair in the kitchen for you to sit in while I cut your hair.”

“Thanks.” They sat on Yoosung’s bed, eating their breakfast, and chatting about what had happened since their last LoLoL escapade last night. Saeran was getting good with Misericorde and handling being a rogue. He was keeping up in dungeons, at least, and doing well with the battle arenas.

“Pretty soon, you’ll be able to join my dungeoneering group,” Yoosung said.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah! It’ll be super cool! You ready for your haircut?” Saeran nodded, moving toward the kitchen. Yoosung followed, grabbing a pair of scissors as Saeran sat down. The chair was position in the middle of the floor, with the back facing the sink.

“Do you just want a trim, for now? Your natural hair is pretty long, so I could cut the bleach off,” Yoosung said, holding some of the hair in one hand, and his desk scissors in the other. Saeran thought for a moment.

“Take the bleach off. New year, right?”

“Right!” Yoosung grinned, then snipped carefully at Saeran’s hair, taking care not to cut the red. Bit by bit, Saeran watched as gray hair fell to the floor in lazy swirls. He looked straight ahead at the fridge, covered in magnets. There were a few that said ‘LOLOL,’ and a dog one. Saeran liked dogs. He liked cats, too, especially Elizabeth the 3rd, but dogs were really nice.

Yoosung started staring intently at him.

“What?” Saeran asked.

“I’m just making sure I got it all, and I think I did. Come into the bathroom, so you can see,” Yoosung said, taking Saeran’s hand. They walked into the bathroom, and Saeran looked into the mirror.

“Whoa...” he muttered.

“Yeah, you look pretty different. But it’s a good different.” Yoosung hugged him from behind. Saeran relaxed into his touch, feeling pretty happy. His past was drifting away, bit by bit. His old coat and gun were gone, his hair was coming in a different, brighter color. Even Rika was starting to ebb away.

“Thank you, Yoosung. For everything.”

“Everything?”

“Yeah,” Saeran said. He turned to face the younger man, smiling softly. Things were going okay, right then. He kissed Yoosung gently. “Thank you, for being in my life.”

“Y-you’re welcome.” Yoosung kissed him back, before they went back into the bedroom to watch TV. Saeran considered the possibilities, but this moment was perfect as it was. He looped an arm around Yoosung’s shoulder as they cuddled on the bed, and wished it would never end.

 

It did, of course, because time has a nasty habit of not stopping. It was the day before Seollal, the celebration of the Lunar New Year, and that meant that families were gathering together. This year, the rooster was in, which was pretty cool.

Saeran found himself standing in Yoosung’s parents’ house yet again, a holiday intruder for the second time. This time around, there were a lot more people. Saeran was introduced to aunts and uncles who hadn’t been around to celebrate Christmas last time, as well as another pair of grandparents. There were more people his age, too, and even some smaller kids.

“Saeran, what’s your birth date?” Granny Kim asked.

“June 11th, 1995,” Saeran answered. He wasn’t sure what this was about, but even with having only met the elder once before, he knew better than to question her. What Granny said, went. She was doing something odd, and finished a strange little ritual before looking Saeran dead in the eye. It was unnerving.

“You’re going to have bad luck in love, this year,” she said.

“Well, fuck,” Saeran replied without thinking. Granny just laughed.

“I thought the same thing, when my fortune said I would have bad luck!”

“Did you get your fortune told?” Yoosung asked, coming over with a plate of food. He handed another one to Saeran.

“Yeah, apparently I’m gonna have shit luck with love this year,” Saeran replied.

“Don’t worry about it. Fortune telling doesn’t always get it right. Besides, it doesn’t mean you’ll have bad luck, it’s just that love’s not… gonna be a focus,” Yoosung said. He set his chopsticks on his plate, staring off.

“Hey, it’s okay. Relationships aren’t built based on a year. They’re forever, right?”

“Right!” That perked him up. Saeran was getting good at copying Miyoung. He shoved Yoosung lightly, smirking.

“Hey!” Yoosung said, laughing. He pushed Saeran back, then focused as his grandma called for his attention, so he could get his fortune told.

“This is a very good year for love, for you.”

“Really?” Yoosung asked. Saeran wasn’t very surprised. Love was good for Yoosung, and not him. It was pretty typical. No, Yoosung had said that his fortune meant his love wouldn’t go far.

“Um, Granny. Is there a reason my love life isn’t going to go far?” That was a stupid thing to ask.

“You need to focus on your career.” Well, that made that easier. But it brought Saeran around to another problem: he didn’t know what he really wanted to do with his life. He knew that, while coding and hacking were skills he had and could use, that they weren’t really what he wanted to focus on.

“Guess this is a good year to focus on what you want to do, huh?”

“Yeah,” Saeran said. “It is. Maybe I can finally figure out what I want to do with my life.”

The other started talking, and turned from one topic to the next. Saeran was able to join in on occasion, giving enough that the Kims didn’t really expect him to do much more.

They played games, and Saeran learned how to play yut nori. He threw the sticks that decided the number of spaces to move, trying to figure out how to get them to roll the way he wanted them to so he could win.

He didn’t quite succeed, but he got close.

“Wow, you’re really good at throwing the jangjak,” Yoosung’s sister said. Saeran smirked.

“Thanks.” He didn’t win, either, but that was okay. Yoosung won, predictably. The others seemed surprised, but Saeran knew better. No one was as good at calculating on the fly as Yoosung could be. When they played again, Yoosung and Saeran teamed up, securing victory early on, but letting the game play on before winning.

Seollal ended, and Saeran was sitting on a mattress on the floor with Yoosung on his old bed. They were browsing the internet, Saeran looking at various news articles, Yoosung on one of his social media accounts. Saeran had considered getting one, but they all seemed… open. Like he would lose his privacy if he joined.

“Hey, Saeran, you don’t have to sleep on the floor if you don’t want to. There’s plenty of room on my bed,” Yoosung said, patting the mattress next to him.

“And what would your mother say if she saw us curled up next to each other the next morning?”

“Oh, yeah.” Yoosung’s mom was old-fashioned, and that meant that unmarried couples didn’t sleep together, or live together. It reminded Saeran of Jumin. He laid down on the mattress, pulling the blanket up over him. Yoosung did the same, turning to face him.

“I really want to cuddle with you,” Yoosung said, pouting.

“I do, too, but I don’t want your mother to hate me,” Saeran said. His head felt kind of weird, with the weight of the hair gone.

“Yeah, that wouldn’t be fun. Good night.” Yoosung leaned over to kiss Saeran, who met him halfway. Their lips parted with a small pop, and Yoosung grinned.

“I really like hanging out with you,” he said.

“Me, too. I like being with you.” Saeran smiled, then fell asleep.

 

The next day, Saeran found himself dressed in hanbok. He looked at the traditional clothing on him, not remembering a time when he had ever worn it before. His mother had gotten him and Saeyoung a couple cookies, and that was basically their entire lunar new year. This was traditional for the country, but it was still new to him. Saeran felt like he had missed a huge part of his childhood.

Then again, what hadn’t he missed, aside from some of school?

Yoosung came out, also dressed in hanbok. He looked good.

“I like it,” Saeran said, smiling. Yoosung smiled back.

“I like yours, too.” They headed downstairs to where everyone was gathered in the living room. They were all dressed in traditional clothes, as well. Saeran sat nervously near Yoosung, unsure of how to proceed. He had been detailed on the whole bowing thing, and how Yoosung’s family did it.

They started with honoring their ancestors, those who had passed on. Saeran had never even met his grandparents, so he bowed low, hoping that Yoosung’s ancestors would accept him into the family. If they didn’t, he didn’t know what he would do.

Mrs. Kim brought out the food, along with Yoosung’s sister, Yewon. It was set down on a low table, everyone kneeling around. They started eating. Saeran wasn’t sure if there were foods he could or could not take. Ceremonies tended to confuse him. Things seemed off-limits, sometimes, to him. He just grabbed what Yoosung did.

Saeran felt like the Kims could talk forever. They had been speaking practically non-stop since yesterday, and now they were all at it again. He supposed it made sense. There were a lot more people here, this time.

“Saeran, your hair is more red, this time,” Mr. Kim said. Saeran remembered his name was Jae Eun.

“Yeah, I decided to let the bleach go,” Saeran said.

“Who cut it for you?” Mrs. Kim asked.

“I did!” Yoosung interjected happily. He was so proud of himself, and, truth be told, he did well.

“I’ll fix it for you, after we eat.” Well, Saeran didn’t think it looked bad. He could feel Yoosung deflating next to him. That wasn’t going to happen.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I like it like this.” The deflation stopped, at least.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

One after another, family members talked about their year, and interesting things that happened. The kids boasted over grades or athletic achievements. Yoosung proudly proclaimed Saeran as his soulmate. Saeran said that his life was getting back on track, without details. Other family members talked about their finances and careers.

Saeran was stuffed. He couldn’t eat anymore, and thankfully the meal ended soon after. He breathed a quiet sigh of relief, then watched as all of the older adults bowed deeply and gave gifts to the grandparents of the family. He saw cousins go up to do so, and followed Yoosung, bowing deeply as the others had, and handing them gifts that Yoosung had given him for this specific purpose. Then the children approached one by one.

The grandparents blessed the new year and their family, asking for prosperity in the coming year. Saeran watched from the side as the children were given money

“Saeran,” Granny Kim called, once the children were through.

“Yes?” Saeran asked, not sure what was about to happen. He shook his head slightly, hoping to obscure his eyes a bit, but his hair was too short, now.

“We have a gift for you, too. Yoosung told us that you never got to celebrate Seollal properly, so we got some money together for you.” Saeran accepted the money from Granny Kim, looking at the amount.

It was substantial.

“I-I can...” Saeran started, trying to decline, but one look into the eyes of that old woman was enough to silence him. There was a light there, more powerful than his death glare, that was honed by decades of not taking no for an answer. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. “Thank you, Granny.”

She smiled, and the glare was gone. Saeran went back to Yoosung in a bit of a daze.

“She’s pretty scary, sometimes, huh?”

“Yeah,” Saeran said. He would have to ask her how she got so good at staring people down.

The children brought out a rectangular board, setting it on the floor and pulling out a bunch of sticks and random pieces.

“What’s this?” Saeran asked.

“It’s Yutnori,” Yoosung replied. “Do you want to play?”

“I think I’ll watch the first round.” They scooted closer, watching as the children threw longer sticks to determine how far their pieces would go.

“You have to get all of your pieces around the board,” Yoosung said. The other adults started gathering around to watch the children go. Some of them started assisting a bit in strategy. Saeran listened carefully, trying to figure out how the game worked with those strategies in mind.

The round ended with a team of two beating the others. Saeran didn’t remember their names, but he congratulated them all the same.

“Play with us, next!” they said. So he joined the game, with Yoosung as his partner. He threw the sticks, moving the game piece to its new square. Yoosung was watching the board like a hawk. Saeran knew that look. It was the one that he wore when he was watching the tutorials for new dungeons in LoLoL. Saeran stayed quiet, as Yoosung calculated the best path to victory.

Once he had it, he whispered it in Saeran’s ear. Saeran nodded, doing his best to throw the sticks so that they would land exactly as needed. The game passed quickly, but Saeran and Yoosung didn’t win.

“Aww, you beat us,” Yoosung said. Saeran recognized the tone in his voice, too. That one was from Saeyoung, when he was being a drama queen.

“I can’t believe we lost,” Saeran added on, figuring he may as well roll with it. Whatever Yoosung was doing, there had to be a point to it. And he saw the point soon after, as the winners, both kids, started grinning.

“We totally beat them! We’re better than adults,” they said, smiling happily. The team sizes started to increase as other family members joined in. Saeran found himself squishing close to Yoosung so they wouldn’t end up getting separated.

They were unbeatable with eighteen people on their team. At this point, only Mrs. Kim wasn’t playing. Saeran hadn’t rolled the sticks for awhile, but that was okay. Their team was on one side of the room, while the other team was on the other side, and the board stood practically alone in the middle. They had people going up to get a view of the board, then coming back to report the moves as the rest of them strategized. Yoosung ended up being the leader.

Somehow, they won. Saeran wasn’t really sure what happened, but apparently, they had managed to take some shortcuts along the way, and that had helped a lot. Yoosung cheered as their counter made it back to the start. Saeran cheered quietly with him, until his lips were suddenly being blocked by Yoosung’s again.

“Eww,” some of the kids groaned.

“Aw, come on, romance is a natural part of life,” Yoosung said, holding Saeran close. Saeran kept his eyes on Yoosung, so as to refrain from giving a bunch of kids the death glare. That would be a problem.

“That’s right. Romance is what made you,” said a cousin. That sent the kids screaming from the room. The adults laughed at their reaction. Saeran tried to laugh, but couldn’t. He left the room, looking for the children that had run off.

He found most of them laughing together, anyway. The words and laughter hadn’t hurt them, then. However, there was one missing. Saeran looked around the house, finally finding them in one of the guest rooms.

“Hey,” he said quietly. The child looked at him, curled up in a ball on his bed, obviously trying not to cry.

“Go away,” he said. Saeran sat next to him, curling up automatically. He turned his head to look at the kid.

“What’s your name?”

“Seung Ho.”

“Seung Ho, why are you crying?”

“I’m not crying.”

“You are. Is it because they were laughing?” Saeran asked. Seung Ho didn’t answer, turning his face away.

“Don’t worry. Adults don’t understand what it’s like being a kid. They’ve forgotten how weird the world actually is. It’s okay to not like romantic shit. I didn’t, not so long ago.”

“Then you met cousin Yoosung?”

“No, even then. I didn’t want to do romantic things. I still don’t, sometimes, but he hardly ever calls it romantic. Mostly, it just feels like I’m hanging out with my best friend. I prefer that to the gooey grossness people usually shove down our throats,” Saeran said, smiling a bit. Seung Ho laughed.

“And hey, I’ve heard of people meeting their soulmates in dogs. Maybe that’ll be you, and there’s an inner reason that you don’t like romance.”

“Maybe. I think I’d like that, having a dog soulmate.” They stayed there for a bit longer, until Saeran felt his body starting to cramp up. It didn’t before. Maybe he just wasn’t used to this position, anymore.

“Ready to go back?”

“Yeah, I think I am. And, Saeran?”

“Yes?”

“I’m glad that you’re Yoosung’s soulmate. I think you’re really cool,” Seung Ho said, smiling widely. It was so like Yoosung’s. Saeran paused, then smiled back.

“Thank you,” he said.

Yeah, Saeran figured things would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one messes with Grandma. No. One. not even saeran's hair, which im pretty sure knew what was coming and sent signals to abort mission before this was a problem lololol
> 
> comment if you wish ^^


	16. Color in an Ice Rink

“Hey, how was Seollal with Miyoung’s family?” Saeran asked, once he had gotten home. Saeyoung was sitting on the couch, cuddling with his wife.

“It went better than expected. I taught some of her younger cousins the best way to win Yutnori!”

“The best way, huh? Right.”

“You don’t think I have the best strategy?”

“It won’t be as good as Yoosung’s. He got banned at his own celebration for being fucking awesome.” Saeran set down his backpack as Saeyoung stood up. Yoosung rolled in behind him, carrying several plastic containers stuffed with food.

“Yoosung!” Saeyoung shouted.

“What!?”

“I challenge you to… THE ULTIMATE GAME OF YUTNORI!”

“Challenge accepted! Just let me put this away, first.” Yoosung went to the kitchen, putting the containers in the fridge.

“What’s up with the food?” Miyoung asked him, as Saeran and Saeyoung got the board set up.

“My mom made a ton of food this year, and everyone went home with at least one container. I think someone managed to get out without one. Anyway, she dumped a ton of them on me and Saeran, so I figured I would bring some over for you, so you don’t have to cook for awhile.”

“Oh, thank you!” Miyoung helped him with the last container, putting it onto one of the empty shelves. “We were starting to run out of food again.”

“Heh, I noticed. Anyway, I guess I better get to the living room before Saeyoung starts yelling for me.” They headed into the living room, where Saeran and Saeyoung were having a silent fight. Saeran was pushing Saeyoung off of him, and Saeyoung was reaching for his other hand. Yoosung grabbed whatever it was that Saeran was holding as Miyoung grabbed Saeyoung by the waist.

“A game piece?”

“Yeah. Saeyoung wanted it, so I grabbed it,” Saeran said, smirking. His red hair didn’t quite do his ‘evil look’ justice, but he still looked pretty terrifying. Yoosung sat down next to him, holding the piece.

“Mine, now,” he said, setting it on the starting spot. Saeyoung pouted.

“Fine, but only because you’re so cute, Yoosung.”

“Hey! Only Saeran can call me cute.” Saeran watched the two of them as they started the game, throwing the sticks with a controlled determination, trying to get the sticks to fall specific ways. Their pieces marched around the board, getting sent back as can happen. Yoosung started pulling too far ahead for Saeyoung to catch up.

“Shit,” he muttered.

“You can do it, babe!” Miyoung said.

“There’s no way he can win,” Saeran said. The sticks kept falling, and it looked, after three perfect rolls, that Saeyoung could actually win. He pulled ahead by three spaces, but Yoosung only grinned as he went to roll.

“Sorry about this,” Yoosung said. He threw the sticks, getting three, and, with his landing right on Saeyoung’s head, sent him back to the beginning. There were only a couple spaces left before he would win.

“No~!” Saeyoung cried. He rolled again, futilely, and Yoosung took the win.

“What can I say? I’m not allowed to play, anymore,” he said, grinning arrogantly. Saeyoung groaned, falling back. Saeran gave Yoosung a kiss on the cheek.

“You’re amazing, Yoosung.”

“Thanks.” Saeran finally took his bag into his room, dumping the dirty clothes into the laundry hamper. Yoosung followed him in quietly.

“Can we cuddle before I go home?” Yoosung asked, his voice soft.

“Sure thing. Come here.” Saeran decided then that he really needed a couch or something in his room that they could cuddle on, so that they didn’t have to use his bed. It just felt awkward, like someone could come in at any moment and see them there. He sat against the back of his bed. Yoosung came in next to him, snuggling up against his side.

“This is nice. Saeran?”

“Yeah?” Saeran asked, petting Yoosung’s hair. It was always so soft.

“I’m really glad I got to spend the New Year with you.”

“Me too.”

“Can we go ice skating this weekend? It’s a lot of fun, especially when you’re with friends.” Those violet eyes were looking right into him, calm and reassuring, like they always were.

“Sure. Let’s go. Maybe we can ski, too. I’ll find somewhere that has both. We can ski until it’s night, and warm up with dinner, and skate under the stars, or something.”

“And I thought I was the romantic.”

“You’re the terrifying war leader with the heart of a lover. I was just trying to think of what you would say.” Saeran bit back a giggle as Yoosung buried himself in his side. It tickled. The blond’s movement stopped suddenly, and he looked back up at Saeran slowly, a wicked glint in his eye.

“Saeran, are you ticklish?” Oh no.

“...no…?” Saeran said, trying to keep Yoosung from tickling him. It was too late. Yoosung laid his hand gently on Saeran’s side and scritched. Saeran laughed, trying to get away. Yoosung chased him gleefully.

“I’m gonna get you!” he cooed.

“No, stop!” Saeran said, laughing hard. Yoosung’s fingers were unrelenting as he attacked Saeran’s sides. They scooted their way across the bed and right off the edge. Saeran found himself pinned under Yoosung’s body as their faces ended up a couple inches apart.

They reacted at the same time. Saeran leaned in to kiss Yoosung and distract him. Yoosung tickled Saeran again. This resulted in Saeran bonking his head against Yoosung’s, causing them both to fold in pain.

“Ohh, god. That hurt. Yoosung, are you okay?” Saeran asked. He pulled Yoosung toward him, moving his hand out of the way to kiss the injury.

“I’m fine. What about you?” Yoosung copied Saeran’s move, kissing the injury on his forehead. He sat up, shaking his head lightly. Saeran sat up, as well.

“I’ll be okay. You won’t be,” Saeran said, slowly positioning his arm for an attack of his own.

“What are you talking aBOUT?” Yoosung jumped and yelped as Saeran tickled him back.

“Take me on!” Saeran jumped on top of Yoosung, pinning him down and tickling him mercilessly.

“Gah! Saeran!” Pretty soon, they were trying to get each other at the same time, rolling across the floor. At one point, Saeran ended up over Yoosung again, as they paused to breathe. He looked at the young man beneath him, face flush and breathing hard. He imagined that that was what he looked like after their phone call.

“Saeran...” Yoosung said.

“Yoosung,” Saeran said back. He gulped, trying to control his breathing. If he could control his breathing, then he might be able to keep his racing pulse under control. Why was it racing? Oh. Oh, right. Saeran wasn’t sure if he wanted sex, since that was what was on his mind. He rolled off of Yoosung in a hurry. Yoosung sat up, leaving them in much the same position next to each other that they’d been in a few minutes ago.

Yoosung glanced at Saeran, looked away and glanced again, then started laughing. Saeran found himself laughing, too.

“This was fun. I should probably go home, now,” Yoosung said.

“Yeah.” Saeran went with him to the door. “Do you want me to drive you home?”

“That’d be nice. Thank you.”

“No problem.” They got into Saeran’s car. The drive passed quickly. It seemed that not a lot of people were traveling home, just yet, which Saeran was thankful for. He didn’t like driving with other people around.

Putting the car in park, Saeran looked at Yoosung, who had more containers of food to get inside.

“I don’t know why I didn’t just bring you straight home. I could’ve handled the containers myself,” Saeran said. Yoosung shrugged, smiling.

“I dunno. It seems obvious, in retrospect.” He kissed Saeran good-bye, getting out of the car. Saeran did the same, grabbing a couple containers before Yoosung could reach them. Yoosung looked at him, and smiled. They headed inside with the food, managing to get all the way upstairs without dropping a single one. Yoosung immediately dropped one as soon as he stepped out of the elevator.

“Aw, man. So close, too. Good thing it didn’t bust open.”

“Yeah, really. Here, hand yours to me so you can get the door open.”

“Okay.” Yoosung shifted the containers into Saeran’s grasp, then went to unlock his door. Saeran carefully flipped the dropped container onto its bottom, then kicked it toward the apartment. Yoosung chuckled, and picked it up as it came into range. They got the containers into the fridge. Once the last one was safely inside, Yoosung closed the door, and Saeran immediately pushed him against it, pressing their lips together.

“How are you such a good person, Yoosung?”

“What do you mean?” They kissed again.

“I mean you’re so good to me. You’re always so careful to make sure I’m comfortable. I feel like I can never give you anything that’s worth nearly as much.”

“Saeran, you give me plenty. I didn’t have much in my life except LoLoL, and now that I have you, I can see the world in a whole new way. And I’m not just talking about the colors. It’s kinda weird, huh? How normal they seem, now.”

“Yeah. But…”

“Hey. Look at me, Saeran. I can face each day without disappointment, because I know it’s going to include you. I enjoy working, because you come in to buy coffee, and I look forward to it, and then I’m all fuzzy after you leave. I’m actually attending classes now, and… I think I want to switch my major to psychology. I want to help other people who have problems like you do, and like Rika did. It’s not fair that you have to hide it.”

“Yoosung, I… thank you. Thank you!” Saeran hugged Yoosung, squeezing him tightly.

“I love you, Saeran,” Yoosung said.

“I love you, too,” Saeran replied. Then he froze, thinking on what he just said. On what Yoosung had just said. “Wait. You--”

“Yeah. I love you. I want to be with you, for a long time. For a really, really long time.”

“Yoosung, you’re wonderful. My shooting star.” Saeran kissed Yoosung all over his face, and refused to let go.

 

He had to, eventually. That’s how things go. Time keeps moving. Saeran couldn’t stop thinking about how much Yoosung enjoyed his presence. Every time they saw each other that week, as he bought coffee, and went to classes, and they sat in the library, Saeran remembered what Yoosung said.

He focused on Yoosung being happy with him. He told his anxiety to pipe the fuck down whenever it tried to convince him that this was all a lie. Things were going great. Experience told Saeran that things were going to get worse, soon. Saeran decided that that was going to be a problem later. He wanted to enjoy this happiness, before it was gone. So, he did.

He took Yoosung out to the street vendors to eat food and walk together a couple times. They tried ice cream waffles together, a treat Saeran enjoyed immensely. Yoosung got a look on his face like he was studying it, turning the waffle and observing it closely.

“What are you up to?” Saeran asked.

“I’m figuring out how to make it,” Yoosung said. He bit into it, still with that look on his face.

 

Saeran looked over at Yoosung, who was sitting next to him in the car as they went to an ice rink. He hadn’t found a place to ski, but there was, at least, a place to skate. They could go skiing another time, and drag his siblings along so it wouldn’t be weird.

Or would that be weird? He didn’t know.

He parked the car, and Yoosung jumped out of the car, excited at the prospect of skating.

“Do you like ice skating?” Saeran asked.

“Yeah, I do. I went with my family when I was younger. Spending Seollal with them reminded me how much I loved it as a kid. Come on!” Yoosung dragged Saeran inside, where they rented two pairs of skates, and stepped onto the ice.

Yoosung clung to the side, getting his balance. Saeran fell instantly.

“Whoops. Here, it’s easier if you hold onto something,” Yoosung said, holding out his hand.

“And I’m the romantic?” Saeran asked, taking his hand. He glanced around, wondering how many people were mentally laughing at him.

“Listen, if I can get onto a bus without showering for three days, and no one cares, no one’s going to notice you falling in a place where everyone falls.”

“Seriously? Three days?”

“Three weeks, mister, and I’ve heard worse from one of my classmates.”

“Touchè. What did they do?” Saeran asked, as he managed to get up off the ice.

“They snuck an angry python on a bus and no one even batted an eye at the wriggling bag they were carrying.”

“Wow.” That did help to make Saeran feel better. With Yoosung holding onto the rail, and Saeran holding onto Yoosung, they made it around the rink a few times before trying for not the very edge.

“Ready? Here we go,” Yoosung said, letting go. They joined the stream of people skating by, and managed to keep pace with them. Saeran watched someone jump and spin in midair.

“That was pretty cool,” he said.

“Right? Figure skating looks silly at first, or boring, but when you actually know what it takes to do all the cool stunts, it gets really amazing,” Yoosung said.

“Yeah. I like it.” Saeran looked at Yoosung, and smiled. He was lucky, that was for sure.

They took a break from skating to get some hot chocolate from a vendor nearby, then sat on a heated bench.

“This is pretty cool,” said Saeran. He sipped his hot chocolate.

“No it’s not. It’s hot,” Yoosung said, holding up his own drink. Saeran gave him a withering glare, the effects of which were lessened by his smile.

“You’re just as bad as Saeyoung.”

“Yeah, but you love me.”

“You’re right, I do. And you love me.” It was unbelievable. Yoosung loved him.

“I do. I really do.” Yoosung loved him! Saeran grinned widely. It was so strange to show this much emotion, to have a chance to show it. He liked it. He loved Yoosung.

“I love you. God, I love you so much.” Saeran kissed Yoosung, smiling the whole time.

“This is a new side of you,” Yoosung said. “Are you sick?”

“I… I don’t know. I want to get better for you. A lot better. I still… I still have to deal with shit, but I think I can get through it, with you here. I just want you to know how important you are to me.”

“Excuse me,” said an unfamiliar voice. A young woman was standing before them, long brown hair over her shoulders, and bright brown eyes nervous.

“Hello, miss. How are you?” Yoosung asked.

“I’m fine. Um, I was wondering...” she fidgeted with her hands a bit. Saeran raised an eyebrow. “...would you skate a lap with me?” She was looking right at Yoosung, like he was her target, but it was Saeran who replied.

“We would love to, as soon as we’ve finished our hot chocolate.” She looked shocked and disappointed, but wiped the emotions from her face. Saeran had his suspicions confirmed. She was looking for Yoosung.

And that was so not happening.

“If you want, you can have some with us. The vendor’s right over there. Oh, I could buy a cup for you!” Yoosung said, pulling his wallet out. Saeran facepalmed mentally, and followed his boyfriend and the interloper back to the vendor. He was going to have to explain this one, apparently.

“Thank you, so much!” the girl said. “You’re really cute!”

“Thanks, miss… uh?”

“My name is Hyeiseul.”

“That’s pretty,” Yoosung said, smiling. It was different from the one he showed Saeran. Why was it different? Was it because she was a girl? Did… did he prefer women, after all? Saeran shook his head, trying to dismiss the thought. He wasn’t terribly successful.

“Thank you. What’s your name?”

“Oh, right, how rude of me. I’m Yoosung, and this is my boyfriend, Saeran.” That got her. As soon as Hyeiseul heard the word ‘boyfriend,’ her interest died.

“Oh. I see. You know, I forgot that I have another thing with my friends I have to get to, so I’ll have to go,” she said. Saeran gave her a look that said ‘bite me.’ She glared at him, but quickly let it go as he took her on.

“Aw. Maybe some other time?”

“Maybe. After all, we could be soulmates.”

“I’m afraid I’ve already met my soulmate,” Yoosung said, taking Saeran’s hand. She left. Fast. Saeran squeezed Yoosung hand, taking another sip of his drink. It was good.

“You know she was hitting on you, right?”

“She was!?” Oh my god, Yoosung, Saeran thought.

“Yeah. That’s why she came over to us. She wanted to date you, but as soon as you said you were dating me, she gave up.”

“Wow. I didn’t even notice,” Yoosung said. Saeran kissed his cheek.

“I’ve got you. Though, it makes me wonder. How many people have hit on you before?”

“Huh. I don’t know. Probably a lot, huh? If she was trying to hit on me, then I guess I just never noticed before.” Saeran facepalmed for real that time. Yoosung chuckled. Then he held out his cup.

“To soulmates and love,” he said.

“To soulmates and love. Crazy star.” Saeran tapped his cup against Yoosung’s, and drank heavily from it. Yoosung did the same. Then, with their drinks finished, they went back out on the ice.

It was nice to skate around, and Saeran found himself more wrapped up in Yoosung and holding hands than he was in what other people thought of them. He lost himself in the moment, just enjoying the feeling of the ice under his skates as he slid across the rink, until Yoosung pointed to something.

“Look over there! Isn’t that Zen?” Saeran looked to where Yoosung was pointing, trying to keep himself balanced at the same time. He saw the waving flash of silver hair that was unmistakably Zen.

“Yeah, it is. That must be Jaehee next to him, then. Nice that they’re out together.”

“We should go say hi!”

“What? What about privacy?”

“Maybe just for a little bit?” Yoosung looked to Saeran, as if asking if that were okay. How would Saeran know? He bit his lip, thinking about the proposition. It seemed sound.

“Sure. We can say hi.” They skated a little faster, catching up to the other couple bit by bit. By chance, as the other two turned, Jaehee caught sight of them. She smiled, and waved them over, pulling Zen to the side. Yoosung and Saeran joined them a moment after.

“What is it, princess? Do you want to take a break?”

“Saeran and Yoosung are here.”

“Really? Oh, hey guys!” Zen waved. Yoosung stopped in front of him, looking up. Saeran did the same, as did Jaehee.

“Zen,” Saeran said, deadpan.

“What? You got a problem?”

“You’re too fucking tall.”

“Language!” an angry mother admonished, as she skated by with her daughter.

“Sorry.” Zen laughed as the mother kept going, patting Yoosung on the head, since he was closer.

“Hey!”

“You all need to get taller!”

“Indeed. Zen is the perfect height as he is,” Jaehee said.

“Of course you would say that, Jaehee,” Yoosung said, chuckling.

“How are your classes, Yoosung?” Jaehee asked. She was standing perfectly still on her skates, barely moving a muscle. Zen leaned easily against the railing with no problem, and even Yoosung seemed comfortable. Saeran tried to look like he wasn’t about to fall on his face.

“They’re good. I like them this semester. I think Saeran’s enjoying his, too.”

“Yeah, I am. They were sh-- boring, last semester.”

“That’s great! You’re going as a computer science major, right?” How did Jaehee know so much about him?

“Did you get that from Saeyoung?”

“Yes. He told us as soon as you decided.”

“I see.” Saeran was going to have to kill him later. He knew he wouldn’t actually kill him. Those days were long gone.

“What brings you two out here?” Yoosung asked.

“We figured it was about time to have a date together,” Zen said.

“Same! Winter only lasts so long, right?”

“Right! We should try to go skiing sometime. There’s a good resort I heard of from a friend.”

“If we bring Jumin and V, they can pay for the trip for all of us. We can bring Saeyoung and Miyoung, too!”

“How about next week? As a sort of Valentine’s getaway, or something.” A Valentine’s getaway? Saeran thought he remembered something about the word, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He felt like he had stayed in his room the entire day, the last time Saeyoung mentioned it. He kept his headphones on…?

“That would be so romantic! Let’s do it! All eight of us, out on the slopes, and curled up next to the fire in the evening. What do you think, Saeran?”

“What’s Valentine’s day?”

“Oh! It’s a celebration of love. Couples go out and have fun together. Jumin will probably say it’s all a ploy from capitalism to get people to buy things.”

“Yeah, but V will be onboard, right?”

“Totally! This is gonna be so much fun!” Valentine’s Day was a celebration of love? That explained the memory of headphones. Was… was Yoosung going to expect Saeran to put out because it was so special? Should he? This seemed like a risky idea. Saeran wanted to curl up with Yoosung, and go out and have fun with him, but if Saeyoung and Miyoung were any indication, then Valentine’s Day could be a problem.

“Hey, Saeran, what’s your favorite kind of chocolate?”

“My favorite kind? Um… I haven’t had a whole lot of chocolate, but Hershey’s makes some good stuff.” Was chocolate a thing?

“Okay!”

They went home soon after, leaving Zen and Jaehee to continue skating. Yoosung was buzzing next to Saeran, humming a bit and looking at his phone.

“What are you looking at?” Saeran asked.

“It’s a surprise for you. I think you’ll like it,” Yoosung said. He turned his phone off, and put it in his pocket. Saeran pursed his lips. He tended not to like surprises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ill give you three guesses to figure out what the next chapter is going to be :P


	17. Color in a Valentine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for brief blood and gore

Yoosung stood in his kitchen, mixing cocoa into a bowl and humming happily. Saeran deserved the best that he could give him, and that meant a lot of practice with making chocolate. The now redheaded man had loved the hot chocolate at the ice rink, and said that he liked the stuff from Hershey’s. Yoosung tested the mix, making sure it tasted like proper Hershey’s chocolate. It was pretty close, and he wasn’t sure how to get it to be any closer, so that was that.

He poured the chocolate mix into various molds that he had bought for the occasion. There were hearts, of course, and Yoosung also made generic chocolate dollops, along with an entire chocolate bar. He set the chocolate in the fridge to cool, then pulled his phone out as it buzzed. It was a text from Zen.

>everything’s set for our getaway with everyone

sweet! Im finishing up some homemade   
chocolates right now <

>tasty. Jaehee made some for me, but I can’t  
have any until V day

you poor thing. who’s coming? <

>you, me, Saeran, Jaehee, Saeyoung, and  
Miyoung  
>Jaehee invited Jumin, and I think he  
accepted :/

lololol good luck <

Yoosung smiled as Zen went off about hating Jumin, as he often did. He wondered if Zen knew that Jumin and V were together. Not just together, either. They were soulmates. After texting with Zen a bit more, Yoosung went and sat down on his bed, intending to talk to Saeran for a bit. It would be fun, after all. It always was. He hit speed dial 1.

“Yoosung, hey,” Saeran said, picking up the phone.

“Hey, Saeran. How are you today?”

“Good? Why, did something happen?”

“No, nothing happened. I just finished my surprise for you. You’re going to love it.”

“I will?” Saeran didn’t sound too sure. Yoosung tried to think of ways to assure him that it wasn’t anything bad without giving away what it was.

“Yeah! Don’t worry, I didn’t do anything bad, or anything that might make you uncomfortable. Um, it’s, or they’re, a present for you, and you don’t have to accept if you don’t want to. I know that you like the type of thing they are, so I… yeah.”

“I have no fucking clue what you’re talking about, Yoosung, but alright. I’ll wait and see what this is. Oh, and… I still don’t want to have sex. I hope that doesn’t put a damper on your Valentine’s day,” Saeran said.

“It won’t, don’t worry. I just want to spend the day with you, and have fun.”

“You think you can do both?” Yoosung laughed. 

“Yeah! Whenever we spend time together, I have fun with you. You and fun, you practically go hand-in-hand,” Yoosung said, his voice getting quiet.

“I feel like I should be saying that to you. It’s definitely a lot more fun with you around. I’ll bring an extra pair of headphones for you.”

“Headphones? Why?”

“Because Saeyoung and Miyoung are coming, and whenever they’re together, things get loud. You can keep them, too, if you want.”

“I really shouldn’t. They’re your headphones.”

“Yours are shit. Keep them, it’s an upgrade.” Yoosung bit back a laugh. Saeran was so blunt, sometimes. He forgot, what with how little Saeran talked when they weren’t alone, and how polite he tried to be. Everyone said that he was getting better, and making progress. He said he was acting. Yoosung didn’t really understand, but he believed Saeran. After all, no one knows your experiences better than you.

“Sorry. That came out bad,” Saeran said.

“It came out you. If I had been anyone else, you wouldn’t have said it like that. I actually like that you trust me enough to just be yourself,” Yoosung replied.

“Thanks for the reassurance. Yoosung?” Saeran’s voice got a little quieter.

“Yeah?” Yoosung asked. He leaned into his phone, lowering his voice.

“I’m glad that you’re my soulmate.” He had said it so quietly, like it was a secret, but also like he had shared it with his whole world. Yoosung said as much to him.

“It’s like how you always say that sort of thing. When you get romantic, you tend to soften your voice like that. It’s really nice.”

“Oh, I do?”

“Yeah.” They talked for awhile longer, about nothing and anything. Yoosung talked about a new show he was getting into. Saeran invited him over to watch with him. It sounded really nice. The day was still going, and it wasn’t too late to go to Saeran’s apartment. Yoosung got ready to leave, and told Saeran he was on his way over.

Saeran didn’t like surprises, after all. Yoosung hoped that his little surprise would be warmly received.

 

Saeran sat on the couch in his room that was aimed at a private TV he had bought with his own money. Saeyoung probably knew about it, but never said anything. Saeran didn’t care, either way. As long as his brother didn’t end up barging in on them.

He looked around his room, seeing a few things that were out of place. He straightened them up. Yoosung had been over before, when the room was less put-together than this. Was it Valentine’s day that was making him anxious? It probably was. Then again, his anxiety had also been coming back a bit. It seemed to like to bother him in short spurts, nowadays. Saeran hadn’t encountered it in any major form that he had had to deal with yesterday. He figured that that was probably recovery. It was nice.

Once Saeran had straightened his room, he sat down to think about the surprise that Yoosung had gotten him. Yoosung said that there were multiple things in this present he was giving. He had also said that it was something that Saeran liked. What did Saeran like that Yoosung would give him? He could ask Miyoung. But no, if he did that, she would figure it out, and then either tell him and ruin the surprise, or she would withhold the information like a brat. She and Saeyoung would laugh until Yoosung gave this present to him.

And if he did figure it out? Then Yoosung would be disappointed because it was supposed to be fun, something nice to discover, or whatever. Saeran didn’t want that. In the end, he decided against trying to figure it out, and laid back on the couch, playing on his DS until Yoosung knocked on the front door.

“I’ve got it!” Saeran shouted. He realized soon after that he shouldn’t have. He didn’t tell the other two that Yoosung was coming over. Saeyoung shot out of his room, and the two of them raced to the door. Saeran kicked his brother out of the way at the last second, aiming and hitting a spot that wouldn’t hurt for very long, then opened the door to see Yoosung on the other side. He smiled briefly.

“Hey,” Saeran said, moving out of the way so Yoosung could come inside.

“Hey,” Yoosung said cheerily. He looked over at Saeyoung sprawled across the floor as he entered. “You know it only hurts when you oppose Saeran, right?” Saeyoung twitched in response.

“I hope you know you can oppose me,” Saeran said. “I don’t want you to think you can’t for any reason.”

“I know. Anyway, what are we going to watch?”

“You mean you have no sympathy for me beyond that, little Yoosung?”

“You’re fine. Besides, this is payback for the Passing Out After Drinking Caffeine Syndrome bullshit. Remember that?” Saeran stared at them and blinked.

“What?”

“He tricked me into thinking that I was going to pass out and die because I drank caffeine. I’m glad to see that someone’s able to just take him down like this.”

“Sweet. How many times has he pranked you?” Saeran asked, going over to his brother.

“Too many times to count. Don’t kick him too hard, okay?”

“It’s already stopped hurting. I didn’t kick him hard.”

“I’m wounded in my heart. And for your information, Yoosung, I’ve pranked you exactly two hundred and fifty seven times since we’ve met!”

“So that’s another two hundred and fifty six kicks for you. Good number.” Saeran walked off without kicking his brother at all. He led Yoosung into his bedroom as Saeyoung mumbled something in the living room.

“I’ve got everything set up for us to watch some shows. What was it that you were starting?” Saeran asked. Yoosung clicked through the menus and looked it up.

“This one. I watched the first couple episodes yesterday.”

“Cool.” They started from episode so that Saeran could catch up. The episode centered on a major character who died by the end of it.

“What? What?” Saeran stared at the screen. Yoosung nodded sagely.

“I was too dumbstruck yesterday to stop the next episode from rolling.” The next episode played on, and continued its apparent streak of killing the main character of the episode. Saeran thought he saw one of the characters from the last episode wandering around where that character was.

He was certain that there were recurring characters by the third episode, and pointed them out to Yoosung. Yoosung was surprised, and started watching for them. He practically screeched when he recognized someone from one episode to the next.

“How did you manage to recognize them so quickly?” Yoosung asked.

“I have good skills when it comes to memorizing small details about people, so I can pick them out of a crowd.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Saeyoung has a tendency to drag his feet late at night, and walks pretty heavily otherwise. Miyoung is constantly light on her feet. If I let my guard down, she can sneak up on me.”

“What about me?”

“You walk pretty normally. Your footsteps are nice and calm. You also tend to look around you when we’re out in public.”

“I was probably looking for something,” Yoosung said, blushing.

“You were looking for me when we decided to meet outside the library, one day. That was a more searching look. It was obviously different.”

“Oh, wow.”

“You can stay the night, if you want. Since we’ll be going to the ski resort tomorrow with everyone. I can tell Jumin that you’re here, too, so he doesn’t go to your house,” Saeran said.

“That’d be great! Oh, but I left your gift back home. I’ll need to go and get it.”

“We can go now.”

“It still needs time. How about a few more episodes, first?”

 

They ended up watching to episode ten, then went back to Yoosung’s place so that he could get his special surprise. He had it wrapped in a heart-shaped box, which was quickly stuffed under his bag with some overnight stuff.

“It might be easier if I just leave some stuff at your place. That way I wouldn’t have to carry so much,” Yoosung said, chuckling. Saeran considered it for a moment.

“Yeah, it would be easier. I can give you a drawer in my wardrobe. I only use two.”

“What? Ah, I was joking about that---”

“I’m not. Next time you stay over, bring things you want to leave with me, and I can keep them at home for you. Then you can sleep at my place without having to sleep in your old clothes.”

“Okay. Then, you should leave some stuff at my place, too, so you don’t have to worry.” Yoosung buckled himself in, hiding his reddening face a bit. Saeran kissed his head.

“You’re adorable, Yoosung,” he said. Yoosung blushed harder.

Saeran brought Yoosung’s bag to his room, as Yoosung went to put the box in the fridge. He sat down on the floor and took a quick peek inside at what Yoosung had thought to throw in. Toothbrush, obviously. Clothes for tomorrow, extra clothes for tomorrow, snow gear, a remarkable lack of hairbrush and towels. And, there was one more thing in the front pocket, next to some spare school supplies. A condom.

Yoosung had brought a condom. Saeran prayed to God that it was for general safety, and not any sort of sign of expectation. He put it back gingerly, then made sure everything else was where it should be as Yoosung came back in.

“Did you look through it at all?” Yoosung asked, sitting down on the floor next to him. “It’s all pretty basic, huh?”

“Yeah, it is. You forgot your hairbrush.”

“What?! No, I can’t have… aw, man.”

“You can borrow mine. My hair’s too short to tangle right now, anyway.”

“That’s true.” Yoosung laughed, his smile bright in the darkly painted room. Saeran lifted one corner of his mouth.

“Anyway, do you want to keep watching?”

“Why don’t we watch one of your shows?”

“You don’t like horror things,” Saeran said, moving to the couch.

“That’s true, but… I want to cuddle with you.” Yoosung looked way too cute, standing nervously. Saeran pulled him down onto his lap, holding his shooting star close.

“How’s this?”

“This works,” Yoosung said. Saeran turned on one of his favorite shows. He didn’t bother picking out the first episode. They weren’t connected, anyway. There was a lot of blood in this one. It wasn’t his favored type of horror, it just didn’t get his blood pumping. But the psychological stuff he watched when he was with Mint Eye was too much for him now.

He had had to back out of episodes before, since they were too scary for him.

Saeran could feel Yoosung shiver a bit in his arms. He held him closer.

“It’s okay, Yoosung.”

“I know, but it’s still scary.” That sounded like what he had said to his therapist, as he had opened up more. It was still scary, to sort through everything he remembered he had done.

“Well, what makes it scary?”

“I… I don’t know. The blood, and their bodies getting torn up like that, I guess.”

“Well, it’s not realistic anyway.” Saeran proceeded to tear the episode apart verbally, noting everything that made it unrealistic. Yoosung started laughing a bit, and Saeran found himself adjusting to make his sarcastic explanations funnier. By the end, Yoosung had stopped shivering from fear.

“That was good. When you’re here to talk about it, I can see how it’s not scary.”

“Yeah. I found one episode that was really on point. We won’t watch that one. I tried to find things that were wrong, and I think I found two or so altogether.”

“In an hour-long episode?”

“Yep. Anyway, it’s getting late, isn’t it? We should get to bed. The sooner we do, the sooner we can get to the resort, right?”

“Right!” The two of them changed into pajamas, and then climbed into bed. Saeran smiled into Yoosung’s hair as he spooned him. It felt right, being here.

 

The slopes did not feel right.

Jumin had come to pick them up at the desired time, which, for some ungodly reason, was seven in the morning. Saeran would have blamed Saeyoung, except he also looked tired as hell and unhappy to be up so early. Miyoung was bouncing around fine.

Saeran blamed her, instead.

The four of them joined an alert-looking Jaehee and peppy Zen as they all drove to the ski resort that was a way outside the city. Even V seemed excited, even though he couldn’t see.

“It’ll be nice to be outside on such a day,” he said. Jumin smiled, and regaled them all with the knowledge that Valentine’s day was a capitalist farce. Yoosung fought back, saying it was a romantic day. Zen took his side, of course, not just because he agreed, but also because it wasn’t Jumin’s. Saeyoung fell asleep again. Miyoung got him to slap himself with a whipped cream hand. Saeran himself simply sat by the window and watched the clouds change shape overhead. He hadn’t been able to do so lately, because of the cold weather.

At some point, they had gotten to the resort in one piece, though Zen certainly wished a certain heir hadn’t been so lucky. After checking in --- and somehow having reservations for four rooms, which V explained as his idea --- they were able to rent some gear. Yoosung chose a pair of skis, and Saeran grabbed a snowboard.

Saeran had never snowboarded in his life, and it kind of showed. Saeyoung had also never snowboarded in his life, but did worse, partially because Saeran wasn’t going to be outdone by him.

Not only did the slopes not feel right, but they also hurt when Saeran fell down. He got the hang of it after awhile, though, and finally started to enjoy himself as he went down the hills. Yoosung skied along next to him, looking much more together. He had been skiing since he was a kid. This was one of the places that his parents had taken him and his sister as children.

Saeran switched to a pair of skis so that he and Yoosung could go down a cross-country trail together, and, once he got the hang of gliding across the snow, they were off. Skiing was definitely easier than snowboarding, and safer.

The two of them ended up surrounded by woods on all sides, with only the trail markers keeping them on course. The ground was completely white from snow. Tall pine trees stood all around them, their branches laden with snow. Saeran could see just a bit of dark green from their needles.

“I wonder what kind of pines these are,” Yoosung said, as they skied past. Saeran shrugged.

“I’m not sure. I don’t do plants.”

“Neither do I. Maybe we can ask back at the resort, when we return.”

“Yeah.” Saeran found his white-blinded focus drawn to Yoosung’s clothing. He was dressed in a light blue winter coat with a bright green scarf. A red hat sat on his head, and his ears were covered in matching muffs. Even his mittens were red. His snowpants and boots were black. Saeran looked at himself, seeing his white coat and black snowpants, as well as his black gloves.

He didn’t have a lot of color in his outfit. Not like Yoosung did, anyway. It seemed like such a waste, but color was so loud. It was definitely more suitable for Yoosung to wear pretty and bright colors.

Saeran slowly shifted his position next to Yoosung to slide up behind him. Poling along directly behind, Saeran came right between Yoosung’s skis as he paused briefly to look around, and gave him a hug.

“You look really in color,” Saeran whispered.

“Thanks. What brought this up?”

“I just realized it. With you up against all this white snow, it makes the color stand out a bit more.”

“I see. You’d look good in color, too. Here,” Yoosung said, pulling his earmuffs off. He shuffled carefully on his skis, and took Saeran’s earmuffs too, putting his own on Saeran’s head. “How about this?” He put Saeran’s on.

“They’re warm,” Saeran noted.

“Yeah. Yours, too.” Yoosung grinned, then kept skiing. Saeran followed him all the way back to the resort. It had taken them some time to get all the way around the trail, and the sun was setting by the time they returned. Saeran watched it sink. There was something… something else to do. He looked up the hill, trying to judge time.

“Hey, Yoosung. We probably have time for one more run before night hits. You want to go again?”

“Sure. I’d love to.” They went up to the top of the hill, once they got properly geared. Saeran looked down the slope that led to the lodge, balancing carefully on his snowboard. It was something in there, wasn’t it? He would probably remember once they got inside. For now, he had a hill to ski down.

“Ready?” Yoosung asked.

“Definitely.” They pushed down, going faster and faster. Yoosung was giving Saeran a run for his money, by the middle, and had nearly passed him at the end. Saeran still managed to win, though. Trying desperately to be better than his brother all day had paid off. They took their snow gear off as they went inside, leaving the skis and board at the rental place. Yoosung found the way to their room.

“The fire’s lit for you,” said one of the staff, as they passed by. Yoosung smiled and thanked them. That was what Saeran had been trying to remember. Snuggling up by the fire, all cozy together. It was what Yoosung had been talking about when they went skating last week.

“Could you bring a couple mugs of hot chocolate up?” Saeran asked.

“Of course, sir.” The staff member disappeared down the hall, and the couple entered the room.

“Wow, it’s nice and big,” Yoosung said, looking around. There was a king-sized bed covered in deep red blankets. A quilted blanket sat at the foot of the bed. Saeran helped Yoosung with his coat, hanging both of them up by the door. They got out of their boots and snowpants, leaving the rest of their outdoor stuff in a pile. Yoosung went and sat down by the fire as Saeran grabbed the quilted blanket. He threw it over Yoosung.

“Heh, hey!” Yoosung said, laughing. Saeran sat next to him, and found part of the blanket wrapped around his shoulder. It was warm, and the fire was warm, too. Yoosung was warm against his side. It was a nice feeling, Saeran decided. All this warmth around him felt different from normal, as well. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, though. Wrapping an arm around Yoosung’s shoulder, Saeran felt like this moment was one of those perfect ones, like you never want it to end.

A knock came to the door, and the staff member from before announced their hot chocolate. Yoosung got up and brought it in. He handed a mug to Saeran.

“This is the best Valentine’s day ever,” Yoosung said. He sipped his hot chocolate. Saeran did the same, smiling.

“Yeah, it is. It’s the first one I really remember,” Saeran said.

“Then, I’m glad that we got to spend it together. It’s kind of mine, too. I mean, sometimes I got chocolates from girls at school, who were really nice to me, but I’ve never spent it with anyone.”

“What’s up with the chocolates, anyway?”

“Oh, did you see?”

“See what?” Saeran looked at Yoosung, who was looking back at him, a slightly worried expression on his face. Then the worry melted away, replaced by a smile.

“I’ll show you after dinner.”

 

After a dinner, during which Zen was surprisingly cordial to Jumin, Yoosung and Saeran reentered their room. Yoosung grabbed something from his bags, muttering something about the heat and melting.

Chocolate melts, right? Saeran stopped that thought. This was a surprise. As much as he hated these things, he wanted to humor Yoosung to the very end. His boyfriend soon returned with a heart-shaped box.

“Open it,” he said. Saeran did so, pulling the lid off to reveal a number of chocolates inside. There were hearts, of course, and cute little drops, as well as what looked like a bar of chocolate. Saeran picked a drop out, tasting it carefully. He had noticed, as he became more familiar with chocolate, that some tasted better than others.

These ones were delicious.

“Have you tasted these?” Saeran asked Yoosung. He figured that the blond had gone for a trusted brand.

“No, I haven’t. I mean, I tasted them before they cooled, but...” Yoosung’s eyes slid to the side, and he shrugged. Saeran offered him a bit of the chocolate.

“Here,” he said.

“They’re for you, Saeran. I want you to have them all. I-I made them for you, after all.” He made them. Yoosung made him chocolate. Yoosung made him really good tasting homemade chocolates.

“They’re delicious,” Saeran said.

“Really?” Yoosung asked. Saeran took the opportunity to shove one into his mouth. “They are.” Saeran got a clever idea, seeing part of the chocolate hanging out of Yoosung’s mouth.

“Yeah. But, of course, you said they’re for me, so,” Saeran said, leaning in. He locked eyes with Yoosung as he got close, and pressed their lips together lightly, snapping the chocolate off as it entered his own mouth. He pulled back triumphantly --- for a moment.

Yoosung lunged at him, pushing his tongue into Saeran’s mouth. The chocolate melted in their mouths as they shared it and their saliva. Yoosung’s tongue danced around Saeran’s mouth, spreading chocolate everywhere, and cleaning it right off again. Saeran could taste the sweetness that enveloped his mouth as Yoosung’s tongue came in contact with his own, dancing with it.

“You can have the rest,” Yoosung whispered, as he pulled back. Saeran swallowed the now thoroughly melted chocolate, grinning like an idiot.

 

They wore headphones to bed, that night, resting easy in a calm playlist Saeran had on his phone. As Yoosung found out that night, Saeyoung had a tendency to scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's not midnight it's not midnight it's not midnight this is totally on time lololol.
> 
> massive storm hit, i didn't get out of bed until after 11 AM. i think it's still snowing now. anyway, comment if you wish :D:D:D


	18. Color in a Mistake

Yoosung pulled on a tablecloth he had laid over the small table in his apartment. Everything was spotless, for the first time in months. He set his feet carefully on the floor, trying his hardest not to make it messy again. A candelabra was set on the table, once the cloth was finally even, and Yoosung set the candles in their places. Then, he lit them.

Technically, he wasn’t allowed to have candles lit inside, but he figured that a few hours with the windows cracked open a bit would help with the smoke issue. And with the two of them there, they could put out a fire before it spread too far.

Yoosung set the plates and silverware, adjusting them again and again until every single piece was in the right place. By the time that was finished, his timer was going off in the kitchen to tell him to take care of his food.

Saeran had mentioned that he liked having stew in the winter, so that was what Yoosung was going to make for him. He had a pot simmering on the stove with chunks of beef in it, cooking a Japanese recipe he had found online for beef stew, called niku jaga. He just hoped it tasted good enough. He wanted this night to be perfect.

It was, after all, an attempt at their three-month anniversary.

Yoosung tasted the stew before deciding it was done. It was almost time for Saeran to come over. He poured two bowls, setting them to the side of the plates on the table, and filled the plates themselves with a good portion of greens that his mother told him tasted really good with beef dishes.

“Alright, that should be good. A delicious dinner, our favorite movies, some popcorn to go with them, the apartment is clean. Everything is perfect.” The doorbell rang at that moment. Yoosung yelped. He opened the door as quickly as possible, grinning when he saw Saeran on the other side.

“I’m here,” Saeran said, smiling. He had a bouquet of roses in his hands.

“Yeah. Come on in.” Yoosung let Saeran into the apartment, taking the bouquet as he passed, and putting it in a vase that he had bought after the last bouquet. Saeran looked around, impressed. Wherever he looked, things were in a place that made it look like they belonged there.

“You cleaned up nice,” he said.

“Thank you. Oh, you meant the apartment. Yeah, I wanted to impress you.” Yoosung ran a hand through his hair nervously. It had been four months, and even so, he still felt giddy when Saeran was in his apartment. “A-anyway, I made dinner. You said that you like stew, right?”

“Right. It tastes pretty good. Did you make some?”

“I did. I hope it’s fine. My mom recommended a Japanese recipe, so I found one to follow. I hope you like it.”

“If you made it, Yoosung, I’m sure it’ll be good.” Yoosung blushed at Saeran’s words.

“Thank you. Please, have a seat.” Yoosung pulled Saeran’s chair out for him, then sat down across from him. The conversation was light, as it should be for a dinner.

“This is delicious. It’s better than how Miyoung makes it.”

“Really? I thought for sure she would have made it better. I’m glad you like it.” Once dinner was over, Yoosung pulled some ice cream out of his fridge. It was mint chocolate chip, of course, Saeran’s favorite kind. Giving Saeran a bowl, Yoosung led him to the bed, where they always sat to watch movies. They sat for awhile and talked more. Yoosung felt like he could listen to Saeran’s voice forever.

“I don’t know if I really want a degree in psychology, either. Maybe I should just stick with what I’m going for,” Yoosung said, leaning back. Saeran watched him as he did so, scooting over so he could pull Yoosung into him. They cuddled against the back of the bed, Saeran supporting Yoosung’s head on his chest.

“You’re already going for a degree in veterinary medicine, and you’re pretty far into it. Um...” Saeran trailed off. Yoosung looked up at him.

“What is it?”

“I think… I think if you try harder, you can be really happy. Besides, you’re not good with human blood, and you’re really sensitive. I think being a vet suits you really well.”

“Thank you. What about you? Do you want to be a computer programmer?”

“I don’t know. I want to see what else the world has to offer, but I need a degree. I...”

“I know.” Yoosung sometimes thought about Saeran’s lost childhood, and everything that he had missed. He started wondering what exactly it had been that he had missed.

“Hmm. What should I do…?” Yoosung muttered.

“About what?”

“I want to give you the childhood you should have had. Or at least, some sort of facsimile? So, birthday parties, and playing in the park. Nice home cooked meals made by a loving mother. You should have had it all. I want that for you.”

“You really want that for me? Yoosung, thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet! Oh, and we have movies to watch. We can watch your favorite first.”

“You picked out our favorites?”

“Yep. I want this date to be perfect.” Yoosung popped the movie into his DVD player, then went and made popcorn. Saeran settled back, a small smile on his lips. Yoosung was too adorable for his own good. It was surprising to Saeran that he hadn’t had more datemates, but he was also a nerd in high school and a slacker in college, so it made sense that his social life was crap.

Yoosung returned with a bowl of popcorn, freshly popped, just as the ads in the beginning ended. He set the bowl between them, snuggling into Saeran’s side as he laid back on the bed again. Saeran looped an arm over his shoulders as the movie started. They enjoyed each other’s movies, and Yoosung was comfortable with this one. There was a lot of blood in some scenes, but Saeran’s shirt was right there, and Saeran was right there, so it was okay.

It was two hours long, with them watching and Saeran quietly pointing out inaccuracies. The movie was done, and Yoosung’s went in after, with a fresh bowl of popcorn, since the first one had been emptied by Yoosung’s nervous eating. Saeran watched as a young woman appeared on screen, and then later, a young man. Yoosung shifted next to him, excited for the romance that was about to happen.

Saeran rubbed his hand up and down Yoosung’s arm. Yoosung pressed closer to him, then sat bolt upright.

“There’s a movie where they relive their childhoods together! We could get ideas for what to do from that, and go from there! I’ll ask our other friends about what they did as kids, too.”

“You’re really hooked on this idea, huh?”

“Of course! Childhood is the most important part, developmentally, and even if you couldn’t have a good childhood, we can still do fun things to kind of… give you a second one?”

“Alright, sure. Why don’t we start with finding me a new mom?”

“You can have mine, if you want. You’re already a part of the family.”

“Right.” Saeran wasn’t convinced. It just seemed like a bad idea, to him. How great could a childhood be, anyway?

“Aw, come on, Saeran. We can do it! It’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely certain. You do a lot for me. I want to do something for you.”

“Yoosung, you do more for me than you realize. You made dinner, got these movies going. You made two bowls of popcorn, and that’s just today. You really don’t need to do this.”

“I know I don’t, but you deserve to be happy--”

“Stop! Just… stop.” Saeran clutched his head. The voices he had managed to tamp down started rising again, whispering to him that Yoosung was lying. He could almost hear his mother, in the back, telling him to be quiet, to be a good boy. His ankle felt strange.

“Saeran…?” Yoosung whispered. Saeran whimpered, curling up on himself. Yoosung wanted to get closer to him, to hold him and tell him that it was all going to be okay. He figured that it was worth a shot. Saeran trusted him, right? Yoosung wrapped his arms gently around Saeran, pressing himself firmly against the redhead’s side. He combed his fingers through Saeran’s hair, trying to be as soothing as possible.

“Hey, shhh. Shhh. It’s okay, Saeran. You’re okay. I’m here, I’m here, don’t worry.”

“You… lying...” Saeran murmured. Yoosung didn’t know how to react to that. He just kept holding Saeran close.

“No, I’m not lying. I’m here for you, Saeran. You know I am.”

“Th-the voices. They’re--” That was something. Between medication and Saeran’s own self, he hadn’t had much of a problem with the voices recently, as they tried to convince him of horrible things. Yoosung pressed a kiss to Saeran’s temple.

“I love you, Saeran. I really do. I want to be with you, forever. We’re soulmates.”

“We’re soulmates. We stick by each other.”

“That’s right. No matter how difficult things get for you, or how much it hurts, I’m right here for you, okay?”

“O… okay. Okay.” Saeran tried to breathe, but it was difficult. Yoosung pulled him flush against his chest, breathing deeply. Saeran matched his pattern. As his breathing got easier, the voices found themselves being pushed back and got angry. They screamed in his head, demanding Saeran listen.

Saeran screamed, too. He sobbed openly.

“Make it stop, make it stop, make the voices stop,” he begged. Yoosung tried to think of something he could do, but all he could remember was the therapist telling him that sometimes, it helped to think of certain mental illnesses as separate. So, he made a plan based on that.

“Hey, you voices,” he said as confidently as he could, “leave Saeran alone. You’re not helping him.”

“Yoosung,” Saeran said.

“I’m sorry. Did that make it worse?” Yoosung asked. He got pinned against the back of the bed. Saeran glared at him angrily, his green eyes flashing dangerously. His hand was against Yoosung’s collarbone. Yoosung could feel fingers against the base of his throat, threatening to choke him.

“You want to hurt me? You won’t get the chance!” Saeran shoved Yoosung into the backboard again, straddling him with a sadistic grin on his face.

“Saeran, I don’t want to hurt you, and I know you don’t want to hurt me,” Yoosung said.

“Shut up! You don’t know anything!”

“I know you.” Yoosung reached for his phone, intending to text Saeyoung. “I know that you like mint chocolate chip ice cream. I know that it’s your favorite, because your brother used to sneak you out of the house sometimes, and that was the flavor you liked most. I know that he left you behind --- ah! --- because he felt like he had to, and that hurt you! He didn’t mean to hurt you so much. You know that, Saeran! And you had to deal with being drugged and brainwashed.”

hurry over<

Yoosung looked at Saeran, who was looking very angry.

“Don’t remind me! You stupid, idiotic --- argh!” Saeran pulled his hand back, forming a fist. He nearly struck Yoosung, then thought better of it. “I remember. You want to be a vet.”

“Y-yeah,” Yoosung said. He wasn’t sure where this was going. 

“Why should you get to follow your dreams?” Saeran demanded, shaking Yoosung. Then he got off of him, going to the kitchen. Yoosung wasn’t sure what to do. He hoped that Saeyoung had seen his text. With Saeran in the kitchen, and more than likely able to stop Yoosung if he tried to escape, there was no choice but to stay where he was.

When Saeran returned, he was carrying a knife in his hand.

“What a good boy, Yoosung, staying put,” he crooned. “Now, sit still.” Saeran straddled Yoosung again, gripping his chin roughly.

“Saeran, what are you doing?”

“You shouldn’t be allowed to follow your dreams. You’re too much of a wimp.”

“Is that really what you think?” Yoosung asked, trying to remain calm. Saeran growled, slashing the knife in front of Yoosung’s face. It didn’t quite work. Yoosung managed to keep himself together.

“You’re not scared? That’s okay. You will be.” A dark look came into Saeran’s eyes, as his hand moved from Yoosung’s chin to his hair, pulling it hard.

Yoosung watched him raise the knife. He watched the door open as Saeyoung came charging in. The next thing he knew, there was pain in his eye, and Saeran was losing a battle against Saeyoung on the floor. Or was it the other way around? He couldn’t tell, there was pain in his eye, and it was making things hard to see. His vision swam, then little bugs flew in, and he blacked out.

 

“Saeran! Come to your senses!” Saeyoung shouted.

“I have!”

“You hurt Yoosung!”

“… What?” The voices stopped for just a moment, no more screaming, no more demands. Saeran turned to see Yoosung, trying to figure out what had happened, and saw Yoosung passed out on the bed, blood running from his eye.

“Come on, let’s get to the car, okay? I’ll get Yoosung.” Saeran stood by the door as reality came crashing down on him. Saeyoung walked past him, Yoosung hanging off one shoulder, and took his hand. They headed downstairs, then got in the car. Saeyoung strapped Yoosung into the back. Saeran sat in the front seat, next to Saeyoung. They drove to the hospital. Saeran tried to figure out what he could do, but he felt helpless.

If he were Jaehee, he would know exactly what to do. She always did. Or Zen. He would come up with a plan to help Yoosung. Jumin would probably do something useful, too. He would pull strings to get Yoosung all the help he needed as soon as possible.

Saeran couldn’t do that. But he could call Jumin. He slipped his phone out of its pocket, trying to concentrate enough to pull this off.

“Who are you calling?” Saeyoung asked. That was all it took. One slip-up, and Saeran had hurt Yoosung and lost the trust of his brother. He had seriously fucked up this time.

“I’m calling Jumin. He can do something, right?” Saeran asked acidly.

“That’s a good idea. Thank you, Saeran.” Saeran pressed dial, and held the phone to his ear.

“Hello, this is Jumin Han.”

“Jumin, it’s Saeran. I… I need you to call the hospital, and get Yoosung as much help as you can,” Saeran said.

“Yoosung? What happened?”

“I… I hurt him. Bad. His eye...”

“I understand. I’ll call the hospital. Update me tomorrow on his condition,” Jumin said. Then he hung up. Saeran tried to control his breathing. He tried to remember how Yoosung’s chest had felt, as it rose and fell under his head. He couldn’t do it, started hyperventilating, and then he was being pulled along. Saeyoung was talking at the front desk, frantic. Yoosung was still out of it, slumped on the ground next to him. He was bleeding.

He was bleeding. He was bleeding. He was bleeding. Saeran felt vomit rise in his throat. He fell to his knees and wretched. The taste of beef and cabbage coated his mouth as it hit the floor and covered his hands. He thought that someone said his name.

Somehow, he ended up in a white room, laying back on a bed. It wasn’t as comfortable as Yoosung’s. He liked Yoosung’s bed more.

“How are you feeling, Saeran?”

“What happened?”

“You threw up in the lobby after your brother brought that young man in. We brought you in to treat you,” said a doctor.

“Is Yoosung okay?” Saeran asked, worried. The doctor chuckled.

“He’s stable. We’ve taken him into surgery, so he won’t lose his eyesight. He got here very quickly. Do you know what happened to cause this?”

“I…” I hurt him. “It was my fault. I sliced his eye open with a knife.”

“You did this?”

“Yeah. I lost control. I shouldn’t be around him anymore,” Saeran muttered. He turned his face away.

“He asked about you, just before he went under for the surgery. He wanted to know if you were alright. Are you?”

“No, I’m not. I’m never going to be alright!” Saeran gripped the back of his neck, biting back tears.

“I’ll get your brother for you,” the doctor said, leaving the room. Saeran watched him leave. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to see Saeyoung, at this point. But the person who entered his room wasn’t Saeyoung at all. It was Miyoung.

Okay, so it was kind of Saeyoung, but a better version of him.

“Hey. I heard what happened. Have you been giving your illness any attention lately?”

“It was getting better. I didn’t think I would need to. I’m such an idiot.”

“No, you just weren’t prepared that time to handle an attack. It’s going to be fine. Yoosung’s getting treated right now.”

“He wouldn’t need treatment at all if I hadn’t hurt him in the first place.” Miyoung didn’t say anything to that, just sat down next to Saeran and hugged him. It was different from how Yoosung felt when he was hugging, but it still felt nice. Saeran tried to relax into her touch.

“He’s going to be fine,” Miyoung said.

“He’s gonna be fine,” Saeran repeated. He moved to get off the bed, as if drawn to something. They left the room, and Miyoung got him checked out. Then they entered the lobby where Saeyoung was muting a panic attack. Saeran pulled him close.

That day was turning into a major hug fest. Saeran figured he wouldn’t need physical contact for a week or so.

They waited for hours in the lobby, until the doctor in charge of Yoosung came back with good news. The surgery had gone well, and Yoosung was in a room to recover. He couldn’t have visitors until the next day, however. The three of them headed home.

 

Saeran was sitting next to Yoosung the next day as he slept. He had a book in hand, and was reading it as peacefully as he could, considering his heart was hammering in his chest.

“W-where am I?” Yoosung muttered as he got up. Immediately, he winced, and fell back against his pillows.

“You’re in the hospital,” Saeran said. He was really starting to regret Saeyoung’s idea for him to be alone with Yoosung. This was torture.

“I am? Why?” Yoosung looked at him with an innocent eye. His right eye was completely covered in bandages. Saeran didn’t say anything. What could he say? Yoosung would hate him if he told him what he did, but he would hate him if he said nothing.

“You lost an eye,” Saeran finally said.

“I did? Oh. Yeah, I remember. Are you doing okay?”

“Don’t worry about me. You’re the one who had to get surgery!” Saeran couldn’t believe that Yoosung was being such an idiot. How could he worry about Saeran now?

“I lost an eye, but I can get my sight back. You’re stuck with those voices forever. That’s not your fault. This isn’t your fault, either. You weren’t yourself.”

“I still hurt you.”

“Yeah, you did. I forgive you, Saeran.”

“You’re only saying that because we’re soulmates.”

“I’m saying it because you’re the love of my life. Saeran, remember what we said, when we were talking about Rika? We said that we would always be together, no matter what, and I really meant that.” Saeran couldn’t help it. Hearing those words from Yoosung, the constant reassurances over the past months, it was too much. Saeran cried.

“Yoosung, you mean so much to me.”

“Saeran,” Yoosung said, pulling Saeran in for a hug.

“I love you. I love you so much, Yoosung.”

“I love you, too.” Yoosung leaned in at the same time that Saeran did, and they kissed.

At that point, Saeran wasn’t really sure that there was anything he could do to make Yoosung stop wanting to be with him.

 

“Oh, man!”

“What?”

“I can’t play LoLoL with my eye like this,” Yoosung whined the next day. He pouted adorably, earning a kiss on the cheek from Saeran.

“I’ve told the guild that you’re in the hospital. Should I tell them that you can’t play anymore?”

“I still want to be involved with them, but maybe it’s about time that I gave up LoLoL.”

“You? Give up LoLoL? That’s a surprise.”

“I know, right? I’ve been attached to that game for ages. But, if I’m going to get my degree, I need to concentrate more, and I can’t stare at screens for long periods of time with just one eye. That means that I have to...” Yoosung sniffed, “give up LoLoL.”

“You’ll survive. You’ve got me, after all,” Saeran said. As soon as the words left his mouth, he wasn’t sure if he meant himself to be a comfort, or proof of Yoosung’s ability to hang on to life.

“Yeah, I do. I’ll be okay, with you by my side.” Saeran smiled, and pulled out a chessboard. He set it up on Yoosung’s bed, and they played several rounds, until Yoosung started feeling tired. At that point, Saeran left him alone to rest for the day.

When he left the hospital, Saeran didn’t feel like going home, so he headed to Jaehee’s shop to get some coffee. Maybe it would take his mind off of things.

Inside the shop, things were fairly busy. Saeran ordered a coffee, talking with Jaehee for a moment before leaving for a table. He stayed there for awhile, pulling his laptop out of his bag and working on the next installment of the star game for Yoosung. Then he realized that Yoosung wouldn’t be able to play it so well.

He spent some time, then, trying to figure out the calendar. It was February, and that meant that he had two, maybe three weeks before Yoosung’s birthday. Hopefully, that would be enough time for Yoosung to recover so that he could play.

“How’s Yoosung? I assume you came back from the hospital?” Jaehee asked.

“Yeah, I did. He’s doing fine. He needs to rest for some time. He… he forgave me yesterday. Knowing him, it was sincere.”

“Yes, I believe it was. Yoosung really does care for you. He’s told me on multiple occasions about various things he wants to do for you, to show you how much you mean to him.”

“Really? He… he said he wanted to do things that kids do, so I could experience a good childhood. I don’t think it can happen.”

“He’ll make it happen, if you want it to.”

“I don’t think I do. I don’t want to think about the past, anymore.”

“You should tell him, Saeran.”

“Yeah. I will tomorrow, when he’s awake.”

“Hey, Saeran. How’s Yoosung?” Zen asked, as he appeared.

“He’s fine. What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at practice?”

“Yeah, but I figured that I should come in and check on Jaehee. She’s worried, after all,” Zen said, before leaning down to whisper to Jaehee. “Don’t stress too much, okay? We can go see Yoosung after the shop closes.”

“Right. We will. Get some rest, Saeran. Yoosung’s not going to be happy if you get sick.”

“Okay. I’ll see you two later, then. Bye.”

“See you!”

“Good-bye, Saeran.”

Saeran left the shop, packing his things in his bag, and headed home. He went into his room to concentrate on coding. There were just a few final touches to take care of, and he could get to bug fixing in an hour.

He just hoped that Yoosung would be able to enjoy it properly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA dying
> 
> comment if you wish :D:D:D


	19. Color in a Painting

Saeran woke up to the sound of his alarm screeching in his ear, as it always did. For a moment, things seemed completely normal, until he remembered what day it was. Today, the lawyer that Saeyoung had hired was going to come by to get some more information from him about the broken wrist. Again.

He sighed, rousing himself and going to the bathroom to get ready for the day. This was going to take a fair part of it, outside of his normal classes, and that meant that he was going to miss seeing Yoosung at their usual time. Saeran wanted to make up for it, but he didn’t really know how. Yoosung always had a plan to do something fun, or at least, he always came up with one pretty quickly.

Entering the living room, Saeran saw Saeyoung sitting nervously on the couch, bouncing a leg. Their eyes met, and Saeyoung drew in a shuddering breath. Saeran sat down next to him, hoping his presence would be enough to help his brother calm his nerves. He was nervous, too. They had both spent time avoiding the law for different reasons, and now here it was, coming into their sanctuary.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Saeyoung said, trying to convince himself as much as Saeran.

“It’ll all turn out fine,” Saeran said back. He stretched his hands over his head casually. The doorbell rang, causing Saeyoung to jump.

“He’s here,” Saeyoung whispered.

“That’s my line.” Saeran got up and opened the door, admitting the lawyer into their home. “And he’s been here before. What’s your problem?”

“Well, it seems that you’ve been connected to another injury. That’s the problem,” the lawyer said.

“What? Oh.” Yoosung’s eye. Saeran sat down, holding his head in his hands. “That was...” How could he explain it? Could he plead insanity? He wasn’t sure.

“We’ve reviewed the security footage of the entire event, and questioned the teller girl. She said you defended her, and the footage revealed you defending yourself. But the new case may come up in court. Did you defend yourself when you attacked the other man?”

“I… I don’t know. I was trying to stop the voices, and then I lost control.” Saeran tried not to cry. Yoosung had forgiven him, sure, but he couldn’t forgive himself for inflicting that sort of pain.

“Voices?” Shit.

“Yeah. They come up sometimes, usually not strongly, but that time, they were strong enough to drown me out.” Saeran didn’t know how else to describe it. They overpowered him.

“Did the voices tell you to break the man’s wrist at the bank?”

“No. That was purely self defense.”

“Alright. Well, it seems that Yoosung Kim isn’t willing to press charges against you for his injury. We should be able to use that to keep that point off the table.”

“Thank you.”

“Just doing my job,” the lawyer said, smiling. “I think we have enough for the case, but I’d like to ask your brother some questions, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. I’ll talk to you when I get home from class.” Saeran left the house, going to school like he always did. He was glad that the session this morning was brief. He didn’t want to miss class, even if it was a boring one that he already knew the information from.

Jaehee’s coffee shop seemed… different. That was probably because Yoosung wasn’t there that day. Saeran sighed. He just had to fuck things up, didn’t he?

“Bad day?” Jaehee asked, getting his order ready.

“Yeah. I had to talk to a lawyer earlier about something that happened in January.”

“Oh, my. What happened?”

“I’m not sure what I can say. I broke a man’s wrist, and he’s taking me to court over it.”

“I see. I went to see Yoosung this morning, before work. He’s doing fine.”

“Thank you. Have a good day.”

“You, too, Saeran. And don’t worry. I’m sure he’ll be okay,” Jaehee said. Saeran nodded and left. He wasn’t so sure about that. Yoosung still wanted to be with him, still loved him, even though Saeran felt like he had lost the right to such affection.

Class went by at a steady rate, and once it was over, Saeran ran home. Maybe, if he was able to answer the lawyer’s questions satisfactorily and quickly, he would have time before his next class to visit Yoosung. It would be a tight squeeze.

“I’m home!” he shouted, bursting through the door. He was on the couch with his backpack off in two seconds.

“Do you have somewhere to go?”

“I have class in a couple hours, and I want to visit my boyfriend.”

“I see. Who is your boyfriend?”

“...Yoosung Kim.” The guy he had hurt after the broken wrist. Saeran tried to breathe steadily, but it was hard. He felt tears prick at his eyes. It should have been his own eye that got slashed. Yoosung didn’t deserve this.

“Ah. I have more questions, if you can answer them?”

“Sure thing.” The lawyer asked him about the man, what he thought of him, if they’d ever met previously, what he was doing at the bank in the first place, what he did after. Saeran felt like he had given a pretty good description of how involved Yoosung was in his life. It was for Yoosung that he was at the bank, to take him on a date, it was because of Yoosung that he had the job at the coffee shop, and it was Yoosung who convinced him to live life more, and drift through it less. Saeran owed him a lot.

The questions ended after an hour and a half, which left Saeran with enough time to get to class. He thanked the lawyer for coming over, then headed out the door.

His second class of the day whizzed past. Saeran remembered that Yoosung liked to hear about it, so he took better notes than usual. Maybe it would cheer him up, since he was missing his own classes. After that, he ran home again, jumping in his car to go to the hospital.

 

“Really? That’s so interesting! I want to take that class, sometime,” Yoosung said, smiling brightly. Saeran could feel his mood lifting, but he still felt bad for hurting Yoosung so. He could see the damaged eye, completely glazed over and milky.

“I know you’ve forgiven me, but...”

“Saeran. You hurt me. I may never see out of this eye again, but that’s okay. I have you. Even if I end up losing an arm and a leg, I’ll be okay as long as you stay with me. Oh, and I was asked about you earlier, by a strange man who said he was a lawyer. He said that you had broken his client’s wrist, and heard that you were why I was hospitalized. He wanted me to confess to getting hurt by you, but I refused. You’re already in trouble, I don’t want it to get worse because of me.” There was such kindness in Yoosung’s eyes, both of them, it overwhelmed Saeran.

“Stupid. You stupid, adorable…” Saeran broke down crying, taking Yoosung’s hand and pressing it against his forehead. “How can you love me so much?”

“Because to love you any less feels like hating myself. I think… I think this is what it means to be soulmates.” Saeran looked up at Yoosung, as tears fell from his violet eyes. He cupped Yoosung’s cheeks, kissing the tears away before his lips fell to Yoosung’s mouth.

“I love you, Yoosung. More than anything else.” Saeran planted a kiss over Yoosung’s damaged eye, then hugged him tightly. Yoosung hugged him back.

“I love you, too, Saeran.”

“What if I hurt you again? What if…”

“It’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.”

“They want me to kill you, sometimes. I was going to, that night.” He felt Yoosung’s chest constrict as he stopped breathing. Yoosung’s arms fell from Saeran as he processed the information.

“I don’t want to die,” Yoosung said. Saeran moved away, not even making it off the bed before Yoosung grabbed his arm. “But I don’t want to lose you, either. I’ll risk death, if it means you’ll be safe, Saeran.”

“Yoosung.” Yoosung was staring intently at him --- no, he was staring into him. Saeran couldn’t move.

“I’m not just going to let you hurt yourself. You’re too important to me.” There was a dangerous light in his eyes. Saeran had seen it before, but he wasn’t sure what it was, exactly.

He had to relent. Yoosung wasn’t going to let him go. At all. Saeran was stuck.

Because of that, they played games until Yoosung got tired after dinner. Saeran kissed him good night, and then left for home.

 

Miyoung had dinner spread out on the table. She and Saeyoung were already eating when Saeran pulled up a chair.

“I thought you’d have eaten dinner at the hospital,” Miyoung said.

“Hospital food? No.”

“Can’t disagree with that.” It was fried chicken, that night. Saeran guessed that they had ordered in. He grabbed a chicken piece from the plate, gripping it with his fingertips so he didn’t get grease everywhere.

“How’s Yoosung?”

“He’s good. They took the bandages off his eye.”

“Cool! What does it look like? Is it all white?” Saeyoung asked.

“Saeyoung, you can’t just ask if it’s white,” Miyoung chided. Saeran felt like her words were halfhearted, somehow.

“No, it’s still got a violet hue, but it’s pastel, and all one color, instead of a bunch of shades together.” He hadn’t drawn in some time, but he felt like there was something he could do with that eye. A picture was forming in his head. Saeran wanted to get it down on paper. He ate some more chicken, pulling the picture together, bit by bit. When he finally had it, he excused himself and went to his room.

Saeran pulled out some paper, deciding that a traditional sketch would work, until he could get it colored on the computer later. He went through the process of building a generic head, tweaking it to look more like Yoosung. He tried to imagine how the face on paper would feel in his hand, filling in the lines and shading to match it as accurately as possible.

Next were the eyes. He drew the right one as it was supposed to be, itching already to add the color. It would be a pretty cool effect to only color the eyes. He drew the other one, leaving the iris completely blank. He’d need it to stay that way for a bit.

After inking the lines, Saeran scanned it into his computer, hooking up a drawing tablet he’d gotten a year or so ago, after Miyoung had discovered he liked art. He selected several shades of purple, using a layer on his drawing program to build his palette.

Saeran colored in Yoosung’s right eye, the living one, using a myriad of shades so it looked like the glittering stone he saw, when the sunset hit them just right. He colored and shaded the rest of the face as well as he could, then started work on the left eye in its own layer.

Clouds drifted across the bottom of the iris, light purples at the bottom, darker purples at the tops, and a dark blue for the night sky, littered with stars. A shooting star slashed across the entire eye, in the shape of the scar he had left.

It looked good. Saeran left it for the morning, and worked on his homework. If it still looked good tomorrow, then he would print it off and give it to Yoosung. Or maybe he should save it for his birthday? That was coming up, after all.

His phone rang loudly. Saeran fell out of his chair, standing up and answering the call without bothering to see who was on the line.

“Hello?” he asked, looking at his homework assignment. He could do it later.

“Hello, this is Jumin Han. Is this Saeran Choi?”

“Yes, this is he.” Saeyoung would have joked about this being Jumin Han, or something. He could see why their mutual friends liked talking to him more, when he was willing to talk.

“I tried to ask Yoosung how expensive his surgery was, but he wouldn’t tell me, or he didn’t have the information. Do you happen to know?”

“It most likely would have gone to his parents. Isn’t that how it works? The insurance company pays it off, and the rest goes to the independent on the bill?”

“Right. I should have remembered that.”

“It’s okay. To be honest… I’m struggling with it. Yoosung said he’s okay, but still.”

“Would you like to come over to pet Elizabeth?”

“Sure. That sounds good.”

“I’ll send Driver Kim to pick you up.”

“Okay.” Saeran said goodbye, then went and waited in the living room. Petting Elizabeth would reduce his stress. Maybe it would do the same for Yoosung? To have something to pet. He’d have to ask Jumin later if he could take Elizabeth with him to the hospital tomorrow.

Driver Kim arrived twenty minutes later, and Saeran climbed in. They drove in silence, until Driver Kim finally spoke.

“You seem troubled, Mr. Choi.”

“Saeran.”

“Saeran. What’s the matter?” The others didn’t really know what happened, unless Saeyoung told them. Saeran felt his throat close on the words, blocking them off.

“I hurt someone close to me. Badly.”

“Ahh. I suppose this is the first time?”

“Not exactly, but it’s the worst I’ve done, and with the person I’m closest to.” Being vague helped his throat stay open.

“How do you feel about what happened?” Driver Kim asked. Saeran was going to say he was fine, but he didn’t want to lie about how he felt, not anymore.

“I feel terrible. Like I just brought the end of the world on myself. I’m such an idiot.”

“It feels that way now, but the pain fades, eventually.”

“When?”

“It takes awhile, and it’s different for every person. You just have to hope that yours doesn’t last too long. Forgiving yourself can help, of course.”

“How am I supposed to do that?”

“I don’t know. You’ll have to figure it out for yourself.” Saeran stared out the window, trying not to roll his eyes. Everyone always said that forgiveness was key. He didn’t think it was. Forgiveness was a way out of being guilty for something, but the feeling was still there.

He couldn’t forgive himself, not for this.

“Thank you for the advice,” Saeran said.

“Any time.” He exited the van, going to Jumin’s penthouse. He wondered if V was going to be there. Since Saeran was feeling so much like trying to share his feelings with whoever would listen, he figured that he may as well tell V about it, to try and make sense of it.

The elevator rose. It was the first time Saeran was here alone, and there were a few other people in the elevator with him. They left, one floor after another, as it rose higher and higher, until it was him and another girl. She looked at Saeran, who spared her a glance, twirling her hair, playing with her skirt.

As the elevator stopped once more before Saeran’s floor, she approached him.

“Would you like some tea? You look like you could use some rest.”

“No thanks,” Saeran said, politely as he could.

“Oh come, now. This sort of invitation doesn’t come along all the time, you know.”

“Neither do soulmates, and I’d rather mine didn’t have to worry about me.”

“It’s just tea, darling.”

“Please leave me alone.” She finally did, leaving in a huff, and the elevator doors closed. Saeran thought about how Yoosung would react if he found out that Saeran had accepted the invitation to tea that was clearly going to be more. An image of that dangerous light in Yoosung’s eye flashed into his head. Saeran felt like he understood. Yoosung was protective, and cheerful, and totally trusting, but he seemed to have a twisted side, all the same.

The elevator opened to Jumin’s penthouse, and Saeran went inside. He searched around, calling for Elizabeth. He was here to pet cats and get over problems, and he needed a cat. He finally found her batting a ball around in Jumin’s room. Approaching carefully, Saeran put his hand out for Elizabeth to smell and check. She approved him quickly.

Saeran didn’t bother moving as he pet her, giving her chin scritches and running his hands through her soft fur. Her tail floofed out as she purred and climbed into his lap. Saeran grinned, patting his chest to see if she would stretch up. She did, putting her paws on his shoulders and rubbing her face against his.

“Saeran? Is that you?”

“Yeah. She’s giving me a hug.” It felt really nice.

“I’m glad she likes you. Elizabeth can be a bit of a finicky cat.” Saeran grunted in agreement, scratching Elizabeth’s neck. V sat down, putting a hand out carefully to find her. Saeran led it to her body, and he started petting her, as well.

“I hear Yoosung’s okay.”

“He is.”

“That’s good. It’s been hard on you, huh?”

“Considering I’m the one who stabbed him, yeah.”

“Oh? That’s a shame. Is Yoosung okay with you?”

“He’s forgiven me.”

“And have you forgiven yourself?”

“No.”

“Neither have I. Even now, I… never mind,” V said. He withdrew his hand from Elizabeth, who protested and curled up in Saeran’s lap.

“You what?” Saeran was curious, even though he had a feeling that he knew what, or who, V was talking about.

“I still miss Rika. I feel like it’s my fault she turned out the way she did, even though I know it’s not. I couldn’t have done anything to stop her, or make her better. She was the way she was, but even so.”

“I’m messed up, and it hurt Yoosung.”

“’It’ did?”

“Uh. Yeah. My therapist told me recently that if I picture my mental illnesses as separate from myself, then it’s easier to combat them. I don’t know if it really works, but at least I can see them differently. They’re a bit less terrifying, now.”

“That’s good. I’m guessing you lost control and attacked him?”

“Yeah. I took his eye out. I don’t remember why, I think I was feeling like… things were unfair?”

“You should ask him what happened. It may help you, you know.”

“Right. Can I take Elizabeth with me to see Yoosung tomorrow?”

“Sure. I’ll go with you, and wait in the waiting room. You can take Elizabeth in with you, if the hospital will allow her. If not, then I can take her back home.”

“Okay.”

 

The next day, Saeran looked at the painting he had done the night before, trying to decide if he liked it. He decided that there was still some work to do with the colors, and decided to leave it until after his visit to see Yoosung. He told Miyoung that he was going out, only for Saeyoung to want to tag along.

For Elizabeth’s sake, Saeran staunchly refused.

He got into his car, driving over to Jumin’s penthouse. V had called him earlier, telling him that Jumin had approved Elizabeth’s travel, as long as they used his van. That meant switching cars. V was waiting in the lobby, a curious cat shuffling slightly next to him. Driver Kim was waiting outside, so they hurried on.

Saeran and V exited Jumin’s van once it reached the hospital, V carrying Elizabeth in his arms while holding onto her leash. They had called the hospital earlier to see if it would be okay to bring a family pet in to cheer up a patient, and found out that it was. V waited in the waiting room, like he said he would, and Saeran took Elizabeth into Yoosung’s room with him.

“Hey, Yoosung. How are you today?”

“I’m well, how are you?” Yoosung asked.

“I’m fine. I brought Elizabeth 3rd.” Saeran set Elizabeth on Yoosung’s lap. She was already familiar with him, and meowed. Her tail floofed up again, causing Yoosung to gasp.

“It looks like a peacock!” Yoosung pet her excitedly. “How did you manage to convince Jumin to let her out of the penthouse?”

“I had to bring V, too. He’s out in the waiting room.”

“Oh.”

“You still don’t like him.”

“Not really. But… he’s not so bad, right? I mean, he’s a nice person.”

“Right. He’s a good person, I think. Like you.”

“Like me...” Yoosung smiled, playing with Elizabeth. “It takes one to know one.”

“Yeah, it does.” Saeran felt like Yoosung was getting better, too. His hatred of V was less consuming of him, for sure.

“That means you’re a good person too, since you can tell that V is nice.”

“You can tell, too, huh?”

“Yep.” They smiled, petting Elizabeth. Yoosung hummed in thought. Saeran quirked an eyebrow, wondering what he was thinking. He knew that Yoosung would tell him soon enough.

“I want to see V. Can you bring him in?”

“Yeah. I’ll go get him now.” Saeran left the room, finding V in the waiting room. He was sitting there patiently, if not bored.

“Yoosung wants to talk to you,” Saeran said. V looked up at him and smiled, standing carefully. He tapped at the ground with his cane, moving forward carefully. Saeran led him down the halls until they reached Yoosung’s room. V knocked on the frame, then entered. He found the chair next to Yoosung’s bed, and sat down.

“Yoosung, long time no see.”

“Yeah. It’s good to see you, V. How have you been?”

“I’ve been well. You?”

“I’m good.”

“Saeran told me that you’ve forgiven him for hurting you.”

“Yes, I have.”

“Have you done so for yourself?”

“Myself?” Yoosung seemed surprised. Saeran blinked.

“Yes,” V said. Yoosung looked down at Elizabeth. He sighed.

“I… I wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough to help him,” Yoosung whispered. Saeran stared in shock, unmoving as Yoosung burst into tears. “I couldn’t do anything! I tried, but I didn’t know what to do. Saeran, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. There was nothing you could’ve done, anyway,” Saeran said, hoping that that would help calm Yoosung down. It had the exact opposite effect.

“I know, but still. I want to be there for you, always, but how can I be if I can’t get you through things when you need me?” Elizabeth turned to Saeran, and meowed, then jumped into V’s lap, staring pointedly at Yoosung. Saeran understood her. He went to Yoosung’s side and hugged him, like he had the day before.

“We’ll work through it together. I can make it, as long as you’re with me. That’s what a soulmate is, right? We stay by each other, no matter what.”

“Yeah.” Yoosung hugged Saeran tightly. V smiled from where he was, petting Elizabeth.

“So, what happened that night? I don’t remember a whole lot.”

“You were struggling against the voices, so I tried to ground you, and then you flipped, or maybe you got flipped? Um, then you pinned me against the back of the bed, then got a knife and slashed my eye. I texted Saeyoung before that and he came to help.”

“That’s why he was there. Yoosung, you did good. Thank you.”

“No problem. I think…” Yoosung sighed. “I don’t know if I can forgive myself for not being everything you need, or maybe I’m just angry that I’m not a cure-all for you.”

“Then we can be angry at ourselves together.” Neither of them noticed, as they cuddled together, that V had slipped out of the room with Elizabeth.

“Rika,” he whispered to himself, “we both knew that I was never going to be enough for you.” He decided, as thoughts of Rika tried to enter his mind, to call Jumin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> V is gonna be okay. Yoosung and Saeran are going to be okay! everything will work out... right?
> 
> comment if you wish! :D:D:D


	20. Color in an Eye

“They’re letting me out of the hospital today,” Yoosung said. “I get to go home in time for dinner.”

“Really? Then why don’t I take you out? I have the money for it,” Saeran replied.

“Thank you!” It was March, merely a week from Yoosung’s birthday. Saeran was sad that he would have to miss it for his court date, but he had no choice. He had to deal with the bank problem. If he hadn’t been so violent then…

If he hadn’t been so violent a lot of times, he wouldn’t have as many problems.

“No problem. You’re my boyfriend, I want you to feel happy. How’s your eye?” It was officially out of bandages, allowed to be in the open air.

“It’s doing great! I can kind of see out of it,” Yoosung said, closing his good eye to demonstrate. “You’re a blur, but I can see the red in your hair.”

“That’s good. I was worried I’d done too much damage.”

“The doctors said it would be a lot worse if Saeyoung hadn’t gotten me here so quickly.”

“Thank God for Saeyoung, huh? Saving our asses when we need him.”

“Right? We should invite him to the wedding.” They both laughed, then Saeran stood up.

“You should get some rest. We’ve got a big night ahead of us.” He kissed Yoosung on the forehead. “Sleep well.”

“Sleep well. I’ll see you soon.”

“Idiot. I’m not the one sleeping, but I’ll come pick you up at six, alright?”

“Hehe, oops. Alright.” Yoosung settled down onto his bed, curling up on his side and closing his eyes. Saeran petted his hair, then left the room. He had some planning to do before tonight, like where they were going to go out to eat, and if he should get some flowers or something. Before, he had just bought some random bouquet of flowers near the door, not really paying attention to them, but now, Saeran kind of wanted to see if he could pull something together himself.

He would need help.

There was a florist near the hospital, a good location considering how many people bought flowers for the patients they knew. Saeran stopped in, keeping himself from just grabbing whichever bouquet he happened to see, and really looked at the flowers.

They were in dozens of colors, pinks, reds, purples. There were a couple blue ones, and yellow ones. Arrangements used the shapes and colors of the flowers to bring each individual one out without losing the integrity of the whole picture. It was all so artfully done, Saeran briefly wondered if he could come in sometime and use them for still life drawings.

“Hello, and welcome. How may I help you?” asked the clerk. She was wearing glasses, and had her hair up in a ponytail. It was a good look for her.

“Uh, right. I need a bouquet. Do you have anything that’s softly colored? I don’t want anything too bright.” It might hurt Yoosung if it was.

“I sure do! Are you bringing this to the hospital?”

“Yeah. My boyfriend’s getting discharged today, and I’m taking him out to dinner.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet! Peonies for healing, probably pansies, since you think of him so fondly. Most of them are bright, but I think I have some softer pastel blooms---”

“What?”

“Certain flowers have special meaning. Peonies are usually for healing. I always keep a bunch on hand. Pansies are for loving thoughts. Is there anything else you want to say?”

“That I love him.”

“In a soft color… red chrysanthemum.”

“That should be good for today. Thank you for helping me,” Saeran said.

“Any time.”

“Say, are you hiring?”

“I will be in April, as business picks up.” Saeran nodded, purchasing the bouquet. He also ended up filling out an application to work at the flower shop. It would present an excellent opportunity to draw the flowers, and he would be surrounded by beautiful colors.

“Have you found your soulmate?”

“I have. Of course, I picked up his red-green colorblindness, but that’s what the glasses are for. They correct color problems.”

“Cool. He’s red-green colorblind?”

“Was. My pet dog, best friend I ever had, and apparently my soulmate. It was really fun being able to spend every day with him.”

“So it is possible to have a pet soulmate.”

“Yep! One day, I hope to find him again. Soulmates come back together, you know. Maybe this time, he’ll be a different breed.”

“I hope you get to be with him. Have a good day,” Saeran said.

“You too.”

A dog for a soulmate? Yoosung would probably flip out, since he was going for his vet degree. Or maybe psychology. Saeran was about as sure as Yoosung was about his degree. Maybe he should have gotten a flower for making decisions.

The bouquet sat next to Saeran as he drove home, and rested in a vase of water until it was time to go and pick Yoosung up. One week after today to his birthday. The picture that Saeran had thought of was finished, unless he looked at it and decided it wasn’t, and the new installment of his Star Adventure game was complete, as well. He had nothing to work on for homework, since his nervousness about Yoosung and wanting to spend as much time with him as possible had somehow pulled together to get him to work on things.

“How’s Yoosung doing?” Miyoung asked, standing at the door. Saeran looked over at her.

“He’s doing fine. The doctor said he can leave the hospital around dinner, so I’m taking him out.”

“That sounds lovely. I’d bring Saeyoung, but I have a feeling you’d rather be alone with him on your first outing in awhile.”

“Yeah. Thanks for the offer, though.” Saeyoung poked his head around the corner, giving a little thumbs up, then pointed at the flowers and grinned. Saeran pointed to the flowers and then looked pointedly at Miyoung. She looked at Saeyoung with an unamused look, causing him to yelp.

“And what would my lovely meme queen like for flowers?”

“Something to brighten up the kitchen.” The two of them left, but that meant that Saeran still had nothing to do to pass the time. He could play video games, but Saeyoung would join, and then he would get distracted pwning his ass.

The flowers were still stuck in his mind, so Saeran figured he could try and emulate them. He grabbed his tablet, picking out a color palette, then worked on one of the arrangements he had seen. It was a lot of green, and some pink flowers around the edges, then there was purple, and red at the center. After awhile, he had a fair imitation on his canvas. He saved the work, figuring that it would never be seen again. That was alright. He still enjoyed painting it.

He got two more done, after that. Then it was 5:30, and Saeran had to go. He grabbed the bouquet of meaningful flowers and headed to the hospital. 

When he arrived, Saeran found Yoosung waiting for him in the lobby.

“Did you have to wait long?” Saeran asked.

“No, they let me out about ten minutes ago. Oh, are those for me?” Yoosung asked. Saeran handed him the bouquet, pointing to each of the flowers.

“Yeah, they are. The peonies are for healing, and the pansies are for loving thoughts. The red chrysanthemum is to say I love you.”

“Saeran, this is amazing. Thank you.”

“I wanted something more special than just some random flowers. The girl at the shop was really helpful with this.”

“I love it.” Yoosung smelled the flowers, closing his eyes to breathe them in. Saeran smiled, a light blush on his face.

“Are you gonna kiss?” asked a little girl across the room. What was it with kids existing everywhere?

“Not here,” Saeran said. Yoosung chuckled, then Saeran took his hand and they walked out to his car. Yoosung swayed a bit as they walked, prompting Saeran to loop an arm around his waist.

“You need more support,” he said when Yoosung looked questioningly at him.

“Ah. Thank you. I’m still a little off, I guess.”

“Well, you are missing your depth perception.” Saeran opened the door, standing by in case Yoosung needed his help. He didn’t, and got himself buckled in. Saeran sat in the driver’s seat, starting the car. He pulled out, then went off to a restaurant he had found online some time ago.

Entering the parking lot was a cinch. It was getting out of the car that proved to be hard, as Yoosung almost hit the car next to them. Twice. The first time, he couldn’t see well past the bouquet, and after a solid minute of coaxing it out of his hands, Saeran got him between the cars, where Yoosung almost fell over.

“I’m glad you’re here for me. Hey, Saeran, I just realized. You said you wanted to do more for me. Well, here we are.” Yoosung grinned, like it was supposed to be a good thing.

“You wouldn’t need me to walk around if I hadn’t hurt you in the first place.”

“Yeah, but still. It’s… making up for a mistake, right? You have to do something to make an apology sincere.”

“Let’s just get inside.” Saeran shook his head as they went into the restaurant. They were seated quickly, and handed menus. Yoosung tried to read his, but he was having some trouble.

“I want something with noodles,” he said, trying to find the noodles section. Saeran found them himself, and started reading off the choices. Yoosung picked one out, and when it was time to order, he said it himself.

“You don’t need my help to speak?” Saeran joked, smiling lightly.

“I can’t rely on you for everything.”

“That’s fair.” They talked quietly, but Saeran couldn’t help feeling like he was being watched maliciously. He looked around, trying to see who it was that was giving him the eye. He found the punk, and glared at a middle aged man who looked vaguely familiar. The man’s arm was in a cast.

Oh.

The man came over to their table, visibly seething. Saeran felt himself pulling in, but he could see Yoosung doing the same. He needed to take care of this problem --- without violence.

“You’re the one who broke my arm! Do you realize what this means for me?”

“You have a broken arm and are impeded from doing certain things. That’s nice.”

“That’s right! I should be compensated for the work I’ve missed. I’m gonna get my dues next week, just you wait!”

“I’m sure you will,” Saeran said calmly. The man got angrier.

“You filthy trash! You shouldn’t be allowed out in the streets!”

“Now that’s going too far,” Yoosung interjected. He stood from his seat, approaching the man.

“Yeah? And how so? How much do you know about this brat? He broke my arm!”

“Yes, he did. And I’m sure you’ll get what you deserve. But you’re making a scene in a public place, and disturbing the other customers. Please sit down, sir.” Saeran could see Yoosung shaking where he stood. He knew it was because he was scared, rather than his eye.

“What’s wrong with your eye?”

“What’s wrong with your arm?” Maybe Yoosung had been listening to Saeran talk too much. He was getting snarky. Saeran had to admit, he kind of liked it.

“I bet he did that to you, didn’t he? This boy is a monster!”

“Yeah, maybe he did, but he’s no monster. He just has to deal with them.”

“Like what?”

“Like you,” Saeran said. Yoosung nodded.

“Please go back to your meal, sir,” Yoosung said through gritted teeth. Maybe he wasn’t shaking in fear… Saeran doubted he would get violent, though.

“You can’t make me do anything.”

“What a child,” Yoosung said, sighing. He called the waiter over. “This man won’t let us enjoy our meal in peace.” That got the man’s attention. Saeran stifled a laugh. Now that he was being shot down by an authority figure, as the waiter got the manager, the man had a lot less gusto.

He got thrown out of the restaurant. Saeran couldn’t help but notice that no one was following him out. He hadn’t been eating with anyone. A forever alone, Saeran supposed, and considering his attitude, it made sense.

“What was his problem, anyway? Just because someone hurts you, it doesn’t give you the right to get up in arms over it.”

“It does, but our problem is supposed to be settled next week. He was just looking for a fight. I think it’s a habit of his,” Saeran said. Yoosung considered his words, nodding.

“Alright, yeah. Crazy guy.”

“Yeah.”

“Not crazy like you, because your kind isn’t really your choice. His totally is,” Yoosung said as their food arrived with a profuse apology.

“Thank you, sir. And thanks for noting the difference.” Saeran had thought he meant it in a biting tone. If it had been anyone else, except maybe Miyoung, it probably would have been. But Yoosung was different to him, noticeably different. Saeran felt the sincerity of his words, and knew that Yoosung saw a part of him that most people couldn’t.

“It’s no problem.” They ate dinner at that point. Yoosung didn’t have any troubles eating, as long as he focused on Saeran and not the food. Saeran kept him entertained.

“Oh, I made the next part of the Star Adventure game for your birthday, but you might not be able to play it so well. I also painted a picture of you.” Saeran felt a blush rise to his cheeks. He tried to breathe normally, but it was so awkward. He had never painted Yoosung before, or drawn him, either.

“Really? When can I see it?”

“I just need to print it out. Then you can hang it up somewhere… or something.” Something like never let it see the light of day.

“I can’t wait. And the doctor said that I should have no trouble looking at screens in a couple of weeks, so I can play then.” They smiled at each other. Saeran couldn’t help but stare at the milkiness that covered Yoosung’s eye. It was an interesting shade, but it shouldn’t have been there.

They finished their dinner, and Saeran took Yoosung back to his apartment. They toddled into the elevator, then to the front door. Yoosung unlocked it from practice, and went inside. Saeran followed.

“I’m really glad that we could go out tonight. Promise that we’ll be able to see each other at least a little bit next week?”

“Yeah. You’ll probably have to come to the court house, though.”

“That’s alright. It’s a Sunday, so there’s no school. I can make it fine. Maybe I should sit in the courtroom, as quiet moral support.”

“That… would be really nice. Thank you.” They sat on Yoosung’s bed, curling up together. Saeran held Yoosung close, breathing in his scent. He felt Yoosung lean into him, as their bodies melded together. Neither of them spoke, content to simply stay where they were. The longer this could go on, Saeran thought, the more he felt like he could actually handle his case. He kissed Yoosung’s head, feeling Yoosung respond by trying to get even closer to him. Saeran laid down, and Yoosung snuggled into his side.

“I love you, Saeran. I really do.”

“I love you, too, Yoosung.”

 

Somehow, they had fallen asleep. No, Saeran knew how it had happened. He had been feeling stressed, and couldn’t sleep well. Now that Yoosung was home safe, he could. Yoosung was still recovering from surgery, so it made sense that he would still be tired.

It was about midnight, at that point. Yoosung was still asleep next to him. Saeran didn’t want to move. He wasn’t tired at all, but he couldn’t just leave Yoosung. He figured he could grab the controller for Yoosung’s TV. Turning it on almost proved disastrous as the loud volume blasted into the room. Saeran turned it down as quickly as possible, suddenly and somehow understanding some post he’d seen about American kids dealing with the THX logo as it appeared. He shook his head.

The TV didn’t have much worth watching, and he doubted that Yoosung had any sort of streaming account, considering the fact that they always pirated or just watched things he owned. He ended up finding a channel about animals. Out of curiosity, he tried a couple of the hotkeys on the remote, and found that channel on the second one. The first was the cartoon channel. After that, there were only a couple more that Saeran could find easily.

He opened the menu, planning on doing just a little bit of snooping while Yoosung was out. It was titillating to be looking around so late at night, with Yoosung so close, and possibly close to waking up. Saeran found the shortcuts, seeing the ones he had already explored, and another one that was just marked ‘delete this.’

He pressed it.

It was a porn channel.

He pressed 2. There was no need to go back. Saeran kept watching as the animals did their thing. It was better, he thought, wondering what channel that had been, exactly.

“What are you watching?” Yoosung asked groggily.

“The animal channel,” Saeran said, as casually as possible.

“Just the animal channel?” Yoosung was suspicious. Saeran figured it would be better if he came clean, so he did.

“I went through your shortcuts, to see what you had. Cartoons, animals, a cooking channel, and one of those infomercial ones?”

“Yeah… sometimes I like to watch it and think of what sort of things I would use the stuff they’re selling for. The domestic products are nice.”

“And what about the ‘delete this’ shortcut?” Saeran was breaching into dangerous territory. How was that channel even legal? Yoosung froze next to him.

“How much of it did you see?” he whispered.

“Enough to know it’s porn, no more than that.”

“Thank god. It’s… embarrassing.”

“More than just its existing?”

“Yeah...” Now Saeran was intrigued. He remembered what he had to press to get to that channel. Turning the volume down lower, he put it in, ready to flip away if Yoosung really wanted him to. At the very least, he could find out what channel it was on.

Saeran memorized the number instantly as the channel changed.

“What --- no!” Yoosung grabbed at the remote, but Saeran was too quick for him. He switched it back to the animal channel in a flash, the channel number seared into his mind. He hoped that he would be able to find it again.

“You have a basic package, right?”

“Yeah?” Yoosung sat up suddenly. “You’re going to look for it when you get home, aren’t you?”

“Yep.” Saeran got out of the bed, deciding, since Yoosung had let go of him, to go home. “I should go sleep in my own bed, and make sure that that picture I’m giving you is really up to snuff.”

“No way! If you go home, you’ll find out about that channel, and… You’re not leaving this apartment.” Yoosung tackled Saeran, dragging him onto the bed and refusing to let go. Saeran struggled out of his arms, but Yoosung latched right back on.

“Yoosung, I have to go home at some point.”

“Then I’m going with you. That way I can keep an eye on you and you can’t find that channel!”

“Is it really that embarrassing?” Saeran muttered. “You can’t stop me in my own home. I’m allowed to watch what I want to. Come on.” He helped Yoosung put his shoes on. If the star-obsessed blond wanted to stay over for the night, then he could. He had stuff at Saeran’s place for just such an occasion. Yoosung grabbed his schoolbag for the morning.

The two of them got into Saeran’s car, and headed back to his house. Inside, Saeyoung was surprisingly asleep. Miyoung was walking back to their room, and waved when she saw the two of them come in.

“Morning,” she said.

“It’s night,” Yoosung said.

“It’s past midnight, so it’s morning.”

“Right. Good night,” Saeran said.

“Night.” They all headed into their rooms, and Saeran turned on his own TV, flipping it to the channel he had seen earlier. Yoosung screeched quietly and ran to the TV, trying to turn it off.

“I will tell you why I have that saved if you’ll turn it off.”

“I know why you have it saved.”

“I like pet play.”

“… what?” Saeran looked at the screen as one of the people crawled into the frame, wearing a collar. Oh. Oh wow. He kept watching as the other person came onscreen and started ordering the collared person around. It was interesting, for sure, very interesting, and the more Saeran watched, the more he decided that he liked the idea of being the one in charge. But how did it get on the TV?

“I like having a collar around my neck and being told what to do.”

“Is that so? You liked being told what to do when I called you, right? This is more of the same thing, except I would treat you like a dog.”

“Right.” Yoosung was blushing, facing resolutely toward the TV as he found the power switch in the back. “Um, excuse me.” He hurried off to the bathroom. Saeran watched him leave, trying to see if he could get a glimpse.

He laid back in his bed, content to let the TV stay off. Yoosung came back several minutes later, looking tired and a bit distraught.

“It’s okay. You’re not the first one to relieve himself in the bathroom.”

“Oh my god.”

“What, are you embarrassed that I’ve done the same?”

“I actually thought of Saeyoung, first.”

“Oh. Oh god. Oh, god, no. I’m going to bed before that gets seared into my brain.”

“I was thinking it just before I came, and killed my orgasm.” Yoosung buried his face in Saeran’s side as it set itself on fire.

“Glad to know you aren’t attracted to him.” Saeran pulled Yoosung close, and they went to sleep.

 

“What? Yoosung, when did you get here?” Saeyoung asked the next morning, looking confused.

“Didn’t you know? I’ve been here the whole time. Why can you only see me now, Saeyoung?” Yoosung asked. He and Saeran had discussed it earlier that morning, and decided that pretending Yoosung was a ghost was going to be hilarious.

Yoosung called Saeran a bad influence.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I’ve always been in your house. You only ever saw me when you wanted to. Have you finally realized it, Saeyoung?”

“How… are you a ghost!?”

“I am.”

“But that’s impossible! You have to be alive! I’ve been to your apartment!” Saeyoung was freaking out. Yoosung hid a wicked grin behind a sad smile.

“Yes, you have.”

“And your eye, that was recent!”

“Was it?” Saeyoung looked like he was going to have a stroke. He went to his room and stayed there until the end of breakfast, when Miyoung went to check on him.

“I’ll tell him it’s a joke later,” Yoosung said, “and consider it payback for the Passing Out After Drinking Caffeine Syndrome prank.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i went home a couple weeks ago, and my dad mentioned me being a published author, but he said so proudly. my mom gave me a Look and i am still recovering.
> 
> comment if you wish :D:D:D please im dying
> 
> ALSO my birthday is in exactly one week! that's right, March 13th, so if you follow me on tumblr, please post some yoosung stuff i want him plastered on my dash.


	21. Color in the Courtroom

Yoosung held Saeran’s hand tightly. He had a new pair of glasses in front of his eyes, correcting the damage done enough that he could see the worry on his boyfriend’s face.

“You’ll be fine,” Yoosung said, rubbing tiny circles on the back of Saeran’s hand. “Everything will work out. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know. But… what if they still see something wrong with me? What if...”

“They won’t. They’ll see the kind and gentle person I know. You are not who you used to be, even if you have relapses. Okay?”

“...okay.” Saeran focused on Yoosung’s glasses, memorizing the red color that was so much like blood. Yoosung took hold of his chin and kissed him. Then the judge called for him. It was time.

“Saeran Choi, you are being accused of breaking the arm of the plaintiff Mr. Kim.”

Saeran had to sit in the witness chair, as the opposing lawyer essentially interrogated him. He didn’t know court proceedings, and he could see from the look of confused concentration on Yoosung’s face that he didn’t know, either.

“Mr. Choi, did you break my client’s arm?”

“No. I broke his wrist. Less damage that way,” Saeran said. He tried to make himself sound better than he really was. He didn’t know why, but getting locked up would disappoint Yoosung, and he couldn’t let that happen.

“So you admit to hurting him?”

“Yes.” The lawyer looked to the jury, though Saeran wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t like he had proven a point, or anything.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this man readily used violence to harm Mr. Kim.” When he said it like that, it sounded almost like he had tried to hurt Yoosung. Saeran felt his heart start to race, and it wasn’t good. If he couldn’t keep himself under control, then things would probably end badly. He could end up hurting the lawyer, too.

“No more questions, Your Honor.” Mr. Kim’s lawyer sat down again, but Saeran wasn’t dismissed. He had to keep sitting there, where everyone would see him. As he waited to be let go from the seat, he twiddled his thumbs, hunching his shoulders inward.

“You may go, Mr. Choi,” the judge said.

“Thank you, Your Honor,” Saeran said quietly. He left the seat and hurried back to his side of the room, sitting again and trying to hide. It didn’t work so well. The teller girl was brought in next, as a witness.

“Miss Park, can you tell us about what you know of this man?” one of the lawyers asked. Saeran wasn’t sure which one it was.

“Sure. He helped me when I was being harassed by the man with the broken wrist.” That was also a shock. Saeran watched the girl go off on Mr. Kim, trying to keep his jaw from hanging as she tore into whatever shoddy defense might have existed. She talked about how he had been demanding at the bank, and how Saeran had stood up for her. At that point, the jury seemed likely to let Saeran go free. It didn’t feel right.

They left to decide how it was going to go down. Saeran bounced his leg, staring at the desk. Yoosung came up beside him, moving slowly and cautiously into Saeran’s field of view before placing a comforting hand on his back.

“You did good. I think they’re going to rule in your favor,” Yoosung said.

“The whole time, whenever they said ‘Mr. Kim’, I could only think of you. He’s not the Kim I regret hurting,” Saeran murmured. Yoosung pulled him close.

“I know. And, to be honest, I don’t think you really meant to hurt him, either. Knowing you, it was probably some sort of instinctive action to protect yourself. I mean, you broke his wrist and not his arm, since it would cause less damage.”

“Right.” Saeran didn’t believe him.

“Um, Saeran?” They both looked up to see the teller standing in front of them.

“Yeah?”

“I just wanted to say thank you, again, for helping me when that man was harassing me. You’re a kind person.” Her eyes were so genuine, like she really believed what she had just said. Saeran almost started crying. It was one thing for Yoosung to say it, since he could see the good in everyone, but for someone who was almost a complete stranger to say so…

“Thank you for defending me,” Saeran said. “I wish I could do something for you.”

“No thanks needed. I’m happy to help anyone who helped me. Tell you what, if you need anything from me, then I can do it.”

The jury came back an hour later, after deliberating over what they wanted to happen. It was decided that Saeran was defending himself, and had to pay for Mr. Kim’s hospital bill. He did so gladly, taking it in stride.

He and Yoosung left the courthouse. There was no longer a reason to stay.

“Thank you for staying with me today, Yoosung. I’ll pay for your bill, too, since it was my fault.”

“You don’t need to do that. You’re already paying for one Kim, there’s no need to pay for two,” Yoosung said, smiling.

“You’re the one I want to pay for, though.” Saeran took hold of Yoosung’s hand, squeezing it gently. Yoosung squeezed back, blushing.

“Saeran. You always say the nicest things to me. I love you.” Yoosung bumped into Saeran playfully. Saeran bumped him back.

“You just can’t stop being violent, can you?”

“Can’t I? I mean, I’m not really doing anything right now,” Saeran shot back automatically. He didn’t even bother turning around. He knew who was behind him, and he really didn’t want to bother with another confrontation, especially since the first one was losing him money.

“You just pushed him!”

“I did.” Mr. Kim came around to the front, looking Saeran in the eye.

“You’d better make up for this,” he said, brandishing his arm.

“I am. That’s what this court date was all about.”

“Mr. Kim. You’re an embarrassment,” Yoosung said. He tugged on Saeran’s hand, leading him away from the man.

“How dare you, you brat!”

“You should look in the mirror. I think you’ll find that I’m not the brat.” There was a dark look in Yoosung’s eyes, like he was two steps from making a bad decision. Saeran led him away. They returned to Saeran’s home, entering his room to take a break.

Yoosung stretched out on Saeran’s bed, raising his arms high over his head. Saeran sat down next to him, leaning over to try and catch his breath. He couldn’t believe that he hadn’t had to serve jail time for what he did. Was it really not that serious? Tears pricked at the backs of his eyes, and then suddenly, they were soaking his jeans.

“Saeran? Saeran, are you okay?” Yoosung asked, worried. He tried to answer, but all he got was a choked sob and more crying. Yoosung pulled him into a hug, holding him tightly as Saeran cried.

“I’m here, I’ve got you.” Saeran clung to Yoosung’s shirt as he cried. He wanted to figure out why. This shouldn’t have been that bad, but…

It was because of Yoosung, because of how he hurt him. Even now, he could see the damage. He would always be able to see that damage, and Yoosung would never be able to see properly.

Saeran tried to focus on the colors around him. It helped to calm him in times like this, he had found. His walls looked the same, if a bit faded. He really needed to paint them. Yoosung was wearing his blue hoodie, like he always was. It seemed a bit faded, too. That was odd. Now that he thought about it, did Yoosung’s eyes look the same? Aside from the obvious.

Pulling back to look at Yoosung, Saeran realized that it was true. Colors had faded a bit for him.

“Yoosung, how well can you see color, now?” he asked, a theory forming in his mind.

“Not as well as before. Why?”

“I think it’s affecting both of us.”

“Oh. I’ll try to get this fixed as soon as possible, then, so that you don’t have to suffer any more than you have to.” They kissed.

“You don’t have the money for the surgery,” Saeran said.

“I know, but still. The sooner the better, right?”

“Right.” Saeran turned on the TV to Yoosung’s favorite show, going to make some popcorn before putting a movie in.

“Hey, how are you?” Saeyoung asked. He was a lot less clingy nowadays. It made Saeran glad that he was finally respecting boundaries properly, but to be honest, he kind of missed it when Saeyoung would tackle hug him. It was like a special brother thing.

“I’m fine,” Saeran replied. He tore the plastic off a bag of microwave popcorn, throwing it in and pressing the popcorn button. The directions said not to, but honestly, it was the perfect length of time. Then Saeran hugged his brother.

“It was stressful, huh?”

“Everyone was looking at me, judging me.”

“What was the sentence?”

“I just have to pay his bill. The jury said that I was defending myself, which I was.”

“That’s good. I can help you pay it off, since you don’t exactly have a job right now.”

“I will, soon, once the spring comes. I got an application at a flower shop.”

“You did? Congratulations! You’re finally growing up.” Saeyoung looked at Saeran with pride, then started tearing up. “My little brother is becoming a man.”

“I’ve been a man for awhile, you know.”

“I know, I know, but! The real way to become an adult is… to get with your soulmate!”

“Is that always possible?”

“Of course!”

“Even if your soulmate’s a dog?”

“What?”

“The girl at the flower shop’s soulmate was her dog. It died, and now she’s red-green colorblind like it was. I don’t know how she does her job, but she does it well.”

“I see. Well, physical intimacy isn’t for everyone. Some people just don’t like it.”

“What if I don’t?”

“Yoosung will respect that. Trust me.”

“I do. I trust him more, though.” Saeran smirked as his brother’s face dropped. The microwave went off, and Saeran collected his bag, putting the popcorn into a bowl after shaking the kernels out carefully. He took the bowl into his room.

“Saeyoung’s being weird again,” he said. Yoosung chuckled.

“He hasn’t been so bad lately, huh?”

“Yeah.” They turned a movie on, looking forward to watching it together. Yoosung was finally able to stare at screens for extended periods of time, and it was only an hour and a half, so he knew he could handle it.

“Zen’s been worried since the accident. He keeps saying that he’s going to kill you, but I can tell he doesn’t mean it.”

“He should try. Maybe it’ll help. How’s Jaehee been?”

“She’s fine. Business has been pretty slow lately. Winter season, and all.”

“Right.” The movie progressed with what it was doing. Saeran slung an arm around Yoosung’s shoulders. Yoosung snuggled into him adorably. The popcorn was finished quickly, but neither of them cared. At that point, they were just happy that Saeran hadn’t been convicted.

Dinner came, and with it, Yoosung and Saeran left his room to actually go and eat something. Saeran had been too nervous that day to do so. He sat between Miyoung and Yoosung, with Saeyoung across from him. It had never occurred to him just how many people were in his life with the same last sound in their name. He found it odd.

“I heard from Saeyoung that all you have to do is pay for the other guy’s bill. That’s pretty awesome!” Miyoung said. She was smiling widely. Saeran gave a small smile back. He was glad that he had reason to do so.

The conversation continued on lighter topics, as they talked about their days. Saeran and Yoosung elaborated on what happened in the courtroom until they were all done eating. They went off to their respective rooms, Yoosung following Saeran back into his.

“I know that you’re not comfortable with sex...” Yoosung started. Saeran felt a lump rise in his throat. Where was Yoosung going with this? He turned to look at the blond, who was looking him in the eye with confidence.

“Yeah…?”

“I was wondering… if I could take your sweater off, because I want to touch your skin while we make out.”

“Oh. Sure.” Saeran moved to take his sweater off, but Yoosung stopped him.

“Let me.” They stood in the middle of the floor, as Yoosung leaned up a bit to kiss Saeran. He started off gently, caressing Saeran’s lips with his own, then slowly pushed deeper in. His hand reached up to hold Saeran’s head, fingers curling into his hair as his tongue swiped at Saeran’s lower lip.

Saeran opened his mouth, inviting Yoosung’s tongue inside. He was excited to see where this was going to go. As their kisses became more heated, Yoosung’s free hand slid down Saeran’s chest sensually, setting nerves on fire over two layers of cloth. Fingers played with the hem of his sweater, slipping under and starting the journey back up before coming down again.

“You said you were going to take it off,” Saeran said, smirking, once they broke for air. Yoosung peppered his face with kisses, both of his hands reaching the bottom hem and starting to pull it up.

“I am,” Yoosung whispered hotly. He lifted it over Saeran’s head as the redhead lifted his arms to assist, then threw it to the ground. Saeran pulled his glasses off his face, then his hair clips, tossing them onto the bed. He cupped Yoosung’s jaw roughly, pulling him into an even rougher kiss.

“Stop being such a tease,” Saeran growled. Yoosung yelped. They crashed their lips together again, instantly going as deep as they could. Yoosung moaned into Saeran’s mouth, tongue faltering, then dancing all around as if to make up for the momentary lapse. He explored every inch of Saeran’s mouth.

“I can’t stand anymore,” Yoosung breathed. Saeran brought him to the bed in response, careful not to crush the glasses. He kept moving his tongue, trying to make Yoosung feel as good as possible. Yoosung couldn’t stop moaning. His breathing became labored, and then he pulled away.

“We should stop now. Uh.” Saeran nodded, feeling his own hardness. He laid down beside Yoosung, hoping that he could just soften up, rather than have to take care of it.

“That was… good. I almost forgot that you have a tattoo.”

“Yeah. I feel comfortable around you, I guess.”

“I guess so. Or did you just figure that I wouldn’t be able to see it?” Yoosung looked at Saeran, a shit-eating grin on his face. Saeran raised an eyebrow.

“I hadn’t considered that, but it works out, huh?” There was a moment of silence, then laughter as they both cracked up.

“This has honestly been a pretty great birthday. Zen’s taking me out drinking later. Do you want to come?”

“Yeah, that sounds like fun.”

 

Saeran honestly wasn’t expecting it to actually be fun to go outside with people and drink. Zen led them through the streets of town on their way to some place that he knew really well, apparently excited to go out with his friends, too.

They walked into a bar some way into the city, beyond where Saeran usually went. He remembered that this particular bar had a dumpster which, by now, no longer had part of a gun in it. He did his best not to mention that it was ever there in the first place.

Zen ordered drinks for them at the bar while Saeran and Yoosung went and found a table they could sit at and enjoy their drinks.

“This place is pretty loud,” Saeran said, hoping Yoosung could hear him. They had cooled down awhile ago, and now it was like any other night out.

“Yeah, it is. It’s pretty rowdy for a Sunday night, huh?” Zen came back with their drinks, setting down some beers in front of them.

“Aw, come on. Nothing stronger?”

“Not right now. I don’t want you to be a blubbering mess before the night’s even begun.”

“Fine.” Yoosung downed his drink quickly, Zen following suit. It was the first taste of alcohol for Saeran. He knew that it wouldn’t mix well with his pills, and decided that it wasn’t going to happen. Not yet, anyway.

He watched as Yoosung and Zen started talking. Sure enough, even with one beer, Yoosung was starting to get teary. Saeran couldn’t believe his eyes. It seemed like such a small amount. Zen wasn’t even drunk yet, and Saeran hadn’t touched his.

“Saeran, aren’t you going to drink yours?” Zen asked.

“No, it wouldn’t mix well with my meds.” Yoosung’s eyes widened.

“Oh my god, I completely forgot. What kind of a boyfriend am I?”

“Yoosung, no. There’s no need to cry --- oh my god.” It was too late. Yoosung was turning into a blubbering mess, and clearly trying to keep himself together. He had had one beer.

“Maybe we should leave until we sort this out,” Zen said. He took Saeran’s beer, intending to drink it, but Yoosung was too fast. He pulled it out of Zen’s hand, glaring at him.

“He’s my soulmate. If anyone’s going to drink this, it’s me.” And with that, Yoosung downed his second beer of the night. At least he stopped crying.

“Another?” Zen asked, once he recovered from his shock.

“Yes, please.” The night continued like that, with the three of them hopping from one bar to the next, Zen getting beers, and Yoosung getting all manner of drinks, some with higher alcohol contents than others. As time went on, he became drunker and drunker, until all either Saeran or Zen could make out in the quiet streets was incoherent blubbering. It was time to go home.

“Alright, Yoosung, time for bed. Come on.”

“No way~ my birthday’s not over yet~”

“It ended two hours ago, and you have school tomorrow,” Saeran said. Yoosung started crying harder than he already was. Saeran rolled his eyes, then looked at Zen and winked.

“One more bar, then.” They led Yoosung into the car.

“Where are we going?” he asked, as Saeran drove home.

“A special bar that only opens after midnight.”

“Ooh, that sounds so cool!”

“Right?” Zen tried to stifle his laughter. While Yoosung was distracted with the “pretty fairies out the window,” he leaned over to Saeran.

“I need to get home, too, so that Jaehee doesn’t worry.”

“I’ll drive you once I get Yoosung some water and into bed.”

“Thanks.” They pulled into the garage, then stumbled inside. Saeran sat Yoosung down on the couch, saying that he was going to the bar to get him a drink. Yoosung started humming and twiddling his thumbs, until Saeran returned with a glass of water.

“Here, try this,” he said, handing it over.

“Tasty...” Yoosung drained it, then handed the glass back to Saeran. “Another!” Saeran ended up giving him and Zen three glasses each, then they needed the bathroom.

“I can hold it. Looks like he’s going to explode,” Zen said.

“Agreed.” Yoosung went to the bathroom, managing not to throw up. Saeran had to admit, he was impressed. He couldn’t hold his drinks so well, but he could hold them down.

Hopefully he wouldn’t throw up in bed.

Once he was done, Zen went in. Saeran helped Yoosung get ready for bed. He was tired, and his glasses were all askew, but he didn’t really care. He just plopped down on the mattress, ready to sleep for the rest of the night. Saeran set his alarm and took his glasses off. Yoosung grabbed his arm suddenly.

“Remember what happened last time you took them off?”

“Good night, Yoosung,” Saeran said, leaning down to kiss Yoosung’s forehead. He tucked him in, then removed his hair clips.

“Alright, time to go.” Saeran and Zen headed out again, with Zen giving Saeran directions to his house.

“You know, you and Yoosung are really good for each other,” Zen said.

“Thank you.”

“No, I mean it. Like, you’re both just a couple of kids, and you’re still so willing to just… jump into the thick of things. You know it took Jaehee like… half a year to even consider actually dating me. And that was with my charm. Now look at you. You’ve been facing crazy stuff almost since the beginning, and you’re still together.”

“It’s not like there’s anyone else for us.”

“Not true. I’ve seen a couple soulmate pairs break it off anyway, and see other people. I don’t think one of them’s come back together, now that I think about it. Oh, right. I’m gonna kill you.”

“Go ahead and try,” Saeran said. He knew Zen was drunk, even if the older man with his red eyes didn’t want to admit it.

“Seriously. You’ve hurt Yoosung’s heart, and admittedly, he seriously needed the reality check. But now you’ve taken half his sight, and I am not okay with that.”

“I know. Neither am I.”

“Glad we’re on the same page. What are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know. All I can think of is to support him no matter what, but that doesn’t feel like enough.”

“To be there for him and all that, right? That’s probably the best you can do, unless you want to fund his surgery to get his sight completely fixed.”

“I can’t afford that, especially with another medical bill I have to pay.”

“Another one?”

“Not important. Bottom line is: I don’t have the money, and neither does he, which means that we either have to save up and wait while his condition deteriorates, or I find somewhere to get the money.”

“Well, whatever you do, don’t ask Mr. Trustfund Kid.” Zen glared out the window, waiting for a derisive response from Saeran. When he didn’t get one, he looked at the redhead in shock. “No.”

“I mean, he’d be willing to give me the money, knowing him. He’s probably been waiting this entire time to be asked.”

“Yeah, right. That guy doesn’t care about anyone but himself.”

“You’re wrong. Jumin cares about all of you. He doesn’t know how to express that, but he’s willing to drop work and money for whatever we might need. Right now, that means another surgery for Yoosung.” This time, there was no response from Zen.

“You might be right,” he said finally. “I still don’t like it, but if he can help Yoosung, then fine.”

“Good. It means a lot to me that you’re okay with this.”

“I’m not okay with any of this! Haven’t you been listening?” Saeran couldn’t help it. He started laughing at Zen’s outburst.

“You know, Yoosung keeps saying that he’s lucky to know me. I can almost hear him saying it in other universes where we’re together. But, I think that I’m really the lucky one between us. Because of him, I get to have the rest of you as good friends, too,” Saeran said.

“We’re all lucky to know Yoosung. He likes to make sure his friends are happy, and tries to help them any way possible.”

“Yeah. If the world were full of Yoosungs…” He was going to finish it sincerely. He really was. “We’d all be fucked because no one could lead for shit.” Zen cracked up.

“Oh my god! That’s true! That’s too true!” They came to his stop, and Zen climbed out.

“It was good talking with you, Saeran. Good luck moving forward.”

“Thanks. Say hi to Jaehee for me. You can blame me for you staying out so late.”

“Alright, I will. Night.”

“Night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i like the dynamic between Zen and Saeran that could be, as reforming edgelord meets reformed badboy and gets tips.
> 
> comment if you wish :D:D:D
> 
> (also i am now 19! yay)


	22. Color in Cuddling

Yoosung was twenty-one. He went to school the next day, feeling ecstatic about being older, and that he had gotten to share this birthday with Saeran. It was really something special for him, having a soulmate, spending time together, being able to just… love him.

Every time he thought about love, it made him giddy. He wanted to do something for Saeran, something big that he would really enjoy. Yoosung tried to think of something while he was at work, but he couldn’t think of anything by the time Saeran came in to get his coffee.

During class, Yoosung’s head was filled with ideas of what he could do, or get, but he still came up with nothing. When he met with Saeran between classes, they talked about what they were going to do during spring break. Saeran said that Saeyoung and Miyoung were going to be taking him to some warm resort down south.

“Really?” Yoosung asked. “That sounds like so much fun!”

“Yeah. They said you can come, too, if you want.” Yoosung’s eyes got wide, and he smiled widely.

“I’d love to! How can he afford so many trips? Didn’t you guys go on a trip over winter break, too?”

“Yeah, we did. And then two months before, we went fishing that one time. I forgot to say, I pushed him into the lake.”

“Oh my god. I was kind of wondering why you didn’t do anything to him. Did you get his phone out, first?”

“Of course. I’m not an ass.” They laughed together. It felt nice. Yoosung focused on his work as best he could, but with his dead eye, it was a bit hard. He didn’t say anything to Saeran, though. The less he disturbed his boyfriend about this, the better.

He attended his last class of the day, figuring that being able to spend more time with Saeran would be pretty good. After all, he knew that the redhead liked having time alone, and the fact that he didn’t consider Yoosung an intruder in his personal space was really cool. Yoosung loved spending time with him, and it made him feel really special to know that Saeran liked it, too.

Yoosung wondered if Saeran felt special because of Yoosung. He said that he was lucky, but was that what he thought, or how he felt? There was a sudden urge to know for sure.

After class, Yoosung hunted Saeran down. It was tough. Saeran was one hell of a speedwalker, probably because of all the time he spent trying to be not near people, but Yoosung was filled with determination. He caught up to his boyfriend, interlacing their fingers. Saeran slowed down instinctively.

“You don’t usually walk home with me,” Saeran said, smiling. “What’s up?”

“Well, I wanted to know something. You’ve said that you feel lucky to know me, right? And I know I’ve said stuff like that to you. Do you really feel that way?” Yoosung looked at Saeran, unsure of what to do with his hand. Saeran returned his gaze, then looked away, up at the sky where clouds were drifting by.

“I do, yeah. I can feel in my heart that I wouldn’t be in such a good place without you. I know I’m lucky, because I feel you influencing me to be… better,” Saeran said. “That sounds sappy.” He chuckled nervously, running his free hand through his hair.

“I feel the same way. That you’re like, a light showing me the best way to live. If I stay with you, then I know that everything will be okay. God, that sounds really sappy. I feel like I’m in a romance movie.”

“You like romance movies.”

“I like you, too. Maybe that’s why I said that,” Yoosung said.

“Maybe. You know, you scared me for a moment. I thought that you were going to ask if I’ve had doubts about our relationship.”

“No, I know you’ve had doubts about our relationship. That’s where we started. I love you.”

“Love you too, dork.” They headed to Saeran’s place, since Yoosung had missed the bus home running after him.

“It’s pretty cool that Saeyoung and Miyoung moved to a new place when you got accepted. I wish I could still live with my mom, sometimes.”

“Yeah, it’s nice knowing that they care about me like this. Makes me feel… accepted.”

“Right? And we only have to get through one more week before break starts.”

“It feels like we just got off of break, honestly.”

“Yeah.” Yoosung really enjoyed feeling Saeran’s hand in his. He swung their hands back and forth, humming a little tune. It was the one about the shooting star that he had introduced Saeran to months ago. Saeran started humming with him. They wandered down the street like that, Yoosung completely oblivious to the world around them, until he noticed Saeran stopped humming and fought the hand swinging.

“What is it?”

“That.” Saeran pointed to some road construction that was blocking their path. He went ahead, checking out how far it went.

“It’s taking over the whole street,” he said, as Yoosung came up behind him.

“Sorry, we’ve got this entire road blocked off. A water mane burst under the street from the cold, and we’re reinforcing as much as we can as soon as possible,” said a construction worker. Yoosung could see that what he said was true. There were signs and vehicles everywhere, and the pavement was torn up.

“How are we supposed to get home, now?” Yoosung wondered.

“I don’t know. Is there a way around this?” Saeran asked the construction worker. The worker pushed their hat up as they scratched their forehead.

“Not sure, to be honest. It’s just what I was told to say when people want to get through. You can ask my supervisor. He might know.”

“Thank you.” Yoosung and Saeran went to where the construction worker had pointed, sighting a man with a clipboard directing his force.

“Excuse me, sir,” Yoosung said.

“I’m busy,” the man said. Yoosung decided in that moment that he was perfectly undeterred.

“We’re trying to go around the construction. Which way is the fastest?”

“I don’t really care.”

“I do! Who’s your supervisor?”

“Why do you want to know?” the man asked. He seemed annoyed that Yoosung wasn’t giving up. He could feel Saeran watching him nervously from a fair distance.

“Because I’d like to report you for causing a public disturbance. Even if it is your job, it’s very annoying that you can’t even provide helpful directions for the people affected by this.” He tried to stare the man with the clipboard down, but it had been a long day, and his eye was starting to hurt.

“You can try if you want,” the man said haughtily. Yoosung raised an eyebrow, looking over at one of the trucks, which had a phone number on it. He pulled his phone out, intending to call the office. He didn’t know what it would do, but at the very least, it would raise a query, right? It felt weird to him, to actually be raising a fuss over this sort of thing. Normally, he would be willing to just work it out for himself.

Today was not a good day for patience for Yoosung Kim.

“Don’t you dare!” the supervisor shouted. He grabbed Yoosung’s phone, holding it far above Yoosung’s disparately short head. Saeran decided that enough was enough, and went over to take the man down and get Yoosung’s phone back. Then he remembered that the last time he was violent to some rando, he had ended up in court. He took a page out of Yoosung’s book and called the supervisor’s higher up.

“Yes, hello. I’m on the street with the broken water main, trying to find a way around. My boyfriend asked the supervisor on hand for help, got none, and now the supervisor has stolen his phone and is holding it hostage. Yes, it’s happening.”

“Give it back!” Yoosung shouted. Saeran’s phone line went off, then a ringing came from the supervisor. He pulled his phone out, and Saeran smirked.

“Yes, sir? I haven’t stolen anything, sir,” the supervisor said.

“Yes, he has! He stole my phone!” Yoosung lunged at him again, trying to climb up and get his phone back.

“Hey, get off me!”

“Yoosung, no. Don’t worry,” Saeran said calmly, pulling his boyfriend down. “Sorry about that, sir.”

“Ugh, fine. Here, kid. Now get lost.” The supervisor handed Yoosung his phone, grumbling about some thing or another.

“Why did you pull me off of him?” Yoosung demanded.

“Because if you had actually caused him harm, you would have gone to court, too. It wasn’t fun the first time.”

“Oh. Yeah. Did you call his boss?”

“Yup. It’s easier and more effective to go to the authorities sometimes, huh?”

“Yeah, it is.” They held hands again, and Yoosung decided that he was officially done with trying to go around the construction. He headed right across the street, jumping over the furrow that had been made to reach the pipes. Saeran followed, smirking.

“I think I’m a bad influence on you,” he said. “First you try to start a fight, and now you’re going through government work like it’s nothing. We should stop hanging out.”

“Are you kidding? I’m finally growing a spine! I like this.”

“Just don’t let it get too bad, alright? I don’t want you to be arrested.”

“Have you ever been arrested?” Yoosung asked.

“Yeah. Once before, but I was cleared of all charges. Then I went home with Saeyoung and Miyoung. It was an unpleasant experience from start to finish. At least the other people in the jail were too afraid and smart to approach me.”

“I see. You’re not as scary, now.”

“I’m not?”

“Nope! I’ve seen you try to do your glare, and it’s not as potent. I bet you would have won against my mom if you hadn’t started dating me, first!”

“I’ve noticed that, too. Honestly, I’m glad. It was nice being able to scare people off easily, but I don’t want that to be the effect I have on people for the rest of my life,” Saeran said. He squeezed Yoosung’s hand gently, and Yoosung squeezed it back.

“Good. You know, you’ve really changed since we met properly,” Yoosung said.

“Aside from the glare?”

“Yep! You’re less shy now, and more just quiet. You don’t seem to have so many episodes anymore, and you smile a lot more.”

“That’s all thanks to you. But you know, you’ve gotten more confident in yourself, and more assertive. You’ve got drive, and ambition. You changed too, Yoosung.”

“That’s thanks to you. Do you think… this is what it means to be soulmates?”

“To make each other better? Yeah. I do.” Saeran felt serene, complete. He looked up at the changing clouds in the sky, imagining that one was him, and the other was Yoosung. How would they change next? And what would they become?

He heard Yoosung laughing next to him.

“What’s so funny?” Saeran asked.

“Nothing, nothing. It’s just, when you said ‘I do’ like that, it almost sounded like we were getting married.” Yoosung laughed more. He seemed happy. Saeran laughed with him.

“What goes on in your head half the time?”

“A lot of stuff! About my classes, and you, mostly,” Yoosung said. “I wanted to do more for you, earlier today, but now I think I really am doing a lot, just by being around you.”

“Yeah, you are. I keep telling you, you know.”

“I know, but still. And we have that trip next week, right?”

“Right. I still need to tell Miyoung that you’re coming along. It’ll be fun.”

“You won’t let Saeyoung prank me, will you?”

“No, I won’t. You have nothing to worry about,” Saeran said. Yoosung breathed a sigh of relief as they made it to Saeran’s place. “I may prank you myself, but it’ll be harmless.”

“What!? … Alright, I trust you.”

“I’m glad you do. Do you want to study together?”

“Sure.” They headed inside, crashing in Saeran’s room and actually getting to studying --- for five minutes. Saeran felt like he could actually concentrate, until Yoosung shifted a bit next to him, bumping into him. He did it again.

“Yoosung, you’re moving too much,” Saeran said.

“Ah, sorry. I have trouble concentrating if I’m not moving.”

“It’s alright. I have some fidget toys, if you want one,” Saeran said, going to his desk. He pulled out a little cube with buttons, switches, and a ball that rolled in place like an old computer mouse. Yoosung reached out for it, taking it in his hands and pressing a button. It clicked. He tried one on another side, where it didn’t, and smiled.

“It won’t annoy you if it doesn’t make any noise, right?”

“Right. Have fun playing with it,” Saeran said. He kissed Yoosung on the head, then went back to studying. Yoosung rolled the ball around a lot, clicked the quiet buttons, and made more progress on his homework in one go than he had before.

“This cube is awesome! Where did you get it?”

“Miyoung found an article about them, one day, and decided to buy me one. Then I guess she told Saeyoung about them, because now there are about thirty of them in various places. Saeyoung has one by his desk, Miyoung has one in her purse, and the rest of them are either with me, or somewhere communally accessible. You can keep that one.”

“Thank you.” Yoosung grinned, then kissed Saeran on the cheek. They went back to studying, Saeran now able to concentrate properly. Once they finished an assignment each, Yoosung decided that he wanted to play games.

“Are you sure you can handle it? You look like you need a nap,” Saeran said.

“Just one round?” Yoosung begged. Saeran sighed.

“Alright. One round, then you’re taking a nap in the car, and I’m bringing you home. You’re still recovering, you know.”

“Sounds good to me.” They went into the living room, finding a fierce death match already happening between Saeyoung and Miyoung. Saeran rolled his eyes. He recognized the game as one of the Nintendo ones. They sometimes played each other on dish night, when there were a lot of dishes to clean, or if the meal was an especially sticky one.

So far, Miyoung was kicking Saeyoung’s ass, but all three of them knew it was a farce. Saeyoung was too good to allow a lead of two lives like that. Miyoung was in trouble. For a moment, Saeran considered letting Saeyoung win, then decided that that wasn’t going to happen. He snuck up behind his brother, reached for his sides, and tickled them.

Saeyoung jumped three feet into the air, leaping forward off the couch and screeching like a demon that ate pictures of cats was coming for his secret flashdrive. Miyoung finished him in two seconds, as he tried to recover on the floor.

“What was that for?”

“I want you to suffer,” Saeran said, smirking. Saeyoung pouted.

“Babe, he’s being mean to me~”

“Oh, how awful. Complain while you’re doing the dishes,” Miyoung said, setting her controller down. Yoosung giggled.

“Yoosung! I checked your files, and you are definitely alive!”

“It took you thinking I might be dead to see me properly. Are you sure that you’re not manipulating yourself into believing I’m alive?” Saeyoung stared at him, a look on his face like the cat picture eating demon had cornered him and his flashdrive.

“I’m joking, Saeyoung. I’m not dead, this is just payback for your stupid caffeine prank.”

“Oh. Wow.” Saeyoung laughed loudly. Saeran knew he was sincere, and started chuckling too. Soon they were all laughing together. “You really got me, you know? Good work.”

“Do you need help with the dishes?”

“Nah, I’ve got them,” Saeyoung said. He went off to the kitchen to wash the burnt remains of a new recipe that Miyoung had been trying.

“We’re having takeout tonight, if you want anything, Yoosung,” Miyoung said, pulling her phone out.

“I was going to go home after a round, but if you really don’t mind.”

“Never. You’re always welcome here. Saeran is a lot happier when you’re around.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s like you’re a bright spot in his gloomy attitude. You never noticed?”

“No, not really. I have noticed that he seems happier now,” Yoosung said.

“I’m right here,” Saeran interjected. He grabbed a controller, picking his character, intending to whoop Yoosung’s butt.

“Sorry.”

“What do you want?”

“Umm…” Yoosung picked a character, “dumplings.”

“Alright. Saeran? Chinese?”

“Chicken fried rice.” Miyoung nodded, then went to the kitchen to ask Saeyoung. The match started, and Saeran went right for the throat, intending to knock off Yoosung’s lives as quickly as possible. Yoosung made his plan very hard.

It was especially hard when he was down to one life and Yoosung had only lost one.

“You can’t be serious,” Saeran muttered.

“I am completely serious. That’s why I’m winning. What’s your motivation?”

“To beat you.”

“I’m not going to lose,” Yoosung said. He locked Saeran’s character into a combo, pulling a powerful finishing move, and blasted Saeran off the screen.

“No!”

“Yes!”

“Goddammit. Well, that was our round. Food won’t be here for a bit, if you want to rest your eyes.”

“That sounds good,” Yoosung said, crawling over to Saeran, who turned to face him and adjusted position to make things more comfortable. He laid his head in his boyfriend’s lap, taking his glasses off and closing his eyes. Saeran carded his fingers through blond locks, lifting them and watching as they floated back down. It was a peaceful moment.

He enjoyed the moments when the two of them were walking together, talking together, kissing, but these moments, when one or the other, or even both at the same time, just let their guard down were Saeran’s favorites. Leaning his head back, Saeran tried to picture where he would be now, if he hadn’t met Yoosung that day.

Dropping out of college was near the top of things Saeran had wanted to do at the time. He would still have his black jacket, with the forgotten gun still inside the pocket. Maybe he would have gone insane, having nowhere to go and nothing to do, tried to off himself.

This was so much better. He had someone to cuddle with, to love, to be with, and adore. Someone he wanted to get up in the morning for, and live with. If Saeran could go back in time to his younger self from a year ago, he would have told himself that it does get better for him, that things are going to be okay. He knew it was an impossible thing, but at least now he knew.

Life was good.

Food arrived, so Saeran woke Yoosung up to eat his dumplings, handing him his glasses. The four of them gathered on the couch, talking about one thing or another, when Saeran remembered the trip.

“Oh, Yoosung said he would go with us, next week.”

“Yep! It sounds like a lot of fun!”

“And a chance to reconnect with my best friend, most of all,” Saeyoung said, nudging Yoosung, who simply raised an eyebrow.

“Saeyoung.”

“Yes~?”

“Don’t pull anything stupid.”

“I wouldn’t dare!” Saeyoung said, holding his hand over his heart. “I am aghast that you would accuse me of such a thing!”

“You know, now that we’re not just texting each other anymore, I can actually see you being sarcastic,” Yoosung said. He ate a dumpling, as if to prove his point. Saeran smiled, eating some fried rice. He managed to get some into Yoosung’s mouth, who then let him have a dumpling.

“Aww, look at them sharing food. They’re so cute!” Saeyoung cooed.

“Smile, you two! I’m taking a picture,” Miyoung said, holding up her phone. Yoosung smiled widely, and Saeran managed to give a smile.

“Yay!” Miyoung cheered as she looked at the picture. Saeyoung went over and looked at it.

“We need to print this out and put it up on the fridge!” Yoosung held out his hand for the phone, and when it came to him, he looked at the picture on it. It looked nice.

“You look good here,” Yoosung said, showing Saeran.

“Yeah? You do, too. Really cute.” Saeran handed Miyoung her phone as Yoosung snuggled into his side to hide the blush spreading across his cheeks. His glasses went askew as he did.

“He never let me call him cute,” Saeyoung said.

“Boyfriend privileges.” Saeran pulled Yoosung closer, laying his cheek against fluffy hair.

 

Yoosung was asleep in the car, just as Saeran had told him. He was so peaceful when he was asleep, Saeran didn’t want to disturb him as he drove home. Unfortunately, there was still a lot of road construction in the way. Saeran came upon it, and crumpled his lips, trying to think of another way to get Yoosung home.

He started taking back roads, looking for a way around. It took three hours, but he managed to get across the way, and then he was able to reach Yoosung’s apartment. Pulling into the parking lot, he tried to figure out how to get Yoosung up the stairs without awaking him.

Saeran unbuckled Yoosung, moving one arm under his back, and the other under his legs. He lifted him up, making sure Yoosung still had his glasses, hanging on his shirt. It would be a mess if he lost them.

Getting inside proved to be a challenge in itself, as the door swung outward, but Saeran figured it out and carried Yoosung inside. He pressed the button to call the elevator, and stepped inside, nearly hitting Yoosung’s head on the way in. Once Saeran got in, he very carefully hit the button for the eighteenth floor, making sure that he didn’t end up knocking Yoosung for real.

The elevator opened up, and Mr. Seong was on the other side with a woman.

“Hello, Mr. Seong,” Saeran said. “Who’s this?”

“This is my wife, Mina.”

“It’s lovely to meet you, Mrs. Seong. I’m Saeran, Yoosung’s soulmate.”

“Lovely to meet you, as well, Saeran. I see he’s tired. I often worry for that boy, but it’s not my place to take care of him. He is an adult, after all.”

“Yeah, he is. He takes care of me, a lot. Anyway, have a good night.”

“You, too,” Mr. Seong said. They went into the elevator as Saeran figured out how to get Yoosung’s wallet out of his pocket. He unlocked the door, bringing Yoosung in and setting him on the bed. He stepped back, bending his back and stretching, then took Yoosung’s glasses off his shirt. Saeran set them on the bedside table tiredly. His hand dragged across the table, edging the pair close to the edge.

“Whoops, don’t want those falling,” Saeran muttered, knocking them off. The lenses broke as they hit the floor.

“Shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluffy fluffy *break* welp. i was gonna have them get lost at the resort, but this is also a Nice.
> 
> comment if you wish :D


	23. Color in a Resort

“Do you have any glue?” asked Yoosung, once he woke up. Saeran had climbed into bed next to him, figuring that Yoosung would find a solution in the morning. Now that it was morning, Yoosung was finding a solution.

“Not on me, no. I’ll go get some. We can figure this out then, right?”

“Right.” Saeran nodded, looking at the glasses that were resting on the bedside table. A small pile of glass sat next to them. He ran out, grabbing his coat. There would probably be some glue down at the convenience store. It was always a safe bet. That place had everything.

He felt a little weird about just leaving Yoosung, though, so before he left, Saeran gave his boyfriend a kiss.

“I’ll be back soon.”

“I’m waiting for you,” Yoosung replied. Saeran smiled, then went to the store.

He pushed the door open, looking around for the shelf that would have glue on it. After locating it at the back of the store, Saeran brought it to the front. There was a man in front of him with a broken arm buying groceries.

“Have a good day, sir!”

“Yeah, you too, miss,” he said. It was Mr. Kim, the one from court. Saeran bit the inside of his lip, hoping that they wouldn’t end up in a confrontation. They didn’t. He took his groceries and left.

“Is this all for today?”

“Yes, it is. Thank you,” Saeran said, buying the glue.

“No problem!” The cashier was very kind. Yoosung was lucky to live in such a nice place. Saeran took his glue back to the apartment, intent on getting it to Yoosung so they could plan what they needed for the trip. Would he even still want to go?

“I got the glue,” Saeran said, reentering the apartment. “I saw Mr. Kim buying groceries. Looks like he’s finally learned his lesson.”

“That’s good. Hand it over, I’ve got all the pieces in place.” Working together, the two of them held the pieces of the shattered lenses together and got them reattached pretty well. Once the lenses were back in one piece, Yoosung carefully put them into the frames, then tried the glasses on.

“It worked! This is pretty good.”

“Really?”

“Well, mostly. I can see through the lenses, but they’re… definitely shattered.”

“Oh. Sorry,” Saeran said.

“It’s alright. We got them fixed. I’ll get another pair made, and everything will be fine.”

“Yeah.” Yoosung took Saeran’s hand, pressing it to his forehead. Violet eyes met green, and Saeran could feel a calm spread through him.

 

If Yoosung could exude calm, then his brother exuded his excitement. Miyoung wasn’t helpful in containing him, since she was also excited. Saeran just hoped they reached their destination soon. Their luggage was all packed in the trunk, and Yoosung was bouncing along to the radio as Miyoung and Saeyoung talked.

“This is pretty exciting,” he said, his eyes wide. They were sparkling again, making Saeran smile. He felt like he would never get tired of seeing Yoosung so happy.

“Yeah, it is. I heard that there’s a pool there, and a bowling alley. It’s a pretty great spot for a vacation.”

“That sounds awesome!”

“Doesn’t it, though? That’s why I picked it,” Saeyoung said.

“And I thought it was for the soundproof rooms,” replied Miyoung. Saeran rolled his eyes. Of course Saeyoung had found a place for him and Miyoung to have sex without interruption. He glanced over at Yoosung, who hadn’t seemed to figure out what they were talking about. Then understanding dawned on him, and a blush stretched across his cheeks. He looked over at Saeran, started, and blushed harder, looking away hurriedly.

Saeran tried reaching for Yoosung’s hand, but Yoosung withdrew it on contact. Then it came back, and they held hands. Neither of them noticed as Miyoung took a picture. That was what she was on this trip for: getting pictures of the two of them being cute together, so they could be embarrassed at their future wedding. Saeyoung looked over at her and grinned.

“Saeran~ Can I be the best man?”

“Best man for what?”

“Your wedding!”

“My what!?” Saeran gripped Yoosung’s hand hard. Yoosung choked on spit.

“We- we’re not getting married, Saeyoung,” he said, once he had gotten his throat cleared of suffocation.

“Maybe not yet, but I can see it happening at some point,” Saeyoung said. Saeran groaned. Sometimes he wished his brother would stop being him. Saeran scoffed.

“One day, but not anytime soon. We still have to get to know each other better. I know you two fell in love in eleven days, but we want to take our time. It’s better this way,” Yoosung said. He pushed his glasses up onto his nose.

“Exactly. Shut up, Saeyoung,” Saeran said. Saeyoung laughed, and kept driving. They reached the resort soon after, and got checked in.

Saeran watched a happy couple twittering in the lobby as Saeyoung got everything settled with the clerk. Yoosung looked all around at the décor.

“Saeran, look. This whole place is a creamy white, huh? And the couches are a deep green that I haven’t seen before! It’s so beautiful.”

“Yeah, it really is. Do you… do you think we should?” Saeran murmured, hoping his siblings couldn’t hear him say that.

“What do you mean? Oh, about getting married?” Yoosung asked. Saeran rubbed the back of his head and nodded. He wasn’t sure about it. He wasn’t sure about a lot of things that required actual notable forms of commitment. Even hand holding had been an ordeal for awhile.

“Not yet. We’re both in college, and I want to get my degree before pursuing any sort of next step in my life. Once I’m financially secure, then, yeah, I’d want to get married, but this isn’t the time.”

“I agree. Once we’re on our own feet.’’

“Yeah! We can get our own place, then, and live together, to see what it’s like, and work everything out,” Yoosung said. He kissed Saeran’s cheek as Saeyoung came over to hand them their room keys.

They headed to their rooms, Yoosung and Saeran in one, Saeyoung and Miyoung in another.

“It’s a nice place,” Yoosung said. Saeran nodded. The walls were an inviting white, not like the sterile white at the hospital. It amazed him how one color, especially one that seemed so singular in shade, could communicate so many different feelings. The entire room had a red style accenting to it, so some of the pillow cases were red, as well as some embroidery on the sheets, and a carpet on the floor.

“Red’s a pretty popular color to use, huh?” Saeran said.

“Yeah, I guess it is. I wonder why.” Yoosung dropped his bag and laid back on the bed. “It’s so soft! Come and feel this.” Saeran laid down beside Yoosung, feeling the plushness of the mattress beneath him, and the downy feeling from the blanket.

“It is really soft,” he said quietly. He looked over to see Yoosung looking at him. Yoosung took a strand of his hair, pulling on it gently.

“I’m gonna grow my hair out. Let it go back to brown, like it used to be.”

“You’ll look good with brown hair,” Saeran said. He kissed Yoosung, then got up to unpack. Yoosung tugged on their entwined hands, bringing Saeran back down to him.

“Stay with me a little longer?” he asked. Saeran felt a light blush across his face, and nodded. They lay on the bed, not moving, just enjoying being next to each other.

“I’m really happy you decided to come, Yoosung.”

“I’m happy to spend time with you. I love you, Saeran.”

“I love you, too. But we really should unpack, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, we should.” They got up, pulling everything that they had brought out of their suitcases and putting them into the drawers that the hotel had. Saeran thought it was kind of weird that they did this. Wasn’t a suitcase enough? What if he forgot something? That wouldn’t be good. Regardless, his things ended up inside the wardrobe and the drawers, right next to Yoosung’s.

“Is this okay?” Yoosung asked.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” It was more than fine. Saeran liked how his clothes looked next to Yoosung’s, like it was natural that they should be like that. It was natural for them to fit together like this. Saeran let a small smile play across his lips, then he grabbed his swimming stuff.

“What are you---?”

“There’s a pool, right? We should go swimming together.”

“Yeah! Let’s go,” Yoosung said. He grabbed his own swim trunks, and they headed down.

The pool was massive. It was circular in shape, and the water was extremely blue, light on the shallow end, and gradually getting darker as it got deeper. Saeran led Yoosung to the edge. He couldn’t swim well, but that was okay. He knew Yoosung wouldn’t mind, and as long as he managed to focus solely on what Yoosung thought, then he would be okay.

It wasn’t going to happen like that, of course, but Saeran could dream.

They got into the pool, which was fairly empty, swimming around the shallow end for awhile. Yoosung started drifting deeper, and Saeran followed. He wasn’t sure how far he could go before he would need to rest. It seemed like the pool got infinitely deeper, and was infinitely large. However, Yoosung stopped after a bit.

“I can’t swim too well,” he said, “so I don’t like going too deep.”

“Me either.” They kept to the shallow end, splashing each other and having fun, until Yoosung wanted to see what else was at the resort.

“So why did Saeyoung and Miyoung bring us along with them?” Yoosung asked. “They could have done everything on their own.”

“Maybe he feels bad about letting your friendship slip?” Saeran said. Yoosung nodded in understanding. The truth was, Saeran didn’t really know. Saeyoung tended to be a mystery to people, and while he could figure him out most of the time, he was equally mystified this time. Maybe there was no reason.

It was unlikely, but entirely possible.

They wandered around, finding an arcade that Yoosung pretty much fell in love with. He got the high score on half the games before Saeran dragged him away to look at other things to do, so that Yoosung wouldn’t see how he had topped his scores.

A bowling alley was situated fairly prominently, clearly a big attraction for the place. Saeran nodded his head at it. It’d be fun to stop in, once the four of them were grouped up again. Father along, they got to an art studio.

“This looks like fun! Saeran, come on!” Yoosung said, dragging Saeran inside.

“Are you sure?” Saeran asked. He knew that he enjoyed art, but he wasn’t sure how Yoosung would be with making some.

“Yeah! After seeing that picture you made of me, I want to see how you made it. Well, not that exact picture, but I want to watch you draw, you know?” Yoosung sat down at a table, then paused a moment. “That sounded kind of weird.”

“A little, yeah, but I don’t mind you watching me. Here, take this paper and a pencil...” Saeran started drawing, showing Yoosung the strokes and helping him with technique. At some point, Yoosung had gotten a picture into his mind, asking Saeran for help with it. Saeran leaned over him, guiding Yoosung’s hand lightly with his own, letting him take the reins on the drawing. It came out well, for what was essentially a first attempt.

“Gah, I feel like such a failure! This didn’t come out how I wanted it to...”

“They rarely do. I edited and redrew that picture I gave you a hundred times, and it’s still not where I want it.”

“Really?”

“Really. It takes practice.”

“Got it! Then I should keep practicing.” Yoosung was fired up. Saeran laughed, sitting down next to him.

“We can practice together,” he said. Yoosung nodded, picking up his pencil again. They got to drawing, sitting there for hours.

“Found you!” Saeyoung said, strutting into the art room. “I figured that you two would end up in here.” Miyoung showed up soon after, and took another picture.

“Will you stop with the pictures?” Saeran asked.

“Sure! Once you two stop being so cute together~”

“I doubt that that’ll happen, love.”

“That’s a good point. Then the pictures won’t be stopping.” She took another one.

“Oh my god.” Saeran facepalmed. Yoosung grabbed their pictures, dragging Saeran away.

“Come on, there’s plenty more to do around here,” he said. “Like that bowling alley from earlier. Let’s drop these off in our room, and then we can go see what else there is to do.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Mind if we come with?” Miyoung asked.

“Not at all! Come on!” The four of them headed to the bowling alley, finding an open lane. They got their shoes, then Saeyoung went to get them some food. Yoosung decided to bowl first.

“Alright, here we go,” he said, lining up the shot. Saeran watched him, silently cheering him on.

It was a gutter ball. Yoosung returned to his seat in defeat as Miyoung plugged the points in.

“It’s all about controlling the wrist. You have to keep it straight as you release the ball. Like this,” Saeran said, getting up. Yoosung paid close attention as Saeran grabbed a ball. He lined up the shot, keeping his wrist straight as the ball left his hand. It rolled fast down the lane, hitting seven pins.

“Nice!” Yoosung cheered. The second ball went down to collect the spare points, and Saeran got another two pins. Miyoung put his points in, then grabbed a ball. Saeyoung returned just in time to watch her send her ball down the lane.

“Go Miyoung! Oh, you got nine points, Saeran?”

“Yeah, only missed one pin.”

“Well done. Now watch how it’s done.” Saeyoung moved onto the lane after Miyoung casually got a strike, and picked up a ball. He rolled the ball, getting eight pins in one hit. Then the second ball got one pin.

“Good work,” Saeran said, as Yoosung went up. He watched as Yoosung bowled beautifully, keeping his wrist straight. He got five pins, and then three.

At the end of ten rounds, the game was over. Miyoung was apparently a bowling master, with perfect strikes the whole way. Saeran pulled ahead of Saeyoung by one point, and Yoosung got almost two hundred himself.

“You did great, Yoosung!” Saeran said.

“You did better than I did. You’re really good.”

“I’m not going to lose next time,” Saeyoung said.

“I’ll win the time after.”

“Then let’s make it a competition! Bowling every night, and the best bowler gets… a prize!”

“What’s the prize?” Miyoung asked. Saeyoung paused.

“I don’t know yet. But it’ll be something awesome!” They headed to one of the restaurants for dinner. One of the dessert specials of the week was really expensive, and Saeran saw his brother’s eyes light up. He rolled his eyes, but the dish did look good.

“The prize is… the losers will pay for this dish for the winner!” Called it. Yoosung read the ingredients list, his mouth watering at what was included. Saeran could tell that it was going to be delicious. He had to beat Saeyoung and get that prize, if only for Yoosung.

They ate dinner, talking about the resort, what they’d done that day, and, as dessert came out, they talked about their competition that Saeyoung had kind of dragged them into. When the meal was finished, they ambled back to their rooms, chatting the whole way. Saeran had to admit, it was pretty nice to spend this time with his brother and sister-in-law.

 

The next day, Saeyoung decided to kidnap Yoosung and drag him away for fun best friend stuff. That left Saeran and Miyoung with each other.

“It’s been awhile since we’ve hung out together without Saeyoung, huh?” Miyoung said, wandering aimlessly around.

“Yeah, it has. The last time was… before the ice cream shop closed. That was about the time that I met Yoosung, I think.”

“Yep! It was right around then. That’s part of how I noticed that you and he were getting so close. We stopped hanging out, and you started hanging out with him more.”

“I’m sorry. I should have paid more attention to you.”

“It’s fine! Honestly, Saeyoung wanted some time to be with Yoosung, so that he could hang out with his best friend, and I wanted a chance to talk with you again.”

“So this trip really is him wanting to keep up his relationship with Yoosung, then. And you get to benefit from this, as well?”

“Yeah! I hope that’s okay.”

“It’s great. I love Yoosung, and hanging out with him, but it’ll be better for both of us to hang out with other people every once in awhile. You know, I don’t actually have any friends outside of our mutual friends.”

“Really? You should go and meet people! I can guarantee that he would agree.”

“I should. But who am I supposed to meet?”

“I don’t know, but someone will show up. You put in an application at a store, right?”

“Yeah, there’s a flower shop outside the hospital that I applied at. The colors are pretty. I think… I think I’d rather just work there for the rest of my life than anything to do with computers.”

“Are you thinking of switching your major?”

“I am, yeah. I was thinking of changing to an art major.”

“An art major? You’d be good in that field. Go for it.”

“You think I should?”

“Absolutely! And if Saeyoung says anything against it, I’ll get him to change his mind,” Miyoung said, winking. Saeran smiled.

“Thank you, Miyoung. You’re a good sister, I think.”

“Only the best for my boys.”

“That makes you sound like a mother.”

“Don’t tell Saeyoung, yet. I want it to be a surprise.” Saeran stopped and stared at Miyoung. “I’m going to tell him when I win the bowling competition.”

“I’ll try to help you win… is what I would say, if you were a normal human. But considering last night, there’s no way I’d be of any help.” Miyoung laughed. The two of them ended up at the spa, walking in and enjoying the day.

When they met up with Saeyoung and Yoosung later, Saeran found out that they had gone to an on-site amusement park and ridden the roller coaster ten times. Yoosung looked sick, so Saeran took him back to their room before dinner. He considered telling Yoosung about Miyoung, but decided against it. It was her news to share, after all.

 

The end of the week came, with another five nights of bowling. The four of them were gathered in the restaurant as they tallied the total points of the week. As expected, Yoosung came in last.

“Aw, man, I was really hoping for that dessert...”

“I’ll share some with you when I win, Yoosung,” Miyoung said.

“Really? Thank you!”

“How do you know I won’t win, my honey buddha chip?” asked Saeyoung.

“Because you came second to last. See?” Saeyoung looked at the tallies, and sure enough, he had come in almost a hundred points over Yoosung, but still behind Saeran. Miyoung had won.

“That means you’re getting me that delicious dessert.” When the time for dessert came, Miyoung ordered the special while the other three got other items on the menu. Yoosung asked for a crème brulee. Saeran snitched a bit of it, exchanging it with a bite of his cherry pie.

“You’re always stealing my food,” Yoosung said, booping Saeran on the nose. Saeran chuckled.

“Speaking of, I have an announcement for my own little food stealer,” Miyoung said. Saeran held back anything that might give away her news before she had shared it.

“What? I don’t steal your food!”

“I wasn’t talking about you, Saeyoung. I’m pregnant.”

“You’re...” Saeyoung was shocked for a moment, then he was ecstatic. “You’re pregnant! My wife is pregnant!”

Yoosung cheered, tears pricking at his eyes. Saeran looped an arm over his shoulders, pulling him close into a hug. Then they went to hug Miyoung, who was laughing happily.

“To your future child. May it grow strong and healthy.”

“Excuse me, we’d like to give you that dessert for free, to celebrate your pregnancy,” said one of the servers.

“Really? Thank you!”

They went to bed that night, feeling like everything was right with the world. Yoosung crawled into bed after brushing his teeth, Saeran joining him soon after.

“The world keep moving forward, huh? Saeyoung and Miyoung are going to have a baby, and we’re so close we’re fooling people into thinking we’re getting married. I wonder what the next thing to happen is going to be?”

“I’m switching my major to art. I don’t know exactly what I want to focus on, but I want to make art,” Saeran said.

“That fits you really well, Saeran. And you have that job at the flower shop soon, right?”

“Right. I can paint the flower arrangements, too, while I’m working.”

“I’m happy for you!” Yoosung kissed Saeran, snuggling into his neck and planting more kisses there. Saeran tried to ignore how good it made him feel, without much success.

“Are you trying to turn me on?”

“Maybe just a little. I want… I want you, Saeran. I know that you’re not comfortable. I won’t push you into anything,” Yoosung said.

“I know you won’t.” Saeran considered the young man laying next to him. Yoosung was attractive, and Saeran was attracted to him. He had wanted Yoosung for some time now, too, and the room was soundproof, wasn’t it? They hadn’t heard anything from either Saeyoung or Miyoung, regardless of how loud they might have managed to get.

Saeran grinned wolfishly.

“I went to the spa earlier with Miyoung. Got a massage. I could try some of the techniques on you, if you’d like. I won’t be very good, but it should feel nice,” Saeran said. Yoosung smiled, taking his glasses off and laying on his back. Saeran straddled him, pulling his own shirt off, then Yoosung’s. This was going to be good.

He started working his fingers into Yoosung’s skin, gradually getting deeper and deeper. Yoosung groaned beneath him.

“Feels good, yeah?” Saeran asked.

“Yeah, it does,” Yoosung replied.

“Just out of curiosity, did you bring oil?” Yoosung froze underneath him, looking at Saeran with a blush on his face.

“Y-y-y-y-yes?” Saeran leaned forward, his smirk on his face.

“Then let me take care of you tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are moving forward! this story is going to be going off of its week-to-week chronology soon, once saeran gets his job. i cant believe both of my fics are going to be ending soon~ my semester ends in may, and i suspect both of these will be over at that point.
> 
> BUT. do not despair, for i will take one-shot requests if you wish, and i also have plans for another fic in the Magi series.
> 
> comment if you wish :D:D:D


	24. Color in Another Interlude: Zen's Birthday!

When Zen awoke that morning, he was vaguely aware of things feeling different. His arms searched the bed for whatever was wrong, and found that Jaehee was out of place. Had she already gotten up? The alarm clock, set for six, hadn’t gone off yet. If it had, then Zen would have woken up. He opened his eyes to see what time it was. It was 6:15.

What?

Zen sat bolt upright, his loose hair flying over his shoulders as he did so. He shuffled out of bed, fighting with the blanket to get free, and almost ran out of the room. Only a note on the door stopped him, telling him that Jaehee was cooking breakfast for him, and to lie back down. After all, the shop was closed today for the express purpose of his birthday, and he had the day off from work, so neither of them had anywhere to be.

Smiling at his wife’s thoughtfulness, Zen went back to his bed, climbing in and laying back. He folded his hands behind his head, wondering what Jaehee was making for him. She was an excellent cook, much more so than her previous job in Jumin’s company would have allowed. It had to be a natural talent, or maybe she just knew from before she went to college? Zen shrugged. He had asked her, of course, but Jaehee had simply smiled and said she didn’t know, either.

At about 6:30, Jaehee opened the door quietly, poking her head in. Zen sat up to see what she had brought, but the food wasn’t in the room yet.

“Happy birthday, my prince,” she said. She had picked up the nickname from Zen’s habit of calling her ‘princess’. 

“Thank you, princess,” Zen replied. He smiled, and she smiled back, a light blush on her cheeks. It wasn’t as strong as it used to be. Jaehee had gotten used to Zen’s flirting a long time ago. She pushed into the room, bringing a covered tray with her. Zen pouted.

“Why do you have it all covered up?” he asked, sitting up so that she could set the tray down. Jaehee took the cover off, revealing a fluffy stack of pancakes with sugar and syrup on the side, a bowl of rice, fruit slices set decoratively on the plate, and a glass of apple juice.

“This looks delicious!” Zen exclaimed. He picked up a fork and knife on the tray, cutting into the first pancake to see how it tasted. It was good. Then he added syrup and sugar before eating the pancakes in earnest.

“I’m glad you like them,” Jaehee said. She smiled as Zen glugged half the glass of apple juice in one go. He had worked hard the night before, and hadn’t been able to eat a proper meal as a result.

Once he had finished breakfast, Zen looked to Jaehee.

“What’s next on the menu? You?” A sly look came into his eyes. Jaehee found herself entranced by the red as they almost glowed. Zen removed the tray from the bed, setting it on the floor carefully, flexing his back muscles as he did so. He heard a small squeak from Jaehee as he did so.

Jackpot.

 

A couple hours later, Zen and Jaehee were in the shower together, bathing peacefully, too tired to consider doing anything else. They got themselves all cleaned off, then left the bath. Zen dried himself off, wrapping a towel around his waist and going to lock the front door. He went back to the bedroom, pulling out a pair of sweatpants he kept for days when he could just laze around the house. Jaehee pulled on a loose shirt, not bothering with anything more than that. They went to the couch in the living room.

Zen turned on the TV, flipping to Netflix and putting one of their favorite movies on. It wasn’t a musical, but it was still good. Jaehee smiled, laying back against him as the movie started. They felt at ease, that day, like nothing could go wrong.

Lunch time started coming around, and Jaehee got up to make something to eat. Zen followed her, stretching out as he went.

“You don’t have to help. It’s your birthday, after all,” Jaehee said, looking concerned.

“I know, but I want to. You’re always working hard, whether it’s at the cafe, or at home. You don’t get to relax often.”

“I relaxed during the holidays. Besides, I like to work.”

“When you enjoy it. And before you start, I know you love working at the cafe. It’s your dream job. But this is your day off, too. You don’t have to do everything yourself, princess.” Jaehee’s expression softened at Zen’s insistence. They made lunch together, a simple meal to tide them over before everyone went out to dinner to celebrate. Even Yoosung and Saeran were able to come with their busy college schedules.

After lunch, Zen and Jaehee got dressed in comfortable clothing and went out together, to walk around town and spend time together for the first time in months. Even though the shop had been closed for the holiday season, Jaehee had still had to do the books, and that kept her busy until Christmas, when she was finally able to take a break. Then there had been the fiasco with Yoosung and Saeran, and then more work until they took a vacation to go skiing.

This was the first time out that either of them had had that didn’t automatically include other various activities.

“So, where should we go first?” Zen asked, as they left their home. Jaehee looked around for something to do and see, finally deciding to just go wherever they ended up.

“How about left?”

“That’s awfully vague. Do you have some surprise?”

“No, I just figured that left is a good direction to walk when one is looking around for something to see,” Jaehee said. She took Zen’s hand in her own, leading him along. He smiled. While Zen enjoyed a bit of spontaneity every once in awhile, Jaehee didn’t do so well with it. However, she had learned that he loved adventures that came from nowhere.

One time, she had tried to secretly plan a surprise outing, but she had been found out. Zen forgave her, and they had a good time, but Jaehee figured that it was better simply to see what might happen. Besides, Zen also loved spending time with her, regardless of what happened.

“Did you enjoy your last performance? Mingkook didn’t get in the way this time, I hope?” Jaehee asked.

“Yes, I did. I’m sure you saw, but my energy was way up. I hate to say it, but Ming’s getting fired was probably the best thing to happen to that play.”

“She got fired?”

“Yeah. The director finally had enough of her not putting her all into what she did, so he fired her. Then her understudy took her place, and she’s much more pleasant to work with. Hasn’t found her soulmate,” Zen said. He tugged a bit on his ponytail. Jaehee looked over at him.

“Maybe I should meet her, sometime. Anyone you like is sure to be a nice person to have as a friend.”

“I’ll bring her around the shop sometime,” Zen said. He squeezed Jaehee’s hand, then saw a sign leading into a restaurant that was giving out free samples to customers of any one dish. He pointed to it.

“Check it out, a sample day. How great is that, that it’s on my birthday?”

“I think it might be a scam of some sort. It is April Fool’s Day, after all.”

“Right. I always forget about that. Should we go hiking in the mountains for a bit? I feel like walking calmly with you.”

“That sounds wonderful. We can take a bus. There’s one that runs not too far from here. It leads right to the mountain paths.” They headed to the bus stop, and waited for one to arrive. When it did, they climbed on, paying the fare.

“It’ll be some time before we get there,” Zen said. He wrapped an arm around Jaehee’s shoulder, holding her snugly. She fell into him, looking lazily around the bus at the other passengers. Her eyes lighted on Yoosung, who hadn’t seen her. He looked around him, as well, meeting her gaze. His eyes widened, and he quickly made a cutting motion in front of his neck, signaling Jaehee not to say anything. She looked away.

“I’m glad we put good boots on,” Jaehee said. “It’s going to be some distance to walk, in order to work up an appetite for dinner. I’m sure it’ll be really tasty.”

“If Yoosung is cooking, definitely. He’s better than I would have guessed, considering his track record in school.”

“He’s been improving a lot.”

“That he has. I guess I can’t rib him anymore for his poor grades. I’m glad, though. It’s about time he started thinking of his future.”

“Indeed.” Jaehee stared out the window opposite her, then a thought struck her. “Do you ever wonder what your life would be like, if you hadn’t met me?”

“Hm? Well…” Zen thought for awhile. Jaehee did the same. “I guess I would be working as much on my career as always, but if I hadn’t met you… I don’t think I would have agreed to that commercial from years ago.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It wasn’t my cup of tea, but the director had been excited, so I figured that I would do it for his sake. Even so, when I met with the people in charge of the commercial, I found that I didn’t want to do the work. Then I was introduced to Jumin, and I had almost decided against it completely. He introduced me to you… and that was that. I agreed in the hopes that I would get to meet you again, but I didn’t.” Zen chuckled as he said, “I had to track you down at work.”

“I remember you appearing after filming had wrapped up. I was so startled the first time to meet you, that I had to slap myself a couple times when I heard your voice asking around the office for me. Jumin was a bit confused, to be sure. He thought it was great that I finally had some friends. Then he told me not to let it distract me from my work. Not only did that warning fail, I quit.” The two of them laughed. It was a long running joke between Jaehee and Jumin, now, that if he tried to tell her to stay away from her soulmate, she would quit.

They always laughed about it. Jumin had to agree, though, that despite the obvious hit to him and the company, Jaehee was better off with Zen.

The bus stopped in front of the mountains. It was still really cold, as to be expected. Korea got hit by Siberian winds, after all, causing it to freeze in the winter. Jaehee and Zen walked along the paths, shoveled out of all of their snow, enjoying each others’ company.

“You know… I’ve always hated that my birthday shares the day with April Fool’s Day. That was a day I never skipped in school, because things got interesting, and at least my classmates were willing to celebrate it, but at home…” Zen trailed off. Jaehee nudged him gently.

“I understand,” she said.

“Gahhh, it sucks feeling like you’re a joke!” He jumped around a bit in frustration, kicking a remaining snowbank.

“At least your birthday didn’t get skipped because it was so close to Christmas,” Jaehee said, in an attempt to make Zen feel better. She smiled, but Zen just looked at her with that worried look she was so well acquainted with.

“Now I feel like a selfish idiot. You suffered just as much as I did, and here I am, spouting off like the center of the universe.”

“I’ll spout on my birthday. Keep going, I think this is doing you good.” Zen breathed deeply, then yelled into the air.

“I hate this day!” He kicked another snowbank, then took a deep breath, calming himself down. “It’s definitely gotten better since I’ve met you.” Zen reached for Jaehee’s hand, which she gave him gladly.

“Can you believe that Miyoung is pregnant?” Zen asked.

“I know, it hardly seems real. There are going to be more little Chois, then. At least one for now, and then later, who knows? Maybe they’ll have three kids.”

“Three more Chois?” Zen ran his hand through his hair, pulling his face down. “As long as they’re not like their father, I think I can handle them fine.”

“Agreed. I don’t want to babysit them, but the shop closes in the evening, about the time that couples like to go out for the evening,” Jaehee said.

“Do you ever feel like having a kid of our own? I want to have at least one, but if you don’t...” Zen looked over at Jaehee, then, unsure if she wanted kids. They had been so busy with each other and their jobs that they hadn’t had a lot of time to consider the future.

“Sometimes. It usually passes. Though, I fear that Miyoung being pregnant now may make me want a child of my own. When would I raise it? I’m always busy with the coffee shop, and I can’t just take time off.”

“We can hire someone to watch the shop. Maybe, if we aim it just right, we can get Yoosung to look after it during the summer months.” Jaehee laughed.

“That could work. We should ask him.”

They continued along the mountain path, until they reached the top of a hill. Looking out over the view, Zen was reminded of his favorite place to go when he was stressed, in another area of mountains.

“We should go to our spot, once the weather gets a bit warmer,” Zen said.

“We should,” Jaehee agreed.

The walk back was quicker than the walk up. They got on the bus when it came back, taking it back to their apartment, where they would be meeting with the others, since it was about time. None of their friends were on the bus this time around, which Jaehee was fine with. It had been a bit strange seeing Yoosung, but pleasant, and considering his secretive nature this time around, she was glad that Zen hadn’t seen him. Or maybe he had.

“Here we are,” Zen said, when the bus reached their stop. They got off, walking up to their apartment. It had been decided that the party for Zen’s birthday, which was a bit of a surprise, would be in their home. Zen thought that they were going to be getting changed.

The lights were off when they entered, and Jaehee got her coat off as Zen flicked on the lights. As soon as he did so, their friends jumped out.

“Surprise!” they shouted in unison. Yoosung was holding a dish of Zen’s favorite food, lamb kebab. Zen almost screeched with delight.

“April Fool’s. We’re not going out to dinner. You’ll be enjoying it at home, with your family.”

“I think I can actually enjoy it this year, too,” Zen said, sniffling. He wiped tears from his eyes, then approached the others. Saeyoung reached up to ruffle his hair.

“Congratulations on getting old!” he said.

“Saeyoung, he’s not old,” Miyoung said. “He’s ancient!”

“You know, you were much cooler before you started dating him,” Zen said, smiling. He hugged Miyoung. “I’m glad you two came. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“I’m glad you still like us.”

“Zen! Smile!” V said, holding up a camera. He never had to try to aim with Zen, a proven fact as the others gave way to the camera lens, and Zen posed beautifully.

“Ready,” he said, smiling. V snapped the photo, then held it out for the others to see. He still couldn’t, himself. Though, as V smiled wryly to himself, that was a fact that was about to change, in a couple weeks.

“Perfect, as usual,” Jumin said. Zen started at the compliment.

“Jumin, you-- achoo! You need to lintroll yourself better,” Zen said. V chuckled.

“The guards and I did the best we could, but it was no use. Jumin is permanently cat hair central,” V said. Jumin was banished to the corner, away from Zen, so that he didn’t cause the birthday boy to sneeze uncontrollably.

“Are you ready for dinner?” Yoosung asked.

“Yes, we are. We’ve been walking in the mountains all day!” The group sat down at the table. Zen and Jaehee sat next to each other, with Miyoung on Jaehee’s side, the twins next to her with Jumin between them, and then Yoosung. V sat next to Zen.

“This is going to be delicious! Is that beer?”

“I had it imported just for this day,” Jumin said. “It’s supposed to be a good one, from Germany. I described your preferred tastes to a brewer, and he sent me a keg of his finest.”

“That’s really nice. Thank you, Jumin. To another good year,” Zen said, toasting. Everyone held up their glasses, and drank them.

Saeran poured some soda into Yoosung’s glass after he was finished with his beer.

“Aw, come on. I want to drink more,” Yoosung said.

“No way. You know how you get when you’re drunk,” replied Saeran quietly. He poured some soda into his own glass, and drank it down. Everyone enjoyed the numerous dishes, with Zen finishing off about a dozen of the lamb kebabs that Yoosung had grilled. He patted his stomach, happy for the treat.

“How did you get these to taste so good?” he asked.

“Well, I remembered you mentioning that you liked lamb kebabs, and then I also remembered that one of your friends from years ago ran a lamb kebab shop. I asked him how he made them, so I could make some for your birthday, and you know? He told me how to cook them, and then said that he would put some aside for me to pick up today, so that I could grill them for you.”

“I should thank him tomorrow, then,” Zen said, taking a swig of beer. It was good stuff. He wished he could have it more often, but that would mean asking Jumin, and that wasn’t something he really wanted to do.

As the night wore on, and several of the members got drunker, Saeran forgot to restrict Yoosung’s drinking. Yoosung ended up being a blubbering mess in the corner as Saeran tried --- and failed --- to keep him from wailing.

“I’m going to take him home,” Saeran said, dragging Yoosung away.

“Good idea,” Zen said, laughing to himself. Yoosung was so cute.

“Poor kid still can’t hold his drinks well, can he?” V asked.

“Not really,” Miyoung said. They watched as Saeran tried to pull Yoosung out the door, but Yoosung was clinging hard.

“Does his hair look… longer?” Saeyoung asked.

“And darker? Maybe he’s growing it out,” Jaehee said.

“Well, if that’s the case, then his natural color should come back around fall, or my data of how often he buys bleach is completely wrong!” Everyone stared at Saeyoung as he said that.

“Saeyoung,” V said.

“Yes~?”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have told you to keep such a close eye on everyone for me.”

“Aww. But you asked me to do this so that you could always know that they’re safe. How can we be sure that the lack of bleach on Yoosung’s skull won’t do something horrible?”

“I should be able to figure that out for myself, soon. Thank you, though,” said V.

“Is that so? Wait, for yourself? V, you don’t mean,” Zen murmured. The thought was almost too good to be true. V nodded.

“In two weeks, I’m going to go in for surgery. I’ve already been approved for it. In about a month, I should be able to see just fine.” Jumin rested a hand on V’s shoulder.

“It’s too bad that those two left so soon, then. Yoosung and Saeran noticed a definite change in how they see, when Yoosung’s eye stopped working,” Miyoung said.

“That’s right. Yoosung told me when we were spending time together,” Saeyoung added on. “He said that Saeran can’t see quite as well, now.”

“It makes sense. I can’t see as well as I could before V was blinded,” Jumin said, then turned to V. “I’m sorry I hadn’t told you before.”

“No, it’s fine,” V said.

“That also explains how my own vision improved. As it turns out, Zen has very strong eyesight,” Jaehee said.

“Mine got worse. I guess it meets in the middle?”

“This is something to be investigated! … At a later date. For now, we’re here for Zen,” Saeyoung said. He jumped up, running into the kitchen, then came back out a few minutes later with a cake aglow with twenty five candles.

“Happy birthday! Make a wish!” Saeyoung set the cake down in front of Zen. 

“Wait! We have to sing first!” The group sang ‘happy birthday’ to Zen, then clapped as he leaned forward. Zen wished for Jaehee to always be happy, no matter what happened to him, then blew out the candles.

For a second.

They relit.

Saeyoung started snickering as the candles came back, and Zen stared at them. He had been pranked on pranking day by the master of all pranks. Of course. Zen figured he could humor Saeyoung a little bit, and blew the candles out a couple more times, leaving Saeyoung rolling on the floor. Finally, Zen pulled the candles out, putting them in a glass of water.

He thought it was water. As it turned out, someone had gotten their hands on some vodka, and now there was a flaming glass sitting on the table.

“What the--” Zen grabbed the glass, running to the kitchen. He wasn’t sure what to do, so he just put it in the sink, and hoped that it wouldn’t set anything on fire. Jaehee looked at the glass, unsure of what to do, herself. Pretty soon, everyone was gathered around the sink, watching the glow of the fire as it consumed the vodka.

“Who brought that, anyway?”

“I thought it would be inappropriate and obvious if I brought wine to drink, so I opted for vodka,” Jumin said. Zen burst out laughing. Of course it was Jumin. He leaned over the sink, making sure his ponytail didn’t touch the flames.

“Zen? Are you alright?” Miyoung asked. Jaehee had spent plenty of time around Zen, and knew that he was doing just fine.

“I’m better than alright. This is the best birthday I’ve ever had. Thank you, all of you. Especially you two, as weird as I feel saying it,” Zen said, pointing to Jumin and Saeyoung. He turned to the glass, then asked V for his camera. After taking a professional looking photo of the glass, Zen pulled out his phone, snapping a selfie with it, and posted it to the group chat.

 

Saeran felt his phone go off. He opened an app that he hadn’t opened in awhile. With Yoosung sleeping, it wasn’t like he had much else to do. Scrolling through a ton of messages he didn’t really care about, Saeran found the latest addition. It was a picture of Zen, and a glass that was on fire.

What?

Relighting candles and a  
bottle of vodka 

He snickered. Of course. Saeyoung had to be the one to bring in the candles. No one else would, even on this day. Petting Yoosung absently, Saeran figured he would post in the group chat, so that he could still kind of be part of the party.

The thought made him pause for a moment. He wanted to be part of the party. More than that, he honestly enjoyed their company. Saeran sent a message saying as much, and got a bunch of happy messages. Then he was filled in on V getting surgery, and sent a smiley face back.

 

After everyone had left, Zen was snuggled up on the couch with Jaehee, exhausted from the day’s events. He rubbed his hand up and down her arm as they watched one of his old musicals. It had always surprised him that she was such a huge fan of his, considering her usual demeanor, but he had grown to accept that she was, and that her fangirling was just as hard as any other fan’s.

Probably even more so, all things considered. He really was lucky to be with such a good person.

“I love you,” he whispered in her ear.

“I love you, too,” she whispered back. They kissed tenderly, and, once the musical was finished, Zen carried Jaehee back to their room to sleep. He was too tired for anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be up awhile ago lolol. happy birthday, zen!
> 
> comment if you wish :D:D:D


	25. Color in a Painted Wall

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Jumin asked, as he went with V down to the ground floor of his building. They stepped onto the elevator once it came up.

“I’m sure. Besides, this is just a preliminary checkup. There’s no need to worry, Jumin. I’ll be fine,” V said, holding Jumin’s hand. “Besides, with this, your vision should improve, too.”

“I know, it’s just...” Jumin sighed, trying to find the words to express what he wanted to say.

“There’s a risk with this, but we both know that it’d be better for us if I do this.” The doors opened at the ground floor, and they stepped out. V tapped his cane in front of him.

“Well, if anything else good comes of this, I won’t have to try to dodge your cane as we walk together,” Jumin said, smiling wryly. V laughed.

“Yeah, that’s true. Though, I won’t be able to drub Saeyoung anymore when he tries to break in.”

As he opened the building’s front door, Jumin hailed Driver Kim, who brought the van closer to them. V made his way alone for some distance before Jumin caught up to him again. It was always a bit alarming, but V was good at taking care of himself, and Jumin knew that if he tried to coddle the blind man as much as he wanted, it would make V uncomfortable, or worse, unhappy.

V knew that the van was nearby, and flicked his cane upwards to find it. Once he did, he felt the air until he reached the door, then sought out the handle. Jumin let him do so, waiting patiently on the side. The door opened, and V climbed in, getting himself situated, and buckling up with the practice of almost thirty years of riding in cars.

“Good to see you again, Mr. Kim,” Driver Kim said.

“It’s good to see you, too, Driver Kim.” Jumin suppressed a smile at the banter. He closed the door.

“To the hospital.” The van started off toward what Jumin considered to be an excellent hospital. It was the place where Doctor Lee practiced, and considering the reviews of other people, he was very effective.

They arrived at the hospital soon after. Jumin got V checked in for his appointment, but he had to wait for V to be done. He sat nervously, hoping that everything would go well, though he tried not to show it too much.

As Jumin continued to sit through V’s appointment, he started bouncing his leg. He pulled out his phone, opening the little kitty collector app that Saeyoung had recommended him. It was entertaining, to say the least, but it wasn’t really helping at this particular moment. He tried to think of what else he could do to ease his worry.

He called Saeran. He wasn’t sure what possessed him to do it, but his fingers had found Saeran’s name on his contact list, and then they called him.

“Jumin? Is something wrong?” Saeran asked.

“Ah. That’s an excellent question. I don’t actually know why I called you. It was just… automatic.”

“Automatic. Right. Well, if you didn’t call for any specific reason, then there’s no real reason to continue. See you.”

“Wait,” Jumin said. “Jihyun is talking with the doctor right now about the surgery next week, getting things checked one last time before proceeding. I don’t know why, but it’s… difficult to deal with, this time.”

“You want me to come to you? I don’t do well in hospitals, generally, but you sound like you need help,” Saeran said.

“There’s no need to trouble yourself. Do you have any recommendations on how to deal with this?”

“I don’t know. Find something to fidget with? Whenever I feel like you probably do right now, I freeze up until it’s over. Is there anything else?”

“No, that’s all. Thank you for your advice,” Jumin said. He hung up, then put his phone back in his pocket just as a small child showed him a drawing.

“Look!” the kid said happily. It was apparent that she was proud of the drawing, though it was little more than scribbles.

“It’s very nice,” Jumin said. “Very artistic.” The kid smiled, then ran back to her mother, who mouthed a ‘thank you’ toward him. Jumin shrugged, and smiled back. Then the kid returned to him.

“My name is Mina. Would you like to draw with me?” Jumin thought for a moment. He did need something to help him with this predicament. Drawing might just do the trick.

“Alright.” He found himself led by the hand as Mina dragged him over to where she had paper and crayons on the floor. She handed one to Jumin, and took one herself, humming to herself as she made scribbles again. Jumin sat down next to her, settling a page in front of him, and looked at her mother. She was watching them both closely, but there didn’t seem to be any malice in her eyes.

The crayon was green. Jumin wanted to draw a cat, specifically Elizabeth the 3rd. He wasn’t sure how to go about it, then decided to create her from negative space. He drew an outline of her, then colored in the paper around her beautiful feline figure.

It was shit. He had to admit, he was not good at art. However, getting frustrated would only make things worse. Besides, the little girl next to him was watching him and what he was doing. She flipped her paper over, and started a new picture.

“I’m drawing a flower!” she declared.

“It’ll look pretty,” Jumin said, toning down his usual charm. He didn’t want to scare Mina’s mother, after all. She smiled. Jumin smiled back, looking at the paper he had turned mostly green. He grabbed the blue crayon, and colored in Elizabeth’s eyes. Then he used grey to give her more depth, like V had told him. Shading made things pop.

“Wow, you’re so good!” Mina said. She stopped her own drawing to watch Jumin for awhile. Then she grabbed another crayon and started coloring over her flower, trying to add shading like Jumin.

“Well done,” he said, praising her.

“Mommy, look! Isn’t it pretty?”

“Why, yes it is. Where did you learn that?” her mother asked, glancing at Jumin. He held up the picture of Elizabeth.

“What a pretty cat,” she said.

“She’s the most beautiful cat I’ve ever seen.” He cut himself off before talking more about Elizabeth. After all, they didn’t need to know the details.

“Pretty kitty?” Mina asked.

“That’s right.” Jumin cocked his head to the side, watching Mina as she scrunched up her face.

“Can I have that picture?” she asked finally. Jumin had to think. He really wanted to keep this picture. Of course, it wasn’t perfect, and he could always make another, right?

“Certainly. Here,” he said, handing the drawing to her. Mina squealed happily, then tucked the picture carefully into her mother’s purse.

“Jumin?” V asked. Jumin looked up, dropping the crayon. He stood, walked over to V, and then they left the office.

“I hope this wasn’t too much trouble for you,” V said.

“No trouble at all.”

 

Saeran looked around. The day was warm enough that he didn’t need anything to keep him warm, though he was still dressed in a long-sleeved shirt. He still had problems with the tattoo on his arm. Yoosung had seen it several times now, most recently that night they spent reveling in each other.

Clouds were floating along overhead, big and fluffy. There wouldn’t be any rain for awhile. That was okay. He was meeting Yoosung today at a park. Even though it was a school day, and they had spent the whole day inside in class, Yoosung had still wanted to celebrate the beginning of spring with him.

He hurried to their meeting spot, hoping that he made it in time. Yoosung said he was making dinner for both of them, since it was after four, at this point. There was no way Saeran was going to let himself miss Yoosung’s cooking. That shit was delicious.

When Saeran arrived at the park, he saw that one of the benches had already been laid out with a tablecloth. Yoosung had his back to Saeran, setting out two places, and getting food out. Saeran approached quietly, freezing for a split second when Yoosung jumped. Had he heard him? Then Yoosung looked up at the clouds, searching them almost frantically, pulling out his phone. He took a picture of the sky overhead, then tapped at his phone. Saeran’s phone buzzed a moment later. Looking at the picture, he saw a cloud in the middle. Another text came along a moment later, saying that it was a flower. Saeran looked at the cloud. It was so not a flower.

“That’s not a flower, that’s a broom head,” Saeran said. Yoosung screeched.

“Saeran, you’re here!”

“Do I really scare you that much?”

“I just get jumpy when people appear suddenly,” Yoosung said. “I’m glad you made it. I have everything all set for us! See?” Saeran did see. There was a little candle lit in the center of the table, and two glasses with a bottle of apple juice to the side. He had even brought ceramic plates and actual silverware.

“This looks amazing. You really pull out all the stops for romance,” Saeran said, giving Yoosung a kiss. Yoosung smiled, a light blush on his face.

“Only for you, Saeran,” Yoosung replied. Saeran never quite knew how to react when Yoosung said things like that. He settled for a tight hug, then he pushed his boyfriend onto the picnic table bench.

“Time to eat, yeah?” he asked. Yoosung nodded, turning around to face the table itself. Saeran sat across from him as Yoosung sliced up a loaf of bread. He handed half the bread to Saeran, then opened a thermos and poured soup into two bowls. Saeran wondered how much Yoosung had brought.

“First course,” Yoosung said, grinning. Apparently it was enough for numbered courses. Saeran tore a piece of the bread off, dipping it into the soup. Yoosung dunked the entire slice in, taking a bite as it slowly lost structural integrity.

“I made the loaf myself. It might not be great, but it is pretty tasty, huh?”

“Yeah, it is. You’re a really good cook, Yoosung.”

“Th-that may be, but I still have a lot to learn. I’ll get really good, though! If I do, then you won’t have to be hungry, anymore.”

“Is that because of the practice dishes, or because you’re going to cook a lot?” Saeran asked. Yoosung laughed.

“Probably both. Oh.” His bread finally lost its integrity, falling back into the soup. “Oops. Guess I should eat this a bit faster.” They ate the bread and soup. It was a good beef stew.

“Love this stew,” Saeran said between bites. He had run out of bread, and there was still more stew. Even the vegetables were tasty, the way Yoosung made it.

“Right? I think this is probably my best dish.” Saeran nodded.

“My favorite.”

“Yeah? Then I should make you some for your birthday. I can try to put something extra special in it that time,” Yoosung said. His mind was already turning with what he could try.

“It’s perfect now,” Saeran said.

“I know, I know.” With the stew gone, too, Yoosung pulled out another container with food in it.

“Sandwiches! Since it’s a picnic, and all.” Yoosung handed Saeran one of the sandwiches. It had a good amount of meat sandwiched –- heh --- between a slice of tomato, lettuce, and some cucumbers.

“This is fairly unfamiliar,” Saeran noted, observing the contents.

“I was looking at different kinds of sandwiches to make, and it said that Americans like this one, so I figured I would try it. I thought it was a bit weird, but if it’s no good, then we can go to my place and I can make something better. Like more stew, maybe.”

“This sandwich tastes disgusting.”

“You have to try it first,” Yoosung whined jokingly. He bit into his, and Saeran followed his lead. It wasn’t half bad. The ratio between ingredients was good, the vegetables were fresh and crisp, and even the tomato was pretty good.

“Alright, this is okay,” Saeran said, taking another bite. Yoosung glowed.

“I’m glad you like it.” With his mouth full of sandwich, Saeran couldn’t really talk much. He kept eating, enjoying the food that Yoosung had so lovingly prepared for him.

“Is there more?” Saeran asked, halfway between hoping the answer was yes, and that it was no. He was full, but the food was good.

“Not here, no. I have some ice cream at home ---” Saeran shot up “--- but we need to get this put away, first,” Yoosung said.

It took about five minutes to get everything packed away, and then Yoosung and Saeran held hands, walking out of the park and back to Yoosung’s little apartment.

“Right, so… I’ve been a bit… nervous to talk about it,” Yoosung said. Saeran turned his eyes toward the blond inquisitively.

“Talk about what?” he asked.

“About… that last night we spent in the resort together… and what we did.” Oh.

“Oh. What about it? Was it bad?” He was bad, wasn’t he? Did Yoosung not like it? He had seemed to.

“No, it wasn’t bad. Actually, it was really good for my first time. Can we… can we do it again? When we get back to my place? Uh, we don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

“I want to.” It had felt good for Saeran, too.

“That’s good.” They made it back to Yoosung’s apartment. With their plans for the night, Saeran could hardly keep an ordinary pace. He didn’t want people on the street to have an idea of what they were going to be doing. Yoosung seemed to be having a hard time, too, practically skipping back.

They made it home, and Yoosung ducked into the kitchen while Saeran went to his bed. He pressed his hands against the mattress, estimating the size to what they were about to do, opened the drawers in Yoosung’s nightstand, found lube and a condom… and a collar.

Nice.

Yoosung returned soon after with two bowls of ice cream. He handed one to Saeran, and they ate their dessert in comfortable silence. Saeran grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, flipping it to a random channel. He had a plan, but it wasn’t time to act it just yet. He still had some ice cream to eat, after all. As the TV droned in the background, Yoosung told him about the latest conquest his elite group had had in a new dungeon that was recently released. Theirs was the first South Korean guild to complete it.

When the ice cream ran out from their bowls, aside from a single spoonful left with Saeran, he flipped the TV to that one channel that Yoosung secretly watched.

“Trying to get me in the mood so quickly?” Yoosung asked.

“Yep,” Saeran replied, reaching for the collar. He set his ice cream down for a moment to get it around Yoosung’s neck, and pulled his shirt off. Then, he took the last spoonful, offering to Yoosung. Yoosung looked at him, then the spoon, his eyes going hazy with lust. He sucked the ice cream off the spoon.

“Good boy, Yoosung,” Saeran said. Yoosung barked.

 

Saeran headed home, a blissful and tired Yoosung laying back on his bed. The collar was back in its drawer, and everything had been cleaned up. He left the apartment after giving his boyfriend a chaste good-bye kiss, and ran into Mr. Seong outside.

“Hello, Mr. Seong. How are you?” Saeran asked. He’d become accustomed to the man’s presence, with all the times he had come to visit Yoosung.

“I’m well. I’d ask how you are, but I think I already know the answer,” Mr. Seong said.

“What?”

“The walls aren’t soundproof, sadly. I don’t mind, but I’d try to keep it quiet next time.”

“Oh. Oh my god. I am so sorry. We’ll definitely be quieter, next time.” Mr. Seong chuckled.

“It’s quite alright. My wife and I almost got kicked out of our first apartment for the same problem.”

“Holy shit, seriously?”

“Yep! Have fun while you’re young.” Mr. Seong went off to the elevator going down. Saeran took the stairs. He burst into the front lobby, running out the door and down the street until he reached the bus stop. Paying the fare once the bus arrived, Saeran tried to catch his breath and sort himself out.

Mr. Seong had heard him and Yoosung having sex. Mr. Seong had also had sex --- Saeran didn’t know why that was such a surprise. Mr. Seong had had very loud sex when he was young.

Saeran managed to keep himself from screaming the whole way home. As soon as he made it inside, he bolted straight for his room, threw himself on his bed, and screamed into a pillow.

“Saeran? Are you alright?” Miyoung asked, poking her head into his room.

“Peachy,” he replied. “You ever learn something about someone you never wanted to know?”

“Did you learn something upsetting about Yoosung?”

“No, not about him. His next door neighbor. Freaked me out.”

“I see. Do you need anything?” Saeran thought for a moment, but aside from the obvious point that he was working through, he really didn’t need anything.

“Just a moment alone.”

“Alright. You know where to find me.”

“Yep.” Miyoung left him alone, and Saeran laid back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. It was fairly bland. He pulled out his phone and looked at the picture that Yoosung had sent him. The sky was such a nice blue, and the clouds were so fluffy.

That was it. Saeran wanted his room to look like the sky. He sent a text to Yoosung.

If you want to help me  
with a project, im  
painting my room this  
weekend   
like the sky 

sounds good!

Saeran smiled. This was good.

 

The weekend came, and with it came Yoosung, bearing gifts of properly colored paints, in various blues and whites. He also had paintbrushes and rollers, and some clothes he didn’t mind getting dirty.

“Where do we start?” he asked, excited.

“I’ve already got my furniture covered up in the middle of the room. We just need to throw some sheets or something on the floor to cover it so it doesn’t get splattered. Here, unfold this and get it laid out,” Saeran said, handing Yoosung a sheet. They covered the floor, making sure it was all covered properly.

“Alright, here we go!” Yoosung said, pumping his fist.

“Yeah!” Saeran filled a roller container with blue paint, and remarked idly that it looked like an ink stone. Yoosung agreed, then covered a roller and put the first streak on the wall. Soon, both of them were painting along, going in opposite directions to cover the entire room.

It took several hours, but the sky was painted and dry. Now it just needed clouds. Saeran broke out a couple cans of green paint, going at the bottom of the walls with it to make grass. He wanted to look at the clouds, not be totally in them. Yoosung had a sponge, on Saeran’s recommendation, and was dabbing white onto the blue to make the fluff. He made a few generically cloud-shaped clouds, then decided to have some fun, dabbing the paint in different shapes in various places, interspersed with other, more normal looking clouds.

There was a dog, and a cat, the flower from their picnic dinner that may also have been a broom head, and several other natural objects that he could think of.

“What are you up to?” Saeran asked, smirking. He had a feeling he already knew. Yoosung pointed to the flower.

“It’s the flower from our picnic date,” he said.

“Broom head.”

“Flower head.”

“Flower crown?” Yoosung gasped. Saeran waited for him to say whatever thought had just popped into his mind.

“If you get a job at the flower shop, then you can make flower crowns!”

“I’d have to learn, first.”

“I can teach you,” Yoosung said. Saeran smiled, took the sponge, and dabbed out a flower crown.

“There. That time we painted my room. Oh, right. Mr. Seong told me that he heard us that night.” Saeran watched as Yoosung’s eyes got wide. He bonked his head on the wall, utterly mortified.

“Are you okay?”

“No. That explains his wife asking me if I was feeling alright the next morning.”

“Oh my god.” Saeran giggled, then it grew into a full-out laugh. Yoosung started laughing with him. He put another cloud on the wall, and Saeran went back to painting the grass. Once they were done, Saeran looked around at the room. It was pretty good.

“Now we just wait for it to dry, and we can move the furniture back to where it should be.”

“Awesome --- hey!” Saeran poked Yoosung’s cheek with his brush. Yoosung swiped at the paint, smearing it across his face and hand. Then he got Saeran with the sponge. The two of them started fighting with their painting supplies, coloring clothes and skin alike. Yoosung threw the sponge at Saeran, who ducked. It fell into one of the roller containers, getting blue all over it. Saeran threw it back at Yoosung, getting him right in the chest.

“Bite me,” Saeran said. Yoosung smirked and threw the sponge back at him, leading him to get his hands in the blue paint.

“Come here, Yoosungie~” he said, getting closer to Yoosung with his painty hands.

“No~” Yoosung cried, running to a different part of the room. He was laughing. Saeran chased him around the room.

“I’m gonna get you!” They ran all around, until Yoosung climbed up on the covered furniture.

“You can’t get me here. You wouldn’t risk getting paint on everything,” Yoosung said. He smiled triumphantly. Saeran paused for a moment, considering the predicament. Then he went over to the hall.

“Hey, Miyoung! Since I’m getting rid of the old color scheme, can I get some new bedding?”

“Sure!” At that, Saeran turned back to Yoosung, who screeched.

“Here’s Johnny~!”

“Oh god.” Saeran jumped up onto the covered furniture, not daring to go too far, in case he fell and hurt himself. Saeyoung would have a cow if he did. Yoosung tried to skirt around him, but Saeran was too quick. He tackled him to the ground, and kept holding on as Yoosung squirmed away.

“Nuh-uh. You’re not getting away from me that easy.”

“No paint! No paint!”

“Paint!” Saeran got blue all over Yoosung’s shirt. “We should get this off of you.” He pulled the shirt off his boyfriend, taking it out to the laundry hamper that was hiding in the bathroom. Then he washed his hands off, getting all the blue off the sink, too. Yoosung was nowhere to be found when Saeran returned.

“Yoosung? Did I scare you off?” He was worried.

“No!” came a muffled reply. The covers over the furniture in the middle moved, and Yoosung popped out, holding one of Saeran’s shirts. He put it on as he came out, shaking his head to reorient. Saeran watched his hair as it flipped back and forth.

“You’re looking sexy as always,” Saeran said. Yoosung blushed, and did his best attempt at a sexy walk. It wasn’t that great. Saeran laughed, and Yoosung started laughing too.

“Is there horseplay going on in here?” Saeyoung asked, opening the door with a BANG. Yoosung yelped. Saeran raised an eyebrow.

“No, but there will be tonight. Loud and long.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yep. Gotta learn something from my older brother, right? Should I ask Miyoung for help, since you’re the one who screams?” Saeyoung left them alone.

“Tonight?” Yoosung asked, wringing the hem of the shirt. It was a black one, with some band’s name in red. Saeran had bought the shirt because the font looked cool, but he had no clue what it said.

“Yeah, if you want. We can get supplies while we’re out getting new bedding.”

“That sounds awesome! Let’s go!”

“Alright. That’ll give the paint time to dry, too. Miyoung! Can we go shopping for that bedding?”

“Sure thing!” He heard scuffling, and Miyoung demanding that Saeyoung come with them.

“Why~” Saeyoung whined.

“Because you have nothing else to do. Now come on. We’re gonna get something tasty while we’re out.” That did it. Saeyoung acquiesced, and the four of them headed out to find some nice fresh bedding that wasn’t going to stay that way for long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theyre so cute together ^^
> 
> comment if you wish, and check out my reblogging prowess @scriberat on tumblr :D


	26. Color in a Surgery

His room was a lot brighter, now. Clouds on the walls, amid the bright blue paint sky, a white blanket on his bed, and none of the grays and drab colors that had decorated his living space before.

Saeran felt happier, in this environment. He looked at Yoosung, curled against his side. It had been a week, now, since they had completely changed up his room. During that time, they’d gotten word from Jumin and V that V was set go into surgery. That was happening tomorrow. Things were looking up, really looking up.

The weather was warmer, and while Saeran hadn’t expected that to affect him, it had. He wanted to go outside more often and enjoy it. Of course, that meant taking his long sleeves off, and that was impermissible. He still hated the tattoo on his arm, the one from his time with Mint Eye.

At the thought of the now dead organization, Saeran shook his head. There was no point in thinking of them, especially not now. They were long in the past. This was his present, curled up here with Yoosung, and hopefully, it would be his future.

“Hey, Yoosung. When’s our six month anniversary?” He had a feeling. Yoosung froze.

“It was about two weeks ago.”

“Then let’s go out tonight. We’ve made it this far, right? We should celebrate.” Saeran’s lips curled up as Yoosung’s face almost split from his happy smile. Then the redhead kissed his boyfriend.

“I love you,” he said.

“Love you, too,” Yoosung replied. Slowly, they got out of bed, making their way to the front door.

“What time is it?” Yoosung asked. He grabbed for his phone, but Saeran was quicker, glancing back at his alarm clock.

“It’s… about four. Bit early for dinner. Should we go see a movie first?”

“That sounds perfect!” Saeran pulled on a wine red sweater, happy with the length as it covered his tattoo. Yoosung, however, frowned at the garment.

“What?”

“What if you get too hot?” Yoosung asked. He plucked at the fabric. It was awfully thick. Concern etched Yoosung’s face as he looked at Saeran. Saeran sighed and smiled at his expression.

“You’re going to get wrinkles if you keep that up,” Saeran said.

“I don’t care. We should get you some better shirts,” Yoosung replied, nodding his head. Saeran knew that he was going to be going shopping --- again. There was a small note in Yoosung’s voice, hard to detect, but it meant that he had made up his mind.

“Alright. Soon, then. Like… this weekend?”

“Sure!” There. That put it off a bit. “Oh! Or we could go today! That’d be fun, right? Getting to see you dressed in all sorts of good-looking shirts would be a real treat.”

“I don’t like shopping,” Saeran muttered.

“We can get ice cream after. A whole tub!”

“You can’t just keep bribing me with ice cream, you know. I’ll get fat, and you’ll get wrinkles from worrying. Then you’ll promise me more ice cream and it’s going to be a vicious cycle.”

“Alright, alright. How about this: we go to get you something to wear that isn’t going to roast you alive, then we can see a movie and go out to dinner after. I’ll pay for it all. I have plenty of money saved up from my job as a barista.”

“That sounds okay,” Saeran said. He took Yoosung’s hand, and they went to the garage, getting into Saeran’s car. He opened the door for Yoosung, who thanked him, then hopped in the other side.

“I’m so excited for this,” Yoosung said, bouncing in his seat a little. Saeran smirked as he looked over. The expression on his face turned to one of anticipatory horror.

“What are you---” Yoosung yelped as Saeran floored it in reverse, then flipped the car around to face the door, speeding onto the street and flying down the road toward the mall. Yoosung braced himself, scared for his life. Finally, Saeran slowed down.

“Sorry. I got a little too excited there, huh?” Saeran asked, breathing deeply.

“Maybe, but you looked like you were having fun.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah! Warn me next time, okay?”

“Okay.” They headed to the mall, since that was the first place on the list of places to go. Inside, Yoosung dragged Saeran to a specific store, far too quickly for a simple shopping trip. They entered the store and made their way into the men’s section, through several layers’ worth of clothing, until they came upon a rack filled with long-sleeved shirts that were marketed as “perfect for summer.”

“I saw these awhile ago, and thought how perfect they would be for you. So, go ahead, pick one out. I can get you more, later,” Yoosung said. Saeran stroked the fabric, feeling how soft it was, and pulled a green shirt off the rack. He held it up to himself. Yoosung stroked his chin, then nodded. Saeran smiled. It looked like it would fit fine, what with it being such a loose shirt. Yoosung bought it for him, and they headed out.

In the parking lot, Saeran pulled his sweater and undershirt off, leaving him shirtless for a moment as he put the new one on, ripping the tag off after. Yoosung’s face was aflame. Saeran smirked, then pushed his boyfriend into the car so they could go to the movies.

The movie theater was pretty empty, what with it not even being five yet. Most people weren’t out and about. Saeran looked at the movies that were showing, trying to figure out if any of them were interesting, and not too much for Yoosung. There was an action romance. He decided that that was just about perfect.

It wasn’t. It was shit. Both of them agreed, but it made for good trash talking as they walked out of the theater.

“My love, I have to go and save the world,” Yoosung said, quoting. He chuckled.

“No, don’t leave me behind. Let the world be destroyed,” Saeran said in a high pitched voice, then added, “because I alone am the most important thing in the world.” They laughed loudly, then Saeran turned to Yoosung.

“Yoosung, if I ever try to get you to sacrifice the world for me, don’t do it.”

“Got it, I won’t. Let’s go out to dinner. It’s seven, now. I’m hungry.” They got into Saeran’s car, the sun still up. He remembered when it hadn’t been. Earth’s tilt was weird.

Saeran drove around until he found a restaurant that they hadn’t been to yet, and pulled in. He looked up at the sign, finding out that it was a hotpot place. That meant that he could roast meat.

“This looks delicious. Did you find this place before?”

“No. I had no idea it was here, to be honest. You want to go inside, or should we find somewhere else to eat?”

“This is fine. I like hotpot.” The two of them entered, and the waitstaff showed them to a table, handing them menus as they sat down. Yoosung scanned through the listed meats, wondering which one he should get. He tried not to pay attention to the prices. After all, he knew he had money to pay for this meal, so there was no need.

Even so, it’s hard to kick a habit borne of not having enough.

Saeran had less of a hard time, since he had been provided for since living with Saeyoung and Miyoung. However, he did notice that the prices were fairly expensive, and tried to find a good-looking meat that was on the cheaper side.

They decided on what they wanted, and when the waitstaff brought the slices of raw meat out to be roasted, both of them could hardly wait for it to roast.

“Oh man, it smells so good!” Yoosung said, salivating. Saeran poked at the meat a little, trying to gauge if it had cooked enough. He had no idea, but, after awhile, Yoosung moved to take a piece off, so Saeran followed his lead.

It was perfect. The juices from the meat coated his tongue delectably, and the meat itself came apart in his mouth.

“This is delicious,” he said. Yoosung grunted in agreement, mouth full of food.

“I’m glad you found this place.” They kept eating, talking more about the movie and how bad it was. Having decided that there was no plot or real direction, they moved onto fully to the characters.

“Jungho was totally unrealistic. I didn’t believe his acting for a second,” Saeran said.

“At least he was better than Echo Girl. I know she can sing, but seriously? Maybe we should just watch one of Zen’s musicals next time.” Saeran suppressed a laugh, trying not to choke on the beef he was eating.

“Sounds good. We could ask him for a recommendation.”

“No! No, no, no, no, no. Last time I asked him for a musical recommendation, he broke into song. Then I asked Jaehee, and she gave me the fangirl spiel.”

“So no asking them. We can pick one at random,” Saeran said.

“Yeah, or we can watch Spicy Jalapeno Topping or whatever it was called.”

“With that whole shirtless scene.”

“Right? You could act it out, too,” Yoosung said. There was a faraway look in his eyes as he thought of something. Saeran stared at him, knowing exactly what he was thinking of.

“Later, then. I’ll show you what I’ve got,” Saeran said suggestively. Yoosung matched him, taking a piece of meat and licking at it before putting it in his mouth.

“Anyway, thank you for the shirt. It feels nice.”

“Any time. Be careful!” Yoosung shouted, just as Saeran dropped some food on his new shirt.

“Fucking---” That was the end of its being new, he supposed.

Once the meal was finished and paid for, it was about nine at night. Saeran had gotten as much of the stain out as he could, but there was still just a tiny bit left. They headed to his house, so that it could soak. Yoosung knew how to soak it, having done so several times.

In the bathroom, Saeran took his shirt off, and looked up the lines from that part of Spicy Jalapeno Topping where Zen’s shirt had been off. He found the entire transcript on a fansite. As Yoosung got the stain out of the shirt, Saeran went to his bedroom.

“I’ll be waiting for you,” he growled, turning to look at Yoosung as he left. Yoosung gulped, then nodded. Saeran got to memorizing the lines. When his boyfriend arrived a couple minutes later, he put his phone away, setting it on its charger, and turned to face Yoosung.

The recitation took about three minutes, and the whole time, Yoosung was visibly getting hotter and hotter. Saeran started smirking, and gestured for Yoosung to join him at the end.

 

It was time, V thought to himself. He stared at himself in the mirror --- well, he tried to. The bathroom sink was beneath his hands, and he knew that, most likely, it had a mirror above it, which would therefore be right in front of him.

Unless people stopped putting mirrors in their bathrooms? He shook the thought out of his head. That was ridiculous. People still used mirrors to shave and stuff, right?

“Jihyun, are you ready?”

“I’m ready. Let’s do this.” They left the building, going to the hospital. Even though they had been preparing for this for weeks, and V had come to terms with what had happened to him, it was still terrifying to think that his eyes were about to be messed with to restore their sight. He regulated his breathing, but that just made Jumin worry more.

“Are you going to be okay?”

“I’ll be fine. We’re doing this today, no backing out,” V said. Jumin nodded.

Arriving at the hospital took less time than anticipated. Jumin wondered why, briefly, but didn’t think about it for too long. V was his number one concern right now, as the aqua haired man walked confidently into the hospital. Staying by his side so that he didn’t run into a wall, Jumin tried to remember how long the doctor had said the surgery would take.

“Hello, I have an appointment with Dr. Lee,” V said. Jumin nodded.

“Jihyun Kim?”

“That’s right.”

“He’s ready for you now. I’ll have someone take you to him.” V felt someone tap his shoulder a moment later.

“Hello, my name is Nurse Seong. I’ll be assisting Dr. Lee today. Please, come with me,” Nurse Seong said.

“Good luck,” Jumin said. V nodded, and they went off down the hallway. It wasn’t hard to get around, at least. Nurse Seong kept a hand on his arm, leading him confidently and lightly along. V felt like he was safe, honestly. It was a nice feeling.

They reached some point in the hospital, and Nurse Seong told him to sit down. He did so, and they got him hooked up so that it wouldn’t be painful.

“How have you been, recently?” Nurse Seong asked.

“I’ve been well. You?”

“Quite well. Was the man who brought you in today your friend?”

“My soulmate,” V said.

“I see. That’s wonderful. When did you two meet?” she asked.

“It was when we were children, but it took me dating someone else to realize that he was the one I was always meant to be with.” V didn’t know why he was talking so much.

“Sometimes the drugs make you talk more than you usually would,” Nurse Seong told him. He supposed that he must have thought out loud by accident.

“Yes, that happens a lot, too.” Seong laughed, and V thought it was pretty. He started thinking of what kind of scene would describe it. He decided that warm sunlight at noon was probably the best one. They both carried that feeling of warmth and life. Yoosung did, too.

“Yoosung? Who’s he?”

“Blond kid. Used to have brown hair. He’s in university, right now, and dating a nice person named Saeran.”

“Oh! He lives right next door. They seem to love each other very much. Also soulmates, if I remember correctly,” Nurse Seong said.

“Is that so? Small world.” About that time, the drugs knocked him out.

 

When he awoke, the world was white. Really, really white. He blinked a couple times, wondering what had happened to make the world white instead of black, but he couldn’t remember. There was a hospital curtain next to him, all grey and kind of unhappy looking, if he tried to place an emotion on it. Was he unhappy? He didn’t think so. Then again, what did he know, really?

“Jihyun? Jihyun, are you alright?”

“I think so? Who are you?” he asked, not really sure who was speaking. He looked over, and saw a man with grey eyes and black hair watching him with concern.

“You don’t remember?”

“No? I’m sorry, I’m causing you stress, aren’t I?”

“No, no, it’s fine. I’m not stressed at all. Nurse, what happened?”

“It’s a side effect of the drugs we used to knock him out. He’ll be fine in a few hours, it just takes the brain awhile to get its memory going again.”

“Thank you.”

“Something about you, ma’am. You’re… someone important, I think,” he said. He couldn’t really remember his name. This person next to him had said Jihyun, right? Was that his name? Was there another one…? He didn’t know, for now. It made him sad to think, but he supposed it was so.

“Don’t worry. Just let him get some rest, and he should remember fine when he wakes up again,” Nurse Seong said. Jumin nodded, then looked at V.

“Get some sleep, then. I’ll wait here for you.”

Jumin called Miyoung to tell her the good news. Saeyoung and Saeran would presumably hear through her. She congratulated him and V, and said she was happy that everything turned out alright.

Jaehee also congratulated them. Zen said he was happy V was okay, then told Jumin that if he didn’t take care of him, Zen would come for him. Jumin told him that he would never get close.

“Shut up, you jerk,” Zen said angrily before hanging up. Jumin laughed, then called Yoosung. This was a tricky one. After all, Yoosung notoriously hated V for a year and a half. Jumin wasn’t entirely sure what the situation was between them now, but, even so, Yoosung needed to know, right?

Yoosung picked up fairly quickly.

“Jumin? What is it?”

“Jihyun is okay. He just got out of surgery, and is recovering. Visiting hours for him are supposed to start this weekend, if you’d like to come see him.”

“Okay. I’ll go,” Yoosung said. He was amiable. Jumin supposed that he had gotten over the hatred he once felt for V.

“Good. It’ll be nice for him to see you. He told me, after you two met for the first time, that you had beautiful eyes. I think he’ll enjoy finally seeing them in color,” said Jumin.

“Really? Then, I should definitely go,” Yoosung said. Something in his voice had changed. Jumin didn’t question it. Whatever Yoosung was thinking was none of his business, after all, unless he was approached about it.

“Alright. Have a good day,” Jumin said.

“You, too.” The call ended, and Jumin was left with nothing to do except watch over V until he woke up again. He decided to try some more coloring. After meeting Mina last week, Jumin had taken to carrying a small stash of crayons and paper in his briefcase, which he just so happened to have with him. The colors were brighter now.

He colored for three hours, until V awoke.

“Jumin,” V said.

“Jihyun, you’re awake. It’s good to see you,” replied Jumin.

“Good to see you, too. Oh. The curtain is blue.”

“Yes, it is. It’s a nice shade, too.”

“Yeah, not like that putrid green from the time we were at an exhibit together. Remember his suit?”

“How can I forget? It was horrid.” They laughed together, and V looked at the crayon in Jumin’s hand.

“You’re coloring?”

“Yes. It’s a more enjoyable practice than I had anticipated. See?” Jumin held up the drawing he had done. It was a dog, of all things. He had remembered that V wanted one.

“Here. You have a dog now,” he said, handing it over. V smiled, looking at it.

“It’s perfect.” The dog was orange and red, with green paws. “And completely unrealistic. Who are you, and what have you done with my boyfriend?”

“I’m the new and improved Jumin Han, and I’ve had some of my ideals about perfection rocked by a three year old. Anyway, you’re still recovering, and I have work I need to get done. The nurse said that your visiting hours will start this weekend. Get some rest. Yoosung has already promised to come by and say hello.”

“Looking forward to it. I’ll see you again this weekend, too, right?”

“Certainly.”

 

The weekend came, as time passes without our being able to stop it. Yoosung and Saeran were on their way to the hospital, so they could visit V together. Pulling into the parking lot, Saeran was reminded of his time spent here, as his body was flushed out of everything that had once polluted it. He held tightly onto Yoosung’s hand. Yoosung held on back, and refused to let go.

“I’ve got you,” he said. Saeran nodded, and they went inside.

The receptionist’s desk stood between them and the rest of the hospital. Saeran almost backed out right then, but he decided to keep moving forward, instead. They were directed to V’s room, and, as they went through the halls toward it, Saeran kept thinking of how trapped he felt.

“Yoosung--”

“I know. Don’t worry, I’m right here.” They made it to V’s room, and Saeran immediately went for the window, shoving his head outside so he could breathe.

“This place is so claustrophobic,” he said.

“It’s nice to see you, Saeran. You have lovely hair,” V said. “It’s like your brother’s. Though, I suppose that’s an insult. It’s a good shade of red.”

“No, it’s fine. I don’t mind so much, anymore.” Saeran kept looking out the window, and V turned to Yoosung, smiling.

“I’ve always thought your eyes were beautiful, like stars. Now I see they’re violet. I guess that makes them more like nebulae,” V said. Yoosung smiled.

“Thank you. And your eyes are blue. Like the ocean in the tropics.”

“Thank you. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to just look at the world around me. I’m excited to see what it has to offer, in terms of color. I didn’t have too long, you know.”

“Yeah. You went blind soon after that, because of...” Yoosung didn’t say her name. He didn’t need to, they all knew who he was talking about. V merely nodded.

“Yes, because of her. And now, because of Jumin, I finally have the strength to go forward. Yoosung, you and Saeran have been together for some time, right?”

“Right.”

“I’m glad. You deserve to be happy. Especially you, Saeran.” That caused Saeran to jump, and he turned to face V. There was love in V’s eyes, like Saeyoung sometimes had when he was looking at Saeran. Brotherly love, then. Saeran smiled. It was nice to have family, he thought, when the family didn’t hate you and all that.

“Hey, V, what are you going to do, now that you can see?”

“I think I’m going to go out into the world and take pictures of all of its colors, restart my career with more of a focus on the dynamics of shades and hues. Of course, I’ll still have pictures that are naturally black and white, to focus on emotions like I always have,” V said. Saeran nodded.

“That’d be pretty cool,” he said. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he pulled it out. There was a call from an unknown number. Saeran decided to humor them, this time. “I’m going to take this.”

“Alright,” Yoosung said. Saeran left the room.

“I want to visit Rika’s grave. I couldn’t see properly the first time, and things had been starting in such a way that made attending the funeral difficult.”

“When she was starting her cult in earnest, right?”

“Exactly,” V said. Yoosung nodded.

“We can take you there, once you’re allowed out of the hospital. You can see her grave, then.”

“That sounds good.” At that moment, Saeran came bursting back into the room, excitement stretched across his face.

“Yoosung! I got the job!”

“You did!? That’s awesome! When do you start?”

“She said that I can work for half the day on Sundays, and for an hour after classes on weekdays.”

“That’s great!”

“You got a job?” V asked.

“At a flower shop. I really like the colors, and with everyone wanting to plant their gardens right now, she needs the help,” Saeran replied.

“I see. That’s wonderful news, Saeran.”

“Yeah, and it’s good to see that you… can see. That was lame,” Saeran muttered. V laughed.

“It’ll be a shame. I liked making those blind jokes all the time. Long time, no see. But I guess those days are behind me.”

“You can still use them for a little while, right? I mean, it’s been a long time since you could see,” Yoosung said.

“True,” V said. The three of them talked awhile longer, but eventually, it was time for Saeran and Yoosung to go. They waved goodbye to V, and left the hospital.

“My first day is tomorrow,” Saeran said. “Wish me luck.”

“Good luck. You’ll do great, I know it.”

“You really think so?”

“I do!” They smiled at each other, and Saeran leaned in to steal a kiss from his boyfriend. Yoosung responded happily. The two of them headed home, Saeran dropping Yoosung off at his house.

When he returned to his own home, his brother pounced on him immediately.

“So? How did it go?”

“It went well. V is doing fine, and he and Yoosung are getting along. Oh, and I got the job at the flower shop.”

“Really? Woohoo! My brother is becoming a productive member of society!”

“Don’t phrase it like that,” Saeran said, as Saeyoung hugged him, but, even so, he was still happy that his brother cared for him like this. It was good to be his twin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a pirate shirt, btw. and v's eyes are better! it'll be a bit before he's totally recovered, but he'll be fine :D
> 
> comment if you wish :D:D:D


	27. Color in a Theft

It was Sunday. That meant that Saeran was off to work, and off to work he went. He drove to the hospital, finding a place to park nearby, and went to the flower shop. Inside, the young woman who had hired him was sitting at the cash register. She was someone who understood that the human body needs to rest every once in awhile.

“Good afternoon, how may I help you --- ah! It’s you!”

“Yep, right on time,” Saeran said.

“Yeah! I don’t think we were properly introduced. My name is Yeona.”

“Saeran. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too. Come with me, and I can get you suited up and introduced to the shop,” Yeona said, gesturing to the back. 

Saeran nodded, following closely as he was shown the bathroom, “for employees only,” according to Yeona, and the storage room at the back, which was brightly and naturally lit. A number of aprons were hanging on the wall near the door. Yeona took one down, tossing it to Saeran.

“This is for you. Wear it while you’re in the store, and especially if you have to go outside for any reason. It’s free advertisement and lets customers know we care about our image, and therefore the store.”

“I see.” Saeran put the apron on, tying it behind his back.

“Are you ready to be introduced to the plants? Most of these are up front, so I’ll just show you the ones that will need to be taken up later.” They walked around the back, Saeran getting wrapped up in color after color, flower after flower. Yeona pointed out how each type of flower differed from the others in petal numbers and leaf shapes. He forgot some of them, as hard as he tried to remember each and every one.

“This is a lot,” he said. It was as far as he was willing to concede his inability to do this job.

“Yeah, it is. I’ve been working here for four years now, and I still have trouble with a few of these flowers’ names.”

“Really?” Yeona nodded. She kept pointing out flowers as they moved back to the front. There were more flowers up there, as well as another person.

“Oh! A customer. Good afternoon, and welcome. How may I help you?” Yeona asked, her voice rising into a fake tone. Saeran noticed immediately how the customer reacted to it, as if the rise had made them more receptive to being helped, somehow.

“I need a bouquet for someone in the hospital.”

“Sure thing! I can get a bouquet made for you right away.” Yeona took some flowers from the display vases. One of them was the flower she had grabbed for Saeran’s that stood for healing. “Any particular feelings you want to say?”

“No, I just need a good bouquet.”

“Understood!” She made the bouquet, then handed it to the customer, who paid for it at the asking price. Once the customer was gone, Yeona turned back to Saeran.

“This job requires a lot of math. The prices for each of the flowers are written on the pots they’re growing in, and there’s a catalogue with the names and prices on the counter, so you can check there. Different flowers cost different amounts. Roses are one of the more expensive ones, of course. Anyway, just put the amounts in here,” she pointed to a calculator on a computer by the register, “and multiply it by the number of flowers. It’ll tell you how much it costs in total.”

“Got it.”

“Alright, that’s your quick training course. The more you work here, the more you’ll learn. If anyone has questions that you don’t know the answer to, point them at me, and I can help them out. How long until school gets out?”

“It’s a few weeks, now, until summer,” Saeran said.

“Your hours will pick up, then. You can ask for days off, by the way, once you’ve worked here for a month. Each month gets a day off,” Yeona said. “Anyway, do you remember the flowers I pointed out out back?”

“A few.”

“Good. Bring the ones you remember up, and see if you can tell me their names when you do so.” Saeran headed out back, grabbing pots of flowers by the bottom and bringing them up front. He set the first one down on the counter.

“Rose of Sharon,” he said. Of course he knew this one. It was the national flower of Korea.

“Nice! Put that one up front, in the window. There should be a space for it.” Saeran did so, then went out back to get the next flower that wasn’t already up front.

“Forsythia,” he said, coming back with a wood stalk that had a few thicker petaled yellow flowers.

“Right. That goes outside.” Saeran brought the plant outside, setting it on the ground. He adjusted its position a bit, as a few older women were walking into the store, and vaguely heard Yeona greet them. There were more flowers to grab, so he went off to the back to get them.

“Saeran! Can you get some tulip bulbs from the back? They’re in a labeled box on the left wall,” Yeona said as he passed.

“Sure thing, Yeona,” Saeran said. He went out back, but he wasn’t sure how many tulip bulbs to grab. Taking the entire box would be a lot of effort, and on top of that, they were divided into six boxes. He grabbed one from each, holding them carefully so as not to crush them, and in the same order that they had been in in the boxes.

“What a sweet looking young man,” said one of the women. Saeran smiled.

“How many bulbs did you want?” he asked.

“I need twenty for my garden. Is there any way to tell the colors?”

“Yes, there is! Here, let me show you...” Yeona explained the differences in the bulbs, and how those differences indicated the species of tulip, as well as which species were more likely to be which colors. Saeran paid close attention, as well. He was eager to learn as much as he could.

“And that’s how it works! Any more questions?”

“No, that’s alright. So which ones will be red?”

“These ones. Saeran, can you get twenty of these?” Yeona asked.

“Sure thing.” He went back to the tulip box, dumped the unwanted bulbs in their proper places, and grabbed twenty desired bulbs. It was weird to him that the seed things were called bulbs, but he didn’t question it. It was what it was, right? Though, maybe Yeona would have an answer for him, later.

The ladies bought the tulip bulbs, as well as some other flowers that hadn’t bloomed yet to replant into their gardens. Saeran busied himself during the downtime with memorizing which flowers were which. Yeona was more than happy to help him out.

At some point, an hour before closing, Yoosung came in.

“Hey, I’m looking for a flower with red petals and a pink heart,” he said, looking around.

“I don’t think we have any flowers like that,” Yeona replied. Saeran popped up from one of the bottom shelves he had been looking at.

“There he is,” Yoosung said, smiling, then turned properly to Yeona. “You must be Saeran’s boss. I’m his boyfriend, Yoosung. I work at the Resting Coffee Shop.”

“Oh, I love that place! It has such a nice atmosphere. My name is Yeona. It’s lovely to meet you, Yoosung.” They bowed. Saeran stood near the other two.

“When do you get off work?” Yoosung asked.

“The store closes in an hour, so not too long after. There’s not a whole lot to do outside of moving things in,” Saeran said.

“And we start that fifteen minutes before close. It works as a sort of warning to any inside customers that we’re getting close to closing for the night,” Yeona added.

“That’s better than my job. When I have to help close at the coffee shop, I spend an hour just washing dishes. Anyway, I should leave you to it.”

“Have a good day, Yoosung.”

“I’ll see you later,” Saeran said. Yoosung nodded, waving as he went out the door.

“He’s a nice guy, huh?”

“Yeah, he is. He’s studying to be a vet, right now.”

“That’s really cool!” Yeona said, clapping. “I hope he gets to save lots of cute animals.” The two of them continued with their jobs, and Saeran was able to remember the names of eight or nine flowers of the few dozen that were in the shop. They closed everything up. Saeran headed home while Yeona was counting the money.

Yoosung was waiting for him outside with food in bags. He handed one to Saeran, who opened it and smelled the contents.

“Chicken?”

“Yeah. I figured you’d be okay with that, since it’s a new place.”

“It’s good. I definitely prefer your cooking to fast food, though,” Saeran said. Yoosung smiled and stuffed a few fries into his mouth.

“With the money I’m earning, we can go out to eat more often. Saeyoung’s paying for my tuition, so it’s not like I have anything to spend money on, right now,” said Saeran, taking Yoosung’s hand.

“Yeah, that’ll be good. I like going out to dinner with you, Saeran. Do you want to stay in, tonight? Sit down and play a board game or something?”

“Don’t you have a LoLoL tournament?”

“I’ve been playing less lately. It takes time away from you, and my studies. I don’t have the time for it, anymore.”

“Yoosung...”

“I know, it’s surprising, right? But I’m not kidding about being a better person for you. I want to be everything you need.”

“That’s impossible.”

“Yeah. As much as I can be, for you. I’ve been talking with your therapist more, and he said that just asking you what you need would help. Do you think so?” Yoosung looked at Saeran, who was thinking about the notion.

“Yeah. I’d like that.” With that, Yoosung started swinging their hands back and forth. Saeran swung with him, and they walked all the way back to his car like that. Opening the door for his boyfriend, Saeran felt his heart fill. It was an uncommon sensation, but he enjoyed it. He kissed Yoosung’s cheek as the violet eyed man sat down, then closed the door and got in on his side.

“What was that?” Yoosung asked, once Saeran was back in earshot.

“I felt like kissing you,” Saeran replied.

“Have you been drugged with something from the flowers?”

“No, it’s not that. I just feel happy, right now.” He reached for Yoosung’s hand, holding it firmly but gently as he drove them to his house. They had school tomorrow, but he had forgotten that in the moment.

“If we’re going to your place, then can we stop by mine so I can grab my schoolbag?”

“Right,” Saeran said. He altered their course, going to Yoosung’s place, pulling into the parking lot and waiting for Yoosung, who promised it would just be a few minutes. It was. He came racing down the stairs with his bag, but he didn’t seem okay, especially not as he wrenched the door open, out of breath.

“Someone stole my computer!” Yoosung cried, once he recovered.

“What!? I’m calling the police.” Saeran pulled his phone out, reporting the incident to the police as quickly as he could. “We’re staying here until they arrive, alright?”

“Alright. Thank you,” Yoosung said, climbing into the car. He dumped his bag in the backseat, clearly shaken. Saeran pulled him into a hug, and Yoosung started crying.

“I’m sorry,” Yoosung murmured.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Saeran said.

“I-I know, but… it’s just… I try to be so strong, and…”

“Shh, it’s fine. We’ll get this sorted out, okay? And if they don’t find your computer, we can get you a new one. I’m sure Saeyoung will hook you up with a good one, and I’ll make sure it doesn’t try to breathe fire.” Saeran ran his fingers through Yoosung’s hair, trying to calm him down as he kept an eye out for the police.

A cruiser pulled into the parking lot, and two officers got out. Saeran turned his car off and got out, Yoosung following close behind.

“I’m glad you got here,” Saeran said, alerting the cops that he was the one who called.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

“All I know is that my boyfriend’s apartment was robbed. Come on, I know where it is.” He led the other three up the elevator. Yoosung was trying to get himself under control. Saeran rubbed circles into his hand. They all went into the apartment. Nothing had been moved, but there was an eerie silence that made Saeran vaguely uncomfortable.

Then, he realized why it was so quiet: the computer was no longer humming. He led the way to where it usually sat, and was clearly no longer present. The monitor had been left behind, but the keyboard and mouse were gone, too.

“The computer got stolen,” Saeran said.

“I see. Alright, we’ll dust for prints and see if anyone in the area has seen anything.”

“Thank you.”

“You take care of him,” one of the officers said, looking to Yoosung. Saeran nodded.

“I will, don’t worry.” They left the police in the apartment, and headed downstairs, going back to Saeran’s home. Yoosung was silent, a worrying sign. Saeran pulled into his garage, leading Yoosung inside with the younger’s backpack slung over his shoulder. Inside, Saeyoung and Miyoung were playing Mario Kart, as they sometimes did before eating dinner to decide who would do the dishes.

“Hey, you’re back! What happened?” Miyoung asked as she booted Saeyoung off the track.

“Yoosung got robbed.”

“Seriously? How bad’s the damage?” Saeyoung paused the game.

“No damage, just my computer. They knew, Saeyoung. They knew what was valuable inside my apartment...” Yoosung muttered. He made his way to the couch, and fell heavily onto one of the seats. Saeran sat in a nearby chair, setting the backpack on the floor next to him.

“Have you called the police?”

“We got them into the apartment before we left. Yoosung will probably have to talk to them, but he’s got time to recover first,” Saeran said. Saeyoung nodded.

“Don’t worry, Yoosung. If it’ll make you more comfortable, you can stay with us, until this is all taken care of,” Miyoung said. The other two nodded. Yoosung smiled for the first time since he found out he’d been robbed.

“Thanks, Miyoung.”

“It’s no problem! We’re practically family, anyway.”

“Yeah, we’ve all heard each other at night. This brings us closer~” Saeyoung said. Saeran threw a pillow at his head. Yoosung shoved a pillow into his own face.

“Oh my god, Saeyoung.”

“Love ya!” Saeyoung ran into the kitchen, Miyoung chasing him.

“You’re doing the dishes tonight!” she shouted.

“Why!?”

“You made Yoosung uncomfortable!”

About ten minutes later, there was food on the table, and they were all sitting down to eat. It was a nice moment, much calmer and kinder than earlier. Saeyoung was banned from saying anything more that night, under threat of some punishment of Miyoung’s devising. She didn’t tell them what it was.

Yoosung had calmed himself down considerably when Saeran got a call. He left the table at the sight of the restricted number, and answered the phone.

“Hello?” he said.

“This is the police. We got a call from you earlier about a robbery. Unfortunately, the robber was very good at what they were doing, and we have no leads inside the apartment to point them out.”

“Alright. I’ll see what I can do, then.”

“I doubt you’ll be able to do much.”

“You’d be surprised,” Saeran said. “Have a nice day, officer.” He ended the call, then went back to the dinner table.

“Saeyoung get your tapes. We’ve got a criminal to catch.”

“Sah-weet!” Saeyoung jumped up, running to his computer. Yoosung watched him go, confusion all over his face.

“Don’t worry, Yoosung. We’ll get that computer back, and then we’ll give your apartment some security renovations to make sure it doesn’t happen again,” Saeran said.

“Thanks,” Yoosung replied. It was all he could manage. Things were happening more quickly than he could handle. He went back to eating. That was a simple thing he understood. Miyoung did the same, smiling to herself.

“What are you smiling for?” Yoosung asked.

“Before you came along, there’s no way that those two would be working on a project together, even if I tried to ply Saeran with ice cream. Now he’s demanding his brother’s help, and it’s all thanks to you.”

“I haven’t done that much.”

“You’ve done more than you realize. He’s come out of his shell a lot more since you came along, you know. Smiling a lot more, and he was open with me at the spa day.”

“Oh, right! How’s the baby coming?” Yoosung asked.

“We’re at three months, now. I’m expecting to get hit by the morning sickness, soon.”

“That’s not going to be pleasant, huh?”

“Not at all,” Miyoung said, grimacing. “But, it’ll be worth it, once the child is born.” They smiled, and heard a loud whoop from Saeyoung’s room. The two of them raced over to see what had happened.

“What is it?” Yoosung asked.

“We got the face of your crook! See? This is your webcam, on the monitor, and the one you use to stream videos. From the stream cam, we have a profile of the perp’s face in stunning HD quality. Then, from your monitor cam, we’ve got sight of him reflected in the mirror of your open wardrobe! Nice boxers, by the way,” Saeyoung said, ending his explanation by pointing out a pair of heart boxers.

“Those were a prank gift from some friends. And I don’t like the fact that you were able to hack my stuff so easily,” Yoosung said.

“He wasn’t the one to hack it. I was,” Saeran said. “I thought it would make you happier. Saeyoung’s been tracking the thief’s movements outside of the apartment, getting a lock on his current location. Do you have it secured?”

“I do. We can go now, if you want,” said Saeyoung.

“How many?”

“Just him. He’s good at planning, and I nearly lost him a couple times, but we know where he is right now.”

“Then let’s go,” Saeran said.

“Wait. Let me go with you,” Yoosung said. Saeyoung was about to protest, but something in Yoosung’s eyes stopped him.

“Alright. Come on, then. Miyoung, are you okay waiting here?”

“I’ll be fine,” Miyoung said. She hugged Saeyoung tightly, then let the three of them go. “You’re washing the dishes when you get back!”

“Be happy to, my love!”

 

It didn’t take long to reach the place that the thief was hiding out. It was a way station, from what Saeran could tell. The building was decrepit, falling apart in some places, but that just made people less likely to suspect it. No one in their right mind would go into such a place. If it was a well-traveled stop for robbers, then it would be more secure on the inside.

The three of them pushed inside, Saeyoung giving the police a quick call to let them know what was about to go down. They went along down various halls, looking around for where the robber could be, checking as thoroughly as they could. After going all the way to the top, and finding nothing, there was only one room left to check.

“Here we go,” Saeyoung whispered. The other two nodded. He lifted a leg, aiming it at the door handle, and kicked it hard. The door flew open with a bang! It crashed into the wall, surprising the man on the other side into yelping loudly, then scurrying for useless cover. Saeran was on him in a moment. He grabbed the man roughly by the collar, lifting him off the floor until their faces were merely inches apart. The man was absolutely terrified of the dangerous glint in Saeran’s eyes.

“Listen up, dipshit. You stole my boyfriend’s computer, and that’s not okay with me. I’ve had to sit and watch him be terrified and miserable all night, knowing that you’re sitting pretty on his possessions, so now I’m here to do something and kick your ass.”

“P-p-please, have mercy!”

“No mercy for you!” Saeran raised his fist to deck the guy in the throat.

“Wait!” Yoosung shouted. That caused Saeran to pause, but he didn’t let his guard drop.

“Yoosung, stay back,” Saeyoung said, registering that Saeran was in a dangerous frame of mind.

“No, it’s okay. Sir, I don’t know why you stole my computer. If you’re in financial trouble, then you can keep it. I can always get another one. But if you stole it to mess with me, or someone else through me, then I’m not going to stop him again. Why did you do it?”

That surprised both of the Choi twins. Saeran knew that he was affecting Yoosung, but he had had no idea it was to this extent. There was no way the timid LoLoL player could ever pull this off normally. Saeyoung, being closer at the moment to Yoosung, could see the slight shaking of his body, and it quickly became apparent to him that Yoosung was running out of his comfort zone to do this.

“Alright, alright! I stole it because I like to steal. What are you gonna do about it?”

“Call this self-defense,” Saeran said, changing to an open palm strike across the jaw. He dropped the robber, as Saeyoung located the computer itself.

It had been gutted, and from his professional eye, a few of the pieces were missing. Raising an eyebrow, the older twin looked to where the man was laying on the ground, recovering from Saeran’s expert strike.

“Where are the other pieces?” he asked.

“Sold.”

“Then there’s no point in tracking them down. I’ll replace them with the best available… I don’t think they’ll fit. Yoosung, you’re getting a new computer, anyway. We’ll take this back to my place and get the files backed up. Then we can go shopping tomorrow, after school.”

“Thank you, Saeyoung. You guys are always really good to me. Why is that?”

“Because we care about you. Why did you try to be brave, Yoosung?” Saeran asked.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not like you to be so bold, or so threatening, and I could feel that you were scared and would have rather not been doing that. So, why?”

“I guess I’ll never feel like I’m enough for you. I want to be more, and no matter what I do, I feel like it’s never enough.”

“Yoosung, you’re enough now, but it makes me happy to hear that you want to better yourself for me. Just make sure you better yourself for you, too,” Saeran said, drawing closer.

“I will!” They embraced as Saeyoung got the computer parts back in the tower. He hoisted it into his arms, and made for the door.

“Come on, you two. Last one to the car does the dishes.”

“Don’t dump it on someone else. It’s your responsibility,” Saeran said. They got outside, where another cruiser was waiting --- no, it was the same one, and the same cops.

“Top floor,” Yoosung said as they passed. “Thanks for the help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoosung you sassy motherfucker
> 
> comment if you wish :D:D:D


	28. Color in Water Colors

It had been interesting, to say the least, their adventure to recover Yoosung’s computer. However, it had made Yoosung himself a bit… iffy, and on edge. Saeran didn’t like it.

He walked into Jaehee’s coffee shop a few mornings after, and ordered his usual black coffee. Yoosung had bags under his eyes, which made Saeran cock his head to the side. His boyfriend hadn’t had such deep circles for months, not since he stopped playing LoLoL so much…

“You’ve been spending more time with your computer, huh?” Saeran said.

“You could tell?” Yoosung asked.

“Of course. I’m your boyfriend. I know more about you than most people.” Saeran tried to think of what he could do to help ease Yoosung’s nerves. He and Saeyoung had already gone into his apartment and rigged the place to quietly and “safely” deal with any more intruders without actually killing them.

“That’s true. I just… I don’t feel so confident living on my own, anymore. What if it happens again? Or something worse happens?” Yoosung started hyperventilating, his eyes blowing wide. Saeran knew what he was feeling, having experienced many a panic attack in the time he had spent recovering from his time with Rika. He came around the counter, setting his coffee down, and looked for Jaehee in her office. She was usually there at this time, checking over the stock records to make sure everything was in order.

“Jaehee, would you mind taking the front for a bit? Yoosung needs to cool down,” he said, poking his head in.

“Certainly. I’ve been wondering how long it would be before he finally broke down. Is it happening now?”

“Yeah.” Jaehee hurried to the front. Saeran stayed back, going into the kitchen. Yoosung appeared a moment later, two seconds from sobbing.

One, two, and the tears burst from him. The blond sank to the floor, curling up and trying to stay quiet. Saeran pulled him into a hug, letting Yoosung know he was there without making him feel like he was suffocating. He kept his arms from trapping Yoosung’s. That would only make the problem worse.

“It’s alright. Everything turned out alright… God, I wish I knew what to say.”

“I know. I… I don’t know what to do. I feel scared by this, and,” Yoosung choked back a sob, “ashamed to feel this way.”

“Yeah, it sucks,” Saeran said, trying to think of what Miyoung had said when he expressed similar feelings a long time ago. “But it’s not your fault. You didn’t do this to yourself, and you’re dealing with it better than I ever did, when I was trying to get over some bad stuff that happened to me.” He rubbed Yoosung’s back, then moved a hand to his chest.

“Do you want to breathe with me?” Saeran asked. Yoosung nodded. Saeran started a steady rhythm, pulling his hand up a bit and letting it fall again with his own chest. Yoosung did his best to match the rhythm, slowly bringing himself back under control. Once he was back to how he had been before, he nodded to Saeran, and breathed deeply on his own.

“Better?”

“Yeah, much. Thank you, Saeran.”

“It’s nothing, really. Just a simple exercise.”

“But it’s you, too. You make me feel calmer.”

“Thanks. You calm me, too. Now, can you think of anything that would help you feel better about your apartment?” It was the problem, after all. It made sense to Saeran to find a way to repair the damage caused, somehow.

“Can you… can you stay with me for a few nights? Just until I feel like it’s going to be okay.”

“Yeah, I can.” Yoosung went to clock out for the day, and Saeran grabbed his coffee. They walked to the campus together, then split to go to class.

It was more boring classes, but at least Saeran only had one for his major that semester. He wondered about how switching his major would work. There was one way to find out: talk to the adviser he’d been assigned to at the beginning of the year --- assuming he could remember who his adviser was.

They hadn’t talked unless it was necessary.

Class got out, as it always did, and Saeran walked to a neutral space, where one would expect someone to be sitting, but wasn’t also a classroom. It was easy enough. SKY University Campus had plenty of places for its massive studentry to hang out and do work. He looked at the website for the university, which was, as far as college sites go, really well designed. He could think of a few improvements for it, like text that wasn’t basic as fuck, but it was still good.

He found the majors tab, and then skirted through one page after another --- creating a single page from which all information on majors could be accessed --- until he figured out where he could get directions to change his major. Then, he looked through old emails to find out who his adviser was, and contacted him to set up a meeting.

Once that was done, Saeran headed to the library, so he and Yoosung could sit and talk for awhile. He wanted to make sure he was okay.

Yoosung was sitting in a corner, with his laptop open. Saeran couldn’t see what was on the screen, but based on the look of absolute concentration on Yoosung’s face, it was very likely some sort of LoLoL guide. Saeran sat down across from him, waiting for Yoosung to notice he was there.

He didn’t for fifteen minutes. Saeran put a hand over the top of his laptop, covering the screen a bit. That got Yoosung’s attention, and he looked up to see Saeran watching him with concern.

“Are you alright?” Saeran asked, trying not to sound like some neurotypical moron asking so they can gain Ally Points.

“I’m fine, really,” Yoosung replied, looking at him. He somehow looked worse than this morning. Saeran was getting really worried. He reached out and smoothed Yoosung’s hair a bit, then took a little bit in his hand, looking at the roots.

“They’re growing out, a bit,” he said. Yoosung looked at his hair, pulling on a strand.

“Really? I can’t tell. I guess that’s because I live with this stuff.” A laugh came out of his throat, but it sounded a bit hollow. Saeran scooted closer, coming around to see what was on the laptop screen. It wasn’t LoLoL. Yoosung was looking at apartments for rent. Specifically, he was looking at one-bedroom apartments for two people.

Yoosung tried to close the laptop, but Saeran held it open.

“Yoosung… do you want me to move in with you?”

“I… I feel safer with you around. I really do. And I know that it would be expensive for us to have our own place, so I’m just looking at the prices and amenities that different apartments have, so we know what to look for in the future, if you do want to live with me, sometime.”

“Okay,” Saeran said.

“What?”

“Consider this week a test run, to see how it’ll work out with us living together full-time. If we decide that it’s not going to work out, then we can stop. I’ll go home to Saeyoung and Miyoung, and we can wait to try again when we’re more mature and can handle it better.”

“Okay!” Yoosung smiled, genuinely this time. Saeran felt his own mouth stretching out wide. He kissed Yoosung’s cheek, causing the younger man to giggle.

“Seems you’re feeling a bit better?”

“Yeah, I am. I feel safer with you around. We can do this, I know it. It’ll be like, the next step of our relationship, without stressing about it not working, right?”

“Right.”

 

It was already fairly comfortable, being at Yoosung’s. After work that afternoon, Saeran had run home to get some stuff to take with him back over to Yoosung. He told Miyoung about what was happening. She agreed that it was a good idea for them, especially if they were going to get an apartment together.

“If you need a cosigner, Saeyoung and I can sign on for you,” she’d said. That made Saeran feel better about the situation. It wouldn’t be until after graduation, but knowing that his siblings had his back already made getting an apartment seem like that much of a better deal.

He drove to Yoosung’s in a bit of a hurry, feelings of excitement rising from his core, and making his entire body rush with electricity, urging him onwards. Saeran had stayed at Yoosung’s before, but this was different. This felt real.

Dragging his things up to the apartment itself was no problem at all. Getting them inside, total cinch. Getting things situated so it looked like Saeran lived there, too, total problem. Yoosung, as it turned out, was the kind of person who acted like water and spread all over a space. That meant that the both of them were constantly moving things around and adjusting positions of various trinkets and such so that Saeran’s could fit, too.

“I have more at home, too,” Saeran said, grimacing as a figurine almost fell off the desk. His anxiety plush ended up holding it, rather than taking its spot.

“So do I. We’re going to have to do some major consolidating if we’re going to have a place together.”

“Yeah, we are. Or more shelves.”

“That’ll work, too.” Eventually, they got everything together. Anxiety plush was by Yoosung’s computer. The top of his bookshelf now belonged to Saeran’s laptop, and if it hadn’t been for the fact that they were already prepared for surprise sleepovers, there would have been trouble in the bathroom, too. Thankfully, that had all been taken care of months ago.

“Alright, that’s everything,” Saeran said. Yoosung laid back on the bed, holding his green rabbit plush. Saeran laid down next to him.

“TV?” Yoosung asked.

“Sounds good.” Yoosung clicked the TV on. Saeran got up and hooked his laptop to it, connecting to a podcast for them to listen to. They chilled on the bed, legs dangling off the side.

“You know, for some reason, I thought this would be a lot more exciting. But really, it’s just inhabiting a space. There’s nothing special about this,” Yoosung said.

“Not really, but we’ve already stayed with each other so many times that that’s just what it feels like.”

“Maybe it’ll take a few days, then.”

“Maybe.”

It got more exciting at dinner, as Yoosung went to prepare food for the two of them, and the realization struck him that making dinner for two was something that was going to be happening a lot more often. It made cooking that night an absolute delight.

He came out of the kitchen with dinner prepared, smiling widely. Saeran raised an eyebrow at him.

“What are you so happy about?” he asked. Yoosung handed him a plate.

“I get to do this a lot more often, now, cooking for the two of us.” Saeran nodded, digging into the food. It tasted delicious, as it always did.

“I wonder if I should work on my cooking, so you don’t have to do this every night.”

“If you really want to, I could teach you.”

“We can make that a goal for this week. You teach me to cook dinner, and the stress will help us get closer.”

“Right? It’ll be fun!” They ate dinner together, listening to a podcast episode about some game or other. Saeyoung had recommended the series, and Saeran ended up listening to it because the people playing were entertaining as a backdrop to other things.

After dinner, Yoosung hopped onto LoLoL, excited for the summer and what that would mean for game releases. Saeran watched him play happily, smiling as he played another game. His laptop wasn’t quite powerful enough to run LoLoL to the standard he demanded.

Time passed, as it always does, and the two of them headed to bed, brushing their teeth one at a time. Yoosung showered, and then the two of them curled up in bed together.

“When we get our own place,” Yoosung said, “we’re getting a bigger bed.”

“We can use mine. I have more room than I know what to do with.”

“Perfect. Your mattress is comfier, anyway.”

 

The next morning, Saeran got up and immediately took a shower, as he always did, at six. He stopped for a moment after climbing out of bed, reorienting himself because this was not his room, and remembered that he was sleeping over at Yoosung’s. When he came out of the bathroom a half hour later, mostly ready to face the day, he found Yoosung setting a plate with a successful omurice on the bed for him.

“I have to get to work, but I’ll see you soon, anyway. Have a good day,” Yoosung said, giving him a peck on the cheek as he walked out the door. Saeran smiled, rubbing the spot where he had been kissed.

“You too, and good luck with work.”

“Thanks!” Saeran sat down to eat the omurice, cutting into it. It seemed that, since he had messed up that one morning before Miyoung had started dating his brother, Yoosung had figured out how much rice to put in, which meant not as much.

It was tasty, not his best work, but it was also before seven in the morning. Saeran ate the omelet separately, then the rice, washing it all down with some water before heading out to get coffee and finally wake up properly. He wondered briefly if Yoosung had any coffee in his apartment, then decided that he was already a loyal customer, enough to get him a card for visiting a hundred times, so he kept going to Jaehee’s coffee shop.

One black coffee later, and a knowing look from a tired Zen (who guessed wrong, last night was completely innocuous), Saeran was off on his way to class. He had a meeting with his adviser later to switch his major. Saeyoung had already agreed to the switch, as if he would have disagreed. He had sent Saeran to school to help him cope with society among peers of his own age group, as well as figure out who he really was.

Class came and went, as usual. Yoosung went with Saeran to his meeting, waiting outside the door as the two of them discussed the switch.

“So, you want to declare in a different major?”

“That’s right.”

“And… you’re looking at an art major.”

“That’s right.”

“Are you sure you want to do art?” the adviser asked. Saeran rankled.

“I am absolutely certain. How do I go about doing this?” he asked through gritted teeth. His adviser sighed, clearly not wanting him to change his major. He could understand why. After all, computer science was more likely to make him a lot of money. However, he eventually got it done.

Saeran walked out of that room feeling proud. Yoosung saw the glow in his face and started smiling.

“You did it?” Yoosung asked.

“I did. I am officially an art major.”

“That’s awesome! We should celebrate!”

“Alright. But it’s on me. You paid last time.”

“What? But this is your thing to celebrate. You shouldn’t be the one paying for it.”

“I know. I just want to take you out on a date, and I’d feel better if you got to celebrate without worrying about breaking your bank account.” Saeran kissed Yoosung’s forehead. Yoosung wasn’t sure, and emitted a noise to convey such.

“It’ll be alright,” Saeran said. They went to the library, then, until class happened again. Saeran went to work, learning more about flowers. He helped several customers who were looking for gifts for various things.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for a present for my niece, but I don’t want any normal flowers. Do you have anything to make them more permanent?” asked a customer.

“I’m sorry,” Yeona said, “we don’t gild here. I can sell you a bouquet and tell you where you can get them gilded, though.” She smiled, but it wasn’t enough for the customer.

“No, no. I need them to be really permanent.”

“I could try painting a bouquet for you, if you want. You buy it, I’ll paint it. Then you can give her the flowers and the picture at the same time, so she’ll always have them,” Saeran offered. It was as good an excuse to draw some flowers as any.

“Now that sounds like a plan. I’ll do it.” Yeona helped the customer arrange a bouquet, making it beautiful. Then it was handed to Saeran to bring to the back.

“That’ll stay fresh for awhile, so don’t worry about it.” The customer left, and Saeran looked at the bouquet, pulling out his phone to take pictures for references.

“Are you sure you can do this?”

“Easy. I’ll make it look nice, don’t worry,” Saeran said. He tucked his phone away.

 

With his shift finished, Saeran headed home. He had expected to practice drawing, and grabbed some more paint in the right colors in order to make the bouquet look like it was supposed to from a store.

“Yoosung, I’m home!”

“Welcome home, honey,” Yoosung said, leaning back from the computer. With the intense typing he was doing, Saeran guessed he was working on homework. And he was. Saeran nodded, then looked at the clock. It was about time for dinner. He had seen a fairly cheap noodle shop on the way home, and decided that that was where they were going for the night.

“You ready for our date?” Saeran asked.

“Yes!” Yoosung saved the document, then pulled his shoes on. Saeran set the paints on the bookshelf, catching his boyfriend’s attention as he did so.

“Paint?”

“Yeah, I got a commission at work to paint a bouquet that one of our customers bought for her daughter.”

“That’s really cool!”

“Right? Anyway, I can start on it after we eat. Come on,” Saeran said, pulling Yoosung along by the hand. With wallets, phones, and keys on hand, the two of them headed out to the noodle shop.

Saeran realized, as he got into his car, that it was starting to keep Yoosung’s scent. He took a deep sniff, inhaling as much of Yoosung as he could.

“What do you smell?” Yoosung asked.

“You. You’re all over my car,” Saeran said. “You smell nice. Like honey.” Yoosung blushed, then smelled the air himself, closing his eyes as he did so.

“Your smell… it’s like petrichor and lavender.”

“Like Saeyoung?”

“No, Saeyoung is lavender mixed with ocean salt.”

“I see.” It was nice to know that he had a different scent from Saeyoung, and even nicer that Yoosung could distinguish it. Saeran wondered briefly if Miyoung could tell the difference, but she had never really spent enough time within nose shot to know the differences in their scents.

But that meant that Yoosung had spent a lot of time around Saeyoung.

“How do you know what he smells like?”

“We used to play video games together for hours, before you and Miyoung came into our lives. I used to sit on his couch and try and discern what he smelled like from the air. It was hard, though. His couch smelled like Ph D Pepper all the time,” Yoosung said. Saeran laughed. That sounded exactly like the couch Saeyoung had had before they moved and it was “accidentally” set on fire by a certain twin.

He had watched the fire to make sure it didn’t spread. Saeyoung had still gotten mad at him. Those were good times.

“What are you laughing at?”

“I set that couch on fire. It deserved to die.” Yoosung chuckled.

“Hearing about the things you did when you were starting recovery is hilarious, sometimes. Mostly sad, or terrifying, but you set his couch on fire?”

“We had to get a new one. Miyoung didn’t seem that upset.” They arrived at the noodle shop, going inside.

The atmosphere was comfy, with a few people here and there who were talking quietly. Saeran and Yoosung were seated, and given menus.

“I’m glad that we have the money to do this,” Yoosung said. Saeran nodded, then froze.

“We?” he asked. Yoosung realized his mistake right after.

“Ah! Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that we’re sharing finances. I just meant like… we’re...” he didn’t know what to say. Finally, he just pushed his forehead into his hand, leaning on the table.

“It’s alright. One day, once we graduate, it’ll be ‘we’ for sure,” Saeran said. That got Yoosung to smile. He nodded in agreement.

“One day. I don’t know if I’ll end up graduating.”

“You’ll get there. You’re smart and really good with academic shit, Yoosung.”

“Have I ever told you how much I like my name when you say it?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ve always been told I have a pretty name, but hearing you say it, I finally get to hear what other people hear.”

“Glad to be of service. Do you know what you want?”

“Yep!” They ordered their ramyeon. Saeran had gotten one with beef, and Yoosung had pork.

“If we were to walk into some random restaurant, would it be safe to say that I could order anything with beef in it and you would eat it?”

“Pretty much. Beef and ice cream, dream foods,” Saeran said, slurping up his noodles.

“Then I know what I’m making you for your birthday. Beef stew, and I’m buying an ice cream cake,” Yoosung said, then looked at his ramyeon with wonder. “Not even instant...”

“Good food.”

 

Their meal lasted for over an hour. The two of them returned home, full and happy. As they walked inside, Yoosung hugged Saeran.

“I’m so happy for you! You’re pursuing what you want to do, not what anyone wants you to do.”

“Yeah, I am. And you’re going to make a lot of people happy. Have you ever considered getting a pet yourself?”

“I have, but I don’t know what I would get. Maybe a cat?”

“I’d like a cat. Something that doesn’t require a ton of attention and still likes to cuddle.”

“Yeah.” They went back up, just as the landlord was coming downstairs. Yoosung smiled and nodded to him, and the landlord nodded back. Saeran did the same thing.

“Say, you two have been spending a lot of time together in that apartment,” the landlord said. Saeran pursed his lips.

“We’re planning to move in together, once we’ve graduated. Do you think you’ll have a one-bedroom apartment open in a few years?”

“I think I might.” The landlord seemed a little shocked, for whatever reason. Saeran thought that Yoosung had handled that very well. Maybe he just wasn’t prepared for the suddenness of the reply?

“Thank you!” They continued on, walked into Yoosung’s apartment. Saeran pulled out his large sketchpad, setting it on his knees with a pencil. He pulled out his phone, putting it in one corner. Then, he sketched out the bouquet, including the vase. Once it was done, he took the paints and prepared them, moving to the floor so that he didn’t stain the sheets or blanket. Yoosung made sure not to disturb him as he worked.

Yoosung found himself a bit distracted as his boyfriend painted on the floor, using watercolors to bring out the bouquet in layers of paint, making darks and lights meld together. It was a few hours later, but Saeran finished the painting, declaring it done. At that point, Yoosung left his assignments for a few minutes, coming over to see what was done.

“Whoa! It’s beautiful! Where did you learn to do this?”

“I watched some tutorials, once I saw the flowers in the shop. I’ve also done a little practice with water colors, but I’m better with digital.”

“Whoever commissioned this is getting a real work of art. This belongs in a museum!” Yoosung exclaimed, causing Saeran to blush.

“It’s not that great,” he said.

“Saeran,” Yoosung said. Saeran turned to look at him. “It’s beautiful. Really.” He smiled, then kissed his boyfriend. The painting was moved to dry safely as Yoosung rewarded Saeran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nyehhhh finals are next week.
> 
> comment if you wish :D:D:D


	29. Color in a Career

The commission work that Saeran was getting after the first customer was steady. She had absolutely loved the painting of the flowers, and told her friends about his work, showing the painting off. Her friends had come in to get bouquets painted for themselves, as well, buying the bouquets in the process.

It was the deal he made with the owner of the store. He’d paint their flowers, and they would buy the flowers that were painted.

His work made him a lot of money over the summer, enough that he felt confident that he could get an apartment with Yoosung, once they both graduated. But, it did have a toll on his enjoyment of art. Saeran looked at the pictures of the paintings he had done, sighing. Each one was less bright than the last. He knew it was only a matter of time before someone started noticing.

“Saeran? What’s the matter?” Yoosung asked, coming up behind his boyfriend from his bathroom and hugging him. Saeran was a bit too tall for Yoosung to see comfortably over his shoulder, but that didn’t stop the shorter man from trying, getting on his tiptoes to see Saeran’s phone screen.

“It’s the paintings I’ve been doing. Do you see the difference?” Saeran asked, handing the phone to Yoosung. Yoosung flipped through the pictures, looking from one to the next, trying to see an overarching point that wasn’t flowers. He sat down on his bed, trying to figure it out, but finally had to let out a huff because they all looked perfect to him.

“Not really?” he said.

“They’re coming out worse and worse every time. I feel like I’m losing my edge.” Saeran sat on the bed and sighed.

“Losing your edge? How so?” Yoosung asked. He didn’t have all the information, and felt it was best to let Saeran explain, rather than jump to conclusions and make Saeran feel worse than he already did.

“They’re not as good as the ones before them. I thought that when you do something over and over, you keep improving, but they all look the same, and worse at the same time.” Saeran took his phone back and turned it off, setting it on the bed. Yoosung rubbed his back.

“Keep at it,” he said. “You’ll get better. Really. Why don’t you start by telling me what’s missing from each of these? Maybe we can find out what you’re not doing right yet.” His speech was a little stilted, as he was getting used to using more positive ways of talking about shortcomings and flaws.

“Alright,” Saeran said. He pulled the pictures up again, pointing to each of them, and remarking on the parts that weren’t as good as they should have been. Yoosung nodded and listened carefully. They found a number of paintings with the same sets of what Saeran considered mistakes, so Yoosung wrote them down for him.

“There. We went through them all, and these are the most common mistakes. Maybe it would help to paint a little more?”

“I don’t have any commissions right now,” Saeran said.

“I know, but… you could paint me.” There was hope in Yoosung’s eyes, even lighting the dead one, filling its empty space with a positivity that Saeran adored.

“Alright, I’ll paint you. Sit down on a chair somewhere,” Saeran said. Yoosung nodded. He sat on his computer chair, pulling his legs up and holding onto them. Saeran sat down on the floor, bringing his paints out. He had the primary colors with him, and they were all he would need --- hopefully.

He started with a basic pencil sketch, marking out his boyfriend as he appeared in life. Then he took his brush, and started painting, using yellow for the blond that was still on his head. Yoosung’s hair had gotten a lot longer over the past weeks since he had been growing it out. It reached down to his shoulders, his natural brown poking out plenty for a haircut.

Focusing on the brown roots, Saeran mixed the three colors together, making a muddy brown. It wasn’t the right shade, but it would work for now. Yoosung sat perfectly still the entire time he was painting, which was nice. The sun was streaming in behind him, outlining his hair in a beautiful golden halo. Saeran finished with the roots, touching up the highlights and shades as best he could with no black or white, then added some brown to the yellow to darken it just a bit, going over the parts of Yoosung’s hair that weren’t sun-touched.

His eyes were next, and Saeran made just the right shade of violet. He painted Yoosung’s good eye first, then had a little fun with the other, making it into a swirling vortex of purple clouds. The hoodie and buttons were pretty easy. Saeran didn’t bother with the skin at that moment. It would have been a lot of mixing with shades he didn’t have.

“There, check it out,” Saeran said. “My first attempt at correcting flaws in my work. I think I did pretty well.” Then he started seeing all the places where it should have been better. Grimacing at the work, Saeran tried to hide it from Yoosung, who was too quick for him to stop.

“This is amazing!” Yoosung exclaimed. He grabbed some tape from his desk, hanging the painting up carefully. It was still wet.

“You should let that dry, first, before it runs,” Saeran said, taking it down and laying it down in a corner, then muttered, “that’ll give me a chance to burn it.”

“No, don’t burn it! This is the second painting you’ve done for me --- and of me, for that matter.”

“Right, the digital one.”

“With the cool stuff going on in the eye, yeah. This one has that, too. If you want, you can paint this eye any time,” Yoosung said excitedly, then chuckled. “Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. If its being off-colored gives you inspiration---”

“Don’t say that. It shouldn’t have happened. You don’t deserve to be hurt, ever,” Saeran interjected. Yoosung nodded.

“Yeah, it’s not good that it happened. But it’s good that something is coming of it. Thank you, Saeran, for the painting. I love it.”

“I love you,” Saeran said.

“I love you, too.”

The painting dried in the corner for the next few hours, as Saeran and Yoosung opened LoLoL and played a few rounds together. Saeran had been getting better, especially under the tutelage of Yoosung. His rogue character had reached the level cap with some of the best armor in the game, and he even had some alts that he enjoyed playing.

Once the painting was done, Yoosung hung it up properly, and by that time, dinner had long since passed. He pursed his lips and went to the kitchen, to make some food for the two of them.

“You know, ever since that week we spent together, you’ve been cooking for me a lot. Either let me handle it this time, or we can get takeout,” Saeran said, grabbing Yoosung’s arm.

“Saeran, you’re a shit cook.”

“Then do you want pizza, or Chinese?”

“Pizza.” Saeran pulled his phone out, dialing the pizza place. Yoosung held his hand.

“Hello, I’d like a medium pepperoni pizza.” He gave them the address, looking at Yoosung for reassurance. Yoosung nodded. Saeran was doing great. “Alright, thank you.” The call ended, and Saeran grinned. He’d done it. He ordered a pizza by himself, and he hadn’t had to grab his anxiety plush like last time.

“Congratulations! I think we can count this as a step forward,” Yoosung said.

“Yeah, I think so. It wasn’t so scary this time. Maybe because the order wasn’t complicated?”

“That might be it. I’ll order if we’re getting a lot of food at once. This sort of thing is no trouble for you, anymore.”

They turned on the TV as they waited for the pizza to arrive. When it did, Yoosung pushed Saeran toward the door. He nodded, then faced the door, battling his trepidation. He pulled the money he needed from his wallet, including a tip, and opened the door to reveal the pizza delivery man.

“Your medium pepperoni, sir,” the delivery man said.

“Thank you. Here’s the money for the pizza, and a tip for you,” Saeran said, handing the cash over. The delivery man took it, counting it out quickly.

“Thanks. Enjoy your meal,” the man said, walking away.

“You too!”

Saeran shut the door fast. That was dumb that was dumb that was dumb.

“One slip-up. Awesome! You’re doing great with interactions,” Yoosung said, coming up. Saeran nodded, then facepalmed. That was so fucking dumb.

“It’s alright. I once called a waitress Mom. My mom was sitting right there, too.” Saeran cracked up, and Yoosung joined him in laughing.

“God, I love you, you stupid nerd.”

“Love you, too. Now, time for that pizza.”

 

“Are you sure you want to do this? We can turn back, if you want,” Jaehee said.

“No, it’ll be fine. This is the first time V is going out in public since his eye surgery, and he invited us to dinner with him. It’d be rude to back out now,” Zen replied. He stared at a restaurant that Jumin had made reservations for. It was high-end, and terribly expensive.

“Let’s go in, then.” They entered the restaurant, immediately coming up to a front podium. Zen kept the grimace off his face. Damn rich people and their excessive ornamentation in every possible place. The maitre d’ looked at them from over his nose, clearly not impressed with the pair that had walked in with less-than-ridiculously-expensive clothes.

“May I help you?” he asked.

“We’re waiting for the other half of our party. Is that alright?” Zen asked, a small note of challenge in his voice.

“And what party would that be?”

“It should be under Jumin Han, a reservation for four,” Jaehee said, before Zen could do anything. The manager looked at his reservations list, and his snobbish look started to fall. It snapped back into place soon after, though.

“We’ll see when he gets here.”

“Long time, no see,” came a voice from behind. V was smiling, and waved to Zen and Jaehee as he approached.

“I’m here for my reservation,” Jumin said, walking up to the maitre d’.

“It’s good to see you again, Mr. Han. Is everyone in your party present?”

“Yes, they are.”

“Excellent! Excellent! Right this way, please.” The four of them were escorted through the restaurant. A large number of other people were there, filling the tables, talking quietly amongst themselves. Zen looked back and forth, but no one really bothered to pay attention to them.

“Here we are,” the maitre d’ said. Zen watched him leave to go back to the podium. Standing around looking pretty seemed to be a big part of his job. The four of them sat down, Zen pulling a chair out for Jaehee.

“Are you comfortable here?” Zen asked her. He felt at ease. After all, none of these people could hurt him, and considering how beautiful he was, none of them would dare to.

“I’m fine,” Jaehee said. “It’s nice to be here with you two. How are your eyes, V?”

“They’re doing well. I can see much better now. Not as well as I used to, but still well enough that I can navigate without a cane.”

“That’s good to hear,” Zen said.

“Jumin took up coloring during the surgery. From what I hear, his office is becoming a small art gallery of its own,” V said.

“Is that so? I never would’ve pegged Mr. Trust Fund Kid as someone who likes to color.”

“I took it up as a hobby, nothing more,” Jumin said coolly. Jaehee knew better, though. After working for Jumin for so long, she knew how he operated, and he was definitely proud of his drawings. They were handed menus and glasses of water promptly, ordered soups soon after, and continued to enjoy catching up with each other.

“This has been a pleasant evening,” Jaehee said to V.

“It has been. I was worried, with those two being in the same room for an extended period of time, but it seems that they’re getting along pretty well, now. What happened?”

“It’s a long story. They’re still not on the best of terms, but they are doing better. I think it started when Jumin came by the rehearsal studio to give Zen a present. Zen refused to accept at first, but he relented, and brought it home. After that, he decided that if Jumin was nice enough to get him something, he could do the same. It’s been snowballing ever since.”

“Maybe the resort helped a little, put them in a calm environment with each other where they didn’t argue,” V said.

“That might be it.”

“Don’t make me sick,” Zen said, looking crossly at Jumin. Jaehee and V looked over at them, wondering what had transpired while they were distracted.

“I’m not trying to make you sick. You don’t have to order it, if you don’t want to. There are other items on the menu,” Jumin said.

“Was that about tonight’s special?” V asked, pointing to it. Jaehee looked at it herself. It included a number of odd ingredients that she didn’t think would taste too great together.

“Yes, it was. Zen is being a baby, as usual.”

“Oh, please. I’m handling this very well! It’s just roasted eye lambasted in a weird sauce,” Zen retorted.

“It is pretty strange,” Jaehee said, looking over the rest of the menu to take her mind off the roasted eye. How would one roast an eye, anyway? She found a lamb kebab, pointing it out to Zen.

“That’s perfect,” he said, then pointed to the fact that this place had coffee. She hadn’t opened that store for nothing, after all. Jaehee genuinely enjoyed the tastes of different kinds of coffee. She wondered what blend they had, and ordered a cup.

The group’s dinner together continued on, and each of them found themselves enjoying it. Zen and Jumin refused to quarrel. Any time it seemed that they were about to come to verbal blows, they both backed off. V was finally able to talk more with Jaehee. He said he had always wanted to, since they had first met years ago, while she was Jumin’s assistant. Even Jumin and Jaehee were able to interact as friends, rather than former coworkers or boss and underling.

Dessert came, and Zen stared at the food on his plate, a soft-looking cake. It had to have been baked in the afternoon or so, for it to look so moist. He took a tentative bite of it, and felt it practically melt in his mouth.

“This is good,” he muttered. Jaehee agreed. V smiled at their reactions, taking a bite of the cake himself. Jumin didn’t eat any, but pushed the plate to V, who took his cake and ate it, too.

At the end of dessert, the waiter came by and handed them the bill. Jumin said he would pay for the entire thing, since it would cost too much for Zen and Jaehee.

“I can pay for some of it,” Zen said. “I’m not totally broke, anymore.”

“There were no prices on the menu. Usually, in a place that doesn’t have tags, the prices are too exorbitant for people who pay attention to them,” Jumin said.

“At least let me see it.”

“Alright.” Zen took the bill, looking at the final price, and his jaw dropped. Jaehee looked over curiously. Her eyes got wide.

“You’re not paying this bill,” she said. Zen nodded in agreement. It had come in at over 400,000 won. Jumin took it back, signing the bill and putting his card inside for the waiter. When it came back, Zen was once again annoyed at rich people.

The four of them left the restaurant, heading out into the night and back home.

“I had a good time. We should do this more often,” V said.

“I wish we could, but it’s hard enough getting a night when the two of us are both free. Next time we do, I’ll be sure to call you so we can dine together again,” Jaehee replied.

“Yeah, it’ll be fun,” said Zen. Jumin nodded in agreement.

“We’ll see you next time, then. For now, it’s time for us to go home. Have a nice night.”

“Good night!” The two couples split ways, Zen and Jaehee going to catch a bus back to their home.

 

Saeran found himself enjoying painting a little more. He would do the flower paintings, as usual, and then he would just draw and paint whatever was around him. At one point, he even did a sketch of Yoosung’s main. That one got hung up, too.

Some of his paintings stuck around his room, being hung up on the walls if he was actually proud of them, or getting rolled up and shoved into his closet when they weren’t quite where he wanted them.

Those not-as-good-as-they-could-have-been paintings were out of his closet. Saeran froze in the doorframe of his bedroom, staring at the unrolled bunch of failures and almost passable canvases, wondering how they got there. Then he saw his brother crawl out with another one. That explained it.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Saeran asked.

“I’m looking at all of your pretty paintings! You’re really good, you know.” Saeyoung unrolled the latest one, looking at it. “Lots of flowers.”

“I work in a flower shop. Put those back.”

“Alright, I will,” Saeyoung said, rolling the painting up again. “Can I have one to hang up in my room?”

“Pick a flower one,” Saeran told him, rolling his eyes. Saeyoung grinned, then tossed the one he had rolled up toward the door, going to pick up the rest of them. Once they were back in the closet, the older twin left, and Saeran double-checked to make sure they were all in order. He got the ones that were mixed around where they should be, and pulled out his latest work. He’d started it earlier that day, and stepped out for a shower. That was when Saeyoung had come in.

“Alright, back to work.” He worked for several hours more, until Miyoung came in and snapped her fingers in front of his face to get him to come out for dinner. She still wasn’t showing, but then, she was only about four months pregnant.

After dinner, Saeran went back to his painting. It was his best yet, one of Yoosung again. He was sleeping, in this one, a peaceful expression on his face. But, before he could start, a buzz came from beside him as his phone went off. He picked it up to see some texts from Yoosung.

He opened the messages, seeing ones asking him if he wanted to come over because Yoosung had a surprise for him, then another that said it would be there all night, and a third saying that Saeran was probably busy with his paints, and if he got the message, then he could come over.

Saeran had never gotten to his car so quickly. He threw his bag and laptop into the seat next to him, shoved his seatbelt into its slot, and tore out of the garage.

He drove like a madman down the roads, making it to Yoosung’s in record time. Pounding up the stairs because the elevator was too slow, Saeran nearly slammed into Yoosung’s apartment door. He stopped himself before he hit it, then knocked as calmly as he could.

As soon as Yoosung opened the door, Saeran kissed him.

“I’ve been ignoring you all day. I’m sorry,” Saeran said.

“Yeah, you have,” Yoosung replied tersely. He turned his head to the side.

“I got your message about fifteen minutes ago, and I came right over. I’ve been working on another painting of you...” that made Yoosung’s expression become harder, “but the real you is more important,” said Saeran, taking Yoosung’s hand.

“Come on in.” Yoosung led Saeran into his apartment by the hand that was already being held, then sat his boyfriend on his bed. Saeran could hear him rummaging around in one of his drawers, until he pulled something out.

“It’s smaller than what you usually do, but I thought this might help to inspire you a bit. It’s not as good as yours, though,” Yoosung said, holding out half a sheet of paper. It had a pencil sketch of Saeran on it. While it wasn’t the most accurate thing in the world, Saeran thought it was beautiful.

“This is amazing. You made this yourself?”

“I did! You like it?”

“Of course, I love it.” Saeran pulled Yoosung into a hug. “When we get our own place, if I ever ignore you for too long, shake me.”

“It’s a promise.”

Since Saeran was already over, he figured he would just stay the night. There were no commissions for him to do: they’d all been finished yesterday. He had work the next morning, but he also had his car. The two of them settled comfortably into different activities to pass the time. 

Yoosung was working on a paper for a summer term he was taking. He wanted to graduate on time, and that meant taking courses again that he had failed the first time around. Saeran watched him work between posts on Tungle. He’d joined the site as a joke awhile back, but started posting his art on it when Yoosung recommended doing so more recently. It wasn’t the best exposure, but he had a small fanbase. Saeran ran into a post he’d done earlier in the day, and checked the notes on it. One of them was a comment.

‘love love love the pictures of your boyfriend! You’re so talented!’ it said. Saeran smiled. Yeah, Yoosung was good-looking. The tags on the post were asking if they were soulmates. Saeran sent a private message to the commenter, telling them that yes, he and his boyfriend were, in fact, soulmates.

“Someone else likes a picture I did of you,” Saeran told Yoosung.

“Oh, yeah? That’s pretty cool. I’m not available, I’m dating a hot artist.”

“Thanks for the compliment.” The two of them smiled at each other, then went back to what they were doing.

Yoosung stretched back, yawning.

“God, I don’t think I can take many late nights, anymore. Ever since I fixed my sleep schedule to do better in school, I haven’t been able to go past one in the morning,” he said, crawling into bed next to Saeran. He snuggled against Saeran’s side, looking at posts with him.

They cracked up at memes, ran into a sad post about dogs (which made Yoosung cry), and, after a break to stop a sobfest, skimmed over old posts.

“How long has it been since you started posting your art?”

“Hmm… about three weeks, now? Since I started painting during school, and then summer came, and it’s almost June, right?”

“Right.”

“Yeah, so three weeks. And I have five followers who like my art.”

“That’s awesome!”

“Yeah. I might be able to make some sort of money-making career out of this.”

“And if you don’t, I’ll make enough to support us both.”

“I don’t want you to have to bear the financial burden on your own,” Saeran said, looping an arm over Yoosung’s shoulder.

“I know, but it might happen. Or we might end up with one friend or another until we can get back on our feet. No matter what happens, though, we’ll make it through together,” Yoosung said, his eyes closing.

He had too much faith in Saeran, as far as Saeran was concerned. At that moment, if it came down to it, Saeran would apply to big businesses for a job, if it meant that Yoosung could be better off and not have to worry. He wondered if he would be willing to handle that resolve, if it really came down to working an office job.

Now wasn’t the time to worry about such things. Saeran let Yoosung sleep for a bit longer, then woke him up to get ready for bed properly. He sent a text to Miyoung and Saeyoung, telling them that he was staying the night at Yoosung’s, then changed into his spare bedclothes while Yoosung was brushing his teeth.

They had reached the point in their relationship where they could comfortably share a bathroom regardless of what they were doing, mostly because of the week they’d spent together.

“Hey, Saeran, if we did get an apartment, where would you want to live?” Yoosung asked.

“I don’t know. Somewhere quiet.”

“Quiet is nice. Though, if I’m going to be a vet, then I should stay in the city. We can find a quiet building, at least, even if it’s in a loud neighborhood.”

“Yeah. Or I could soundproof it.”

“That works. You’d have to ask the building owner first, though.”

Saeran changed places with Yoosung, taking the sink as Yoosung changed into his pajamas. He cuddled Yoosung when they got into bed, curling up against his side.

“I can see why you like doing this so much,” he said, looking at Yoosung’s face, but the blond was already asleep. Saeran shrugged, then laid his head down on Yoosung’s chest, closing his eyes and breathing deeply, content to just let this peaceful moment continue.

 

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slight glitch at the time of posting, so i'm putting the end notes here, for all that im saying lololol.

comment if you wish :D:D:D


	30. Color in a Birthday

“It’s June 11th!” Yoosung came bursting into Saeyoung’s apartment early in the morning. Miyoung was in the kitchen already, making a special breakfast of the favorite breakfast foods for both of the twins.

“Yeah it is!” she shouted back. “Oh, but we need to be quiet. They’re still asleep. Here, take this to Saeran.” Miyoung handed Yoosung a tray of food, then sent him on his way to Saeran’s room. Yoosung handled it with care, opening the bedroom door carefully. He wedged his way inside, then approached the bed. Saeran was buried under the covers. Seeing him curled up under so much fluff made Yoosung realize that his room was ridiculously cold. A quick look at the thermostat showed the temperature at 50 degrees Fahrenheit, whatever that meant.

“Who uses Fahrenheit?” he muttered. He had never understood it. Setting the tray on the bedside table, Yoosung pulled the covers up a bit and crawled in. He snuggled against Saeran, looking at his face as he slept. His lashes were long and thick, brushing against his cheeks softly, like his hair brushed his forehead. Yoosung smiled, then kissed Saeran’s forehead. The sleeping man woke up, eyes fluttering open, to see a calm and happy face smiling at him. He smiled back.

“Yoosung, what are you doing here?” he asked.

“Well, I wanted to celebrate your birthday with you, and when I arrived, Miyoung had already made you and Saeyoung breakfast. It’s on the table,” Yoosung said. “We have a plan in place. We’re gonna go out and have a good together, and then come back here for a family dinner. Alright?”

“Sounds good. A day with you, and less time with my brother.”

“Yeah, he’s not stealing the spotlight from you, this time. Anyway, eat up! We have a big day to celebrate!”

“How is this big?”

“It’s the first time we get to celebrate your birthday together.” That made Saeran smile. Yoosung handed him his food, then set himself around the room, fiddling with stuff. Saeran raised an eyebrow.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Cleaning up. You keep this place so tidy, even I can tell when something’s amiss,” Yoosung said, holding a few articles of dirty clothing. He ran off to the bathroom to drop them in the washer. Saeran stuffed his face full of eggs.

Once he was done eating, he took a shower, brushed his teeth, and then went outside with Yoosung. He was wearing one of the fluffy shirts that Yoosung had bought him for summer use. On occasion, as they walked down the street, Saeran would wave his arms back and forth, enjoying the sensation of air moving through them.

Nothing was open that early in the morning, so the two of them went to a local park to walk around for awhile. They strolled along the pathways, enjoying the scenery, stopping for awhile as a flower opened up before them. Yoosung took a picture of it.

“What’s the picture for?”

“So you can paint it later, if you want,” Yoosung replied. They kept going, ending up on the other side of the park after a couple hours. Saeran knew the area well. There was an ice cream shop around the corner that sold really shitty ice cream. He wasn’t sure how they were still in business.

“Wasn’t there an ice cream shop around here?” Yoosung asked.

“It’s not a good one,” Saeran replied, leading Yoosung down several streets to another place that sold ice cream. It was infinitely better, and one of the best cones he had ever eaten. They arrived at the shop. Yoosung went inside, Saeran following soon after. A bell above the door rang as they entered.

“Welcome! What would you like today?”

“Mint chocolate chip,” Saeran said, then suddenly remembered why this shop had had such great ice cream. It was the one that Saeyoung brought him to when they went outside to get a treat. The order had been automatic, like his body still remembered this place.

“I’ll have strawberry,” Yoosung said, walking up to the counter. The man nodded, accepting Yoosung’s payment, and got them their cones. They headed outside again, with a ‘have a nice day’ to the worker.

“This was where Saeyoung took me, when we went to get ice cream,” Saeran said, licking his cone. It tasted just like he remembered, right down to the chocolate chips.

“Really? Wow, that was a long time ago, huh?”

“Almost ten years, now.”

“Do you want to come back here, sometime? Or would you rather not?”

“I think… I think we should come back here after dinner. With Saeyoung.” They kept walking along, until they reached an amusement park.

“Ooh, this place is super fun! I used to come here all the time with my parents and sister!”

“Really?”

“Yeah! I’ll show you all my favorite rides,” Yoosung said, dragging Saeran in. He paid for their admission, then went around to various rides.

It was Saeran’s first time at an amusement park. He enjoyed spinning around on the Tilt-A-Whirl, and riding the rollercoasters (which he ended up riding alone, as Yoosung was too afraid to go on after the first), and even enjoyed the rides that sent him high into the air.

As the pair walked along the midway, Saeran saw all of the booths that had prizes inside.

“What do you have to do to win those?” Saeran asked.

“That depends on the booth. Like that one is a ring toss. If you get the rings onto the bottles, then you win a prize. Some people spend a couple won on these games, some spend a lot more, depending on their desperation to win,” Yoosung explained. As he did so, Saeran saw a giant star plush. He stared at it, then decided to win it for Yoosung.

“Play to win, play to win! Shoot the ducks down and win a prize!” shouted the carnie. Saeran approached the booth.

“Here to play?”

“Yeah. I just have to use this to shoot the ducks down, right?” Saeran asked, picking up a toy gun and pointing to cardboard ducks on sticks.

“That’s right. Two won gets you five shots. If you knock down a duck, you get a prize. Knock down five and you get a big prize!” Saeran nodded, testing the gun’s weight. It really was a toy. He set the won down, then picked up the gun and aimed carefully for the ducks. The carnie got the game started, the ducks started moving, and Saeran adjusted himself accordingly.

Five shots later, he’d gotten six ducks. Two of them had gone down with the same pellet.

“Saeran, that was amazing!”

“I haven’t shot a gun in over a year, but I guess I still got it. Give me that star,” Saeran said, pointing to the star plush. The carnie nodded, utterly impressed, and got it down to hand to Saeran.

“It’s my birthday, but this is my gift to you. Thank you.” He gave Yoosung a kiss on the cheek, pushing the plush into his hands.

“Thank you,” Yoosung said, blushing. They watched as a little girl tried to shoot the ducks down next, but with no luck.

“Oh, I’m sorry little girl. Try again next time,” the carnie said.

“Would you like some help with your aim?” Saeran asked. The girl nodded. Her mother put two more won on the counter. The carnie got a bit nervous, watching as Saeran essentially took hold of the gun again.

“Alright, what you want to do is position your feet so that one is just in front of the other. Gun points directly in front of you. This gun is calibrated well, so you can aim right in front of you and shoot. Ready?” The girl nodded, aimed for a duck as it spun around, and shot. She hit.

“Nice!” She kept going, hitting three in total. Saeran grinned.

“You did really well! Better than I ever have,” Yoosung said. “Maybe if I had had you as my teacher, I could have hit one of them.” They moved on, leaving a grinning girl behind as she hugged her new stuffed dog close.

“We don’t have a place to put this,” Yoosung muttered. “Oh, well. Guess it’s coming on the rides with us.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” They stayed at the park until closing time, then headed home. At that point, Saeran had won --- with consideration to travel afterwards --- three smaller prizes, having bunged a couple shots here and there at various booths.

“This was a really nice time. What was your favorite part?”

“Riding that last roller coaster with you, when it went upside down. You were screaming so loudly, I thought you were going to lose your voice.”

“I did, too. It was scary.”

“It was kind of scary,” Saeran agreed. “But really cool.”

“Yeah, it was. On the second loop, I actually kind of started enjoying it.”

“Me, too.”

Before Saeran opened the door back into the apartment, he heard a crash from inside, then silence. He narrowed his eyes, wondering what else had broken in the time he had been gone.

“I swear, I leave these two alone and something bad happens. When I was with you for a week, I came back to three vases missing,” Saeran said.

“Wow.”

“Yeah. Saeyoung needs to get a handle on how he programs his toys. They cause way too many messes.” Inside was less of a disaster area than Saeran had anticipated. There was only one smashed thing, and it was a glass. Fairly standard, and nothing to be worried about.

“Where’s the dustpan?” Yoosung asked, eyeing the shards as he made his way inside. Miyoung came running out with it a moment later, Saeyoung carrying the broom.

“Right here!” she said, setting it on the floor. Saeyoung tossed her the broom, then held the pan steady as she swept the glass in. Once it was taken care of, the glass was dumped in a cardboard box filled with shards of glass and pottery.

Saeran had recommended it after having to go to the hospital for accidentally (not actually accidentally) stepping on a shard that had carved its way out of a trash bag. After being in the hospital for a few days, during which time he was alone for a few hours, Saeran had come home and said, “cardboard box.” It was in a corner of the kitchen ever since.

He grabbed the vacuum cleaner out of the closet, plugging it in and going over the entire living room floor to get any and all bits of glass that had been missed. Yoosung stayed on the couch, with his feet closer to the floor in case he had accidentally grabbed a bit of glass on his way up. Saeran switched heads once he had hit the floor to a thinner one and vacuumed out everyone’s shoes. He poked Yoosung’s belly with the suction, making the blond laugh.

“Saeran, that tickles!” he screeched. Saeran put the vacuum away, then came back to the living room and tickled Yoosung more. His fingers scritched across Yoosung’s shirt, hitting all the right spots.

“No-ho-ho!” Yoosung fought back, trying to tickle Saeran so he would desist, which didn’t work in the slightest. Saeran tickled him more, until Yoosung was laughing too hard to move. He collapsed onto the couch, and Saeran settled in against him, dragging the star plush underneath them.

“Are you alright?” Saeran asked.

“Yeah. It was fun.”

“That’s good.” They rested there until Zen walked through the door. Saeran looked up at the man with red eyes, confused. He sat up, and Yoosung soon followed.

“What are you doing here?” Saeran asked.

“Well, we figured that, since we’re all basically family for each other, that we’d all go out together. That’s why I wanted to take you out myself earlier,” Yoosung explained.

“I see.” Saeran’s mood lightened after that, now that he knew he wasn’t being intruded upon at random.

“Yup, we’re here. How’s your day been? You’re, what, twenty-two, now?” Zen asked.

“It’s good to see you. We went to an amusement park earlier. It was fun. And yeah, twenty-two, assuming Saeyoung isn’t lying.”

“Not lying!” Saeyoung shouted from his room. He came out to the living room, and sat down on the couch next to his brother. Zen sat nearby, and Jaehee followed him in soon after.

“Have you eaten today?” Jaehee asked.

“Yeah, we got breakfast in bed,” Saeyoung answered. Saeran nodded, getting up to get a drink. He returned with some water for him and Yoosung.

“That sounds delicious.”

“Miyoung is a good cook,” Saeran said. Yoosung was better, but he had a feeling that, if there was a homemade cake, Yoosung was the one to make it. He was good with making sweets, having gotten some practice in for Saeran’s sweet tooth.

The group talked for a bit longer, until a knock came to the door. Saeran went to open it, finding Jumin and V on the other side.

“I hope we’re not late,” V said.

“I don’t think so. I’m not filled in on what’s going on,” Saeran replied.

“We’re precisely on time. Happy birthday, Saeran,” Jumin said, handing Saeran a present. It was wrapped in green paper and tied with a red bow. V was carrying another one that was wrapped in yellow with a red bow. Matching presents wraps, but still distinctly for either Saeran or Saeyoung.

“Thank you. Come on in.” With everyone assembled, and Miyoung having arrived from wherever she had disappeared to --- Saeran was losing his edge, he’d have normally known exactly where she was --- the group got ready to head out.

“So, where are we off to?” Zen asked.

“Saeyoung wanted to try a restaurant that caters to rich people, so I got a reservation for tonight,” Jumin said. V handed Saeyoung’s present to him. Both he and Saeran opened them at the same time, wanting to know what they had gotten.

Saeyoung’s had a picture of Elizabeth 3rd, making him squeal in excitement. He hugged it close, showing it to Miyoung, and kept repeating, “My Elly,” over and over. Saeran’s included a gold pass to a place called Creme Glasee. He raised an eyebrow.

“That pass is for a high quality ice cream shop. The address is in the card,” V said. “It’s unlimited, by the way.” Saeran looked at the bottom of the present, finding a card that wished him a happy birthday with the address of the shop written at the bottom.

“This is amazing,” Saeran said. “Thank you.”

“It was the best thing we could think of to give you,” V replied, smiling.

“I’m glad you got the surgery. You made us both so happy, it’s really nice that you get to see it.”

“I agree. Thank you, both of you,” Saeyoung said.

They all headed out, taking a limousine to the restaurant. Zen stayed on the other side of the limo from Jumin, but he was less animose toward him. Anyone who had ever been in a room with the two of them, meaning everyone in the car, could tell that there was a lot less tension in the air.

Once they arrived at the restaurant, Saeran felt like he was severely underdressed for the place.

“Maybe we should go back,” he murmured to Yoosung, who was also dressed casually.

“I know how you feel. Not as deeply, but I definitely want to run off and change so people don’t realize that I’m not supposed to be here,” he said, pulling a hair tie from his wrist and putting his hair up. They held hands walking in, Saeran fervently hoping that no one would notice that he was nervous.

The man at the podium led them to their table, eyeing the company that Jumin Han was keeping, but shrugging it off. After all, no matter what they ordered, it would be paid off. As long as they didn’t make too much of a mess, Saeran supposed he was thinking. He opened his menu, looking at the choices. That night, there was beef stew, which he loved.

“What will it be tonight?” asked the waiter. Everyone ordered, Saeran containing his excitement for the beef stew. If it was high class, it had to be really good. They worked their way through the appetizers, the soups and salads, and finally reached the main course.

He took a bite of the beef. It melted in his mouth perfectly. The vegetables were cooked beautifully, full of flavor and supporting each other at the same time.

“Are you enjoying it?” Yoosung asked.

“Yeah, I am,” Saeran replied. This was an excellent birthday, the best he had ever had. Looking over at Saeyoung, he could tell that this was the best he had ever had, as well. They reached for their glasses at the same time, Saeyoung looking up at him. They clinked their glasses from across the table, then drank deeply.

 

The dinner ended, and everyone had gone home feeling good. Saeran stretched his hands over his heads, then dropped them, one landing on Yoosung’s shoulders.

“You two have gotten really close,” Miyoung said. “Can’t wait for the wedding!”

“Oh man, can I be your best man?” Saeyoung asked. Saeran rolled his eyes.

“We’re not even engaged,” he said.

“That’s right. Besides, what if I want you to be my best man?” Yoosung asked. Saeyoung gasped, then froze in place on the couch, hand against his head like it was a monumental crisis.

“Then I’m just going to have to split myself in half!” he declared.

“I’ll take Miyoung,” Saeran said, rolling his eyes. “And Jumin. And V. You can have Zen and Jaehee.” Yoosung nodded.

“That sounds good. So now that we have the bridal party, we just need an actual proposal so this wedding can actually happen,” Yoosung said, chuckling. They both knew that they weren’t in a place where marriage was a conceivable plan. The first step for them was getting through college.

“Then...” Miyoung said, coming up behind Saeran. She turned him toward Yoosung, affecting a deeper voice when she said, “Yoosung, will you be my husband?” Saeyoung caught on, taking Yoosung.

“Of course I’ll be your husband! Mwah!” He pushed Yoosung into Saeran, who caught him quickly.

“You two are morons,” Saeran said, rubbing a hand down Yoosung’s head and neck.

“This isn’t the best time for a wedding for us, anyway. Maybe in a few years, if we feel like it’s a good next step,” Yoosung said. Saeyoung nodded.

“It would be best for them to focus on what they’re doing now.” Saeran pulled Yoosung down to the garage so he could bring him home. They drove along quietly. Saeran knew that Yoosung was thinking about something, probably his siblings’ pushes toward marriage.

“Don’t worry about them. We should just go at our own pace, and not worry about what other people want us to do,” Saeran said.

“I know. I do want to marry you, have a life together, but now isn’t the best time. After college, after we get settled at our new apartment. We can think about that then,” Yoosung said.

“Right.”

Up in Yoosung’s apartment, Yoosung tossed the star plush in a corner. As soon as it hit the floor, both of them heard a tearing sound.

“You gotta be kidding. Well, that’s carnival quality, I guess. Cheap and mass-produced,” Yoosung said, shrugging. He looked over at Saeran, whose eyes were glistening as he stared at the plush.

“Saeran? Hey, it’s okay. Um, I can get it repaired. My mom is coming to visit, soon, and she can repair it then. So don’t worry about it.”

“I know, but...” Tears burst from Saeran, falling down his cheeks in tiny waterfalls. Yoosung knew he wanted to say more, but he was having trouble getting a proper breath into his lungs. Pulling the crying form against him, Yoosung stroked his head softly, kissing the top of his head around his hand, creating a safe place where Saeran could calm himself.

“You do so much for me, and I… I try but it gets fucked up!” Saeran sobbed.

“No, no, that’s not true. Saeran, things happen sometimes, but it’s not your fault. Besides, you introduced color to me. That’s never been a bad thing. You drove me to the hospital for treatment on my eye---”

“I fucked that up, too. Saeyoung drove you.”

“You came back to me. You’ve made me pieces of art, and I love them, and they’re not messed up at all. Saeran, if you ever do propose to me, I’ll accept. No matter what happens between now and then, I want to stay with you forever.” Yoosung lifted Saeran face gently, wiping away his tears. He kissed his eyelids, then touched their foreheads together.

“I love you, Saeran.” Saeran said nothing, just sat there curled against his boyfriend, arms wrapped around his neck, bringing his breathing back under control.

“I love you, too, Yoosung. I love you so much.”

 

The new term started, and Saeran walked to his first class. It was later in the morning than it had been last semester, but he still got coffee at the same time every day, enjoying the bitterness of the black and the sweetness of this class. It was a painting class, and while he had already started a career in the arts thanks to his job at the flower shop, he was able to pick up a lot of techniques that made his art better.

Yoosung kept going with his veterinary degree. He had decided to take online courses that he had previously failed, which put him back on track to graduate on time. Then he had started taking online courses that he needed, anyway, which would put his graduation at the end of this year, if he succeeded. Saeran supported him every step of the way.

Things were going pretty well. Even a news story that talked about various parts of a gun that had been found in different parts of a dump didn’t faze Saeran, as he instantly recognized them as having once belonged to him.

According to the news reporters, someone had decided to walk straight and gotten rid of their old life. Saeran nodded. It was accurate. After that story, more weapons and various things had started appearing in dumps and dumpsters, as people who wanted out of their bad lives started trying to do so in whatever way they found might help.

“And I only did it because I didn’t want to be incriminated with illegal carry,” Saeran said. Yoosung nearly choked on his instant ramen.

“That gun was yours!?”

“Yep. I got rid of it the same night I got rid of my black coat,” he said.

“Wow. You’re secretly inspiring millions of people to make their lives a little better,” Yoosung said, smiling.

“Yeah, I guess so. This is my legacy, huh?”

“And no name attributed, so if things go south, no one will hate you.”

“Thanks.”

“Sorry.” 

The stories about weapons and other random items passed on. Saeran heard a group of high school boys come into the shop, asking each other what they would dump if they wanted to move on. One of them looked around the arrangements, wondering which one he should choose.

“Hey, mister. What would you throw out?” one of them asked Saeran. He held back a laugh.

“An old coat. Lotta bad memories tied to it,” he said, pretending like he hadn’t already.

“Yeah? Cool. I’d throw out my old Gundam collections. Most of them belonged to my older brother, and mom says he’s a total deadbeat.”

“What can I help you with?” Saeran asked the student looking at the flowers.

“I need something for my girlfriend. Do you have any ideas?”

“Try… this one.” He pulled a pretty bouquet down and set it in the student’s hands.

“This one’s perfect!” Saeran ran the sale, having been introduced to the cash register some time ago.

“There you go. Let me get that wrapped up for you.” He wrapped some moist paper towels around the flowers, then put plastic over that layer, and handed it back to the student.

“Thank you!” The group ran off, and Saeran breathed a sigh of relief. It was always a bit scary when teens came into the store. They tended to be fairly dismissive and full of themselves. Saeran figured that much was alright, he just didn’t like that type of personality around him.

He avoided a fair portion of the students at University, too.

Looking at the calendar boredly, Saeran suddenly realized that it was almost October. That meant that it had been almost a year since he and Yoosung had first started dating.

“Fuck,” he muttered. He had to do something special for Yoosung, and instantly decided to make him a LoLoL costume for Halloween and conventions. He already had one, but the armor was old. Yoosung had gotten some new armor for his character, during the time that he had to actually play.

Once his shift ended, Saeran ran to a cloth store, looking for the right things to use for making armor. He got foam, the same stuff Yoosung had used for his, as well as paints, cloth, and sewing supplies. He hoped he had everything, but if something was missing, Saeran was sure he could find it some other time. After all, there were still a few days left before their anniversary. No doubt Yoosung had something spectacular planned.

 

Yoosung did not have something spectacular planned. He wanted to do something amazing, but he had already made Saeran a beautiful gift, full of nice art supplies and spare nibs. It would have to do, for now. He could only wait until their anniversary to be able to make the two of them a special dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think, at this point, there will be approximately three more chapters? maybe more, there are always other plot things to do and stuff. regardless, i have plans for three more chapters: anniversary, graduation/apartment, and the final chapter. stay tuned! :D:D:D
> 
> comment if you wish!


	31. Color in a Ring

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Saeran groaned as his alarm went off, blaring on the table next to his bed. He raised his head off his pillow and gave the alarm clock his signature death glare. It didn’t work. Alarm clocks don’t get scared.

He turned it off and rolled across the bed, waking himself up like he always had, since almost missing class in the first week last year. But, instead of getting out of bed annoyed at the day, he felt excited. Today was his and Yoosung’s first anniversary. They had, at this point, been dating for a full year. That was cause for celebration, and Saeran had been working hard in secret on a full set of cosplay armor for Yoosung. It was finished, as of last night and a lot of screaming at recalcitrant cloth.

Grabbing his bag, Saeran ran out the door to school, jumping in his car so he didn’t have to get stuck outside in the cold morning. He had forgotten how nice his black jacket had been, since it was insulated against the cold. It had allowed him to walk to school even as the weather tried to freeze his ass off.

He pulled up outside of Jaehee’s shop, parking in the street near the end of Yoosung’s shift. They had started going to school together sometime in the last semester. Saeran wasn’t really sure how, it had just happened, but it was convenient for them both. He went inside.

“Yoosung, good morning,” Saeran said, smiling. Yoosung grinned at the sound of his voice. Even though his back was turned as he put some stuff on a shelf, Saeran could tell from the slight jump of his body that his mouth was stretched with happiness. Yoosung turned around, then, smiling widely.

“Saeran! Good morning. Have you eaten yet?” Yoosung asked, making his coffee as Saeran pulled his card out.

“No, not yet. I was so excited to come see you, I almost forgot to shower,” Saeran said, chuckling. “It’s been a year now, huh?”

“Yeah, but it only feels like maybe a half year, at most. No one’s in here right now,” Yoosung replied. Saeran leaned over the counter, and they kissed. “I’ll get you a pastry.” He disappeared into the back for a moment, then came back with a fresh bun in the shape of a rabbit’s head. Somehow, between the kiss and him leaving, a cup of coffee had ended up in Saeran’s hand.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a bun, like a bunny. Jaehee let me bake the bread this morning, and I was thinking about a test I have later that has to do with rabbit care.”

“I see. It’s really cute,” Saeran said. A year ago, the words never would have left his mouth. He remembered the first time he had ever called a creation of Yoosung’s ‘cute.’ The reaction that his boyfriend had had was utterly adorable, as he blushed and hid his face, curling into his shoulders. Yoosung was doing it now, averting his eyes as Saeran took a bite out of the rabbit’s ear.

“It tastes good, too. If you get to sell these, they’ll be super popular.”

“You think so?”

“Have you tasted one?”

“Yeah, I had one because I had to make sure I got the recipe right,” Yoosung said. Saeran offered the bun’s other ear to him, and Yoosung ate it, nodding at the flavor.

“It’s sweet, but not overbearing,” Saeran said.

“That’s what I was going for. It came out perfect. I’ll have to tell Jaehee that they came out fine so she’ll try one. Ah! Is that the time? We need to go!” Yoosung bolted out to the back. Saeran heard rustling cloth, then saw his boyfriend come back out without his uniform on. Jaehee came out at that moment, taking over the front counter.

“Good morning, Jaehee. Have you eaten yet?”

“I have, yes. You?”

“Just got a bun bun from Yoosung. They’re good,” Saeran said, as he headed out the door.

“I’ll be sure to try one,” Jaehee replied. She looked behind her, at the tray of bun buns, as Saeran had called them, and snitched one as soon as she heard his car drive off.

 

“Congratulations, Yoosung. You’ve been acing all of your tests this semester,” said Professor Kim. “With the summer courses you took, you’ll be able to graduate next semester.”

“Really? That’s great!” Yoosung took the small packet of graded papers and journals, heading out of his second class of the day to go to the library. Saeran would already be there, though his second class didn’t start for a few hours. That was alright, though. Yoosung needed the study time.

He walked into the library, smelling its interior of old books and new, mingling into a refined pulp scent. Far in the back, away from prying eyes, was Saeran. Yoosung made his way through the library, a spring in his step that was antithetical to the falling leaves outside. He passed several of his school friends, who said hello, then arrived at the often forgotten table that was favored by Saeran for that exact reason.

“I just got out of class,” Yoosung said, sitting down. “My professor said I’ll be able to graduate next semester! Four years, not wasted!” He pumped his fist in the air.

“That’s amazing! I think I might do some summer courses, myself, so I don’t have to be at this school longer than I need to be,” Saeran said. “I’ll figure it out when I get there.” But what if he started failing courses? Or couldn’t get into summer programs? What if he wanted to switch majors again? Would that start this all over? And what if he decided to drop out of college? What then? Yoosung would be so disappointed in him. Saeyoung, and Miyoung, and Zen, and Jaehee, and Jumin, and V would all be disappointed in him, too.

Saeran shook his head, trying to get rid of the bad thoughts. Yoosung took hold of his hand, pulling it close before going to hug Saeran.

“Shh, it’s gonna be alright. You’ll be okay,” Yoosung said, stroking Saeran’s hair.

“What if I don’t graduate?” Saeran asked, shaking. He bit back a panic attack, but it kept welling up inside him, threatening to make him scream.

“Then you keep working at the flower shop, okay? But you’ll graduate, Saeran. I know you will. You’re in your second year, so if there was a chance that you weren’t going to graduate, it’s passed now. Most of our original class is gone,” Yoosung said. “You’re still here. Do you want to breathe?”

Saeran nodded at the question, and Yoosung put a hand on Saeran’s chest. Saeran did the same, feeling Yoosung’s steady heartbeat. As they matched their breathing, Saeran concentrated on taking deep breaths like his boyfriend, forcing his body to calm down, which got his mind to stop running in circles and panicking.

It took about fifteen minutes, a record that Yoosung remarked on. He kissed Saeran on the cheek, then opened his books, studying the material again to make sure he got it.

Saeran left for class, going to paint. He enjoyed this class, most of all. Today, they were practicing perspective drawing, using rulers to make things even. Saeran pulled up a few pictures of cities like the ones they were supposed to be drawing, to get a fresh idea of what a city street looked like.

“You’re using references? Mr. Park! Saeran’s cheating!”

“And how is he doing that?” Professor Park walked over, looking at the lines Saeran had drawn so far. He raised an eyebrow at the student who had called out.

“He’s using photos!”

“We discussed this at the beginning of the semester. Using references isn’t cheating. They’re how art got started, as man attempted to recreate what he had seen in the world. We’re able to use models and still-lifes without blinking. How is a photo of a model or still-life any different?” That shut Saeran’s classmate up. He smirked, then went back to drawing, looking at the reference photos and designing his own city.

When the class finished, Saeran packed up to leave.

“Saeran, can I see you for a moment?” asked the professor.

“Sure?” Saeran headed to the front desk, curious to know what this was about.

“I’ve been watching you work, and the work you produce is something to be admired. Tell me, have you considered submitting art to contests? It would be a good way to get some publicity.”

“I haven’t, no.”

“Then I’d like you to look at this one, and see if you can make a piece that fits the guidelines.” Professor Park handed Saeran a flyer, detailing the contest. Saeran looked at the requirements. All it said was that art pieces had to be of a photo. He nodded. That wouldn’t be too hard. All he had to do was take a photo and then draw it, right?

“Seems easy enough. Sure,” Saeran said.

“Points are awarded for excellent photos, as well as how well you recreate them.”

“I see. Guess that makes it harder.” Saeran thought for a moment. He wasn’t good at taking photos himself, but he knew someone who was, and who had been taking photos all summer. “Do I have to take the photo myself?”

“No, it can be someone else’s. But you have to get their permission first,” said the professor.

“Got it. I’ll enter. See you next class, Professor,” Saeran said, leaving.

“Good luck!”

With his last class of the day over, Saeran set to locating Yoosung, which wasn’t as hard as it sometimes was. He hadn’t left the table since Saeran went to class.

“Hey,” Saeran said, “day’s over. Time to go home.”

“Five more minutes?”

“Alright.” He wasn’t sure if Yoosung was talking to him or his mom, but either way, Saeran was fine with not moving for awhile. He pulled out his cell phone, preparing himself to call V. He dialed the number, leaving Yoosung alone for a bit and going to a window.

“Hello?” V asked, picking up.

“Hey, V. I need one of your photos to draw for a contest,” Saeran said.

“I see. Come over tomorrow. I’ll pull out some of my old portfolios for you.”

“Thank you,” Saeran said. He spent a few minutes telling V about how the semester was going when V asked, then hung up with a promise to stay over for dinner tomorrow, and he could bring Yoosung, if he wanted to.

Yoosung had packed his bag, in the meantime. As soon as Saeran returned, they headed out to his car.

“So where did you disappear to?” he asked.

“I called V. My art professor wants me to enter a contest where I have to draw a photo.”

“He’s the perfect person to call. If your professor starts crying when he sees the photo, then you’ve done it right. V’s pictures always make people feel something.”

“Yeah, they do. We haven’t cut your hair yet,” Saeran said, looking at the ponytail Yoosung was sporting. There was still bleach in the lower half of his hair, and the entire ponytail, but everything before the ponytail was brown. His swept fringe had brown moving past his hair clips, and even the locks of hair coming down over his ears had gone brown to that point, the bleach touching his shoulders.

“No, we haven’t. We should, though, huh? Your turn, then.”

“Yeah. We can go back to my place, and I can cut your hair there. Or I could just grab my present for you and we can go to your place?” Saeran said. For their first anniversary, there weren’t really any plans.

“I’ve been saving up money to take you out to dinner,” Yoosung replied. “We’ll go to your place and pick up the present you got for me, then we’ll go to our favorite restaurant and eat there. After that, we can head back to my place.”

“Sounds perfect. Oh, and V invited us both to dinner tomorrow. He offered, since I’ll be there to look at his photos anyway.”

“That sounds good. It’s been a while, huh?”

“Yeah, it has.”

They headed to Saeran’s, first. Yoosung waited in the car while he ran inside and grabbed the armor, which was sitting on a hanger in his closet. He stuffed it in a waiting box, then taped the box up and brought it outside with a little bow taped to the top. After putting it in the back seat, Saeran got into the driver’s seat, and started the car.

“What did you get me?” Yoosung asked, looking at the box. He tried to angle his glasses to see better, to no avail.

“It’s a surprise, but I think you’ll like it.” Saeran knew which restaurant Yoosung was talking about. It served a hot pot, with lots of different meats and vegetables that could be roasted and eaten. He pulled into the parking lot, and they went inside.

Saeran ordered for himself, and asked for a side of Yoosung’s favorite meat, knowing that it was expensive and that Yoosung wouldn’t get it for himself. There was no way he was letting his boyfriend take the entire bill by himself.

They grilled their food over the flames, waiting as the bite-sized chunks slowly turned brown, indicating they were fully cooked. Saeran grabbed a piece of the expensive meat, and held it out.

“Here. Eat some,” he said to Yoosung. Yoosung complied, blowing on it to cool it off, first. Then he ate the food, face melting from the taste as the meat melted in his mouth.

“It’s so good! But it’s so expensive.”

“I’ll take half the bill.”

“Alright.” A year of dating had taught them both that when one decided to do something, it was going to happen. They had stopped fighting over it some time ago. The waitstaff handed them a couple of beers, and the couple took the glasses up in a toast.

“To a happy year full of good memories,” Saeran said.

“And many more to come,” Yoosung finished. They drank deeply from their glasses, then set the beers on the table.

It was hours since they had arrived at the hot pot restaurant, and both Yoosung and Saeran were full and happy. They climbed into the car, neither drunk, then drove to Yoosung’s apartment.

Getting the box into the building and up the elevator was no problem. Getting it up the stairs was a bit more so, which they had to do since the elevator was broken. Yoosung kicked the elevator door.

“Stupid elevator,” he muttered. Maybe he was a little drunk.

They made it to the eighteenth floor. Around the third, Yoosung started laughing at the trip, then faceplanted on the landing of the fourth. After getting him off the floor and up some more, Saeran nearly tripped. They took a break from climbing at floor nine. Someone passed them going down. Yoosung got confused and had to stop to figure out who he was following. Saeran had had to whistle for him like he was a dog.

At the eighteenth landing, they made it to Yoosung’s apartment, going inside after he unlocked it flawlessly. Saeran set the box down, and Yoosung descended on it like a vulture. Saeran sat on the floor nearby, watching Yoosung’s reaction as he pulled the pieces of armor out of the box. At first, it was confusion, and then understanding dawned on him.

“You made me an armor set from LoLoL?”

“Yeah, I did. I figured it would be a good present, since the game was part of how we started hanging out in the first place,” Saeran said.

“I love it. Thank you so much!” Yoosung slammed a kiss against Saeran’s cheek, then started to try putting the armor on. Saeran rubbed his cheek, wondering briefly if a bruise was going to form from the sheer force of impact before stifling a laugh as Yoosung tried to figure out how the armor went together.

“Here, let me help you.” Saeran got the chestplate on, as well as the shoulder pads and bracers. They got the greaves and boots on, and the suit was complete with the circlet. Yoosung looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. Saeran took a picture of the full suit and showed it to him.

“This looks amazing! Oh, my hair,” he said, pulling at a strand.

“Right. Let’s get that armor off so I can cut it.”

“Alright.” Once they got the armor off, Yoosung sat in the kitchen as Saeran took scissors to his hair, cutting the bleach off first, then going for whatever was left that was still really long. Yoosung had his glasses in his lap, rubbing the red frames as Saeran worked.

Pretty soon, Yoosung’s hair was back to normal --- sort of. Saeran had decided suddenly that his fringes should be different, and cut and styled them to make Yoosung look more mature. There were two little cowlicks that came up that Saeran wanted to keep, though. They made Yoosung look better, in his opinion.

“There. What do you think?” Saeran asked, holding up a hand mirror.

“It looks so good,” Yoosung said. “How are you so good at everything?”

“I’m not that good.”

“You can drive, and do computer stuff, and cut hair, and paint, and arrange flowers, and you’re entering a contest that you’ll probably win.”

“You’re learning about animals. I’ve tried before, I just can’t get my head around it. And… are you jealous?” Saeran asked.

“Maybe a little?”

“Then, I should show you why you’re as good as I am,” Saeran growled into Yoosung’s ear, who whimpered.

“Wait, before you do, I still have to give you your present!” Yoosung went out of the kitchen as quickly as he could, diving under the bed to fish something out. Or… multiple somethings? Saeran watched as several wrapped boxes came out and Yoosung stayed under.

Five of them appeared in total. Yoosung handed the first one to Saeran, who opened it to reveal several sets of water colors. The next one had brushes, blenders, sponges, and pencils. After that were four new sketchbooks, then a bunch of books filled with poses and things to draw to get better at drawing. Finally, in the last package, was a box.

Saeran recognized the style of box. His voice instantly stopped working as his mind processed what would be inside. Yoosung was standing, squirming a bit as Saeran stared in shock at the box.

Opening it revealed a ring, and Saeran’s heart nearly stopped. He couldn’t stop the smile that split his face from appearing even if he had wanted to. Yoosung took the box from him, getting down on one knee like Americans did.

“Saeran, we’ve only been together for a year, but, I want to be with you forever. We wouldn’t get married until after we’re both out of college, but… will you be my husband, when the time comes?”

“Yes!”

 

The ring was made of silver, with three stones embedded into it. The two on the outside were purple, and the one in the middle was green. Saeran wore it to his meeting with V the next day, who immediately noticed it.

“What’s the ring for?” he asked, looking at the gems that were practically buried in the ring itself.

“Yoosung proposed last night,” Saeran replied. Yoosung grinned from behind him, taking Saeran’s other hand.

“This is wonderful! When’s the wedding?”

“After we graduate, so it won’t be for a few years.”

“That give me plenty of time to take the perfect photo for your gift,” V said. The three of them sat down on the couch in Jumin’s living room, looking at V’s old photographs. He had taken a lot of them.

“Which one am I supposed to choose?” Saeran muttered.

“I thought that this one would work. It’s complex, but I know you can pull it off. Take the color and black and white versions,” V said, flipping to a photo of a landscape. It was sunrise, taken while focusing on the dew clinging to sparse leaves while the sun was shining on the line of the first third. Mist was overtaking a mountain, and the entire picture was leading to the sun, even with the leaves in focus.

It was artfully done, to say the least. Saeran nodded. This photo would be perfect.

“Wow. I knew you were a good photographer, but I’d forgotten how good. Is this a newer one?”

“It is. I got it earlier this summer, when I was out on a hiking trip after my surgery. It was recommended that I look at screens as little as possible, so I went out to the mountains for a week and got some pictures.”

“Do cameras not count as screens?”

“I hope not.”

Jumin came home around seven. The four of them had dinner together. Saeran showed him the photo he was going to be drawing.

“That one’s one of my favorites. I’m excited to see how you do with it,” Jumin said.

“We have more news, too,” Yoosung said, fidgeting in his seat.

“Oh? What is it? Would it be related to the secret that Saeyoung called me about earlier? He said he would tell me if I let him play with Elizabeth.”

“Probably. I called Miyoung earlier and told her. We’re engaged,” Saeran said.

“You two are getting married?”

“Yeah, we are!” Yoosung exclaimed, hugging Saeran.

“Congratulations. Any ideas on the date?”

“After my graduation.”

“That sounds like a good idea. Does everyone know?”

“I told Jaehee this morning, and Saeran told Miyoung, so Saeyoung knows. And now you and V know, too. The only one who might not is Zen, but he probably does, by now,” Yoosung said, settling himself down as Jumin’s personal chef served their dinner.

“Well, this certainly gives us plenty of time to get you wedding gifts. Do you have an idea of where you would want to live? I assume you’ll be living together, when you’re married.”

“Of course. We don’t want a big place, at first, since it’ll just be the two of us --- and maybe a pet,” Saeran said. He had been wanting to get a small animal, like a cat or something.

They ate dinner together. Saeran took the photos home with him, checking his phone as he left. He saw that he had a text from Saeyoung, telling him to bring Yoosung with him when he went home. Saeran shot a text back, telling him they were on their way.

“I think Saeyoung has a surprise for us,” Saeran said. “He wants us both at home.”

“Okay. I still need to get back to my own home, at some point.”

“Right. I’ll get you there after.”

They headed for Saeran’s home, going inside to see a large banner with CONGRATULATIONS painted across it. There were two presents sitting on the table, one for Yoosung, one for Saeran.

“Congratulations, you two!” Miyoung said, smiling and clapping. Saeyoung whooped.

“Thank you!” Yoosung said. Saeran smiled, but he could feel himself running out of Emotion Points. He couldn’t keep this up, he was getting tired.

“Open your presents before Saeran falls asleep!”

“Okay! Saeran, are you doing alright?” Yoosung asked.

“I’ll be fine for a couple presents.”

“I can drive him home, after,” Miyoung said. “You should rest. It’s been an exciting time for you both.”

“Yeah, it has been. Alright, presents!”

They took the presents in hand, opening them together, and found that they had salt and pepper shakers in them. Yoosung lifted his new pepper shaker, observing the shape. It looked like it was giving the air a hug. Saeran noticed the same thing about the salt shaker, and set it on the table. He pushed the two of them together so they were holding onto each other.

“We though it would be a nice reminder that you’re going to be partners who support each other, no matter the differences, because you’re both needed to make life better,” Miyoung said.

“That’s right,” Saeyoung added. “Miyoung, you go ahead and take Yoosung home. I have some stuff to say to Saeran.”

“Alright.” Miyoung and Yoosung left. Saeyoung looked at his younger twin for a bit before speaking.

“I need to tell you that marriage isn’t hard. Being with someone is hard, and taking their feelings into consideration is hard sometimes, but being married and staying with each other isn’t. Don’t forget why you fell in love with him in the first place. That’s my best friend you’re engaged to.”

“I won’t forget. I doubt he’d let me,” Saeran said. This was the most serious he had ever seen his brother since they were kids.

“Good. Now, how about we see who’s the better marital partner. Mario Kart in five minutes.”

 

“Saeyoung’s talking to Saeran about what it means to be married, and honestly, I don’t think either of us can do that great of a job. We can tell you the basics, like make sure you listen to your partner, and don’t let him feel like he’s alone, but you’re going to have to figure out the nuances by yourself. Everyone is different, and that means that you really have to listen to Saeran and what he’s saying to make sure you do right by him.”

“I will. I’ve been doing my best, and he trusts me enough to tell me when something’s working or not.”

“That’s good. It took me a few months to get to that point, even with Saeran back home. Saeyoung knows how to deflect people effectively, but we’ve reached the point that we can talk about anything and know that our partner has our back. That’s important,” Miyoung said.

“I understand. I won’t abandon him. I just hope he knows I’m always here for him,” Yoosung muttered.

“I doubt he’ll be able to forget,” Miyoung replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
> 
> i legit just had to stop and freak out when i got to the fifth package. i was thinking 'art supplies, art supplies, what else is there for art supplies?' and then box.
> 
> comment if you wish :D:D:D


	32. Color in a Graduation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a sex scene at the end of the chapter.

Yoosung held his breath for a few moments, then let it out, watching as the president of the university gave a speech. He looked around at the large class surrounding him, every single one of them graduating that year, wearing blue and white robes. Because there were so many, the graduation ceremony had been cut into three days. Yoosung was on the second day. His eyes ended up searching the audience, but he couldn’t see his family or friends.

“And so, I hope you all put your educations to good use!” That was the end of the speech. Next, their names were called out, one after the other, until eventually, at the end of a long list of Kims, it was Yoosung’s turn.

He walked across the stage, heard the clapping that everyone was getting, and then heard his own family cheering loudly. He looked over to where the cheering was, and saw his mother and father, as well as Saeran.

Their eyes met, and Yoosung smiled.

Taking the temporary degree folder, Yoosung left the stage. He went back to his seat, waiting for the ceremony to be over. Eventually it was. Their valedictorian came up for her speech, then the ceremony was finally over.

Bouncing outside, Yoosung quickly located his family. They were standing together, a large mess of relatives, the same ones who were at Seollal. Saeran was standing with a small collection of younger cousins gathered around his feet, talking to Yoosung’s sister.

“Hey~!” Yoosung called. Saeran immediately ran over to him. The taller man launched himself into his boyfriend’s arms, kissing him.

“Congratulations on graduating!” Saeran said.

“Thanks. I don’t think I could have done it without you,” Yoosung replied, his arms wrapped around Saeran. The rest of the family came over to congratulate him, too.

In that moment, Yoosung felt truly happy. He had his boyfriend with him, his family surrounding him. It was as if nothing could possibly go wrong.

Then something did. Sort of.

“Mommy, I don’t feel so good,” said Yewon’s son.

“Alright, I’ll take you – oh!” He vomited on the spot.

“I guess you’d better go,” Yoosung said, chuckling. “Thank you for coming.”

“It was worth it, to see my little brother walk across that stage. Have a good day,” Yewon said back. She took her son and left the place.

“I see that things are going well for both of you,” Granny Kim said, once the group had moved away from the vomit.

“Yeah, they are,” Yoosung said. “We’re going to be moving into our apartment in a couple days.”

“I’ve got my truck all ready to help you move everything over.”

Saeran smiled, thinking back on the past year and all that had happened. First, he had managed to pass all of his classes. Yoosung had, too, often studying when they were hanging out together, in order to keep his grades up. Christmas had resulted in getting furniture and storing it at his parents’ place in order to have some for the apartment. Their second semester was spent looking for a place to live together. With Yoosung graduating that semester, they planned to move in together.

Something warm slotted into Saeran’s hand, and he looked down to find Yoosung’s in his own.

Soon, it was time to get moving, so they could get back home for the graduation party that was being held. Yoosung’s parents led the way, taking both their son and Saeran with them. The rest followed along, finding parking near enough to the Kim house that they didn’t have to walk forever just to reach it.

“Are you happy to have graduated?” asked one relative, catching Yoosung alone.

“Yeah, I am. I’m really glad to be starting the next part of my life with the man I love.”

“Love you, too,” Saeran said as he passed by.

“Uncle Saeran, Uncle Saeran!” shouted some smaller cousins, trailing after him.

The party was in full swing, but it was all family. Yoosung had told his friends that he would be hosting a second party for them, once he was moved into his new apartment. His graduate friends were excited to hang out with him one last time. His RFA friends were, too. Jumin had even promised to buy the apartment for them, not realizing that it was a rental place.

 

Saeran moved into the kitchen, hoping that he could somehow help with the cooking. The slew of cousins that followed him around made moving difficult.

“Hey, Mrs. Kim. Do you have anything that needs to be done?”

“Yes, I do,” she said. She knew that Saeran liked being alone, or at least doing something in a quiet place. “Can you chop these vegetables?”

“Uncle Saeran can handle knives?”

“Yeah, I can. I just have to be careful.” He grabbed a knife and a vegetable that needed to be chopped, slicing and dicing leeks and cabbages for a last-minute dish. The cousins watched him as he worked diligently.

“You’re really good at that,” one of them said in awe.

“Thanks.” Once the vegetables were chopped, Mrs. Kim took the chance to show him how to cook food. After all, Yoosung was going to need support from him. Saeran nodded, learning how to stew the vegetables just so, in order to bring their flavor out the best.

Everyone would have sat down to eat together, had there been room. Since there wasn’t, the entire family broke into groups, mixing and mingling as they pleased, eating small portions and changing conversational partners whenever they finished their platefuls of food.

Saeran found himself talking about the weather, politics, economics, and at one point, oranges. By the time the food was just starting to run out, Saeran’s head was spinning from the sheer number of words and topics.

Finally though, Yoosung arrived again, a small space of solace in the house.

“Thank god,” Saeran muttered when his fiance arrived.

“I wanted to get to you sooner, but you looked like you needed a break. Come on, you can hide out in my room for a bit.”

“Thanks.”

The two of them headed upstairs, where Saeran found Yoosung’s room to be blissfully quiet. He laid down on Yoosung’s bed for a nap. Yoosung laid a hand on his head, carding his fingers through Saeran’s hair as he rested.

“I’ll see you again soon, alright?”

“’Kay.” Yoosung left, returning to the party.

“Is Saeran alright?” asked a cousin.

“Yeah, he’s fine. He just needs to rest for a bit. Like your cousin Nomin.”

“Oh. So… is he sick?”

“Kind of. Saeran can handle crowds for a short while, but then he needs to take a break from people,” Yoosung explained.

“I see!” The cousins wandered off, playing quietly together. Yoosung watched them go, glad that they were able to understand.

 

The party ended, which left Yoosung and Saeran to start pulling everything together that would need to be moved to the apartment, in order to make the trip easier later. The apartment itself was unfurnished, which meant they had to provide everything they wanted themselves.

Yoosung didn’t actually have any furniture of his own, and Saeran only had things for his bedroom, which would be able to accommodate Yoosung well. That meant that the furniture they had stored with Yoosung’s parents was all for the other rooms of the house. At least it meant they had a couch.

The others in the RFA were lending vehicles to them in order to make the trip easier. On top of that, they were willing to help out personally. That meant, on the day that they were supposed to be going to the apartment to move in, Saeran and Yoosung had a small army of helpers.

None of the cousins were helping. Yoosung chuckled at the pun that would have arisen if they were.

“What are you laughing at?”

“If my cousins showed up, we would have an army of small helpers.” Saeran let out a short bark at that, then grabbed his mattress.

“Help me with this stuff?”

“Definitely!” They banded together to get furniture moved into the apartment, bit by bit, loading them into cars.

“Are you ready to go?” Saeyoung asked, as the last dresser was shoved into a van.

“Yep. Let’s do this,” Saeran said, looking over at Yoosung as he nodded. They all climbed into their cars, then headed off to the apartment. It was closer to the university than Yoosung’s, as well as a hospital that had picked Yoosung for a job.

At the apartment building, Zen whistled.

“This place is pretty tall, huh? Which floor do you guys live on?”

“The top floor,” Yoosung said, grabbing a box of stuff.

“The top floor!? Seriously?”

“Yep,” Saeran replied, staring at the twenty-three floor building. He sighed, then went inside with a box. The others followed, Jumin leading a small team of professional movers. The landlord came in to check on everything as it was brought in, making sure that nothing out of the contract that had been signed was being moved in.

“Are you sure that everything is in order?” the landlord asked.

“I’m sure. I checked everything against the contract twice,” Yoosung said.

“No lethal weapons?”

“Nope!”

“No drugs or alcohol?”

“You can’t have alcohol here?” Jumin asked.

“Not in this building. Something about keeping the students from getting too drunk,” Saeran said.

“I see.”

“Hmm. Well, I can’t find anything here that’s bad. Alright, have fun with this year’s lease.”

“Thank you, sir!”

They worked on getting things in the right places. Yoosung tore open a box, taking out a coffeemaker. Zen and Jaehee moved the bedframe into the bedroom. Saeran and Saeyoung dragged the couch into the middle of the living room, and Miyoung got the entertainment system in place. Jumin directed tables into places that were perfectly functional.

V adjusted their positions to aesthetic perfection, taking his time to get them in just the right spots.

Once the major furniture was in place, it was time for all of the figurines and shelf ornaments the two had amassed during their time. Between them, Yoosung had gathered more, but Saeran still had a fair portion. The tables that V had so carefully positioned were loaded up, shelves were given new friends. The walls were laden with posters and paintings. A spot was put in over Yoosung’s new desk for his degree, taken up by an empty frame. Once the paper actually showed up, he would be able to hang it there.

“I think that’s everything. Does anyone want to go out to eat?” Yoosung asked. Saeran nodded.

“That sounds like a good idea.”

“Alright. In celebration of you two getting your first apartment, I’m paying!” Saeyoung shouted. Miyoung bit her lip as the others cheered in their own ways. She did some quick calculations.

“Don’t worry. I’ve been saving up more than you realize. We can handle this dinner fine,” Saeyoung whispered to his wife.

They went out to a restaurant, then, a simple one. Jumin suddenly realized how it felt for his friends to go to the fancy restaurants he preferred, though in a different way. In his suit, he felt completely overdressed for the place, which was clearly a more casual area.

He shoved the feeling down and focused on the time he was spending with his friends.

Saeyoung asked for a table for eight, and they were all seated. Saeran realized that he had seven friends. It felt strange to him. About three years ago, he had had no one, save for Rika. Then he had his brother and sister-in-law, sort of. After them, it was Yoosung.

His life was finally getting better.

“Saeran. Let’s try ordering for each other this time,” Yoosung said, smiling.

“Okay.” The two of them ordered for each other, Yoosung getting a bowl of beef stew, and Saeran getting fried chicken. He had discovered Yoosung’s taste for it by accident one day, after walking past an American restaurant that was just called KFC.

Neither of them were sure what the K was supposed to be. They guessed Korea, but it didn’t make sense. Saeyoung just laughed and didn’t give him an answer when Saeran asked him later if he knew.

When the food arrived, Yoosung and Saeran switched their dishes. Saeyoung aww’d and recorded the whole thing, Miyoung pointing to the switch as it happened with a massive grin on her face. Saeran pushed her away, then flicked a vegetable bit at Saeyoung to get him to put his phone away.

“How long until your degree comes in, Yoosung?” V asked.

“It’s going to be awhile,” Yoosung said. There was no trace of animosity in his voice. Saeran took a sip of his drink to hide his smile. Maybe it had irked him just a little that this little ball of sunshine hated V so much. Now that that had passed, Yoosung genuinely seemed more positive, if that was even possible. Saeran wasn’t sure.

“Well, I think we should have a toast. To Yoosung and his graduation!” Zen said, raising his glass. The others did the same, and they all cheered as they drank.

 

It was getting late. Yoosung and Saeran were back in their apartment, rebuilding the bedframe so they could sleep. They both had the day off tomorrow, so even if it took them into the wee hours of the morning to get this done, they didn’t have to worry about resting up for anything.

“Hey, Yoosung. Once we get this finished, do you want to have sex?”

“Yeah! That’d be the best graduation present yet,” Yoosung said, smiling. He loved it when Saeran initiated sex between them. Usually, it had been Yoosung getting frisky, but more recently, Saeran had been asking for Yoosung’s attention. He wondered what had changed.

“Good, because I got you a gaming mouse for your computer, but I wanted to give you more than that.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you.” Saeran stared at Yoosung like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“No, I mean… you’ve been asking for sex more often lately. Have I been neglecting you?” Yoosung asked. Saeran turned his head away, then breathed out a sigh, coming to a decision. If a relationship didn’t have honest communication, then it would fall apart, right?

“A little. I used to be able to go for long periods of time without having to be around people, but now that I’ve been with you for so long, I’ve found myself wanting to be paid attention to by you more and more. You’ve been studying a lot, and sex requires full attention and a lot of contact, so...”

“Say no more. Tonight, I’ll take care of you, like I should have been this whole time,” Yoosung said. “Now, where’s the screw that goes into slot A?”

“Usually right here, but tonight the screw’s going into slot B, right?” Saeran asked, smirking. Yoosung blushed madly, searching for the actual hardware screw he was looking for. Once he found it, he got it into place, putting two pieces of the bedframe together. Saeran did his part, too, making things secure in the build.

They got it together without too much trouble, thankfully.

“I’m glad this wasn’t from IKEA. It would have been impossible, then,” Yoosung said.

“IKEA’s not impossible. You just need a background in carpentry first,” Saeran replied.

“Do you have a background in carpentry?”

“… No.”

“That’s alright. You’re still my precious Saeran.”

“Oh, I’m yours, huh?” Saeran challenged, leaning in toward Yoosung, who kissed him suddenly.

“Yes, you are,” Yoosung said huskily. Heat shot through Saeran’s body, pooling in his groin. Yoosung went for the mattress to get it on the bed, and Saeran followed quickly. They got the sheets on together, then prepared for bed.

Yoosung swung his hips a little more than usual on the way to the bathroom, pushed his plush ass out leaning over the sink to brush his teeth, until Saeran felt like screaming. When they were all set to go to bed, Yoosung grabbed a condom and a bottle of lube.

He turned Saeran to face him, then shoved him down onto the bed, climbing on top. There was a dark light in his eyes, as lust overcame him.

“You’re definitely mine, and mine only,” Yoosung growled into Saeran’s ear. Saeran keened at the words, already breathing heavily.

“Then make me yours,” he said, digging his fingers into Yoosung’s chest. Yoosung captured his lips in a hungry kiss, wasting no time in getting his tongue into Saeran’s mouth and lathing it, dancing with Saeran’s tongue. Saeran moaned, tangling his fingers into Yoosung’s hair, his other hand clenching the bedsheets.

Yoosung moved away from Saeran’s mouth and started kissing down his jaw toward his ear, nibbling on the lobe before continuing down his neck.

“Mm,” Saeran breathed, eyes closed, then his breath hitched as Yoosung ran across the sweet spot at the base of his neck. That made Yoosung pay more attention to the spot, kissing it lightly and licking at it, until finally, he bit it.

“Ah~” Saeran felt himself getting hotter and hotter as Yoosung unraveled him. He tried to lift his shirt, but Yoosung was in the way. Once his fiance had moved back, he threw the garment onto the floor, revealing his chest as he had so many times before. Yoosung returned to kissing Saeran’s neck, going down to suck at his nipple.

“Yoosung, I’m already --- I don’t need this,” Saeran said, voice strained.

“I can feel you,” Yoosung said, kissing down Saeran’s stomach toward his cock.

“Wh-- ah~” Yoosung palmed at Saeran’s bulge, then worked to remove his pants. He slid them down Saeran’s legs, and rubbed his face back up along his thighs, planting kisses as he went, until finally, he reached the tip of Saeran’s cock.

Yoosung reached out a hand, playing with the slit before giving it a couple pumps. Saeran moaned at the contact, then choked his voice off as Yoosung put his lips on it, going over the head. He stared directly into Saeran’s eyes and took the whole of his length in one go.

“Yoosung~ I --- I’m not going to… last,” Saeran gritted out, breathing heavily. Yoosung sucked hard as he pulled back, then dove into a fast bobbing rhythm, not wasting any time at all. Saeran let out a series of moans as Yoosung sucked.

Yoosung felt Saeran’s cock twitch once, and then twice, swallowing his entire length one more time and humming against him. Saeran screamed loudly as he came hard. Hot seed was eagerly swallowed by Yoosung, and the feeling of his throat constricting around Saeran’s cock forced his orgasm to go on longer.

When Saeran came down from his high, he found himself on his knees on the bed, instead of sitting at the edge of it. Yoosung was leaning over him, bare chest to his back.

“Are you ready for round two?”

“I’m ready,” Saeran said. He settled himself against the pillows as Yoosung inserted a lube-covered finger, grunting at the odd sensation. It wasn’t often that Yoosung took control, but he was certainly getting better at doing so.

Saeran gave Yoosung the okay, and Yoosung inserted the next finger, stretching Saeran wider. He scissored them, relishing the gasp Saeran let out as he did so. He knew it would only take the two, but it was better to be safe than sorry, so when Saeran was ready for the next part, Yoosung inserted a third finger, reaching as far as he could to find his fiance’s prostate.

“Yoosung~!” Saeran cried suddenly, his body convulsing. Yoosung watched his cock get hard again, grinning. His own cock was practically throbbing with anticipation, condom on, lubed up, and ready to go. Yoosung removed his fingers, positioning himself.

“Ready?”

“Ready,” Saeran said. Even with his moaning and sudden utterances of Yoosung’s name, Saeran was still cool and collected. Yoosung pushed in slowly, not wanting to hurt Saeran too badly, even though there was a small part of him that urged for him to go fast, to tear Saeran open and drink in his screams.

Those thoughts were quickly pushed to the side. While Yoosung liked getting treated rough, he knew from experience that Saeran wasn’t as much a fan of receiving pain. He preferred giving it. Yoosung shook at a memory of their last time together, when Saeran had plunged into him without much preparation. Two fingers, and off he went.

It had been glorious.

Yoosung started a steady pace, pulling back and thrusting in when Saeran was used to him being inside. He slowly increased his pace, going faster and harder, until Saeran had an arm on the head board to keep himself from slamming into it. Yoosung took his cock in hand, pumping in time with his own thrusts.

“Ahh~!” Saeran moaned loudly, getting close to his climax. Yoosung could feel himself getting close, as well. With a few more thrusts, he shoved himself deep inside Saeran, as far as he could go, and orgasmed, his cum splattering against the condom and dripping down his cock wherever it found room to flow. Saeran came again, onto Yoosung’s hand, panting heavily after.

Yoosung pulled out slowly, then slipped the condom off as his cock softened, tying it off and throwing it into the trash can. Saeran got up and headed to the bathroom, coming back with a couple warm and damp washcloths. He handed one to Yoosung, who used it to wipe Saeran down, getting the sweat off of him. Saeran did the same for Yoosung, making sure to clean off his cock and his hand so that they didn’t get too much semen on the bedsheets.

“And no mess,” Yoosung said, near exhausted.

“A little mess,” Saeran said, dabbing at a few drops that had spilled over Yoosung’s hand.

“A little mess,” Yoosung agreed. The two of them settled down to sleep, Yoosung curled against Saeran’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. It had been a calming sound to hear during finals week, as his overworked brain tried to come up with solutions to imaginary problems, trying to figure out how to make cat vaccines work for chinchillas or whatever it had been attempting, and the beating heart provided a constant rhythm for Yoosung to listen to.

“Love you,” Yoosung whispered quietly. Saeran stroked his hair as Yoosung fell asleep.

“Love you, too, Yoosung.”

Saeran found himself unable to sleep, and it wasn’t just because he was starting to feel Yoosung’s work as his nerves realized they’d sort of been attacked. It was more because of where he found himself.

He had a fair number of friends, more than he had ever imagined himself realistically having. He had a boyfriend --- no, a fiance --- who loved him dearly. He had a brother back at his old home. He had multiple places that weren’t home anymore, and a new place that he already loved to call home.

All of this had transpired in less than two years. After the years of torture from his mother and his so-called savior, it was almost too good to be true. If it hadn’t been for the things that had made life tougher, Saeran would have called all of this a dream. For a fleeting moment, he felt like he was going to wake up, find a rope tied around his ankle again, or a gun resting comfortingly in his black jacket’s inner pocket. He placed a hand on Yoosung’s head, reminding himself who it was he was with.

Nothing would go so wrong that he couldn’t handle it, as long as he had Yoosung by his side. Tomorrow would be their day to get used to their new place together, to bond in a new situation. In a few days, Yoosung would have some friends from school over to celebrate graduating together.

Saeran suddenly realized that he didn’t actually have any friends outside of Yoosung’s. Would he have to change that? Probably. Yoosung wasn’t there anymore to drag him to social events or introduce him to fun and cool people. Saeran would have to do that himself. The question was: could he?

He knew that it was healthy to have friends of his own, that having a life outside of his partner was a good thing, as it would give him a chance to have a break from his partner and make their reuniting sweeter, or something. Doing so required socializing. Of his own accord.

How the fuck was he supposed to do that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you decided to skip the sex, Saeran spent the last few paragraphs thinking about how different his life is now, nearly two years since he met and started dating Yoosung. Then he realized that he would have to make his own friends because Yoosung wasn't going to be on campus anymore to help him out.
> 
> Does Saeran Choi is social?
> 
> comment if you wish :D:D:D and follow me on my tumblr, @scriberat :3


	33. Color in Memories

Saeran wandered through the gallery, taking one step after another and observing two galleries that stood alongside each other. One was much smaller than the other, having five drawings hung up, but those five reflected five photographs that were hung up on the other side.

V approached him, smiling.

“How do you think this turned out?” he asked. Saeran smiled, looking at V’s photographs and his drawings of them.

“I think they turned out well. There have been a few people saying that, had it not been for my drawings being fewer in number, they wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.”

“I was thinking the same thing. I can’t see as well as I used to. Even so, both Jumin and I agree, your drawings are top-notch,” V said, then laughed. “Jumin is a bit jealous of your skills.”

“He’s getting better, himself. All those drawings of Elizabeth 3rd he’s doing are helping a lot,” Saeran said.

“I’m glad you think so. Perhaps, one day, I can sell my drawings of her and spread Elizabeth’s beauty,” Jumin said, coming up behind V.

“Why not just give them away?” Saeran raised an eyebrow, seeing the look that came into Jumin’s eye. It appeared whenever he was explaining economics or finances.

“If something is given away for free, people assume it has no value. However, putting a price on it means people see that the object being sold has a definitive worth,” Jumin said succinctly. It made sense to Saeran. He nodded, as Jumin got a call and left him and V to take it.

“Still working?”

“No, he’s… planning a few things. Can you keep a secret?”

“Yeah, I can. What is it?” V got close to Saeran’s ear. Clearly, whatever this was, it was hugely important.

“We’re getting married in a month. Eloping. We’ve already picked a date that’s usually free for all of our friends. The last thing to do is invite you all.” V muttered the date, and Saeran pulled his phone out to record it in his calendar.

“Got it. Should I tell Yoosung?”

“Not yet. Let us invite you all personally.”

“Okay.”

“I should go and mingle some more. It was fun talking with you, Saeran,” V said. “We don’t get enough chances to hang out.”

“Yeah. I’d like to hang out with you more,” Saeran said, stuttering through the sentence slightly. It was so strange to him that V would want to hang out with him. He guessed it was because he looked different and was clearly recovering from being around Rika for so long.

Shaking the thought of her out of his head, Saeran found the last of his drawings --- or rather, the first. The photo on the other side showed a landscape, with a mountain and a sunset. The drawing of it was hardly perfect. Everything was in approximately in the right place, but ---

“Whoever did this still needs some practice. The trees are out of alignment, the sun should look brighter, the mountains aren’t quite the right shape,” said someone nearby.

“I agree. It’s the first in the collection, but it’s definitely the worst,” Saeran said.

“Indeed.” The two of them spent the next several minutes pointing out all of the minute details of the art piece. Saeran decided to redraw it, the next chance he got.

“My name is Lee Park. Yours?”

“Saeran Choi.” He could see the color drain out of Lee’s face. “I’m going to redraw this, and correct those mistakes. It’ll come out better the second time.”

“R-right. Well, if I had known that you were the artist, I...”

“You wouldn’t have spoken your mind. My boyfriend always says he can tell when I’m trying not to hurt him, and when I’m being fully honest. He says he prefers the latter, and I do, too. So, if you have anything to say about these pieces, tell me.”

“The vase of flowers is a tired subject. Everyone paints flowers.”

“I paint flowers for my job. Are there any technical issues?”

“Not that I can see. You clearly have a practiced hand with flowers, at any rate.”

“Thank you.” Saeran looked around for a moment, feeling that Yoosung was nearby. It was hard to tell, what with everyone around having brown hair, including him. But, his was a fairly distinct shade, in that it was so utterly average Saeran could pick it out from the natural highlights and duller colors surrounding it.

He was about ten feet away, looking at another drawing Saeran had done. For that one, V had chosen someone to photograph. Most people didn’t know who it was, but anyone would recognize his face. Saeran put his arms around his fiance as they looked at a picture of Zen.

“Even in a drawing, he still looks perfect,” Yoosung said.

“Right? He tried to buy that off of me when I took a picture of it and put it in the group chat.”

“I remember that. God, he tried so hard. It was kind of hilarious.” Yoosung chuckled, lacing his fingers with Saeran’s. “You know, you’re not hard to pick out in a crowd. Even if Saeyoung were here, you’d still be the redhead who wasn’t bouncing all over the place.” Saeran laughed.

The two of them moved on through the gallery, passing Saeran’s tiny collection and moving onto the bigger photographs that V had taken. There were a lot of landscape pieces. Fields, mountains, even a view of the ocean from high above. Saeran was pretty sure he had been snapping pictures from planes, too. There was no way he could get so far above the ground otherwise.

“Oh, look at this one!” Yoosung said, pointing to a photo of a city landscape. Saeran had seen that view before. It was what Jumin saw all the time from his house, the city sprawling beneath him, buildings arcing just as high as his own.

“It’s amazing. Even in photo form.”

“Right? V’s always been good at taking pictures that make people feel something, and inspire emotion. Like the one over there. It’s of a dreary fall morning and tends to make people cry because they feel like they’re running out of time,” Yoosung said, pointing to a darkly colored photograph. From that distance, Saeran felt a slight sense of despair. He decided not to look at it close up.

“I’ve always admired V’s photographs,” said Lee, coming up to them. “It’s something about the way they speak to people that stirs their hearts. I just wish he made more public appearances.”

“V has always liked his privacy. Besides, how much can an artist influence you if you don’t know anything about them?” Yoosung asked, smiling. Saeran poked his cheek, causing the shorter man to look to the side in that way he did when he was seeking out Saeyoung, fast and deliberate.

“That is true. Is something wrong?” Lee asked.

“Nothing’s wrong at all. You really like art, huh?” Saeran said, pulling himself off of Yoosung. Now that he knew someone was watching, and someone he actually sort of knew, his anxiety was demanding some personal space.

“I do. You said you paint flowers for your job, right?”

“That’s right. I can do a painting a day, so that’s seven in total, to make sure they maintain good quality. Why?”

“I’d like to buy one of those paintings. Such things deserve to be shared with the world.” Saeran searched Lee as best he could, trying to see if he was anything like Rika. But it didn’t feel like anything was missing, or that he was hiding anything. From what Saeran could tell, Lee just had a genuine enjoyment of art.

“Sure. There’s a flower shop near the hospital. That’s where I work. You can come in and buy a bouquet. I’ll get some reference photos of its best angle, and paint it.”

“That’s how it works?”

“That’s right.”

“And what if I had a different photo for you to draw?”

“A different one?”

“Yes. I’d… like a picture of…” Lee was stammering. Yoosung leaned in toward Saeran’s ear.

“His waifu. Betting fifty won,” he whispered.

“You’re on. It’s gonna be a pop star,” Saeran whispered back.

“My soulmate. She passed on a couple years back. I… have color photos of her. If you could do it in color, that’d be fantastic, even though I can’t see it anymore.”

“Oh. Yeah, sure thing,” Saeran said. Now he felt like an ass. Yoosung buried his head into Saeran’s back, shaking a bit. He wasn’t laughing, not if the slight dampness Saeran could feel was any indication.

“Thank you. I have photos of her. This one is my favorite,” Lee said, showing it to Saeran. It was of a beautiful young woman, smiling radiantly. The way the sun was coming down on her face made her eyes light up. Saeran nodded. He would make sure that this was the best painting he had put out yet.

“I’ll do it.”

“Great! What’s your price?” Saeran named it, not telling Lee that the price he had named was half what he usually charged. Yoosung traced ‘softie’ into his skin, then patted him on the shoulder.

With half of that up front, and the photos sent to Saeran, Lee left the two of them alone. Yoosung came out from hiding, wiping tears away from his face as he did so.

“That was really nice of you,” he said, “letting him have that for half the price.”

“It was nothing. I make plenty between my job and commissions for rent, anyway. Besides, you make way more than I do. I can afford to let the price slip sometimes.”

“That’s true.” The two of them kept walking along, until they got notifications from the group chat. It was a message from V.

 

“They’re seriously eloping? With everything that Jumin can afford, he can’t even be bothered to pay for a proper wedding?” Saeyoung exclaimed. Miyoung was smiling widely, holding Minjun and Sejun as they nursed.

“They could do that, or they could make it special with just their friends. You know as well as I do that it’s not the stuff that makes a life worth living. It’s the people.”

“Yeah, I know. Cars can disappear without a thought, but losing the love of my life is… unacceptable!” Saeyoung stretched his voice on the last word, causing Miyoung to lose it. The twins started wriggling around.

Saeyoung smiled at them softly, dropping down and taking a tiny hand in his. He could still remember the panic he had felt as Miyoung had started contracting.

It had been one hell of a day, with the toy shop being busier than usual, when Miyoung had come in and approached Saeyoung, who had been working the register at that moment.

“Saeyoung,” she said, clutching her belly, breathing hard.

“Hang on just a minute. I have a customer,” Saeyoung had said. Normally she understood. That time, he hadn’t.

“Can’t wait. The baby is --- auck!” Miyoung nearly fell, gripping the counter hard.

“Miyoung? Oh my god, the baby! Uh, store’s closed, come back tomorrow!” Saeyoung shouted, shooing everyone out and shoving his wife into his car. He buckled her quickly, then jumped over the hood in a maneuver he hadn’t had to pull off since the agency. Jumping into the driver’s seat, he prepared to drive faster than he ever had before, then tore off down the road to the hospital.

After successfully dragging Miyoung inside, Saeyoung started screaming for a nurse. One showed up in a moment with a wheelchair, telling him to calm down as she took Miyoung to an open room. Saeyoung followed quickly behind, not wanting to leave Miyoung at this particular moment.

Inside the room, Miyoung was laid out on a bed, and dressed in a hospital gown as her clothes were taken to be washed.

“Alright, now I need you to push. Are you ready? Push!” the nurse said. Saeyoung took Miyoung’s hand in his own, grasping it tightly as she pushed the baby out of her body. In that moment, with the pain etched on her face mixing with a fierce determination, Saeyoung saw why it was that men considered their wives goddesses, or forces of nature.

“You’re doing great, Miyoung,” Saeyoung said, rubbing circles on the back of her hand.

“God, this hurts,” Miyoung gritted out, pushing again. She breathed in and out like they’d been taught in a parenting class Saeran had told them to attend.

“Ah, I should tell the others!” Saeyoung pulled his phone out, throwing a quick ‘mi in labor’ to the group chat that had been started so they could all keep track of each other’s lives more easily.

His phone exploded with notifications, until he turned it on silent. Then, at least, it wasn’t going to disturb anyone.

Saeran was the first to arrive, out of breath and huffing, with Yoosung hot on his heels. By that time, Saeyoung had had to leave the room. He was exhausted himself, he couldn’t imagine how it was for Miyoung.

“H-h… how is she?” Saeran asked, catching his breath. Yoosung shoved some flowers at Saeyoung.

“She’s doing fine. There were some complications earlier, but the nurses said that’s normal.”

“Complications are normal?”

“I guess so. Miyoung told me a week ago that she had had to visit the doctors to check on the baby a few times because things were starting to go wrong. Guys, I… I don’t know if we’ll be having any kids after this one. She’s too precious. I don’t want to lose her,” Saeyoung said.

“That’s alright. You’ll have her and this one, and that’s more than enough, right?” Yoosung said, hugging Saeyoung. He broke down crying. Saeran joined the hug immediately after, rubbing the back of Saeran’s head.

The three of them moved to seats in the waiting room, Saeyoung trying to stop crying, Yoosung helping him wipe his tears away, and Saeran sitting awkwardly nearby, the flowers now in his lap.

“She’ll be okay. She’s had to deal with you for years, now. Miyoung’s strong enough to handle anything life throws at her,” Saeran said. It made Saeyoung laugh.

“When was the last time I got to hear you make a jab at my existence?”

“It’s been too long.”

“Anyway, we came by to drop off the flowers,” Yoosung said. “I need to get home, and Saeran still has work to get to.”

“We’ll see you soon. And your kid,” Saeran said, handing the flowers back. Saeyoung had heard him talking about them and their meanings often enough to know that the geranium, for determination, alongside the baby’s breath were his way of saying ‘good luck.’

“Thanks for the flowers,” he said, as they walked out. Saeran looked back and smiled, then disappeared.

Zen and Jaehee stopped by with muffins and Ph D Pepper, a couple hours later. Miyoung was still in labor, and Saeyoung felt like he couldn’t even sleep.

“Here. You need to keep your strength up,” Jaehee said, handing Saeyoung a muffin. It ended up on the chair next to him, where the flowers from earlier were sitting. Zen pursed his lips, then tore off a bit of the muffin, shoving it into Saeyoung mouth, where it was chewed and swallowed mechanically.

“Saeyoung? Hey, Saeyoung! Wake up!” Zen said loudly, snapping his fingers.

“I don’t think that’ll help. Let’s try the Pepper,” Jaehee said, cracking the bottle open. She held it under Saeyoung’s nose, but to no avail.

He couldn’t sleep, but moving wasn’t possible, either.

“Should we call a nurse over?” Zen asked.

“I think so. Nurse?” Jaehee said. A nearby nurse came over and took a quick look at Saeyoung, measuring his pulse and his breathing.

“He’s fine, just in shock. His wife has been in the delivery room for over six hours, now. It takes its toll. Most fathers pace around nervously while their wife is giving birth.”

“So he’s okay?” Zen asked.

“Yes, he is.”

“Alright.” The nurse went on her way, and Zen bent down to look at Saeyoung again. He sat there, not blinking, but there was moisture in his eyes. A tear formed, then rolled down his cheek. It made Saeyoung react, as he twitched his fingers, then slowly and robotically wiped the tear away.

“Sorry for making you worry about me,” Saeyoung said quietly.

“Hey, there’s no need to say that. Of course we’re gonna worry about you. That’s what friends do!”

“That’s right. Any time you’re feeling down, you can count on us to be there for you,” Jaehee said.

They had left soon after, with Saeyoung having said nothing about what had happened. He felt so stupid, shutting down like that. Executive dysfunction was obnoxious in its timing, but when his wife was giving birth? He needed to pull himself together.

Jumin and V had come in next, for a brief moment, poking their heads in to say hi, as Saeyoung was allowed back in the delivery room to comfort Miyoung. She had lost consciousness for a bit, but now that she was awake again, she was back to pushing.

“I can see a head!” shouted a nurse. The baby slowly came out, and was taken care of by the nurses when it finally exited the vaginal canal.

“There’s one more,” said the doctor. Saeyoung started. He and Miyoung had wanted the whole baby thing to be a surprise, so aside from medical checkups, they knew nothing about the developing fetuses themselves, or even that there were two.

The second one took another hour to be born, but it, too, slid out, and started crying. Miyoung lay back on her pillow, tears streaming down her face, hair plastered to her skin from the sweat. The nurses took to cleaning her nether regions, and the twins were carted off to be washed up.

After she had gotten some rest, Miyoung and Saeyoung had named the twins Minjun and Sejun. Saeyoung pressed a small kiss to each of their heads, calming them as they continued wriggling at their mother’s breasts. He then kissed Miyoung, and saved the date of Jumin and V’s wedding.

 

“Can you believe this is already happening?” Yoosung said, staring at the empty altar. Saeran nodded, looking from the preacher to the aisle, and then the doors on the other side.

“It feels like we were just invited,” he replied. His eyes fell on Min and Se, as the twins had come to be called. They were sleeping peacefully, one held by Saeyoung, the other by Miyoung.

The doors opened, music started playing, and the six people who had gathered for the ceremony stood to watch the couple come down the aisle. Saeran was as far from Zen as possible in the space, holding Elizabeth 3rd.

Jumin and V were dressed in matching suits, though their ties differed, with the former’s being aqua, and the latter’s being blue. Saeran thought it was an adorable switch, to wear the other’s usual color. They walked down the aisle in perfect unison, then stood at the altar, facing each other. V had long since left his sunglasses behind, and looked at Jumin.

It was obvious to everyone there that the two of them loved each other more than anything in the world. Elizabeth meowed softly, wanting to get out of Saeran’s arms.

“We are gathered here today to see the joining of these two fine men in holy matrimony...” The preacher went on with the ceremony, until it was time for the vows.

“Please repeat after me,” he said to V. “I, Jihyun Kim, do take this man to be my husband.”

“I, Jihyun Kim, do take this man to be my husband,” V said.

“To have and to hold, to love, and cherish.”

“To have and to hold, to love, and cherish.”

“For richer, or for poorer, in sickness, and in health.”

“For richer, or for poorer, in sickness, and in health.” At that moment, Elizabeth broke free from Saeran’s arms.

“Elizabeth!” he hissed, as the cat ran up to V and Jumin, purring and rubbing up against them.

“And to love and care for Elizabeth as much as I do you,” V added, chuckling. “’Til death do us part.”

Jumin repeated the vows himself. V and Jumin both nodded. Jumin pulled his out, first, sliding it onto V’s finger.

“With this ring, I thee wed,” he said. V did the same, repeating his words.

“Then, by the power vested in me by God, and by Korea, I now pronounce you husbands. You may kiss.”

The two of them kissed, chaste but passionate. Then Jumin picked Elizabeth up, walking with her in one arm down the aisle, holding V’s hand with the other. Their friends followed them out, and that was it.

V and Jumin were married. Yoosung cheered as they left the building, hugging Saeran tightly.

“This is awesome!”

“Yeah, now it’s just us.”

“We’re going to do more than elope. I want a real wedding, with all of my friends and family there.”

“Does that mean that you’re inviting the mysterious country side cousins you mentioned a couple times?” Saeran asked.

“Maybe!”

“I’ll try to make some more friends at school so I don’t end up having no one to invite,” Saeran said.

“That’d be super!” The two of them headed home. Since it was a quick wedding, there was no reception, though everyone did get the newlyweds a gift.

Saeran had taken a picture of them, painting them both together. Yoosung offered to let them take Elizabeth to the vet anytime.

“I might not be able to help her at that moment, but I can always squeeze in one more appointment.”

“Thank you, both of you,” V said. He brushed his hair out of his face, eyes sparkling.

 

Back home, Saeran looked at the nearly finished color painting he had done of Lee Park’s soulmate. It was the best he had done yet. Even V’s careful eye had trouble finding anything the matter with it. He picked it up, finishing the last few details in an hour, then looking over the entire thing.

“I think it’s finally ready,” he said. Yoosung rolled over from his desk, looking at the picture.

“She really was someone beautiful, huh?”

“Yeah, she was.” Saeran called Lee, telling him that the painting was finished. Lee thanked him over and over again, coming by to pick it up.

Saeran took the painting from the bedroom where he and Yoosung had their bed and desks out to the living room, which had two couches, a flatscreen TV, and an entertainment system.

He still kicked Yoosung’s ass at Mario Kart.

Lee stopped in soon after, giving Saeran the second half of the payment. Saeran handed him the painting, then ended up on the floor as Lee sank down in tears.

“Hey, it’s okay. Why are you crying?” Saeran rubbed Lee’s back, not sure what else to do.

“Because it’s as beautiful as she was. Thank you so much for this,” Lee said, stifling a sob. Yoosung poked his head out of their room, and his eyes widened at the sight of their guest bawling on the floor. He launched himself at the kitchen, pouring a glass of water and moving as fast as he could without spilling any.

“Here, drink this,” Yoosung said. Lee did so, draining half the glass in one go.

“Thank you, both of you. You’re very kind people,” Lee said.

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s the least we could do for you.”

Once Lee had calmed down, he left their apartment. Saeran took the glass back to the kitchen as Yoosung checked the place over. It was something he had started doing, ever since he had gotten into LoLoL for a bit and forgot to clean the house for three days. He was not dealing with rotting food again.

Satisfied that everything was where it was supposed to be, Yoosung got onto his computer, checking emails. Saeran watched him work, going to take care of his own stuff. It was certainly something to see the lazybones kid he had known for two or so years be so responsible.

When Yoosung had first organized their chore chart, Saeran had asked him who he was and what he had done with Yoosung. That made his fiance laugh. Yoosung explained that it was a system his mother had put in place, when he was still living at home. It divvied things fairly between the family members, so that no one had to do more than their fair share. Chores were also rotated, so that no one was stuck with the same job for too long.

Thanks to that, Yoosung knew how to do laundry and dishes at the same time (sort of) as well as get his homework done.

It was Saeran’s turn to do the dishes, this time. He filled one of the two sinks they had with water and soap, then scrubbed the dishes sitting on the side, one at a time, setting them in the second sink, which he filled with plain water.

“Just like old times,” he muttered, remembering the time he had done this in Jaehee’s coffee shop.

Memories like that one were pleasant, and the memories he carried of his childhood and time with Rika were less so. But, he was glad for them both. If he didn’t know what suffering was, he would never know what it meant to be content or happy.

Saeran smiled, breathing in the air in the apartment. It had smelled like freshly cut grass and lavender when they first arrived. That scent was fading, but every once in awhile, he got a small whiff of it floating around, and every time, knew he was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "It feels like we were just invited." yeah, like an entire flashback ago. also, when i typed in 'God,' the autofill on my document came up with 'Goddammit.' lololol
> 
> comment if you wish :D:D:D


	34. Color in a Friend

Wandering down the hallways of the arts building, Saeran couldn’t help but notice a couple of posters. Well, more than a couple. He counted at least a dozen in a single hallway, all proclaiming the arrival of a festival that was using part of the campus to set up. Raising an eyebrow, Saeran studied one more closely.

There would be games, and prizes, of course. Then there was a competition, a sort of talent show, where people could profess their skills and try to win some money. If Yoosung went in for gaming, he’d win for sure. Saeran smiled at the thought of him sitting at a computer for the five minute time and speed running an hour-long game.

Saeran looked up and down the hall to make sure no one was around, then carefully pulled the poster off the wall. Now, instead of there being about twenty in this particular hallway, the number was closer to nineteen. He smirked and rolled the poster up, shoving it into his bag as he headed to class.

These classes were a lot more enjoyable than they had been when he was in computer science. Every day, he learned about new techniques and got to practice them to get the hang of them. His latest practice work was a seagull, and he was doing fairly well, practicing dynamic shading on the tail feathers, and blending the head into the background with desaturated colors.

Once his two classes for the day were over, Saeran headed home. He smiled and waved at a few people, said ‘hey’ when they did, and that was that. He had successfully socialized. Sort of.

It was still a problem that Saeran had, but he also had a feeling that this fair would help some. Maybe he would end up hanging out with some random people.

“Hey! Your name is Saeran, right?” asked a girl from his class. She always wore a beret, said it made her look more like an artist. Saeran thought it suited her.

“Yeah, it is. And you’re Jia, right?”

“That’s right! Anyway, the fair is coming up, and I was wondering if you would want to go with me? And my friends, of course, it’s not just me.”

“Sure,” Saeran replied, nodding.

“Great! See you then!” Jia walked away, swinging her hips a bit from side to side. Saeran tilted his head curiously. He’d heard from Zen that when women did that, it was because they were looking for your attention. It didn’t really make sense to him, but then, Saeran had never really been interested in women.

Wait.

Before he had been able to sign up for art classes, Saeran had had to take a quick color test, to make sure that he would end up in the right class. Most of the time, soulmates didn’t matter, but when it came to things that required color differences, they did. There was a class that taught in grey tones, of course, but the class Saeran had ended up in was exclusively for people who could see in color (and still had to pass the grey course first.)

Jia had been trying to seduce him, right? That meant she didn’t have a soulmate. Or maybe they had an open relationship? It could just be how she walked. He wanted to ask her, to make sure, but doing so might reveal that she had somehow cheated the test and gotten past the proctors.

Regardless, it really wasn’t any of his concern. Though, it would explain her apparent love of making brightly colored paintings. If she couldn’t actually see them, how would she know what was going on her canvas.

Saeran shook his head. He wasn’t worrying about this. She had made it into the class, and that was that. It didn’t matter if she couldn’t see color or not.

He drove home, then walked into his apartment, noting that the lights were off. That was a usual occurrence. Yoosung’s job kept him from being home until about six, when the vet’s office was closed and completed cleaning.

The two of them had found out that Saeran was allergic to feathers after Yoosung accidentally brought one home on his jacket.

That resulted in a (thankfully) quick trip to the hospital, where they found out it was only mild. Saeran could see Yoosung checking and double checking himself in the bathroom for feathers, asking a coworker for help in finding any filaments that might have gotten stuck to him.

He was such a worrywart, it was adorable.

Saeran set the poster on the kitchen table, and set to making something simple. He wasn’t nearly as good a cook as Yoosung was, but being the first one home made him into more of a cook than originally anticipated.

He seasoned some chicken meat, then chopped and roasted a few vegetables, dismissing a thought as it told him to slice open his wrist, rolling his eyes as he did so.

Of course, any good chef will taste their food, and that meant that Saeran may or may not have made a snack of his meal.

“I’m home!” Yoosung called. The door shut behind him, and he wandered into the kitchen, following the scent of deliciously cooked chicken and vegetables.

“I made dinner. No onions, of course.”

“Do we even own any?”

“We have one. I’m using it for something tomorrow. I saw a recipe in the cookbook that looked good, so I’m making it for lunch for myself. I’ll make a portion without for you,” Saeran said.

“I see,” Yoosung said. He hugged his fiance from behind, resting his head on the other’s shoulder. The two of them stood like that for awhile, as Saeran finished making dinner.

“How was work today?” Saeran asked.

“It was good. I helped a mother cat give birth,” said Yoosung, then his face fell a bit. “It was only supposed to be a routine checkup on the pregnancy. I didn’t expect to have a cat flop over and start popping kittens out on my table. I had to clean up after her and get the whole litter moved to the kennel so I could keep working.”

“Oh my god. Are the kittens alright?”

“They’re fine. Anyway, the owner doesn’t actually want to keep the kittens, and asked for my help in getting them adopted. Do you want one? There’s a cute little one with white fur and brown spots.”

“Sure. With your income, we can afford it,” Saeran said, putting half the chicken and vegetables on one plate, and the other half on a second. He handed the first to Yoosung, who grinned and sat down.

“You say my cooking is better than yours, but honestly, I think that your cooking is at least as good as mine. You’re really good with arty things.”

“How is this art?”

“Well… um… it’s not a sport?”

“Extreme cooking. Sautee peppers and get the ball into the goal to get your next ingredient,” Saeran said, taking a sip of water. Yoosung laughed.

“If you miss, you lose a spoon!” Saeran spat his water out, laughing hard.

“God, that would be terrible. Sorry, not good at sports? Then you have no cooking utensils! Good luck.”

“So how was school today? I see you brought a poster home. Were they handing them out?”

“It was good. My seagull looks ridiculous. As for the poster… I kind of stole it?” Yoosung stared. “But there were twenty in the hallway, and hundreds more all around campus. I think someone put in too many zeroes when they were printing copies,” Saeran said.

“I see. Well, it probably won’t be missed.”

“You’ve gotten way too comfortable with me breaking the law.”

“Yeah, but you always bend it, more than break it, or at least you know how not to get caught. I don’t really worry too much,” Yoosung said, shrugging, and put some vegetables into his mouth. “This is so good~”

“Glad you like it. And I don’t break the law that often.”

“You speed regularly.”

“Shut up,” Saeran muttered. Yoosung chuckled.

“As much as I love work, I really like coming home to see you,” said Yoosung.

“I like it when you come home, too. It gets lonely without you. Oh, right! A classmate of mine asked me to go with her and her friends to the festival. If you want, you could come, too. I don’t think they would mind too much.”

“Yeah, it’ll be fun!”

And thus it was settled. The two of them were going to go to the festival, and Saeran was going to hang out with Jia and her friends.

Yoosung didn’t pray often, but he sent a quick one to God, in the hopes that Saeran would successfully make friends on this venture.

 

“Saeran! You made it! Who is this?” Jia asked, as Saeran and Yoosung approached the entrance to the festival. Saeran had told Yoosung about Jia, and his confusion at the possible flirting that had been going on. Therefore, Yoosung was holding his hand.

“This is my fiance, Yoosung. Yoosung, this is Jia.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. And the rest of you?” There were four others in the group, making seven in total. The others introduced themselves, and Yoosung slipped right into talking to them like they had always been friends. Saeran made himself into something of a hero, as they wandered the midway where all the prizes were, and consistently won.

“We should bring you along whenever we go to the local amusement park!” said one of Jia’s friends.

They rode around, Saeran slowly getting more and more comfortable with them as time went on. Yoosung watched as he enjoyed himself, knowing that his secret plan had worked. In order for Saeran to be comfortable in a new environment, it took time and effort in order to make it feel like home, so Yoosung had quickly ingratiated himself into the group, knowing that Saeran would follow suit.

Now, Saeran was comfortable and had a group of friends. That made Yoosung happy, and, as they passed some old college friends of his, he decided to split from the group.

“Hey guys!” Yoosung said, waving.

“Yoosung!”

“Come on over, buddy!”

“Saeran, I’m gonna go say hi. Enjoy yourself!” With that, Yoosung went off to chill with his own friends. Saeran hardly had a chance to say anything as he watched his fiance dash away from him. He was left all alone with Jia and her friends, but he hardly had a moment to be anxious about the situation before he was being dragged away and playing more games.

There was food, too, good food that one of the others, Jyeunook, bought for everyone.

“Thank you,” Saeran said, somewhat surprised. He hadn’t been expecting this.

“Don’t look like that. You’re one of my friends, I’m gonna buy food for you. That’s how this works,” Jyeunook said.

“One of your friends?”

“You really thought we wouldn’t be friends with you after being together all night?” asked another. Her name was Soomi.

“Kind of? I guess that was stupid, huh?”

“Totally! You’re one of us, now!”

“The art nerds!” They all laughed, and Saeran laughed with them. He looked around briefly for Yoosung, but didn’t see him anywhere. That was okay. They would reunite later tonight. He pulled his phone out for a moment, to check for texts, but there was nothing. That was okay, too. After all, they had separate lives. Saeran couldn’t keep clinging to Yoosung forever.

The festival continued until midnight, when it went into forced shutdown. At that point, anyone who was still wandering around was ushered out and back to their cars. Saeran split from his new friends with a good-bye to all of them, heading to his car.

He found Yoosung asleep in the backseat, shaking him awake.

“Time to go home?” Yoosung asked.

“Yeah, it is. You can keep sleeping,” Saeran said, buckling Yoosung in. He tilted the seat back, kissing Yoosung’s forehead as he did so.

“Did you have fun with your friends?”

“Yeah, I did. It was… really enjoyable.”

 

At the time, Saeran hadn’t realized how social the five of them were, and they always went places with each other. He often found himself utterly exhausted before the end of whatever they were doing, and had to go home early, or else crash at the vet’s until Yoosung was finished.

Finally, Saeran had to start skipping some events, weighing the possibilities carefully in his mind against how much energy he had to spare. That made his friends curious at best, and Jia wasn’t having it at all.

“Why do you always go home early!?”

“I get tired easily.”

“So?”

“So, social places make me tired.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, but they do. I’m sorry I can’t always go with you guys, and that I can’t stay the whole time,” Saeran said, trying not to cry. It had only been three weeks, and he was already a complete disappointment to them.

“My little brother is like that. He doesn’t go out a whole lot, and when he does, it’s only for an hour,” said Taeyung, another of the five. The last of them, Jinsung, nodded.

“I’ve got a little bit of that. By the way, Jia, it’s called introversion. Not everyone’s a social powerhouse like you.”

“Still, I’m really happy that you keep inviting me. We can try for next time,” Saeran said.

“Yeah! Or we could find something smaller and less tiring to do,” Soomi said, clapping her hands together.

“Like roller skating?”

“Like roller skating!”

So they all went to the roller rink downtown in two cars. Jinsung drove Soomi and Jia, leaving Saeran to bring Taeyung and Jyeunook. He turned on the radio, letting it play quietly so they could talk if they wanted.

He wasn’t really paying attention to the song, but Taeyung started singing along with it. From what he could tell, Taeyung was spot on.

“You’re a really good singer,” Saeran said.

“Yeah… I was planning on entering that talent show thing at the festival, but I have horrible stage fright.”

“I see.” Saeran left it at that, and normally he would have just let it be Taeyung’s thing to deal with, but he found himself wanting to do something for him. He pursed his lips in thought, then decided on what to do about it, saying nothing for now.

The six of them reached the roller rink, going inside and getting skates on quickly. Saeran had never really roller skated before, but, as he stepped onto the rink, he found it was similar enough to ice skating that he was able to pull his skills over.

“Saeran, you’re really good at this!” Soomi said, wobbling on the side. Saeran smiled, and went around the rink once to get used to the skates. Then he took Soomi by the hand, leading her slowly and helping her get the hang of it. Once she was able to skate on her own, he let go.

“Woohoo!” Jisung cried as he skated past, pulling off a leg crossing move as he went.

They stopped for awhile to get some food and take a break, Soomi managing to get herself off the rink.

Pizza was on the menu that night.

“This was an awesome suggestion,” Jisung said, stuffing half a slice into his mouth at once.

“You’re just saying that because you’re a skating extraordinaire,” Jyeunook replied.

“I wish I was,” Soomi said.

“You’re already getting better,” Jia said. When they finished their pizza and drained their cups of soda, they all headed back out to the rink. Saeran could feel fatigue starting to set into his body. He figured he could manage one more lap around the rink before he had to go home, and set out to do so.

He hadn’t anticipated a large group of rowdy people coming in. The two groups passed each other, and Saeran squished to the side as best he could. That was the end of his final lap, and it hadn’t even begun.

“I need to head home. You guys alright with one car?” Saeran asked.

“Yeah, we’ll be fine!”

“I live near here, anyway,” Taeyung said.

“Alright. Have fun.” He turned his skates in, then left the rink, heading home with the music blasting loudly all the way. The music turned into a sort of shield that made him feel better.

Inside his apartment, he found Yoosung playing an actual console game. It looked like one of the Super Smash Bros. Saeran surreptitiously grabbed another controller, entering the game when the current match ended.

“I’m home,” he said, selecting a character.

“Good to have you home. Did you eat?”

“Yeah, we got pizza. They… understand a little better about my introversion. I think I can just tell them I can’t make it, now, and they’ll be okay with it.”

“Did Jia throw a fit?”

“Yeah.” They played together, going into the story mode, which confirmed that it was Brawl. They used the characters at their disposal to complete the entire thing, then, since it was late, headed to bed.

“I miss being able to just hang out with you,” Yoosung said, “but I’ve got work, you have your classes and friends. We should go out to eat tomorrow!”

“That sounds good,” Saeran said. The two of them kissed, and Yoosung cuddled into Saeran’s side. Saeran looped an arm over his shoulder, falling asleep quickly.

 

He could hardly believe it. It had been three years since Saeran had entered college, and that meant that there was only one year left. Staring at the calendar, Saeran tentatively poked the day, the last day of finals. Now, there was just the summer left, and some classes he was taking to get up to speed for his last year, then the last year itself, and finally, he would graduate.

After graduation would come some proper wedding planning. He and Yoosung had been talking things over for a long time, trying to figure out what they wanted to do, and when.

The invitations themselves were a mess. First off, there were all of the people in Yoosung’s family. He took care of those himself, but there wasn’t a date yet, so none of them could be sent off. Then there was the chance, with some drama going on in some part of the family, that someone would be excommunicated. That would mean one less invitation for themselves

Saeran had taken care of inviting the others in their friend group, as well as his own friends, who then asked for plus ones. He gave them a ‘potentially’ on that one.

Jumin offered to rent any venue they wanted, and that meant knowing about how many people were going to be attending. It was a lot more than Saeran realized it would be.

He tore himself away from the calendar, and checked out the guest list one final time before heading to school, feeling as though they had forgotten to invite someone.

He didn’t know who that someone could be, though.

“Hey, Saeran! Have you ever had sex? I mean, I know you’ve got a fiance, but like...” Jyeunook trailed off.

“Yes,” Saeran said bluntly. A brief flash of a memory whizzed by. It was the time he had talked to Mr. Seong after he and Yoosung had had loud sex the night before.

Saeran’s eyes widened, and he shot a text at Yoosung on the spot, reminding him that they needed to invite the Seongs.

“How is it? Having sex like that?”

“That’s a really personal question. What’s it like having sex with a woman?” Saeran asked. His friends faltered, as understanding dawned on them.

One by one, they headed to their finals. Saeran was in one of his general education finals, and, as he answered one question after another, he decided to try his hand at Chinese dumplings. They were pretty tasty, after all. Then he remembered that he and Yoosung had decided to go out together that night. The dumplings would have to wait, then.

The second final was marginally difficult, but still nothing he really had to worry about. He had studied plenty, and gotten a lot of help from Yoosung and his friends.

Saeran walked outside, feeling how hot it was, and realized that, at this time of year, his favorite ice cream truck would be rolling around its usual spot. He decided to go and get some.

“Hey, Saeran!” someone called. Saeran looked over at the voice, seeing Yoosung approaching.

“Yoosung? What are you doing here?”

“I got off work early. Not a lot of people today, and I finished up quickly.”

“Nice. I’m going to get ice cream. You want some?”

“Yeah! From the truck?”

“You know it.” The two of them walked to where the truck was parked, Saeran smiling all the while. He felt free, knowing that he had no responsibilities for the rest of the day. Once Yoosung had gotten settled at his new job, and started earning a lot more money than either of them realized he would get, Saeran had quit his job at the flower shop. As much as he liked it there, he wasn’t really suited to customer service.

Besides, he had a small number of commissions to paint which were bringing in some money.

They reached the ice cream truck as it sat in wait of small children passing by.

“Saeran! Good to see you!”

“It’s good to see you, too.”

“Still with your boyfriend, I see.”

“Fiance, actually. We’re getting married sometime next year.”

“That’s great! Good luck, and I hope you have a happy marriage. What would you like?”

“Mint chocolate chip and strawberry,” Yoosung said. The ice cream man handed them their cones, they paid, and then wandered back to their cars to head home.

“Do you remember?” Yoosung asked suddenly, stopping on the side walk. “The first time you kissed me, we were standing right here, and you freaked out and ran away.”

“I remember. I felt like being loved by you, or even hanging out with you, was something I didn’t deserve. It would make me happy, and that couldn’t happen. Now… I almost wish that I hadn’t run away.”

“If you hadn’t, I don’t know if I would’ve tried so hard to win you over,” Yoosung said, licking his ice cream as it threatened to melt off the cone.

“Yeah… I guess that maybe we were exactly where we always needed to be? In order for us to work out.”

“Are you saying that we met when we were supposed to?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“I think so, too. I was about ready to give up on love and relationships. If it weren’t for Zen having met Jaehee when he was older than I was, I probably would have given up on it sooner. But then, I met you, and...” Yoosung trailed off, blush dusting his cheeks lightly. Saeran smiled, knowing what he was talking about.

“Yeah. Yoosung.”

“What?”

“I love you, with every fiber of my being,” Saeran said. He kissed Yoosung, then held him close. “And I am not running away from you, ever again.”

“Saeran,” Yoosung choked out, as tears slid down his face.

“You dork, what are you crying for?”

“Because I’m really happy. Can we get married before your graduation?”

“Sorry, I want to wait. Besides, if we do, we’ll have an entire wedding to plan in a couple months at most. I still have to go to school, right?”

“Right. Graduate fast.”

“I will, don’t worry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are my tomodachi. Anyway, Saeran has friends, and he likes his friends, and he's going to get married, and graduate and stuff~ but that also means that this particular adventure is almost over .-. 
> 
> HOWEVER! i do have plans to get a couple fics for two other fandoms going. the first is for the magi series, which has shifted from a self-insert romance to a slightly-less-self-insert romance that may have multiple routes. the second is for the show Firefly :D as well as Dollhouse, sort of :3
> 
> comment if you wish, and follow my tumblr @scriberat


	35. Color in Our Wedding

Saeran took a look at himself in the mirror. He was wearing a suit that was unfamiliar to him, and adjusted a purple tie around his neck, trying to keep it from choking him. Nerves were jangling all over his body, from his neck that was being strangled to his feet that just wanted to run away from all of this.

Or, maybe he wanted to run toward this? Shaking his head, Saeran averted his gaze from the redhead staring back at him, instead focusing his attention on a pair of framed pictures hanging nearby. One was a picture V had taken of Yoosung as he walked across the stage and got his diploma. The other was of Saeran, doing the same thing, in blue robes just like Yoosung.

It was one of the few pictures of him where he was actually smiling, and not just for the camera.

He could remember the day well. It had been a sunny day outside, and everyone had come to watch their children as they went to the adult world, diplomas in hand. All of his friends had gathered that day to see him graduate, sitting together in an easily recognizable group. Saeran’s eyes had wandered during the beginning speeches until he found them.

Yoosung had waved when their eyes met, and Saeran waved shyly back. Then he turned his attention to the front, as the lines of students started moving. His last name was Choi, putting him near the front. As the first row stood to leave, Saeran prepared himself to do the same.

He got up with the people next to him, turned toward the aisle to the stage, and marched forward, as they’d been told to do. Walking down the aisle and up onto the stage was easy. Saeran waited as one student after another was called forth. When his own name was called, he went across the stage rather quickly, anxiety bubbling up inside of him.

Taking the folder with a fake degree inside, Saeran managed to pause for three seconds, turning toward the official camera that they had set up and smiling for it. Then he walked off the stage and back to his seat, waiting for the rest of the students to get their own degrees.

After the graduation ceremony had closed, Saeran went to find his friends. He met up with Taeyung, who was also a Choi, and the two of them talked for a bit before splitting to find their families.

Yoosung tackled him in a hug from behind, coming around to face Saeran with a wide grin on his face. He had gotten a lot taller since he and Saeran had met, going from just a bit shorter than Saeran to a full head taller. Saeran didn’t mind a bit, especially since, as Yoosung had gotten taller, he had also become more dominant in bed, and Saeran found himself enjoying that aspect very much.

“You did it!”

“Yeah, I did. I graduated,” Saeran said. He had never even been to school, and here he was now, with a proper college diploma in his hands.

“Congratulations,” said Zen, clapping Saeran on the shoulder. “You’re doing better than I did at your age.”

“We’re proud of you, Saeran,” Jaehee added. Saeran smiled.

“Thank you. Both of you.”

“As congratulations for your graduation, Jihyun and I got you a gift. Here,” Jumin said, handing Saeran a present. “It’s not much, but it will be useful with that degree.”

“Really?” Saeran opened it on the spot, pulling a frame from the wrapping. It was exactly the right size for the diploma that would be coming along.

“Alright, make way, make way! Big brother coming through!” Saeyoung said loudly, gently pushing Yoosung out of the way. Yoosung obliged, patting Saeyoung on the head as he did so. Saeyoung batted his head away, then faced his brother.

“I’m proud of you, Saeran,” he said sincerely. Saeran smiled.

“Thank you. I’m… glad you’re my brother,” Saeran said quietly, turning his head to the side.

“What was that?”

“I’m glad you’re my brother,” he said again, at a normal speaking tone.

It had made his brother cry on the spot, which made Yoosung cry, and pretty soon, everyone was hugging. Miyoung had joined in, with her twins squeezing in around Saeran’s legs.

Saeran left the picture behind, adjusting his tie one last time, and exited his and Yoosung’s apartment, going outside to his brother’s car, which was parked just outside. He climbed into the passenger seat, buckling himself in.

“Ready?” Saeyoung asked, looking excited and nervous at the same time.

“Yeah. You?” Saeran asked.

“Yep.” The car drove to a church, giving Saeran some time to settle his racing heart. It wasn’t just this event, it was one of the people who was going to be there. Saeyoung knew, of course. It would have been stupid not to tell him.

After his graduation, Saeran had been pulled aside by a stranger. He hadn’t known, then, who the man was, but he supposed it should have been obvious. With his gold eyes like Saeyoung’s, authoritative air that comes with age, and the regret and pride on his face, Saeran should have known that that man was his father.

“You’re… all grown up,” he had said.

“Yeah?”

“Do you know who I am?”

“Not really?” That had brought forth an explanation, and as Mr. Choi explained himself, he had started to cry. It was only a tear, but it was more than Saeran had expected.

“Dad…?” Saeyoung stood behind them, fearful of what was happening.

“My sons.”

 

Upon arriving at the church, Saeran got out of the car, steeling himself for whoever had already shown up, trying to keep himself from freaking out. 

Inside, people were milling about. Saeran recognized several of them, and tried to blend into the background. He had no such luck, however. His red hair, especially next to his brother, made him easily recognizable.

“Are you excited?” asked a random person. From the facial structure, Saeran assumed they were from Yoosung’s side of the family.

“Yes, I am.” He talked to a few other people, then they all went into the church a few minutes before the ceremony was due to start.

“Ready?” Saeyoung asked, coming up beside him. Saeran nodded. He looked at his half of the party. Zen, V, and Saeyoung as his best man were with him. Jumin, Jaehee, and Miyoung were with Yoosung. They had decided this by which of their friends was more invested in who. It hadn’t been terribly difficult, thankfully. They had put V with Saeran thanks to their parallel careers and the friendship that had grown from it. Jumin was with Yoosung, having become a sort of second father for the blond while he was in college. Jaehee had also joined his party, as the two had become closer thanks to working in the same space for awhile.

Saeran didn’t understand how. He assumed it was part of Yoosung’s magic.

Zen had joined Saeran’s party, a decision catalyzed by his showing up that day after Saeran and Yoosung had fallen out over Rika, wanting to make good on his threat.

“Alright, music’s started, time for the march,” said Mr. Choi. He held out his arm for Saeran to take, which he did.

“Right.” Saeran walked down the aisle with his party, last in line, as Zen, then V, then Saeyoung stood to the side of the dais at the front of the church before he reached it himself.

“Who will give this man away?” asked the officiate.

“I will,” Saeran’s father said. He sent Saeran up the raised platform to tak his place next to the officiate. The others were already lined up, with Jaehee, Jumin, and Miyoung leading up to Yoosung, who was wearing a green tie. He had cut his hair, letting it fall a bit to the side, still parted like it was in college, and brown like pictures of him from high school.

The officiate went through the words to be repeated. Saeran listened as Yoosung said them, then did so himself.

“I do take thee to have and to hold, to love and cherish, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, ‘til death do us part,” they said to each other. The vows were standard, but Saeran had never said words that meant so much to him. This was it. This was exactly where he wanted to be, right by Yoosung’s side. He took a deep breath, trying not to cry.

“Do you have the rings?”

“Yes,” Yoosung and Saeran chorused. Yoosung reached behind him for the ring that Miyoung was carrying for him, taking Saeran’s hand.

“With this ring, I thee wed,” he said, slipping the ring onto Saeran’s finger. Saeran took his own ring from Saeyoung, saying the same words and putting it on Yoosung’s finger.

“By the power vested in me by God, and by Korea, I now pronounce you two husbands. You may kiss,” said the officiate. Yoosung pulled Saeran close, kissing him gently.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too,” Saeran whispered back. Everyone present clapped for the couple. Saeran looked out over the crowd, which was a mix of his and Yoosung’s friends and family.

Jia and the others were there, sitting together next to Mr. and Mrs. Seong. That was pretty much his entire invite list. Even with another few years at college, he hadn’t actually made a lot of friends, and certainly no one he would invite to his wedding.

 

The wedding party went to a separate room, while everyone else went outside where a banquet had been set up for the reception. Photos were taken, of Saeran and Yoosung together, of each of their parties, and the whole group together.

Finally, after about an hour of taking pictures, even V was satisfied with the quality. They went outside, joining the reception. Before they left, however, Zen handed them both a granola bar.

“Trust me. You need to eat today,” he said. The two of them were a bit confused, but they ate the granola bars anyway. 

People were seated where they had been assigned, with family members sitting close to the party. That basically meant that Mr. Choi was sitting with Mr. and Mrs. Kim, as well as Yoosung’s sister and her kids.

The meaning of Zen’s strange words became clear pretty quickly, as one by one, people from the wedding approached Yoosung and Saeran in order to congratulate them on getting married. Over and over, the two of them had the same conversations and greetings, unable to spare a moment to shove any delicious beef stew into their mouths.

Then it was time for the speeches. Saeyoung stood and tapped his glass, calling for attention as he was handed a microphone.

“Hello everyone. I’d like to start by thanking you all for coming today. Now, I’ve known my brother for a long time, practically my whole life, save for ten minutes.” Everyone laughed. “And I’ve been able to watch him grow as a person. No matter what we went through as kids, no matter how many times he cried, or got hurt, he never gave up hope. Even when we reconnected, he still had a lot of spite in him. When he decided to go to college at my recommendation, I was overjoyed. I never would have imagined that doing so would result in him meeting his soulmate and falling in love with my best friend. That was the best I could have asked for.

“Now that they’re married, I want to say what we’ve all been saying today: congratulations to you both, and may you live happily ever after.”

Saeran resisted crying, until he heard Yoosung next to him try to swallow a sob. He reached for his hand, rubbing it gently, tears welling in his eyes.

It was Miyoung’s turn, next.

“I met Yoosung several years ago, after meeting Saeyoung. He struck me as a sweet and naive kid, and lazy to the bone. But if any of you have ever seen Yoosung put his mind to something, you know that he’s not lazy at all. He tries his hardest to make things happen.

“Saeran told me, right off the bat, that I was nothing to his brother but a replacement for himself. I watched him grow as a person, trying to be, as he put it, less abrasive to the world. He closed in on himself, did the minimal that was required. Then he met Yoosung.

“He started to flourish more, go out more, and experience new things. Thanks to Yoosung, Saeran was able to enjoy life, and thanks to Saeran, Yoosung found a reason to work hard again.”

“Oh my god,” Saeran muttered. He hadn’t realized that his siblings could be such saps. He should have known, and given the speeches to Zen and Jaehee.

Looking at his husband --- his husband! --- Saeran couldn’t help but smile. It had been a wild ride, from start to finish, now that he thought about it, from beginning to end. Even the first day they had met had been strange.

Saeran hadn't expected anything more from that day than a good cup of coffee, mediocre classes, and nagging from his brother to find someone. He hadn't expected to find his soulmate, or to discover what color was. He certainly didn't think that he would find violet to be such a lovely color.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter than usual but ohhhh my gooooood. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
> 
> According to the document:  
> final word count: 135,012  
> final page count: 335
> 
> this has been a great fic to write, and I love you all for reading and commenting. I'll see you again soon!

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfiction. If you read, please leave some feedback so I can improve for later chapters and works :D


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